


[B L I N K]

by andachippedcup



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Coma, Crossover, F/M, Falling In Love, Friends to Lovers, Hospitalization, Love Confessions, Metahumans, Miscommunication, Near Death Experiences, POV Alternating, POV Barry Allen, POV Felicity Smoak, POV Oliver Queen, Pining, Protectiveness, Superpowers, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-01
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-02-23 14:03:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 92,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23379148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andachippedcup/pseuds/andachippedcup
Summary: When Barry runs back in time, his meddling accidentally alters the timeline in an unforeseen way, causing Felicity to be struck by lightning instead of Barry on the night of the particle accelerator explosion. As Felicity lies in a coma, Barry informs a distraught Oliver that when she awakes, Felicity may have speedster abilities. Oliver must now protect Felicity from those who would do her harm - and from herself when she awakes to superhuman powers she is unable to control.
Relationships: Oliver Queen/Felicity Smoak
Comments: 273
Kudos: 378





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Massive, MASSIVE kudos for this go to my diligent beta, Elley (@Elley) for being so enthusiastic and thorough in her tireless editing. Thanks also goes to Calli, (@callistawolf) for helping me plot out this story and helping me take a loose idea and turn it into something with legs. You ladies rock.

Central City of the past was exactly how Barry Allen remembered it being, the night that his life changed so completely. Bustling, brimming with life even on a wet and rainy night. The entire place seemed abuzz with excitement over the coming night’s event: the historic flipping of the switch on STAR Labs’ particle accelerator. Barry himself remembered vividly his own excitement, his enthusiasm, and his fervent desire to be present in person to bear witness to history. 

But instead, he would miss it; true to form, he would be too late to make it into STAR Labs for the big show. 

“And I still will be this time,” Barry remarked with a grin as he pulled up the hood of the sweatshirt he’d grabbed to help him escape notice as he walked briskly through the stormy streets. He had run back in time to change things related to tonight’s events. But he had no intention of messing with the sequence of events that would lead to him becoming The Flash. No, he was here for another reason.

He was going to _control_ the particle accelerator explosion - and the resultant energy wave - and thereby control which people were impacted by it. If he could control the explosion, he could control where the energy in it was released. In essence? He could control who became a metahuman - and who didn’t. 

And that was the real purpose of this venture. Even as he walked through the familiar streets of Central City past, he knew that the odds were he would pass at least a few people whose lives would be impacted by the blast. And of those who would go on to gain powers, most would use those powers irresponsibly. 

Few would prove themselves as deserving as he had. 

And it was for that reason that Barry sought only to _control_ the explosion rather than stop it. Stopping it would deny him the opportunity to become The Flash. Cisco would not become Vibe. There would be no Firestorm. No Elongated Man. But allowing the explosion to happen, albeit in a more measured way? 

That would allow Barry to prevent the worst of the worst from ever being endowed with their metahuman gifts. No Weather Wizard. No Mirror Master. No Turtle, Mist, Top, Everyman, Rainbow Raider or their like. 

What’s more? 

It would mean Barry himself would not have to chase each of them down. No meta of the week interrupting his idyllic life with Iris. No more interrupted evenings at home. No more bailing early on date night, no more living in the belly of STAR Labs, filling the pipeline with metas who had proven themselves to be nothing more than superpowered criminals. 

Barry could have some shred of _normalcy_ in his life, while still retaining the speed he had been gifted. All he had to do was plant the program that would override the particle accelerator to vent energy selectively; it would still mimic the explosion but the energy released in the process would be controlled. There would be no indiscriminate gifting of powers on this evening, if Barry had his way.

Tonight, only the worthy would be affected by the dark matter energy. But for that to be the case, Barry had work to do. He needed to recruit the one person to his cause who was capable of making his vision a reality. 

He needed Felicity Smoak. 

Barry navigated his way to the CCPD station that was like a second home. Carefully avoiding the officers who might recognize him, Barry stole up to Joe’s desk, which he knew he would find empty. Grabbing the landline phone resting neatly on the left hand side of it, Barry dialed the number that he had committed to memory prior to racing back to this time and place. 

The line rang all of two rings before a breathless, bubbly voice answered on the other end, making Barry smile.

“Hello, this is Felicity Smoak!” 

Bingo.

“Felicity! Hi… It’s Barry.” 

“Barry? Aren’t you like… on a train back to Central City right now?” 

Cringing, Barry looked down at his watch. Crap. She was right. But the window of opportunity he had to pull this all off was tight. So even though his past self _was_ still en route from Starling to Central City, there was nothing for it. He needed her here to pull this off. 

“Yeah… Yeah I am, actually.” 

“That’s so weird, your number showed up as some other Central City number, not your cell-” Felicity rambled and Barry winced. The problem with trying to pull a fast one on a literal genius was that, even though he was the fastest man alive, she was somehow a step ahead of him. 

“This is a work line. Sorry. I sometimes mix the two up,” Barry lied, biting his lower lip as he waited to see if she’d buy the fake story.

“Oh. Gotcha. That makes sense. So, what’s up?!” 

_Thank goodness._ She’d bought it. 

“Well I was just… You know I was thinking. And I don’t think I’m the only one who wants to see the particle accelerator go live tonight.” 

“Umm duh. That’s why you better hope you get back into town early enough to get a spot inside STAR Labs. The line to get inside is probably going to wrap city blocks!” 

“Well, yeah but what I mean is… Do you umm want to see it? The particle accelerator, that is. I know Oliver was going out in the field when I left but...if you’re done helping him maybe you could… I mean, would you like to come to town to go see it? Because that’s a thing that could maybe happen,” Barry offered up haltingly. Though he was doing his level best to channel the awkward, shyly flirtatious attitude his past self had nurtured towards Felicity at this point, doing so was very much at war with his present self’s perspective. His present self being very much in love with Iris and very much aware of how in love Felicity was with Oliver. 

“Umm… Oliver is… he’s wrapping up things but he shouldn’t need me for the rest of the night. But...I don’t really think I can make it in time at this point. I mean, you’re already on the train and I think even _you_ are going to be hard pressed to make it in time,” Felicity pointed out and Barry rolled his eyes. _Damn logic._ He had a plan for getting her here but she was right - the train alone couldn’t get her here in time. 

“Trust me. The train’s running fast tonight. I talked with the engineer - he said all tracks to Central City are running at breakneck speed tonight. If you leave now, you’ll make it. And besides… I could really use your help with something, no matter what time you get here. I-If you’re willing to help me, that is.” 

He could sense her indecision in the ensuing silence and he was starting to sweat it that his plan might not actually work when, at last, he heard her exhale heavily. 

“This is insane. But alright. I’m in.” 

“Seriously?” 

“Yeah. I mean… How many chances do you get to witness scientific history in person, while also helping a friend… Right?” 

“Right,” Barry laughed, relaxing measurably. “Alright, call me back on this number with your train details and I’ll be there to pick you up at the station. This is going to be amazing, Felicity!” 

He hung up the phone and reclined against the back of his chair smugly. The pieces were falling into place. Now he just needed to wait for Felicity’s text and he could stage the next part of his plan. 

It felt like a lifetime but eventually, he got another call from her, telling him the details of her train. She voiced her concerns about not making it in time (“the estimated arrival time is after the particle accelerator gets turned on, Barry!”) and he’d dismissed them, assuring her the lines were running fast and not to worry. 

And then? He ran for the train. 

He had a plan. A very crazy plan, perhaps, but a plan nonetheless. He hit his top running speed easily and in a flash ( _ha!_ ) he could see the very train from which Felicity had just called him. Running alongside it, he scanned the passenger cars one by one until, at last, he saw her. Fortunately, the car she’d selected was mostly empty and she was seated by herself towards the back of it with her face in a book. 

Barry hopped aboard the railcar just behind Felicity’s with ease. Pulling his hoodie down low, he walked briskly from his car towards hers, careful to enter quietly so as not to draw her attention - or anyone else’s. 

She was still focused on her book; even as he watched she idly turned a page and continued her relaxed reading. He approached her noiselessly from behind. When he was just behind her, he took his right hand and focused intently. Right away, his hand began to move with such speed that it became a mere blur.

All he needed to do was apply pressure to the correct blood vessel and she would pass out. That accomplished, he could superspeed her off of this train and onto one that would arrive in Central City none the wiser, with time to spare before the particle accelerator was turned on.

The problem was, he could also kill her if he applied pressure to the wrong blood vessel, or for too long. No pressure. But he’d done this before. It would totally be fine. He was like… 98% certain.

With a silent, deep inhale, Barry moved his hand towards her neck and time seemed to slow as his fingers phased through Felicity’s skin. As his fingertips found the blood vessel in question, Barry let his hand cease vibrating for a split second and in that moment, he watched Felicity slump forward. Phasing his hand back out, Barry took a breath as his body returned to normal speed and he touched his fingers lightly against Felicity’s neck to check for a pulse. 

The fluttering pulse that met his fingers was a welcome relief and he exhaled happily. 

“Excellent. Alright, Felicity. You’re catching the express ride to Central City tonight,” Barry commented with a chuckle, hefting her prone figure up into his arms before he sped off the train in a rush.

\-----

Felicity was awakened with a start as the train came hissing to a stop at the Central City station, sending the book in her lap flying. She’d… dozed off? She hadn’t even felt tired! As she set about gathering her book and her purse, the few other passengers in her car departed and she hurried to follow suit, flustered and off balance from her unexpected nap. No sooner had she departed the train than she heard a familiar voice call out to her. 

“Felicity!” 

Across the station, her eyes landed on Barry, dressed in a red hoodie that he had drawn up over his head and holding an umbrella in one hand and waving at her with the other. She hurried through the sheets of rain to meet him, gratefully accepting the shelter his umbrella provided. 

“Hey!” 

“Thanks for coming.” 

“Thanks for inviting me,” she smiled at him even though he didn’t seem to be facing her, too busy scanning the crowd around them. 

“Listen, I know we’re cutting it close with the particle accelerator turning on but that thing that I need help with… you’re good with code. Any chance I can have you crunch some numbers for me first?”

Her smile grew wider. Code? That was definitely within her wheelhouse. 

“Are you kidding? I crunch numbers for breakfast! What do you need?” 

Instead of answering her right away, he began to weave his way through the station and Felicity belatedly followed him, getting doused by a bit of rain as she failed to keep pace with Barry and the umbrella. 

“It’s a program that I need for this project I’ve been working on. It can handle real time information flow of massive data quantities and extrapolate exponential outcomes. It’s super, crazy advanced, way beyond what I’m capable of handling. But I figured you? With your background? Piece of cake.” 

At that, Felicity’s spine tingled with a faint sense of unease. 

“M-My background? What you mean IT?” 

“Not exactly. I mean your whole… ‘hacker’ thing. You know. Your _code_ ,” Barry intoned almost conspiratorially and Felicity stopped dead in her tracks until a sheet of rain washed over her and sent her scurrying back under the shelter of Barry’s umbrella, her heart racing.

Had he… just referred to the x-axis bi-numberic algorithm she and Cooper had built in college? How could he even know about that? _No one_ was supposed to know about that except for her, Cooper, and Myron.

And Cooper was dead. 

“Umm… what?” 

“Oh you know. MIT, Class of 2009. You’re like a coding genius, right?” 

Felicity was acutely aware of her heart hammering in her chest as Barry nonchalantly chattered on and she wondered if she was being oversensitive. Had he really referenced her algorithm or was he simply speaking in broad, generalized terms about code and her knowledge of it? 

This was Barry. Not some random guy on the street. He’d just helped her to help Oliver. She’d let him in on the secret of Oliver’s alter ego identity. Surely he wasn’t about to prove himself to be some sort of creep? 

Oh she really hoped he wasn’t some sort of creep. 

“R-Right,” she stammered back with a forced laugh, swallowing thickly as he led her to the CCPD station. The place was busy as a beehive with officers and detectives and techs and countless others coming and going and Felicity stayed close to Barry as he expertly wove his way through the building. 

_Odd of him to keep his hood up, even now that we’re inside and out of the rain_ , she thought to herself with a frown just as Barry came to a sudden stop. 

“Okay, I’m gonna set you up right here,” he explained cheerily, tapping away at the keyboard to login securely to the system (as if she couldn’t have easily hacked through it). “I’ve got to go grab some stuff from my lab but I’ll be back in a flash.” 

At this he chuckled quietly under his breath and she frowned at him again, still not quite certain what she was meant to do. 

“Wait, Barry this program, you haven’t even explained what it’s for-” she began, only for him to flash her a double thumbs up. 

“It’s a personal request from Harrison Wells himself. He’s had his eyes on you and when he said he needed someone to run this line of code, I might have mentioned that you were totally up to the task,” Barry offered even as he began to retreat and Felicity felt her brain momentarily short circuit.

“H- _Harrison Wells_ knows who I am?!” 

“Sure does. By name.” 

“Holy frak. So this… This program?”

“Is directly helping him with the particle accelerator being powered on tonight. Their programmer got into an accident; that’s when I called you.” 

Felicity felt as though her brain might short circuit and suddenly Barry’s cagey behavior earlier seemed simply a matter of him waiting to reveal the genius behind the work she was about to do. And she was a-okay with that. Harrison Wells? _The_ Harrison Wells? Frak and a half! 

“Oh my… Okay, holy cow. I’ve got to get to work. What kind of code is it?” 

“He assumed you’d know what kind of code to run for the program when you saw the specs.” 

“Sure, no problem, I can _totally, totally_ handle that. Oh my gosh, I’m so excited. I think I’m sweating. Am I sweating? Nevermind. I’m on it. Working on code for the frakking particle accelerator! Oh em gee!” 

Barry chuckled and left her to her coding at Joe’s desk. Felicity was playing her part; now it was time for him to play his. He needed to tap into the system at STAR Labs so that Felicity’s coding was being input directly to it in real time. 

And then? With any luck, her code would help the overloaded particle accelerator to selectively vent the dark matter energy, creating metahumans out of only a select few when the explosion finally transpired. 

\-----

Felicity hadn’t tried very hard to resist Barry when he’d asked her to come to Central City, citing the particle accelerator turning on as ample enticement for making the 600 mile trip. Sure, the particle accelerator being turned on was perhaps the single most exciting scientific event of her lifetime. But if that hadn’t been reason enough to go? Barry had also asked for her help with something And seeing as Barry himself was the first guy to show an interest in her who Felicity had actually thought might have a glimmer of potential? Well… She was pretty inclined to help him out. He certainly seemed like a better choice than the snaggle toothed teenager at the corner store who always ogled her when she stopped in for a late night pint of mint chip.

When you kept odd hours helping a hooded vigilante, the potential romantic interests available to you were pretty slim. So Barry, with his full time job for the CCPD, his shared babbling tendencies, and their mutual love of science? Yeah. She was choosing to see potential there. 

Unfortunately, Barry’s behavior towards her ever since she’d arrived in Central City didn’t seem to indicate he had any interest in her aside from intellectual. What’s more, his veiled reference to the x axis bi-numeric algorithm she’d written back in college set her on edge. That was something she’d left in her past. Something which _no one_ was supposed to know about. How Barry knew was unsettling in the extreme.

Just like that, Felicity was reliving her college stalker days and in a flash, Barry Allen went from ‘having potential’ to downright ‘stalker creepy’. 

But then he’d gone and name dropped Harrison Wells and said that the great mind of their time himself had requested her assistance tonight. And...okay. Yeah. She’d gotten starstruck. And Barry knowing about her background had seemed less concerning because of course Harrison freaking Wells would have the ability and power to thoroughly check out and vet anyone he intended to shoulder tap for a special project. So she’d done the coding and had easily handled the stream of data that came flowing back to her. And yeah… it had been some pretty advanced calculations and coding. But in short order, Felicity had ironed out the bugs in the program and set it to run.

Her work here was done. The only problem was, Barry himself was nowhere to be found.

Just as she was getting ready to gather her things and go look for him, her cell phone lit up with a phone number she didn’t recognize, boasting a Central City area code. 

“Hello?” 

“What’s it like to be the woman who made Harrison Wells say ‘wow’?” Barry’s voice broke across the phone line and Felicity beamed. 

“Seriously?” 

“Seriously. You dazzled him. You totally saved the day.” 

“Really?” 

“Really. None of this would be possible without you, Felicity. Thank you.” 

“Don’t mention it,” Felicity beamed, blushing despite herself. Glancing down at her hands, she caught sight of her watch and gasped quietly to herself. She’d been so engrossed in her coding, she hadn’t realized how quickly time had passed. She had missed seeing the particle accelerator turn on by miles. At this point it had probably been on and running soundly for at least 40 minutes. 

“I guess when you’re helping make history, you don’t necessarily get to watch it unfold, huh?” She smiled a little sadly. “Any chance I can get a consolation meet and greet with Doctor Wells instead? Or a ‘thank you for your help’ tour of STAR Labs?” Felicity asked brightly and Barry chuckled quietly on the other end. 

“Raincheck? I’m not getting a tour or anything tonight either. I missed the cutoff. As usual, I was late.” 

At this Felicity’s shoulders slumped, more than a little disappointed but she nodded, not wanting to be a spoil sport. 

“Yeah, sure. Next time.” 

“Deal. Felicity thank you _so much_. You’re the best.” 

And with that, the line went dead and Felicity was left to stare at her cell phone, still rather confused as to what the frak had just transpired. So now, not only had she traveled six hundred miles for a scientific milestone that she had missed witnessing, but she wasn’t even getting dinner out of the trip? 

“So much for that,” she huffed as she walked through the unfamiliar halls, feeling more and more foolish with every step. As she strode through the station, however, her eyes lit on a little brass plate on the wall, denoting the door on her right as being the ‘Forensic Science Lab’. Despite her anger, Felicity hesitated, her hand hovering over the handle. 

Screw it. If Barry was going to convince her to come down here just to dump her at a desk to work for free and leave her there without a proper goodbye, he deserved a good chewing out before she left. Wrenching the door open, Felicity found herself face to face with none other than the man in question. Blinking at her in surprise, Barry took a moment to recover himself and then his face split open wide into a smile.

“Felicity? I-I was just about to call you!” 

Hmph. A likely story. But in fairness… his phone _might_ have dropped the call. She ought to give him the benefit of the doubt. This was Barry, after all. Already, some of her anger was melting away. She couldn’t be mad at him for being awkward and bumbling in how he’d handled her since she’d gotten here - awkward and bumbling was sort of on brand for him. And her too, if she was being honest.

“Are you sure? Kinda seemed like you forgot about me back there,” she remarked, half turning to point with her thumb over her shoulder and he frowned at her, confused. 

“F-Forgot about you? No way. I was late getting back… How did you get here so fast, by the way? You know what, nevermind. The point is, I missed the cutoff in line at STAR Labs. I was late...as usual…”

“Yeah, you mentioned that,” she sighed heavily, ignoring his comment about how fast she'd been. It wasn't like the desk he'd left her at was _that_ far from his lab. Barry, however, surprised her the next moment when he stepped forward, wringing his hands nervously. 

“But in the spirit of not being late again… umm... If you ever decide that Oliver Queen isn’t the guy for you… I-If you decide that you wanna go on a date with someone else... Umm… You should know that guy? He’ll be on time,” Barry explained, finishing off nervously and rubbing the back of his neck as he stared at her anxiously. And despite her earlier irritation with him, Felicity offered him a minuscule smile. 

“Good to know.”

At her response, Barry seemed to relax and his lips turned upward into a bright smile, his cheeks the faintest bit flushed as he looked at her gleefully. 

“Oh hey and I-I left something for Oliver. I hope he likes it.”

“What is it?” 

“It’s a umm… A mask. You know for… the secret identity thing and all,” he shrugged self consciously and Felicity felt her own smile grow wider. 

“Thanks Barry. I’ll make sure he sees it when I get back to Starling City.” 

“A-About that… I know we can’t get in to see the particle accelerator in person but-” at this he paused and raced to his work station, quickly turning on his monitor, where a live news feed was already pulled up and began to autoplay. “-maybe we can watch it together and then go grab a bite to eat? Do you like seafood?” 

Felicity shrugged, open to the idea but not _quite_ sold on going out for seafood in weather such as this. (Now, Big Belly Burger or Italian? That would have been worth braving the storm for.) As if to prove Felicity’s point, the live feed on the computer behind Barry turned to a news reporter who was clinging to an umbrella in the ferocious storm raging outside. 

“Besides, with this weather, it seems like ordering in might be a better option,” Felicity remarked as she pointed to the screen. Turning, Barry’s eyes dropped to the screen and studied it intently.

“I can’t believe they’re going forward even in this weather,” she remarked casually and Barry nodded slowly, turning his eyes from the computer screen to Felicity and then back again. 

“I know, right? Theoretically it shouldn’t impact things but-”

“Assuming predictability encourages the unpredictable,” Felicity sighed as she crossed her arms before her, prompting Barry’s brows to shoot up, surprised but also impressed. Before either of them could say another word though, the live feed outside of STAR Labs stole their attention. 

_“Wait we are now being told to evacuate the facility; the storm may have caused a malfunction to the primary cooling system. Officials are now trying to shut down the particle accelerator but so far have been unable to regain control of the system-”_

A shuddering _‘click’_ sounded as the power went out all around them and the lab was plunged into darkness. Before either she or Barry could say anything, however, a sudden noise drew their attention to the windows. Through the rain splatters, Felicity saw a large explosion of light come from the direction of STAR Labs. As she watched, a wave of energy seemed to ripple across the city, knocking any residual power completely and thoroughly out. All of Central City as far as the eye could see was in complete and utter blackness. 

“Probably just a...a power surge. I’m sure it’ll be fine,” Barry tried to reassure her in the darkness. “Felicity, do me a favor and use that chain to close the skylight? I’m pretty sure I’ve got a flashlight in my desk here…” Barry offered and Felicity nodded, blindly feeling in the dark until she reached the chains he’d mentioned. Cranking them clumsily, she made slow progress at closing up the skylight (which was leaking, she now realized - that couldn’t be good). Before she’d even managed to crank the thing a quarter of the way closed though, the room seemed to quake and the jangle of glass jars sounded as the shelves of chemical solutions around them shook. 

“Barry,” Felicity called out, prolonging the ‘y’ in his name as the colorful fluids began to rise mysteriously out of their respective containers and float in the air, as if gravity had been suspended. She heard Barry cry out triumphantly just before a gold beam of light swept the lab and she heard him make a strangled noise of surprise as the flashlight revealed what she was already seeing. 

Liquids weren’t supposed to just rise into the air like this. What was happening? Was this because of the wave of energy they’d seen ripple across the city? Engrossed in watching the rising liquid and in the million questions the phenomenon had brought to her mind, Felicity _didn’t_ notice the light collecting overhead until a rumble of thunder drew her attention skyward. Just as she looked up at the mostly open skylight, a blinding light shattered the glass over her head and then everything went dark. 

\-----

With Felicity’s algorithm, Barry had been able to run the program which, if all went according to plan, would be able to control the directionality of the particle accelerator explosion. Only Felicity’s genius level intellect could come up with a piece of code capable of the complex, instantaneous extrapolation that Barry needed if he was going to pull this off and only Felicity was capable of the on-the-fly calculations and adjustments that had been required.. 

It was a good thing he had managed to convince her to come to Central City last minute. She’d been able to troubleshoot the issues live and now? 

Now Barry Allen had a front row seat to the particle accelerator explosion that would grant him his speedster powers and - this time - avoid affecting many of the people who would prove themselves less than deserving of the powers they would receive. No more meta of the week, threatening him or his friends. No more metas interrupting time that he could be spending with Iris. Sure, he was altering the timeline. But really, was it so bad to be erasing Grodd and King Shark from time? Goodness no. And would the world be worse off not having a meta Hartley Rathaway or meta Mardon brothers? 

No. The world would be infinitely better off without such metas. And there would be him to thank for it. Maybe they’d name another drink after him. Or give him a plaque at city hall. Ooh or maybe a bench in the park? Of course, no one would _know_ what he’d done, outside of him and the team. But still. He would know. And he would know how deserving of praise his actions were. 

He could already picture how much more smoothly life in Central City would be without a seemingly never ending stream of metas to chase, 99% of whom used their powers for evil. Clearly not everyone was cut out for handling the gifts they’d been given as well as he had. If all went according to plan, the particle accelerator explosion would now be controlled enough that very few people would retain their meta powers. Cisco and Caitlin, Ronnie, Jay, and Professor Stein, among a few others. 

And well, _obviously_ himself.

Speaking of which, Barry glanced down at his watch. If he went now, he’d be able to watch the paramedics wheel him out of the lab and off to the hospital. And so would begin the coma that would end when he awoke as the fastest man alive. 

Grinning to himself, Barry weaved his way through the police department, careful to keep his sweatshirt hood up so no one would notice him. As expected, a crowd had gathered outside of the lab; Barry watched from the fringe as paramedics hustled around the area, fetching equipment while the gathered crowd buzzed with hushed interest. 

“What’s going on?” 

“Lightning hit the building, someone was hurt.” 

“Someone got _struck by lightning?!_ ”

Barry couldn’t suppress a smile as he listened to the bystanders. Little did any of them know just how significant this _particular_ lightning strike would prove. Barry lingered along the edge of the growing crowd, waiting restlessly for his past self to be wheeled out and whisked off to the hospital. It took a few minutes more but eventually, he heard the paramedics asking the crowd to make way and clear a path. The crowd obeyed quickly, parting like the Red Sea as the group of paramedics began to hustle out, wheeling their patient between them. But instead of seeing himself lying unconscious on the stretcher, Barry was shocked to see none other than Felicity, her face ashen and her eyes closed. Behind her and the paramedics wheeling her out, a younger version of himself trailed closely, looking worried and anxious. 

Barry felt his chest grow tight and breathing become difficult as he tried and failed to wrap his mind around this unexpected curveball. 

He… He hadn’t been hit by the lightning bolt? 

But...Felicity had been? But...if Barry was never struck, that would mean he would never develop his powers. Which would mean he would never become The Flash. He would be...

 _Powerless_. 

Barry felt the room begin to spin and he shoved his way roughly through the lingering throng of people, rushing headlong for the bathroom. He locked the door behind him and checked his reflection in the mirror; he still looked the same. But that didn’t mean a damn thing as far as his powers were concerned. He struggled to take a deep breath and failing that, he squared his shoulders and tried to convince himself everything was fine. 

He just needed to superspeed across the bathroom and that would put his fears to rest. But he didn’t superspeed across the bathroom. Or anywhere, for that matter; because when Barry tried to tap into his powers, he found an empty cavern where once, unbridled power and the crackle of lightning had been always at his fingertips.

No. _No no no no no._ This was wrong. This was _all wrong_. What had he done?! This wasn’t what was meant to have happened! He was supposed to be back in his present, curled up on the couch with Iris, enjoying a meta-free anniversary and instead? Instead? 

“Oh no. No no no,” he panted, “I’m trapped here.” 

\-----

Oliver had found the box with the mask that Barry had left for him but he had been less than inclined to wear it, given the source. Who was Barry freaking Allen to swoop in here and tell him how to do this whole ‘saving the city’ thing? He’d been doing it for over a year without Barry or a mask and he’d managed just fine. 

If he had stopped to be honest with himself, he would have acknowledged that yes, the mask was a good idea. And that yes, he should probably start wearing it. But he didn’t want to, purely for the reason that Barry had been the one to suggest it. A little further self evaluation would have prompted Oliver to admit that he was jealous of the CCPD Forensic Scientist who had managed to capture Felicity’s interest so quickly.

And if Oliver was being really, truly, _brutally_ honest with himself, he would have admitted that he did, in fact, harbor more than a passing interest in his blonde teammate. He actually… _really_ liked Felicity. Liked her enough to believe there was potential for them to really _be_ something together. But she deserved more than the danger that he could offer her, given the life he led. Still, watching her, rosy cheeked and obviously smitten as she interacted with Barry? It had been hard. Harder than he’d expected. And now he couldn’t help the profound jealousy and rage and distaste that rose at the back of his throat (along with some bile) at the mere idea of Felicity and Barry. Together. 

So no, he wasn’t going to wear Barry’s damn mask. 

“What’s in the box?” Diggle queried as the two men puttered around the Foundry a bit aimlessly. Oliver glanced up from the box and hastily returned the lid, shaking his head as he did so. 

“Nothing good. Barry’s idea of being useful.”

“He seemed like a pretty bright kid,” Diggle pointed out and Oliver rolled his eyes and grunted.

“Lightbulbs are bright. Doesn’t make them boyfriend material,” Oliver huffed under his breath.

“What was that?” 

“Nothing,” Oliver answered back, turning to face his partner. “Did uh… Did Felicity say when she planned on coming back to town?” 

At this, Diggle just smiled knowingly and shook his head. 

“She didn’t say. Sounded like a pretty last minute trip. She said Barry needed her help with something and she had to go to Central City. She didn’t really say how long she’d be gone.” 

At this Oliver sighed but nodded. He’d figured as much but he’d hoped against hope that maybe, _just maybe_ , she’d said something to Diggle to indicate that she’d be back soon. 

“I’m going to squeeze in a workout. Good job today, Dig.” 

“You too, Oliver. I’m gonna head out.” 

Oliver watched his teammate go and once he was alone in the Foundry once more, Oliver pulled his shirt off over his head and set to work beating his practice dummy and pushing himself to go as fast as he could on the salmon ladder. Working out, while its own release, lacked the same pizazz it usually held when he was working out in front of Felicity, however. He was always aware of the weight of her gaze on him when his back was turned and he couldn’t deny that it put a feather in his cap to watch her watching him.

But right about now, she was probably making eyes at Barry-the-human-beanpole-Allen and watching his every move instead of being here in Starling City to watch every move of Oliver’s. A rush of almost ferocious rage reared within him and his escrima stick shattered, splinters flying as he brought it down with particular force on the pole he’d been practicing on. His chest heaved with the rage he’d been trying (and failing) to ignore.

He’d missed his shot. For roughly a year, he’d had her at his side, day in and day out and he’d failed to act on the growing attraction he felt towards her and now? Now he’d lost her to the geeky twig living in the city six hundred miles away. It was his own fault. Logically, Oliver knew that. But emotionally? It felt a hell of a lot better to be mad at and to blame Barry than it did to blame purely himself. 

He had just finished picking up the wooden remains of the broken escrima stick when a persistent buzzing drew his attention to Felicity’s workstation. He’d left his phone at her desk, what with it being unoccupied and all. He crossed the Foundry now to see it and found that the screen was lit up as he received a call from an unknown number boasting a Central City area code. His hackles raised almost on principle but he answered swiftly, his voice a low growl. 

“Hello,” he grunted none too kindly. There was a moment’s hesitation on the other end of the line before a stammered response answered him. 

“Umm… H-Hello. Is this… Is this Oliver Queen?”

“Who’s asking?” 

“This is Doctor Ambres from the Central City Hospital. You were listed as the emergency contact for a patient of ours,” the voice on the other end of the phone explained and Oliver blanched. 

“Barry Allen has me as his fucking _emergency contact?_ ” Oliver groused in disbelief, his sense of rage building once more. But just as suddenly as it roared up within him, it quickly went out.

“B-Barry Allen? Umm no, I’m calling on behalf of one ‘Felicity Smoak’; she was brought into the ER earlier this evening for injuries sustained when she was struck by lightning during tonight’s storm.” 

Oliver fell silent, his brain nearly short circuiting. 

His initial reaction was one of complete and utter surprise - the good kind of surprise. Felicity had listed him as her emergency contact? Felicity had chosen _him_ \- the green leather wearing vigilante who ran around shooting arrows and evading bullets - to be the person she wanted called in the unlikely event that she was hurt. The trust she must have in him was profound and he was practically speechless at the possible implications of this. She’d never breathed a word to him of this; he’d had no clue. 

His second, much more overpowering reaction, was one of total dismay and worry. Felicity had been brought to the _emergency room?_ That fact alone was bad enough but by the time the rest of the doctor’s sentence had registered, Oliver was afraid his heart might stop beating. 

She’d been _struck by lightning?_

“S-She was… She was struck by lightning? I-Is she okay? Please, tell me she’s alright.” 

“Mister Queen, Miss Smoak is in critical condition; as you can imagine, her injuries from the lightning strike are severe. What’s more, we’re experiencing rolling blackouts and she is continuing to go into cardiac arrest. She hasn’t regained consciousness and we are very concerned about her prognosis at this point.” 

“What… What does that mean? And don’t sugarcoat it.” 

“The next twenty four to forty eight hours will be touch and go; her odds of survival are slim if we can’t stabilize her heart. You...should probably prepare yourself, just in case.” 

Oliver felt as though the world had bottomed out beneath him. Prepare himself? Prepare himself to _lose Felicity?_ That was… that was… _unthinkable._ No. He didn’t accept this. He refused to. 

“I’m on my way to the hospital. I want every effort made to save her. No expense is to be spared. Do I make myself clear?” 

“Mister Queen, I can assure you that we are working very hard t-”

“I don’t want your ‘very hard’; I want your best. Do you hear me? If there’s a specialist somewhere, call them. I’ll pay to get them there. You just… Just _keep her alive, damn it!”_

\-----

He had driven like a man possessed. 

Which, in truth, he had been. He’d left the Foundry in such a hurry, he’d nearly forgotten to change out of his leathers. He’d actually opened the door to the main floor of Verdant and nearly stepped foot outside before he’d realized. He’d hurried back into the Foundry and hastily changed into his plainclothes but the fact remained, he was hardly in his best frame of mind. 

Central City was six hundred miles away. If he tried to drive there like this, he’d probably get himself killed while absolutely shattering the speed limit. There was the train, but that wasn’t nearly fast enough for his liking. So he’d called the airfield and told them to ready the private jet. 

Oliver Queen was flying to Central City. _Tonight._

He’d pulled up to the airstrip in a squeal of tires and had thrown his keys to the first employee he saw. Ordinarily these days, he tried to behave at least a little less like the entitled, rich ass that he’d once been. But right now? He couldn’t help himself. His focus and his concern rested squarely on getting to Central City as fast as possible and he didn’t care what it cost him - in dollars or in hits to his reputation. All that mattered was getting to Felicity’s bedside. 

As soon as he was safely ensconced inside the jet, he set about researching lightning strikes and their associated injuries. He was so engrossed in his work, he hardly noticed the jet taking off. What he read was hardly encouraging; the mental image of Felicity suffering any one of these issues - let alone multiple - was the stuff of nightmares. 

_Cardiac arrest. Respiratory arrest. Neurological disruption. Blunt trauma injuries. Soft tissue trauma. Internal organ damage. Burns. Comas. Headaches. Seizures. Reduced cognitive abilities._

The words swam before his eyes and Oliver felt his heart stutter and then race as his anxiety and worry for Felicity grew. Assuming she was still alive by the time he touched down in Central City, she was in for the fight of her life. And if he had anything to say about it, she was going to have the best team that money could buy at her side for it. 

And him. He’d be there, at her side, every step of the way. Not that he counted for much.

He started calling around once they’d reached cruising altitude. He made it known that Oliver Queen would pay handsomely for the best damn team of Neuro Specialists and Thoracic Medicine Specialists that money could buy to converge on Central City Hospital posthaste.

Once he had exhausted himself researching lightning injuries and reaching out to medical personnel around the country, Oliver turned to the news as a means of distraction for the remainder of the flight. But instead of distraction, he found only further sources of concern. 

The very scientific device that Felicity had supposedly been so excited to see turn on had in fact, been turned on for less than an hour before it had spiraled out of control, resulting in a massive explosion. From the news headlines, Central City was in turmoil as hospitals took in victims of the accident, and fire crews battled the blaze at STAR Labs. Police were on scene investigating but already, nearly half a dozen deaths had been reported with countless more injured. 

Was it lightning that had struck Felicity? Or was it something to do with this damnable science experiment gone wrong? Oliver felt his stomach twist nervously at the very thought of her name being added to the death toll. 

“No,” he said aloud suddenly and with far more confidence than he in fact felt. “She’s going to pull through this.” 

At that moment, his phone vibrated and the screen lit up as he received another call, this time from a number his phone recognized. 

> _**BARRY ALLEN** _

Right away, Oliver was on edge. He gritted his teeth but quickly picked up the phone, sliding the icon to answer the call despite the burning desire to let it ring. 

“Queen.” 

“Uhh hey. Oliver. This is Barry. Umm… Allen. From Central City?” 

“I know who you are, Barry. Why are you calling me?” 

“Well umm… Felicity she, she came to Central City-”

“I’m aware.” 

“Okay well... she was in my lab - with me - _we_ were in my lab, and then the power went out a-and t-then there was this loud boom of thunder and the next thing I knew, the skylight crashed in and lightning had hit and Felicity, she was standing right there under it so she got hit. By the lightning, not the glass, although she did get showered in that too, actually-”

“BARRY! Focus!” Oliver shouted, not bothering to temper the rage in his tone. 

“Right! Sorry. She’s at the hospital now but I just thought you should maybe know…” Barry trailed off lamely and Oliver pinched the bridge of his nose as he took a deep breath and tried not to snap at the younger man for a second time. 

“I know, Barry.” 

“You… You _know_?”

“I got a call from the hospital a while ago. I’m on my way to Central City already.” 

“The hospital called you?” 

“I’m sorry, is there an echo in here? Yes, that’s what I said. Felicity has me listed as her emergency contact. When she was brought in, they called me to tell me what had happened. So I’m en route now. I should be touching down in-” he paused and checked his watch “-the next fifteen minutes, actually. I’ll head straight for the hospital.” 

“Y-You’re her emergency contact?” 

“Again with the echo.” 

“Sorry! It’s just I… I didn’t realize you two were… y’know.” 

“No actually, I’m pretty sure I don’t know what you’re getting at. So please Barry, unless you have something useful to add, I’m going to hang up now.” 

“Okay I’m sorry, hold on!” Barry exclaimed suddenly and Oliver paused, giving the kid a moment more of his time. It wasn’t like he could go anywhere just yet anyway. “Umm. I was with her - Felicity, that is - when it umm… happened. And Oliver, there was something really _weird_ going on.” 

“Weird how?” 

“Well, we could see the particle accelerator explosion at STAR Labs. And there was this… this _energy wave_ that knocked out the power to the entire city. And then it was like all the liquid matter started to float - I watched all the liquids in my lab just rise up right out of their bottles and containers as if they were in outer space. And then _BOOM!_ ” 

“Boom? I’m going to need you to be a little more specific here, Barry.” 

“Well… the lightning hit. And it blew Felicity into the shelves, knocking over all the chemicals. And I ran to her and… Oliver, I could _see_ trails of electricity running under her skin for a few minutes after the lightning strike, like she was one of those weird glow in the dark fish or something.” 

By this point, Oliver was breathing as slowly as he could, in and out of his nose. The very mental image of the events Barry had described set him on edge. God, he hoped she was alright. After a spell, Oliver realized neither he nor Barry had said anything and he cleared his throat in an attempt to regain control of his emotions. 

“And you told all of this to the doctors, right?” 

“Well… Not exactly.”

“What do you mean ‘not exactly’? It’s a yes or no question, Barry!” 

“Well, I’m not actually _at_ the hospital, see?” 

“What?!” Oliver snapped, his voice a feral growl; he could hear the rush of blood in his own ears and his fingers had coiled into a tight fist that now shook with rage. 

“Well, I _would_ have gone with her but the department needed me working the scene of the particle accelerator explosion so I’m actually working at the explosion site over at STAR Labs. I can head to the hospital as soon as I’m done here though!” 

“Oh well thanks, that makes me feel so good to know that you’ll get around to going over there _eventually_ ,” Oliver snapped tersely, positively seething with rage at this point. “Listen, I just need to know if there’s anything else about the accident that I should pass along to her doctors?” 

“She was exposed to a lot of pretty intense chemicals when she got blown into the shelves. They might want to check her over for chemical burns and she might have inhaled some pretty toxic fumes…” Barry trailed off sheepishly and Oliver felt something inside him snap. 

“And you’ve been sitting on that information this whole time?! For fuck’s sake, Barry, she’s been going in and out of cardiac arrest! Get the hospital a list of all of those chemicals _now_ or so help me-.”

“Okay! Okay, I got it!” Barry yelped and Oliver shook his head as he punched the arm of his chair vigorously once and then twice. Silence grew across the phone line and then, quietly, Oliver heard: 

“Oliver listen, I’m really sorry-”

“I don’t want your apologies, Barry. Save it for someone who cares,” Oliver snapped before he smashed the ‘END CALL’ button and threw his phone at the chair opposite his own. 

Fucking Barry Allen. 

Fortunately, Oliver didn’t have long to dwell on Barry, as the jet touched down at the Central City airfield. A car was waiting for him, as he’d arranged, and in short order, Oliver was hurtling across the city, bound for Central City Hospital. Even as the driver sped through the rainy city streets, Oliver could feel his anxiety on the rise. No news was supposed to be good news, right? And he’d had no news of Felicity’s prognosis since the initial call from the hospital. 

And then his phone rang. 

\-----

The car hadn’t even come to a complete stop before Oliver had leaped out of it. He ran into the hospital and across the crowded emergency room, elbowing his way through the throngs of people to the help desk. 

“I’m looking for Room 520 of the ICU,” Oliver explained breathlessly to the waiting hospital employee, who eyed him with a raised brow. 

“Take the stairs to the fifth floor and follow the signs for the ICU. It’s in the northeast block of the building.” 

“Stairs?” Oliver queried, glancing around, unsure where to locate them. 

By way of response, the young man in question pointed at a hastily printed sign on a sheet of computer paper taped to the help desk. Oliver’s eyes followed the point and read the message hastily. 

_DUE TO ROLLING BLACKOUTS, ALL ELEVATORS ARE OUT SERVICE UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE. WE APOLOGIZE FOR THIS INCONVENIENCE_

“Yeah, that’s great. _Where_ are the stairs?!” Oliver growled irritably and the man’s eyes popped open in surprise. 

“Umm, that way,” he pointed hurriedly and Oliver took off without another word, trotting across the room and into the belly of the hospital. He threw open the staircase door and took the steps two at a time as he flew up floor after floor, counting in his head as he went. 

When he burst out the door onto the fifth floor, he was out of breath and panicked but he didn’t stop. He was so close now; before him, the ICU nurse’s station loomed, manned by a handful of frantic, exhausted looking nurses.

“I’m looking for Felicity Smoak? My name is Oliver Queen, I’m her emergency contact.” 

At that moment, all the lights in the building gave a flicker and the nurses all tensed and looked around worriedly. After another few seconds, however, the power seemed to stabilize and the trio of women relaxed visibly. 

“This way, Mister Queen. We’ve been expecting you. The specialist you sent for is already here.” 

At that, Oliver blanched in shock and a hefty dose of concern. If a specialist had arrived and waited around… more than likely that meant their services were going to be required - which meant that Felicity was in poor shape, indeed. 

“Which umm… Which specialist is here?” he asked softly but before the nurse could answer, another, vaguely familiar voice interrupted. 

“That would be me. Thank you, Nurse,” the ‘specialist’ dismissed her with a wave of his hand and Oliver watched as the woman hustled back to the nurse’s station, leaving him alone with the man who was still facing away from Oliver. 

“And you are?” 

“About to tell you something you aren’t prepared to hear. But I need you to hear me out anyway.” 

_Fuck._ That sounded bad. Really bad.

“Listen, I just need to know whether or not she’s going to be okay. Then you can hit me with the rest of it but please… I just need to know she’s going to pull through this,” Oliver choked out, his fear and his hurt making his voice crack, up until he heard the specialist actually _chuckle_ at him.

“Depends on your definition of ‘okay’, I suppose. But yes, she’ll survive this, Oliver. But when she wakes up, she’s going to be a different woman than the one that you knew before.” 

“What the hell kind of diagnosis is that? And… _who are you?!”_ Oliver groused irritably, only for the man in question to spin to face him. 

“Barry? I thought you were stuck at some crime scene… What are you playing at?!” Oliver growled through gritted teeth. But even as he stared at the man before him, he was picking up on subtle differences from the man he’d seen just hours ago in Starling City. He looked older, more haggard, and _angry_. A far cry from the boyish, puppy eyed dope Oliver was acquainted with. 

“Good to see you too, Oliver,” Barry responded dryly, gesturing towards a nearby door with a tilt of his head. “Let’s talk.” 

Oliver bristled but followed after him as Barry pushed open the door in question. Oliver’s attention shifted instantly, however, when he realized that the room they were entering was in fact, _Felicity’s room._

She was tucked into the bed before him, her skin pale and her lips ashen; her blonde hair was splayed across the pillows and with distress, he saw it was still flecked with blood. In fact, much of her hair was still showing some static frizz from her electrifying experience earlier in the evening. Her arms rested atop the white hospital blankets and as he looked, he saw what looked almost like burns patterned on them.

“Oh god… _Felicity_ ,” Oliver choked out, pushing past Barry to collapse onto his knees at her bedside. His hands hovered over her, too afraid of hurting her to actually touch the almost translucently pale skin before him. She looked so… so _small._ And so so so _vulnerable._

“Oliver, I know this is hard for you to process but I really need you to focus for a minute,” Barry interrupted and Oliver whipped his head up to look at the other man, borderline apoplectic with rage. 

“Scram, Barry.” 

“Believe me, I’d love to,” Barry muttered and Oliver narrowed his eyes at the man, rising back onto his feet with every intention of wringing his neck. Catching sight of this, Barry held his hands before him, suddenly wide eyed and nervous. “Sorry, not the point. Listen, I know you’re upset but I need to explain some things and like I said, it’s going to be hard for you to accept.” 

“The only reason that I am not snapping you in two right now is because Felicity likes you. So talk. And make it fast. Then when you’re done talking, you’re going to _leave_.” 

“Fair enough!” Barry nearly yelped, still holding his hands aloft. “So see, here’s the thing… I’m not the Barry you know. I mean, I _am_ , but I’m sort of from the future, see? So I’m not _your_ Barry, per se, but I am in that I’m from this earth - do you know about the multiverse yet? Probably not, anyway the point is-”

“I’m sorry… Did you hit your head in the same accident when Felicity was struck?” Oliver interrupted, feeling confused and irascible and not particularly patient. 

“Haha, good one. No see, it’s true. Really. You see, the particle accelerator explosion tonight? It released this dark matter energy wave. And it affected _so many_ people. Thousands, in fact. Myself included. But in _my_ timeline, _I_ get hit by the lightning bolt tonight - not Felicity. And I go on to develop… powers, we’ll say. Well, _after_ the nine month coma, that is.” 

“WHAT?!” Oliver yelped, only to be dismissed with a wave from Barry. 

“Minor detail, I was fine when I woke up, which means she should be too! So… good news! Anyway, I use my powers to help people! You actually are the one who helps me to help people using my powers. You sort of teach me the whole… hero ropes,” Barry smiled nervously, only to receive a stony glare from Oliver. 

“Why would I do that?” Oliver queried and Barry’s smile faltered.

“Well because… we’re like… y’know… _Friends_.” 

“Of everything you’ve said so far, that right there? _That_ is the most improbable.” 

“Oh come on. More improbable than time travel or people with powers?” Barry tried to tease and Oliver merely returned his teasing with an apathetic look.

“I survived five years on a hellish island and I saw a lot of crazy shit. Including magic. Time travel and inhuman power are hardly the things that are going to blow my mind, Barry.” 

“Wait, _magic?_ ” Barry blinked at Oliver, stupefied. 

“Barry, _focus_ ,” Oliver barked and Barry startled, flustered as he tried to retrace his thoughts. 

“Right! So… See, the thing is, a lot of people who got their powers tonight - metahumans, we call them - they go on to use them for selfish reasons. And they hurt people with them. And I… I spend so much of my life just trying to stop them. And then I realized, I have this gift. And I have been using it this whole time to _react_ instead of using it to act _first_. If these people never get their powers, they can’t hurt anyone with them. And then I… I get my life back. I don’t have to chase after them week after week. So I traveled back in time. To tonight. I thought if I could control the energy wave from the explosion, I could control who got powers and who didn’t. But the thing is… I needed help. I needed an algorithm, a really complicated one, able to handle a ton of data all at once. And I needed someone who was smart enough to do on the fly coding with a tremendous amount of data like that.” 

“You needed Felicity,” Oliver interjected and Barry nodded. 

“I did. So I called her and asked her to come here tonight.” 

“So that was you - future you, not present you - who asked her here tonight?” 

“Right.” 

The selfish part of Oliver was overjoyed; this hadn’t been some romantic gesture or interlude then. Future Barry here had only asked Felicity here to aid him in his little time travel muck about. But the better part of Oliver was _furious_ ; because of this future Barry’s meddling, Felicity had unwittingly placed herself in danger that she would otherwise have avoided. 

This was entirely Barry’s fault. She was in this hospital bed because of _him._

Wordlessly, Oliver walked across the room so he stood face to face with Barry, his body tensed like a coiled spring. 

“Felicity got hurt tonight because you traveled back in time to what… make your life _easier?_ You’re messing with people’s lives, Barry! And you’re telling me you had the chance to _prevent_ that explosion and you didn’t take it?”

“Well, then I wouldn’t have gotten my powers,” Barry tried to explain, only for Oliver to cut him off.

“PEOPLE DIED, BARRY!” Oliver roared and Barry cringed but then pointed at Felicity weakly.

“But not Felicity!”

Oliver growled and grabbed two fistfuls of Barry’s shirt as he threw him against the wall. That, however, seemed to loosen up Barry’s mouth a bit. 

“She wasn’t supposed to get hurt, Oliver! Trust me, I didn’t want this to happen. I just needed her to do the coding and then she was supposed to go home. No harm, no foul!” Barry rambled frantically. Oliver glowered at him but slowly let him go, watching as Barry stepped hesitantly away from him and smoothed his rumpled shirt. Taking a breath, he looked to Oliver and spoke again. “I really didn’t mean for this to happen, Oliver. Now _she’s_ going to get _my_ powers! I’m going to be _stuck here_ because she got struck instead of me! I’m not happy about it either!” 

Oliver couldn’t take it any longer. He knew Felicity wouldn’t want him to do it but she was a better person than he was. And he had far surpassed his maximum capacity for bullshit. With a quick movement, his arm coiled back and released, his fist connecting solidly with Barry’s left cheekbone.The heavy ‘ _crack’_ of his fist hitting Barry was immensely satisfying but even more so was the _‘thud’_ of Barry hitting the floor a moment later. 

“For someone from the future, you sure didn’t see that one coming,” Oliver grunted over Barry’s prone figure, shaking his head in total disgust. 


	2. Chapter 2

With the Barry of the future out cold on the floor of the hospital room, Oliver was finally able to focus his attention fully on the woman whose plight had brought him rushing in the dark of night to be at her bedside. Felicity was still unconscious and as Oliver seated himself beside her once more, it was all he could do to keep his shit together. 

A few weeks ago, he’d looked her in the eyes and told her that because of the life he led, he thought it was better to not be with someone that he could really care about. He’d actually had the fucking _audacity_ to say it to her, even knowing that he _already_ really cared about someone. Someone he knew he was completely undeserving of. 

Her. 

And now? Now she was lying here in this hospital bed, unconscious, with wounds that she might never recover from. And those words, that hurt, would be one of his last interactions with her. It was almost more than he could bear. With shaking hands, he took her right hand in both of his, his thumb caressing her bloodied knuckles tenderly. 

“Felicity,” he murmured her name reverently, his voice cracking halfway through it as tears sprang to his eyes. He bowed his head, trying to blink away the tears without success. He was still fighting the tidal wave of emotions roaring through him when all the machines at Felicity’s bedside began to go haywire and a shrill alarm rang out through the room. Oliver’s heart stuttered and he felt panic rip him apart at the seams. 

“I NEED SOME HELP IN HERE!” roared Oliver, glancing around sharply, desperation and terror closing off his throat as he looked back to Felicity. Beneath her skin, tendrils of white light fanned out, illuminating her from the inside out. Unbidden, the memory of his earlier phone conversation with Barry sprang to mind. 

_I could see trails of electricity running under her skin_

At the time, Oliver hadn’t thought much of it. But now, some hours after her accident, the fact that Felicity was _still_ displaying this phenomenon? Well… It certainly lent some credence to the whole ‘developing powers’ story that the version of Barry currently unconscious on the floor had tried to sell him on. 

“Please, Felicity. Hold on. _Fight_. I was wrong. About so many things. Please. Don’t give up. I-...I need you. If you can hear me… _Fight_. Come back to me.” 

Even as Oliver uttered the words, he heard the door to the room burst open as the medical team rushed in. Before they could sweep him aside, however, the hospital room was suddenly plunged into total darkness and Oliver was left clinging desperately to Felicity’s hand as he silently pleaded with her to stay with him. 

He had endured much in his life. But he was quite certain that one thing he _could not_ endure was losing Felicity Smoak. 

“Sir, please step aside!” 

“She’s flatlining again, we need to start compressions!” 

“Push Epinephrine, stat!” 

\-----

“WAIT!” 

The chaotic motion of the doctors in the dark ground to a screeching halt as Barry staggered to his feet in the sparse light coming in through the rain splattered windows. He could just barely make out Oliver, still standing at Felicity’s bedside, and the troupe of doctors and nurses that had come rushing in when the heart monitor had presumably gone haywire.

Barry remembered Wells explaining this to him when he had first awoken from the coma. How the hospital staff had reacted to Barry’s repeated ‘cardiac arrest’ episodes and how his burgeoning powers had interfered with the hospital’s power grid. Everything was happening just as Wells had described it to him; the one difference was that it was happening with _Felicity_ instead of Barry. 

“She’s not in cardiac arrest. You can stop pumping her full of Epinephrine and doing compressions every time the machine reads asystole,” Barry advised, gingerly touching his left cheek as he approached Oliver, more than a little wary. The dude had a killer right hook. He’d known it before but it was one thing to experience with rapid regenerative powers and another thing entirely to experience it as just a normal, non-rapid healing guy. Already, he could feel the beginning of a serious bruise and some gnarly swelling.

“I beg to differ-” one of the doctors began, only for Barry to cut him short. 

“If her heart had _actually_ gone into cardiac arrest this many times in one evening, it would have given out by now. You’ve been pumping her so full of Epinephrine, you could resuscitate a small city with the amount of it in her system at this point. Look - you see that? Her chest is rising and falling. She’s breathing. The issue isn’t with her heart, it’s with the equipment. Have you noticed that every time she goes into ‘cardiac arrest’, a blackout follows?” Barry pointed out and the doctors seemed to, as one, grow still. “It’s because these power surges have messed with your equipment. She’s fine, but she won’t be if you keep putting her body through this.” Barry explained, holding his hands out before him as if to keep the doctors at bay. “Please just… wait a second. You’ll see. When the power comes back on, her heart rate will be normal.” 

“Barry,” Oliver ground out through clenched teeth and the time traveler turned to look at him, suddenly nervous. 

“Oliver, trust me-”

“Fat chance of that,” Oliver shot back sharply and Barry could only roll his eyes at the other man’s obvious suspicion of him.

“Come on. If you don’t trust me, trust that I want to go back. And if she dies? I never will. If you don’t trust me, at least trust that I want to get home. _To my time,_ ” Barry added in a whisper. 

Oliver’s jaw tensed and his eyes flashed as he shot Barry a withering stare. 

“ _That_ is your motivation? Not the fact that she’s a _good person_ who _deserves_ your help? Not the fact that you two are friends? Not the fact that you and _I_ are supposedly friends?” Oliver whispered with lethal fury and Barry winced and rubbed the back of his neck.

“Please don’t punch me again.” 

Before Oliver could decide whether or not to trust in Barry, however, the lights flickered and then came flooding back to life. Oliver and the rest of the room’s occupants blinked at one another in bleary eyed bewilderment. Barry focused his attention on the monitor at Felicity’s bedside, which now showed regular peaks and valleys and no longer blared the alarm. 

“See?! I told you guys. Totally a machine error,” Barry chuckled with unease as the doctors did a cursory examination of Felicity before filing out of the room, leaving Oliver and Barry alone with the still unconscious blonde. 

“Trust me now?” Barry chirped brightly, only for Oliver to glower at him hotly. 

“This doesn’t change anything. I don’t like you and I definitely don’t trust you. And if you do anything else to put Felicity in danger, then it won’t matter if you get your powers back or not, because I will kill you with my bare hands. Do I make myself clear?” 

“C-Crystal,” Barry stammered back weakly and Oliver exhaled heavily. 

“Good. Now explain what the hell is happening to her and then get the hell out of my sight before you say or do something to make me punch you again.” 

“O-kay,” Barry shuffled a few steps and placed himself on the opposite side of Felicity’s bed. “Here’s the thing: she really isn’t in cardiac arrest, I wasn’t lying about that. But… it isn’t strictly a machine error that’s causing it to seem as if she is. The thing is… Her heart is just beating too fast for the machines to detect.” 

“How is that possible?” Oliver queried as he sank back into his chair, one hand running through his hair as the other gripped railing of Felicity's bed and he cast his eyes to her, his eyes glowing with worry. It was a small, subtle thing but Barry could see the deep reservoir of tenderness that the action bespoke of.

“Well… remember those powers I mentioned?” 

“Vividly.” 

“So… If the same thing happens to her as happened to me? Then...Umm…Well...” 

“For the love of God, Barry. Spit it out!” 

“Felicity may wake up as the fastest woman on Earth.” 

“...Explain.” 

“I mean… She might have superhuman speed. If her powers are the same as mine, she’ll be able to run up the side of a building. She’ll be so fast, she’ll be a blur if she’s even visible to the human eye at all.” 

“She’ll be fast.” 

“ _Really_ fast.” 

“How fast?” 

“Fast enough to actually run back in time and change history, if she wanted to,” Barry explained weakly and Oliver’s head snapped up, his eyes boring into Barry’s. 

“ _That’s_ what you did? You… You _ran backwards in time?”_

“Guilty,” Barry chortled and Oliver scowled at him darkly. 

“I don’t see anything funny about this situation.” 

“No, right, of course,” Barry sobered quickly, glancing down at Felicity. “So umm, the good news is, even if the doctors don’t listen to me and they resume doing compressions on her and loading her up with drugs, she may now also have another ‘power’ if you will, of rapid cellular regeneration. So the drugs won’t have any effect on her and even if the compressions were to break a rib or something, she’d heal so quickly, it wouldn’t even be a problem.” 

“Oh well, in that case we can rest easy!” Oliver hissed sarcastically and Barry shrank away uneasily. 

“I umm… I’m not really sure how long it will take but I ah, placed a call to some people who should be able to help,” Barry added. “They’re STAR Labs employees and in the future, they’re part of Team Flash.” 

“What is ‘Team Flash’?” Oliver groused and Barry brightened, his chest puffing out proudly. 

“That’s ah… My team. I’m The Flash. And together we’re ‘Team Flash’.” 

“Your… Your codename is ‘The Flash’?” Oliver was suddenly biting back laughter and right away, Barry appeared defensive.

“Hey listen, it’s a lot better than ‘The Streak’ or ‘The Blur’, okay?” 

“Yeah, no totally. Much better to be ‘Team Flash’. Because that _totally_ sounds like a hero name and definitely does _not_ sound like a group of flashers who just go around exposing themselves to people. Mhmm,” Oliver nodded, still biting back raucous laughter. 

“Come on man, seriously? Like ‘Team Arrow’ is any better?” Barry sighed heavily and Oliver snorted derisively. 

“Are we talking about the team itself or the name? Because the answer is a resounding ‘Yes’ on both counts,” Oliver retaliated brusquely. 

“Okay, seriously? Come on man, I’ve taken a lot of abuse from you tonight, can you just… lay off?” 

“ _You’ve_ taken a lot of abuse? Barry, Felicity is lying there in a coma which - if you are to be believed - she will be in for _nine months_ because of what you’ve done. If _anyone_ here has taken a lot of abuse, it’s _her._ And I may be able to tolerate a lot of things-”

“Eh,” Barry winced in protest and Oliver took a deep breath. 

“-Okay, I tolerate _some_ things,” Oliver corrected, his voice quieting into a grumble of complaint and Barry nodded with a shrug, “but Felicity taking abuse of any kind? That I _cannot_ and _will not_ tolerate.”

“Man. You’ve really got it bad for her already,” Barry remarked in an undertone and Oliver froze, staring at the other man in bewilderment. A solid ten seconds passed in total silence between the two before Oliver managed a stammered reply.

“W-What did you just say?” 

“Nothing, sorry, don’t get mad again, geez,” Barry huffed, shaking his head as he folded his arms before him to regard Felicity. “Listen I’ve told you everything pertinent that I know. She really should be fine, I swear. I’d guess that at some point in the next few days, you’ll meet the STAR Labs folks. Umm… Their names are Caitlin Snow, Cisco Ramon, and Harrison Wells. You can trust Caitlin and Cisco.” 

At this, Oliver cocked his head to the side, surveying Barry with an intent, ponderous look. 

“And this ‘Harrison Wells’ guy?” 

Barry paused and bit his lower lip, not wanting to give away too much, but also not wanting to leave Felicity vulnerable to Eobard and his machinations. Then again… if Barry didn’t have his powers now, _was_ there even an Eobard in this timeline? If Barry didn’t have his powers, he didn’t become The Flash. And if there was no Flash, then Eobard would never travel back in time and kill this Earth’s Harrison Wells and…

...and just trying to wrap his mind around it all was making his head hurt. It was entirely possible there was no Eobard Thawne now that he had altered the future so drastically. But Barry couldn’t just assume that Harrison Wells was trustworthy either. Caitlin and Cisco were the only sure thing, as far as Barry was concerned. 

“Like I said. You can trust Caitlin and Cisco. Just… do me a favor and don’t say my name to _any_ of them, just in case. For Felicity’s sake,” Barry added hurriedly when Oliver shot him a dark frown. “And when they ask you to let them bring her to STAR Labs… Do it. They’re the only ones who will be able to take care of her until she wakes up.” 

And before Oliver could say or do anything to stop him, Barry walked briskly out of Felicity’s hospital room and disappeared. 

\-----

“Oliver. Wake up, man.” 

Blinking, Oliver sat up suddenly and looked around in bleary eyed confusion. After a few moments, Diggle came into focus in the doorway of Felicity’s room, where he stood glowering. With a sigh, Oliver ran a hand through his hair and then stretched his sore body before he focused his attention on Diggle once more. 

“I was wondering how long it would take you to show up.” 

“I would have been here sooner if you would have taken a second to call me before you booked the family jet and took off without a word of warning to any of your family or your team.” 

“There wasn’t time, Dig.” 

“Really man? You have a private jet and crew on retainer and you’re telling me you couldn’t ask someone to call your mom or your sister or me to let us know you were taking off to come here? You know how bad this makes me look as your bodyguard, to have to find out from the pilot that you flew to Central City _without me?_ ” 

“It didn’t seem important at the time,” Oliver confessed and a shadow fell across his face as he recalled his terror stricken flight from Starling to Central City. “It was Felicity, Dig. Nothing else mattered but getting here. For her.” 

At this, Diggle fell quiet, his eyes flitting from Oliver to the still figure lying in the bed at the center of the room. After a moment, the older man nodded and quietly came to stand alongside Oliver, clapping him on the back with one large hand. 

“Listen Oliver. She’s my friend too. I could have been here - for both of you. Next time? Pick up the damn phone and call me,” Diggle murmured before giving Oliver’s shoulder a supportive squeeze. “So… what are the doctors saying?” 

“She’s in a coma. They don’t know when - or if - she’ll wake up.” 

“She’s going to pull through this, Oliver.” 

“I know she is,” Oliver responded, his voice quiet but filled with conviction. “That’s not what I’m worried about, Dig.” 

At this, the other man’s brows rose in surprise, clearly taken aback to hear that Oliver wasn’t worried about Felicity waking up. That was plainly not the answer he’d been expecting. 

“So what _are_ you worried about?” 

Oliver fell silent, mulling over the absolutely insane story he’d been fed by the supposed future version of Barry Allen. Was he scared of Felicity waking up from this coma nine months from now with the power of superhuman speed? Sure. But was that what he was _most_ worried about? 

No. 

“I said when I brought her into all of this that we could protect her. And I failed. She almost died, Dig. And that would have been on me.” 

“Oliver man, none of this is on you. Freak things like this, they just happen. Doesn’t make it anyone’s fault. This? This had nothing to do with you being the _you know what_. This was a fluke thing. You can’t just put her in a bubble and hide her away from the world, Oliver. Felicity is a grown woman. She made a choice to come here and to help a friend. You didn’t cause that lightning bolt to hit her. It’s just bad luck. That’s life, Oliver. Things happen sometimes and there’s no rhyme, no reason, and there’s no preventing it.” 

“But Dig… What was the point of it, of _any_ of it, if we can’t keep her safe?” Oliver asked, turning his gaze to his friend, anguish in his eyes. 

“Oliver-” Diggle began but Oliver cut him off.

“I’m not going back. I can’t just leave her here.” 

Diggle fell silent and Oliver could feel the older man’s eyes on him, studying him in that keen way of his. John Diggle had a way of looking not just _at_ Oliver, but _through_ him and if Oliver was a betting man, he’d wager that even now, Diggle was trying to make sense of the knots that Oliver was tied up in. 

“We can ask about having her transferred back to Starling,” Diggle began gently and Oliver shook his head, his expression stony as he reached forward and took Felicity’s hand in his.

“She can’t go back to Starling. And I can’t leave her.” 

Almost at once, the monitor at the head of Felicity’s bed went haywire and Oliver’s eyes lifted to it anxiously, the contours of his face painted in shades of dread as he saw the flatline marching horizontally across the screen. 

After a few seconds of the shrill alarm, the room crackled as all the electricity went out at once; thankfully, daylight streamed in through the window, lighting the space far better than the night before when this same scene had played out.

“I’ll get help!” Diggle announced and Oliver felt his chest tighten as he was faced with the sudden decision of having to trust in and believe what Barry had told him - or not. 

“Wait!” Oliver threw out a hand, grabbing Diggle by the arm and stopping him dead in his tracks. “Just wait,” Oliver murmured, turning his gaze back to Felicity as he relinquished his hold on Diggle. Reaching forward, he stroked his fingers across her forehead, staring tenderly down at her. 

“Felicity, if you can hear me… Just slow down, alright? If you can hear me just… Tell your heart to calm down in there.” 

A few long seconds ticked by and Oliver could sense Diggle’s growing distress and then, without warning, the lights came back on and with them, Felicity’s monitor returned to a more normal looking heart rate, the flatline mysteriously vanished. 

“What in the hell is going on here, Oliver?” Diggle gasped as he looked from Felicity’s unconscious figure to Oliver. 

“You better pull up a chair, Dig. This one’s a doozy. Even by our standards…” 

Diggle proved to be somewhat less willing to accept the story that Oliver proceeded to tell him. In fairness, Oliver had had more time (and more unusual past experiences) to help him accept the idea. Lacking that, Diggle was somewhat resistant. 

“Oliver, you cannot really tell me you believe this. I have seen and heard some crazy stuff in my day but this? Come on. Time travel? Superhuman powers?” 

“Do you have a better explanation, Diggle?” 

“She got struck by lightning and is still recovering. You are upset and stressed and losing it a little, so you cooked up this cockamamie story to help you cope with your feelings.” 

“My feelings? What feelings would those even be? Dig, this has nothing to do with me!” 

“Oliver man this has _everything_ to do with you and your feelings!” 

Before the two could go any further, however, the sound of a man clearing his throat drew their attention away and both men turned to find a duo of men in the doorway, staring at them expectantly.

“Sorry to interrupt… We’re from STAR Labs. My name is Cisco Ramon and this is Doctor Harrison Wells… We’re here because we’d like to discuss Miss Smoak’s condition and future care?” 

At this, Diggle’s gaze sidled to make eye contact with Oliver and the bodyguard swallowed nervously even as Oliver shook his head, looking almost resigned. 

“Did my ‘feelings’ also predict that, or are you starting to believe me now, Dig?” Oliver muttered as he rose to his feet and came to stand between Felicity and the newcomers, his arms crossed before him defensively. ‘Future Barry’, as Oliver had been referring to him in his mind, had warned him that this would happen - here, as predicted, were the STAR Labs folks, come to whisk Felicity off into their care.

Oliver listened woodenly as Cisco and Wells spoke; the younger man was obviously trying to downplay his own enthusiasm, whereas the older was more calculated in every word he said. The two spoke at length about what was happening to Felicity, echoing the very diagnosis that Future Barry had offered up previously. 

Having heard it all already, Oliver could only nod along distantly as the two men spoke of the speed of Felicity’s heart rate, of how she wasn’t actually in cardiac arrest, and how the rolling blackouts were in fact, not because of the storm or the damage to the power grid from the Lab explosion, but because of Felicity herself. 

Really, Oliver was only listening halfheartedly as the men spoke because, though they had yet to say the words, Oliver knew the point of their message. They wanted to take Felicity back to STAR Labs - or what remained of it - to monitor and care for her from there. And that was what was best for her - even Future Barry had said as much. But as the pair of men droned on, all that Oliver could hear in every syllable was one agonizing, repeated message. 

He was going to have to leave Felicity. Here. In Central City. Without him. 

All he wanted was to be at her side, from now until the moment she awoke. Future Barry had said that day would not arrive for some nine months. Nine months was, in some respects, a long time. But Oliver would have waited those months sitting dutifully at her bedside and he would have done so _gladly_. But the fact of the matter - the cold, hard truth - was that he could not. Starling City would not keep that long - the next threat would arise to threaten the city. There would be nothing for it - he would have to leave her here. And so, while nine months at her bedside would have felt like nothing, he was now forced to contemplate nine months without her in Starling.

It felt like an eternity even to consider three quarters of a year without her. 

The very notion of putting six hundred miles between them when she was conscious made him feel physically ill. The idea of doing so with her comatose? With her vulnerable and unwell? It made him want to gnash his teeth and tear his hair out, to cry and scream. How was he supposed to leave her? Even as Cisco began to explain something about electrokinesis, Oliver was spiraling. 

In the short time that Felicity had been in his life, she had made herself an indispensable member of the team. But more than that? She’d made herself an indispensable figure in his life. And… in his heart. She was more than a teammate. She was his _friend._ He cared about her. And that...that was a new look for him. 

The very concept of leaving her behind here and returning to Starling? It was appalling. Unthinkable, even. But staying would leave the city at risk; the very city that Felicity had committed herself to helping him protect. He could betray her by leaving her or he could betray her by staying here and abandoning their shared mission. Neither choice felt right. But he knew what she would want him to do. 

She would want him to go back to Starling. To protect the place and the people that they called home. But even as Oliver tried to grapple with the difficult reality that choice presented him with, he realized something else.

Starling wasn’t home without Felicity.

At the end of the day, Oliver knew his feelings on the subject of Felicity’s recovery were not the important consideration. The only thing that mattered was keeping her safe and providing for her the very best way possible. And Future Barry had made it abundantly clear that only the trio of STAR Labs employees he had mentioned were equal to the task of doing just that. So while Oliver was convinced that leaving Felicity behind would destroy him, he knew that he had to do it. For her sake. 

As Oliver came back to the conversation taking place in Felicity’s hospital room, he cleared his throat, interrupting Cisco’s explanation about electrical impulses and human nerve endings.

“No offense guys but if you have a point? Please make it.” 

Wells and Cisco shared a knowing look at this and for a moment, Oliver wasn’t sure what was about to happen. But then Wells spoke up, his eyes holding Oliver’s gaze unflinchingly. 

“Mister Queen, we have reason to believe that your friend, Miss Smoak, will require a degree of highly specialized care, the likes of which she cannot receive anywhere except for at our facility. Mister Ramon and I would be more than happy to walk you through our care and monitoring plans for her and we would of course give you regular updates on her condition. But I am imploring you to move Miss Smoak from Central City Hospital to STAR Labs. If you don’t, I’m afraid she may not receive the caliber of medical care that she requires. And if that were to happen, I cannot guarantee what the result would be for her.” 

Oliver’s skin prickled.

“Is that a threat, Mister Wells?” 

“Not at all; I am merely trying to be forthcoming with you. Your friend here… Her accident may have exposed her to things which may alter the very foundation of her physiology. She could very well prove to be beyond the skills of an ordinary medical doctor to treat. If that is the case, my staff is perhaps the only one in the world who will be capable of giving her the kind of care she may require.”

“And if you’re wrong?” 

“Then she will still receive the highest possible quality of care, until such time as she wakes. The choice is yours entirely, Mister Queen. We are merely here to provide you with all the information and to give you the options.” 

At this, Wells waved a hand and together, he and the younger man began to leave the room. Forced into making a split second decision, Oliver sucked in a wild breath and took a leap of faith. 

“I want daily progress reports and I will need full access to your facility.” 

“Woah, hold up STAR Labs is kind of a closed campus,” Cisco began, only for Oliver to shoot him a deathly glare. 

“Not to me, it isn’t. I get full access to visit her anytime that I want. Deal?” Oliver growled, directing the offer to Wells, who stared him down intently for a full thirty seconds before he nodded. 

“We can arrange that.” 

“Anything she needs, you let me know. I want to be the first call.” 

“Understood.” 

Oliver took a moment, hating himself a little for what he was about to say. 

“If you promise that she will receive nothing but the finest treatment and the most attentive care… I will approve transferring her to STAR Labs.”

“You have my word, Mister Queen. I’ll send someone over tomorrow to help sort out Miss Smoak’s transfer but until then, enjoy your visit to Central City,” Wells murmured, pushing Cisco ahead of him and in the direction of the door as the pair quickly left. Diggle was silent for a moment and then he crossed the room to Oliver’s side, looking at him as though he’d grown two heads.

“Are you serious? Oliver, we don’t know these people. You just said that Felicity is going to wake up with inhuman powers beyond our comprehension and you’re willing to just pass her off to a couple of strangers like _that_?!” Diggle snapped his fingers for added emphasis and Oliver bit the inside of his cheek as he took a breath. 

“I told you, Barry told me we could trust them,” Oliver hedged and Diggle threw up his hands in frustration.

“Yeah, Barry from the Future. How do we even know if we can trust _him_?! This is Felicity we’re talking about-”

“I KNOW THAT, DIGG!” Oliver shot back hotly, his face in his hands. “I don’t need to be reminded. This is Felicity. Who I promised you we would keep safe. And now here she is, in a coma, very possibly _unsafe_ and there isn’t a right play here. If we bring her back to Starling, she might not get the care that she needs. If we leave her here though, she might!”

“Or she might be a sitting duck for someone with sinister intentions. Someone like Barry from the Future!” 

“So what do we do, Diggle? Because I’m out of my depth here! If what he said is true - and so far, what he’s told me has tracked - then she may not survive if she doesn’t get the specialized care she’s going to need. She’s going to be out for nine months. I don’t know about you, but I don’t think we’re capable of taking care of her ourselves for that long. We have no idea what we’re dealing with. I don’t want to leave her but if the best thing for her is to leave her in the hands of professionals… Then I’ll do it. I won’t be happy about it but… I’ll do whatever it takes to keep her safe.” 

The two men squared off and Oliver watched as Diggle’s shoulders slowly slumped and the man seemed to break right before him. 

“I want to have my friend at the DoD check them out first.” 

“Absolutely. Let’s vet them, have the DoD, ARGUS, anyone, look into them. If they find anything the least bit suspicious, we won’t let them take her. But otherwise… Diggle, I can’t lose her. If they can protect her, they should be the ones we entrust with her care.” 

\-----

It didn’t take long for their contacts to get back to them regarding the STAR Labs crew. By mid morning, Diggle’s friend at the DoD had sent them everything on the trio and the results were both good and bad. The good news was, all three individuals Barry had name dropped - Caitlin Snow, Cisco Ramon, and Harrison Wells - checked out. And while Barry hadn’t exactly been forthcoming about what the deal was with Wells, the guy had nothing shifty to his name. Not even a parking ticket. 

The bad news was that because Caitlin, Cisco, and Wells were clean, Felicity was getting moved to their facility. Today. 

Oliver sat at her bedside as the preparations were made, feeling numb to the world as he stared down at her worriedly. He couldn’t know with certainty whether or not she would be safe at STAR Labs. But inasmuch as he could know it? He did. He had every reason to suspect she would be well provided for. And that was the only reason he was going to be able to let her go, even knowing that the parting would gut him. 

As he stared at her, her skin seemed to glow in the pattern of a fern, as if light itself had been imprinted on her. His hands hovered over her, uncertain what to do or say; a glance at her monitor showed that her vitals were holding steady. The light moved across her arms and even across her face, always in the tendril like shapes. 

“It’s called ‘feathering’; it’s a discoloration of the skin and a side effect of being struck by lightning, because of the associated electron shower. On most people, it looks almost like a burn. I guess in her case, it shows up now and then in the form of light glowing beneath her skin.” 

Oliver spun in his chair to see Future Barry standing in the doorway of Felicity’s room, looking sheepishly inside. Wordlessly, he stole deeper into the room, his hands in his pockets as he reclined on the wall opposite of Oliver. 

“What are you doing here?” Oliver grumbled, unable to keep the menace out of his voice. He wasn’t exactly Barry Allen’s biggest fan - whether it was the present version or the future version, it made no difference. 

“Just… Checking in. Did anyone from STAR Labs come to see you?” 

“You know that they did.” 

Barry nodded slowly, his eyes sliding over Felicity’s motionless figure before returning to Oliver’s brooding features. 

“Wells and Cisco?” Oliver gave a mute nod by way of answer and Barry fell silent as he paced the room, which fell quickly to setting Oliver on edge. 

“Are you going to transfer her to STAR Labs?” 

“I don’t think that’s any of your business,” Oliver retorted. Barry opened his mouth as though to say something and then seemed to think better of it. The two men allowed the silence to lapse between them once more and Oliver lost himself in staring at Felicity’s arms and hands, watching as the thin lines of light made her skin glow almost translucent. The light continued to travel across her body for some time until finally, Oliver could take it no more. 

He let his fingertips fall close to hers, intending to brush his fingers against her hand, only to whisk his fingers away in surprise as a spark shot out and sent a shock through him before he could touch her. Shaking his hand to work out the pain, he stared at Felicity’s hand in surprise. That… was unexpected. Turning his attention back to Barry, Oliver sighed and sat back in his chair as he surveyed the other man. 

“What, Barry? What do you want me to say? So far you’ve been right about a lot of things. But I don’t trust you. At all. Honestly, I’d like to put an arrow in your back. Give me one good reason why I should trust you on this. Why I should trust _her life_ to these people and to you.” 

Barry’s eyes grew large and he seemed to consider this for a moment. He passed a hand through his hair and resumed his pacing, clearly torn on what his answer should be. At last he looked back to Oliver, his hair a mess and his eyes wild. 

“Because you’re in love with her. And because of what you do, you don’t think you can be with her. In the future… In the future you tell me ‘guys like us don’t get the girl’. But just because guys like us don’t get the girl… It doesn’t mean we don’t _love_ the girl.” 

Oliver felt every particle of his being come alive, as though Barry’s words had been an electrical shock. He was tingling with the weight of Barry’s words and he looked to Felicity with newfound appreciation. 

O-Of course he _loved_ her. She was his friend. His teammate. But _love her_ love her? He couldn’t even begin to unpack this. This was too much. 

“I thought time travelers were supposed to keep their lips sealed about the future?” Oliver retorted, avoiding facing the fact that Barry had dropped the ‘l’ word in relation to Oliver and Felicity.

“Dude, you already know it at this point. I’m not telling you anything you don’t know,” Barry defended and Oliver felt his skin prickle in irritation. Did he know? He had told Felicity after Russia that because of the life he led, he thought it was better to not be with someone that he could really care about. And truthfully, he _could_ see himself really caring for her. Even then, he’d known that his feelings for her were definitely strong. But that was what happened when you spent your nights fighting for a common goal alongside someone. Growing close was to be expected. Sure he loved her. He loved Diggle too. It didn’t _mean_ anything. 

“This doesn’t mean that I trust you,” Oliver responded at long last, shifting his attention fully back to Felicity. Wordlessly, he let his fingers brush at her face, trailing along her hairline from her forehead, down to her cheek. His thumb had just brushed across her lips when suddenly, the monitor beside her began to go haywire once more for a few seconds before the lights in the room snuffed out all at once. 

This had happened enough times now that Oliver no longer got as panicky as he had the first few times, though each instance still elevated his heart rate. He rode out this latest episode the same way he had all the others: his hands folded in his lap as he quietly willed Felicity to pull through. 

“Come on Felicity. Slow it down. Listen to my voice and just let your heart _beat._ ”

It took a few seconds more but with a flicker, the lights returned and the monitor beside her chirped joyously. Oliver slumped back in his chair with relief as he saw the steady pattern of her heart monitor and he exhaled loudly. 

“Interesting,” Barry muttered across the room, prompting Oliver to go still where he had practically melted in his chair. He lifted his head to shoot the time traveler a frown, not sure if he really wanted to know what he was thinking but unable to resist nonetheless. 

“What’s ‘interesting’?”

“Well, that’s the second time she’s had one of her ‘not-cardiac-arrest’ episodes that I’ve seen. And both times, you were touching her when it happened. It’s just interesting, is all. It’s like your touch makes her heart race or something.” 

“Now you’re being ridiculous. And seeing as I’ve currently got my plate full of ridiculousness, I don’t need you adding more to it. I’m sure I’ll see you later, Barry,” Oliver remarked, rising from his chair to open the room door for the other man pointedly. Barry exhaled uneasily, glancing from Felicity to Oliver and back again before he acquiesced, slipping out of the room with a couple of nervous backwards glances. 

As Oliver closed the door behind Barry, he glanced uneasily at Felicity before he paced back to her bedside. 

“Can you believe that guy?” Oliver muttered, clearing his throat as he tried to settle himself unsuccessfully. Barry had been totally off base. It was a coincidence that he’d touched her before two of her cardiac episodes. Random happenstance. It didn’t _mean_ anything. Obviously. 

“If you ask me, all the time traveling has cost him a few marbles too many,” Oliver muttered, gently covering her hand with one of his. “But then again, not all of us can be geniuses like you, Felicity.” 

An all too familiar, shrill alarm began to ping then and before Oliver could say or do anything more, the room’s lights flickered once more and then went out. He stared at the place where his hand met hers and with a lurch, he wrenched his hand away, breathing heavily for what felt like a lifetime before the lights came back on and Felicity’s heart monitor resumed its cheery beeping. 

_Fuck._ Barry had been right. Every time he touched Felicity, he was sending her into irregular heart rhythms. That… couldn’t be good. Rising to his feet, Oliver stuffed his hands in his pockets and walked himself to the corner of the room furthest from Felicity, looking at her helplessly. 

So maybe Barry’s earlier words had been truer than he or Oliver had realized. Judging by the way Oliver’s heart raced with the lingering adrenaline brought on by the fear he felt each time Felicity had an episode, he really did love her. But clearly, even his very touch was a danger to her. He had been right, after Russia, to tell her that he couldn’t be with someone he could truly care about. 

And what Barry had said was true - guys like Oliver? They didn’t get the girl. 

But Oliver sure as shit _loved_ the girl. And because he loved her, he had to let her go and place at least a little bit of trust in Future Barry and the STAR Labs team. But mostly, he had to keep trusting Felicity. She’d never abandoned him before. She wouldn’t now. She would come back to him. In nine months time. 

He just had to survive those nine months. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh thank you all SO MUCH for all your comments and excitement about this story! I'm currently working on Chapter 10, so we are still on track for weekly Wednesday updates!
> 
> The following chapter is going to span a rather large chunk of Season 2. Sorry if it's not as in-depth as you were hoping for (honestly, an episode by episode rewrite of the show, sans Felicity, sounded terribly tedious to write and I feel like it would have been equally tedious to read). Hopefully you enjoy this chapter! Thanks so much for reading, commenting, and just all your support and kindness - it is MUCH appreciated!

Being the Arrow wasn’t supposed to be this _hard._

It was supposed to have been a solo mission. Just Oliver, the list of names, and the mantle placed on him by his father. He wasn’t supposed to have teammates. He wasn’t supposed to have people that he cared about. And somehow, that solo mission had evolved into him and two teammates up against all the evil doers in the city. And though he’d done his best to remain focused on the mission, somewhere along the way he’d started to open up to Diggle and Felicity. Not a lot and always only in fits and starts but still, bit by hard earned bit, he’d allowed himself to care for them. 

And what’s more? He’d come to _depend_ on them - a fact that was very much in evidence in the weeks and months following Felicity’s accident. Oliver was no tech savant but he had thought himself at least reasonably proficient with technology, despite being at something of a disadvantage from the five years he’d spent (part time) on the island, removed from the blossoming tech field. But when faced with tracking down and fighting the criminals of Starling without Felicity, it had become abundantly apparent that Oliver was no substitute for the bespectacled IT girl. He wasn’t even good enough to be a _poor_ substitute. 

She’d always made it look so easy. And it wasn’t. 

Still, they managed to limp by with their reduced tech skills. Through a combination of luck and skill in the field, he and Diggle made it work as best as they could without her. And not long after he’d said goodbye to Felicity in Central City and let Cisco pack her up to take her to STAR Labs, Oliver had found himself back in Starling and faced with the unavoidable necessity of bringing yet _another_ person onto the team: Roy. 

He wasn’t precisely thrilled about it but he tried to envision what Felicity would have had to say on the matter and somehow, that made things easier. 

Time passed. Roy proved a difficult student but Oliver redoubled his efforts with the kid. He flew to Central City after bringing Roy into the fold and filled Felicity in, imagining what she’d say in response to the news. The arrival of Nyssa in Starling, though unexpected, Oliver took in stride. The League of Assassins, so long as it left the citizens of Starling (and Sara) alone, was not his concern. And though it had taken an extraordinary act of desperation on Sara’s part to drive home her unwillingness to leave, eventually Nyssa (and the League) had relented. When he visited Felicity after things with the League had concluded, he told her everything - and not just about Nyssa’s visit, but everything he knew about the League and how. Talking to her when she was awake had always been easy. And talking to her while she was comatose was almost his own personal therapy. It eased his troubled mind to unburden himself to her, even if she couldn’t give him the advice and counsel he so desperately craved from her. 

Life continued to soldier on as she slept. Sara and Laurel had fought. Sara had come to the Foundry to talk and found him in the midst of one of his (many) fear fueled workouts as he thought of Felicity, lying comatose alone in Central City. It had been nice to have Sara to talk to, to confide his fears to, though she still couldn’t hold a candle to Felicity.

He told her how he still felt like a bad luck charm. As if he was capable only of sowing ill fortune amongst those closest to him. Sara had tried to dissuade him of that viewpoint but he had persisted. How could he believe otherwise when the most innocent person in his universe was suffering in a coma that he took full responsibility for causing? If not for Oliver, Felicity would never have met Barry, would never have gone to Central City, and would never have been struck by lightning. 

He was nothing but a magnet for horror and the people around him always wound up as collateral damage. Sara had done her best to cheer him up but he hadn’t listened to her and she had left him to his brooding and working out. He felt sorry for her - Sara had obviously come seeking solace of a different nature but that was not something Oliver could provide her. 

There was one woman on his mind. And that woman was not a ‘Lance’. Oliver had been down both those roads and neither had led him anywhere good. The only woman he had space in his mind for was Felicity. She had done nothing but occupy his thoughts since the moment he had learned of her accident. And really, if he was being honest? She’d been in his thoughts long before even that day. So now, not having her around? Oliver felt her absence like a hole in his chest. 

Then came Tockman. 

Never had the team so acutely felt Felicity’s absence as it did when the Clock King himself attacked. After the team had thwarted one of his robberies, the criminal had answered back by attacking the electronics within the Foundry and just like that, Oliver’s already stunted technological capabilities were cut down to nothing. They were completely and utterly blind. 

_God, he missed Felicity._ Not just for her help with technological snafus. He missed her reassurance, her unwavering belief in him, her ability to keep him on the right path. He missed how she made him want to be better, how she called him out. He missed everything about her, honestly. He just missed _her._

Trying to track Tockman had been damn near impossible; they’d been reduced to _reacting_ instead of being _proactive_ and it put Oliver in a defensive, edgy state. Eventually, they’d caught the man but it had taken too long, too much struggle, and too many _weeks_ of scrounging up leads and running them down. Nothing was easy without Felicity. He’d told her as much when he’d visited her at STAR Labs after the Tockman fiasco had been resolved. He’d itched to hold her hand in his but he’d resisted temptation, knowing all too well what would happen to her heart if he did. But _fuck_. How he _longed_ to hold her hand. He hadn’t realized how frequently they shared such little touches until he could no longer share them with her. And now the absence of those shoulder touches, those innocent hand holds and the like? It left him aching, with his attention perpetually split between business here in Starling, and Felicity in Central City.

And then Slade had surfaced in Oliver’s family home. 

His instinct had been to call Felicity; without even looking at his phone, he was able to pull up her contact based on sheer muscle memory. It was only after he’d hit the ‘CALL’ button that he remembered she couldn’t answer him. Instead, he’d had to fumble when Slade wasn’t looking and dial John instead and pray that the man answered his phone. 

But John hadn’t. And so Oliver had been forced to go toe to toe with Slade on his own, sans backup. But for whatever reason, Slade had not attacked Oliver or his family - though he had taunted Oliver to that end. But even as Slade had pulled his car down the long, winding drive to the Queen mansion, Oliver knew that this, whatever it was? It wasn’t over - not by a long shot. Oliver knew that much; what he didn’t know was what Slade’s next move was. And that? That terrified him. He waited for the other shoe to drop, knowing that it was coming and when it did? It might very well wreck him. 

The reality was not far off; when Thea had turned up kidnapped, Oliver had felt as though his world had bottomed out. And though the team had done their best to mobilize and find her, they’d been completely powerless in the face of Slade’s scheming. Overwhelmed and fraught, Oliver had not had the time or mental energy to devote to the company even as important decisions needed to be made. He’d signed over the company to Isabel temporarily in the hopes of passing off that responsibility at least, and redoubled his efforts to find Thea. 

He had already failed Felicity. The very notion of failing one of the other important women in his life was almost more than he could bear. But then, unexpectedly, Thea had reappeared and with her return had come a bombshell Oliver hadn’t seen coming - the reveal that Thea was in fact his half sister and her father was none other than Malcolm Merlyn himself. This entire time, their mother had lied to them all about it. Oliver had reeled with the discovery, his anger at his mother knowing no bounds. He couldn’t even comfort Thea because, having had her world rocked in such a profound manner, she was pushing him away, much to his chagrin. 

It was too much. All of it. 

With Thea safely returned, Oliver also had to try and come to terms with what Isabel had set in motion. Removing him as CEO had been one thing but she hadn’t stopped there. It seemed the brunette would not be content until she had left the Queen family destitute and she was well on her way to making that happen. Fortunately, Oliver had formed an uneasy, temporary truce with his mother and together they had been working on trying to preserve some scrap of the family fortune before Isabel could leave them in utter ruin. It was a lot to handle and even more to try to wrap his head around. 

Isabel continued her fervent dismantling of Oliver and his family’s assets. Now that Oliver knew she was in cahoots with Slade, he had wracked his brain trying to come up with some way of stopping the pair. As he had done many times over the past few months, Oliver asked himself a simple question:

_What would Felicity do?_

Undoubtedly, she would have had some brilliant solution to his current predicament. Better yet, if Felicity had been around? She would never have let him sign over power of the company to Isabel, or so Oliver told himself. But he _had_ signed it over and he _was_ in this situation and he was _completely_ out of good ideas for how to stop Slade and Rochev from burying Starling City as part of their vengeful vendettas. 

He needed to stop them. Take them completely by surprise. Bombard them.

...or perhaps just _bomb_ them. 

And thus, he, Diggle, and Sara had worked together to put an end to the lab that Isabel had inherited along with Queen Consolidated, which had been set to become the scene of Slade raising a Mirakuru soldier army. For a brief moment, Oliver had thought that maybe, _just maybe_ , he’d bought himself and the team some time. And then Slade had attacked the Foundry.

Between worrying about his family fortune, his relationship with his sister, his mother’s lies, and Felicity’s coma, Oliver felt as though all of him had been consumed by worry. He couldn’t concentrate on legalities or bank accounts any further; he was focused on one thing and one thing only. 

He needed to go to Felicity. 

Sure, the world was falling apart all overhead but there was only one person who could stare into the face of this chaos and find hope and encouragement and light amidst it all. And that one person? Was Felicity. He needed to hear her voice, to have her tell him it was going to be alright. What Oliver needed was for her to tell him what to do. Felicity always knew what to do - even when she didn’t think she did. She was his compass, his guiding light, his north star.

And he felt more than a little lost without her. 

He had hopped on his motorcycle with a clear destination in mind; if he made it to the airstrip fast, the pilot could probably have the jet fueled up and in the air within the next hour. He could make it to Central City by midnight and be at her side at STAR Labs a little after that. Already he was trying to figure out how he would tell her of how badly he’d screwed up. Of Isabel and her secret allegiance. It would be hard - because even comatose as Felicity was, Oliver was dreading telling her how much of a failure he was. But seeing her? He knew that was the only thing that would bring him peace and make all this awfulness a little easier to bear. 

He cut the engine as he pulled up at the hangar and quickly doffed his helmet as he caught sight of the crew lingering nearby. Making eye contact with the pilot, Oliver hustled over to him, eager to set the trip in motion. 

“Rob! Hey, if we can get wheels up stat, I’d love to be in Central City as soon as possible,” Oliver breathed as he approached the man in question. A look of unease flitted across his face and the pilot rubbed the back of his neck. 

“Mister Queen, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but we’ve been informed that the jet is being seized as one of the Queen family’s assets. Myself and the crew have been relieved of duty. I… I’m afraid we can’t take you anywhere, sir.” 

“Please, Rob...You know I’ve got a friend in a coma out there. I need… I _need_ to see her. Please,” his voice broke as he begged for this one favor, that he might see Felicity on this night. But the look on the pilot’s face told him what the answer would be before the words ever left his mouth.

“I’m so sorry, there’s really nothing we can do.” 

“COME ON!” Oliver roared, his chest heaving as anger flashed through him, quick as a wink. But he wasn’t mad _at_ the pilot - he was mad at himself. Mad at his carelessness, which was now costing not just him, but others. Including Felicity; the very idea of her lying alone in that bed, without anyone holding her hand or sitting at her side? It gutted him. 

“I’m sorry,” he panted as he fought to regain control, putting up a hand apologetically towards the pilot. Oliver felt, not for the first time that week or even today, as if the rug had been pulled out from under him. He’d known, logically, that losing QC had come with many other losses but the jet had not occurred to him. And in other circumstances he would have made his peace with losing it. But to lose it now, when he so desperately needed to see Felicity? 

It was a serious blow. 

“I… I understand. Of course. I’m so sorry about all this,” Oliver responded numbly, fumbling with his helmet as he turned and began to walk away. He wasn’t up for hearing hollow apologies or empty kindnesses. This was just another example of how he’d failed. Failed his company, his father’s legacy, his family.

Failed _Felicity_.

Because of him, she would wake up essentially jobless - the EA to a CEO who no longer had a company. What a tantalizing career he’d provided for her. If he’d just left her in IT as she’d wanted, she’d probably have been safe from the scourge of Isabel. Because of Oliver, Felicity’s city, the city she has fought to protect, was under fire from a dangerous foe in Slade Wilson. Because of Oliver, Felicity would be alone tonight, instead of being cared for by a friend at her bedside, as she deserved. It felt as if, day after day, he found new ways of failing her. And the guilt of that weighed heavily upon him. 

Revving the bike, Oliver guided it towards the freeway, intent on one thing: if he could not fly to her side, he would drive there. Tonight. If he was to have any chance of getting his head on right to take on Slade, he needed to see Felicity, to try and gain some perspective and to try and think of what she would tell him to do. He sped along towards Central City mindlessly, focused only on her. But after a half hour on the road, a notification sounded, alerting him that he was getting a phone call. Patching it through to his helmet, he answered. 

“Hello?” 

“Oliver man, you need to get over here now. It’s Slade. He hit a warehouse here in Starling.” 

“I can’t deal with this now, Diggle.” 

“Oliver… The warehouse was a storage facility for STAR Labs. Cisco and Caitlin were there; Slade almost killed them.” 

Oliver’s blood ran suddenly cold at the mention of the lab and the people associated with it who were _supposed_ to be safe in Central City, watching over Felicity in his stead. Slade had hit a STAR Labs storage facility? 

“What does this mean, Diggle? Is he going after Felicity?!” 

“Hey man, easy. I don’t know. I can’t make heads or tails of all this stuff and we don’t have anyone capable of hacking into the site’s records to figure out what’s missing. Sara and I are still trying to figure out what Slade might have taken from here in the Foundry. It’s hard going without any tech know how. We’re dead in the water, Oliver. That’s why I need you to come back here.” 

“Cisco,” Oliver grunted, even as he slowed the motorcycle and whipped it around in a lightning fast U-turn as he began to race back for Starling, cursing himself even as he did it. 

“What about him?” 

“Cisco can hack the facility records. He’s not as good as Felicity, but he’s the best that we can do, all things considered.” 

“So what, you want me to ask him to do that? I’m going to need a pretty convincing cover story, man.” 

“Then tell him the truth.” 

“What?!”

“You heard me… Tell him the truth. Bring him into the fold. Future Barry said we could trust Cisco _and_ Caitlin. And Felicity won’t wake up for months still. We won’t be able to make it another week without tech support, let alone a few months, Diggle. So tell Cisco and Caitlin whatever you need to. But the first priority is making sure that Slade isn’t after Felicity, so I need you to confirm with those two that STAR Labs hasn’t also been hit and that she’s safe, then let me know. Alright?” 

“Yeah, yeah. Alright.” 

“I’m on my way. I’ll be there in a half hour.” 

With a click, the line went dead and Oliver poured on the speed, urging the bike far beyond the posted speed limit. As he dashed back towards the city he had been so intent on fleeing, he felt his burden of guilt grow. Now Felicity was possibly in danger _because of him._

He could not fail her again. He would not.

\-----

Things began to move quickly; Felicity, it seemed, was still safe at STAR Labs - Oliver convinced Wells to arrange for additional protection for her. It had taken some finagling, as Oliver was no longer able to afford anything, least of all private security. Eventually though, the head of STAR Labs had relented and agreed to get two guards posted at her bedside until such time as Oliver contacted Wells to let him know that Felicity was safe. 

But for all of Felicity’s apparent safety, the rest of his loved ones were in tremendous peril. 

Roy was in a Mirakuru induced rampage and Oliver injured his knee rather thoroughly trying to stop him. But his protege’s situation quickly fell off of Oliver’s list of priorities after Slade abducted the entire Queen family trio and, as Oliver watched, his mother was run through with a sword and murdered before his very eyes. 

He hadn’t had the stomach to attend his own mother’s funeral. And though Diggle had tracked him down with assistance from ARGUS, in truth he felt hollow. Diggle had done his level best to inspire him to fight once more but it fell on deaf ears. Of all the people left in his life there was only one who was routinely capable of inspiring him to be better and she was unconscious because of his inability to protect her. Just as he’d failed to protect his mother. And his sister. 

Everything he loved fell to ruin at his hands. How could he expect to protect an entire city when he couldn’t even protect the half a dozen people in his life who he cared about? 

He couldn’t. He was a shit protector. But he was one of very few things standing between the inhabitants of Starling City and total destruction when Slade unleashed his army of Mirakuru soldiers on the city. Suddenly, Oliver was thankful for the network of people that he had found over the last two years as they all worked to prevent Slade from overrunning the city. And though they lost the cure STAR Labs had cooked up (after Oliver barked at Cisco none too kindly) Blood had surprised Oliver by smuggling the cure out of Slade’s hands and into Team Arrow’s. Faced with the difficult decision of how best to test its efficacy, Oliver had injected Roy with the concoction. And despite some severely flagging spirits, Oliver found himself at least momentarily bolstered when the cure did in fact work and his protege was once more in his right mind. 

Together, the team and their allies took to the streets, armed with the cure, and made their last stand against Slade’s army. The cure-laced injection arrows flew fast and thick in the air as Oliver and Sara were joined by Nyssa and some of her League associates in the fight. Roy too fought alongside them and for a brief moment, Oliver allowed himself to be hopeful. He had his team beside him. And slowly but surely, they brought down Slade’s men as one soldier after another was struck by the cure and the toxic MIrakuru was leached out of their bodies. 

Then, Oliver heard the telltale chime that indicated he was being hailed by someone via the team’s comm system. 

“Go,” Oliver growled as he tapped his comm while surveying the tunnel from atop an abandoned car. The bodies of Slade’s soldiers were scattered everywhere and Nyssa and her followers had fallen mostly still as they waited for the other shoe to drop. 

The other shoe arrived in the form of a familiar, guttural voice answering the other end of the line.

“You’ve been busy, kid.” 

Oliver felt white hot rage sear through him. How had Slade gotten his hands on one of the team’s comms? With a flush of anger, Oliver realized it must have been stolen on the same night Slade had broken into the Foundry and stolen the skeleton key that had given him access to the STAR Labs Warehouse. 

“It’s over Slade. Your army is broken,” he rumbled as he stared out at the remnants of Slade’s Mirakuru powered soldiers. 

“And I pity them. But once again, you miss the point. I have the one you love. You’re going to meet me where I say, otherwise I am going to kill her.” 

Oliver swallowed as his mind raced. Slade had known of Laurel even when Oliver had been on the island; it was clear, his intention was to hold her over him. But Oliver could not risk the safety of the entire city for the sake of a woman he did not love - and he knew without question that he did not love Laurel Lance. In truth, he never really had; there had always been someone else to catch his eye and prompt him to stray when he’d been with her. Had he cared about her? Certainly. But Laurel had never been the woman he loved and in all honesty, she never would be. 

“No, you do what you have to. I’m done playing your games,” Oliver shot back fiercely, whatever guilt he felt at sacrificing Laurel mitigated by the knowledge that it was the ethical decision. One life to save thousands.

“You’re done when I say you’re done!” Slade roared back at him and Oliver knew that what little sanity the man possessed was hanging by a thread; clearly, Slade had not anticipated that Oliver would be so serene about losing someone that Slade thought he had loved. “I was surprised. I thought you had a thing for stronger women. But now that I’ve seen the pictures, I can see the appeal. She is quite lovely, even in sleep - your girl in the coma.” 

Oliver felt the blood drain from his face; his eyes flared open wide and his heart faltered as Slade’s words processed.Oliver felt himself stumble atop the car, dropping to his knees. 

_Your girl in the coma._ There was no mistaking who that could be. _Slade had Felicity._

Felicity, who was still comatose. Felicity who was vulnerable and no match for Slade even when conscious, was now at the mercy of this man, this _monster_ , while lying trapped in sleep. Felicity his IT Girl. His EA. His Girl Wednesday (or Friday, he could never remember which was right). _His girl._ Period. 

Slade had her. And he was going to kill her.

A bone deep terror roared through Oliver, followed by rage: brutal, savage, _monstrous_ rage. Whatever sense of calm he had felt was shattered now. The only thing that mattered now was protecting Felicity - whatever it cost him to do that was nothing. He could scarcely contain himself as he hit his comm, his blood boiling as he snarled. 

“I swear to God, if you hurt her-” 

“You’ll do what? My men are already at her bedside in Central City. Did you really think a few hundred miles would be enough to keep her safe from me? All I have to do is say the word and they will gut her while she sleeps.” 

“She has _nothing_ to do with this! Do you hear me, Slade? She is _innocent!_ ” Oliver thundered as he scrambled down from the car’s roof, his legs shaking. As soon as his feet made contact with the asphalt, Oliver began to run as fast as he could. 

“So was Shado!” Slade all but screamed back at him on the other end of the line. “And if you don’t do exactly as I say, your Felicity will meet the same fate as she did.” 

Oliver bristled; every fiber of his being screamed at him that Slade could not be trusted, that he had to get to Central City and protect Felicity from Slade’s men. But Central City was six hundred miles away - and this time? This time Oliver couldn’t call his private jet to race him to her bedside. 

There was nothing for it. He had to meet Slade’s demands if Felicity was going to stand any chance of living. If he didn’t, Oliver knew all too well that his opponent would not hesitate to drive a sword through her gut, or put a bullet right through her beautiful, beautiful brain. 

Felicity’s life or his own. 

There was no choice to make; he would do whatever it took to protect her. Even if it meant sacrificing himself… It would be worth it, to keep her safe.

“Tell me what I have to do…” 

Somehow, Oliver kept his wits about him long enough to take heed of Slade’s instructions. He dashed through the city streets atop his motorcycle, obliterating every speed limit and blowing through more than one red light. 

He had to stop Slade. Oliver didn’t care if it took sacrificing himself to do it but he needed to stop Felicity from becoming another one of his victims. Already, there had been far too much loss. Shado. Tommy. His mother. He would not be able to bear Felicity’s name joining their ranks. Not her. _Never_ her. He had sworn to Diggle when they brought her into the fold that they would protect her. And Oliver had failed in that promise time and again. He could not fail it again tonight. 

“Diggle, can you hear me?” Oliver called out into the night as he patched himself over to Diggle, praying his teammate would answer.

Silence met his words and Oliver heard nothing, save the roar of the motorcycle beneath him. He knew that Diggle had been ARGUS bound and for a moment, Oliver felt a bolt of fear lance through him at the idea that Diggle had been pinned down by Amanda Waller and her agents. And then, at last he heard the familiar voice on the other end of his comm. 

“I copy you.” 

“Slade is going after Felicity. I’m going to give myself up to him but… I need you to get to her, John. Go to Central City _now._ Get her to safety. Do whatever it takes but promise me, you’ll take care of her.” 

“Oliver, you cannot trust that man! He is going to kill you _and_ Felicity if you turn yourself over to him!” 

“I know I can’t trust him, Digg. I don’t have a choice. He’s going to kill her if I don’t.” 

“And he’ll kill her if you do! Oliver, there’s got to be another way!” 

“There isn’t. Everything I have tried has failed, Digg. This is the only play I have left. And if it comes down to me or her… I choose _her_ , Diggle.” 

Silence extended between the two brothers at arms and Oliver urged the motorcycle onward at breakneck speed. He was so close. He just needed to know that, when Slade killed him, someone would take care of Felicity in his stead. 

“John… I need you to promise me that you’ll get her to safety.” 

“Oliver-”

“Promise me.” 

“...I-I promise.” 

Oliver huffed out a quiet sigh and nodded. 

“Thank you, John. For everything… It’s been my honor to fight alongside you.” 

With a tap of his comm, Oliver severed the connection. He needed to focus; Slade’s rendezvous point was just ahead. 

The building was an older facility just off the water down by the docks. Oliver parked his bike and broke open a side door with ease. He began a methodical sweep of the building, sector by sector. 

He prowled through the darkened walkways of the plant, passing through the small clouds of steam that rose here and there from amidst the machinery. As he stalked nearer to his enemy, Oliver’s heart was hammering anxiously and his body was as taut as the string of his nocked bow. 

“‘Twitch and I will open your throat.’ My first words to you. Do you remember?” Slade’s voice rang out through the vast, winding building and Oliver had to bite back the instinctive snarl that rose within him at the very sound. Every step felt like an odyssey, every heartbeat an eternity. As long as Felicity was in danger, Oliver knew he wouldn’t be able to think or to breathe or to move without fear. 

“I do. I remember the exact moment. My blade against your neck. Just like my men have their blades against the neck of your beloved. If only I had killed you then. Everything would be different.”

If Slade had killed him then, Felicity would be safe. She wouldn’t be in a hospital bed, unconscious, having some psychopath soldier sticking a knife to her neck. How much better Felicity Smoak’s life would be if Slade _had_ killed him then. If only. If only she’d never met him. If only he’d never taken that damn laptop down to her in the IT department. If only, if only, _if only._

As he drew deeper into the building, Oliver’s skin prickled with the tension; Slade’s voice was growing louder. He was close. Another few steps and Oliver rounded the final corner. Slade stood before him, a switch of some sort in one hand, and a phone in the other. Before Oliver could let loose an arrow, however, Slade twitched a finger and the phone screen flickered to life, revealing a video of Felicity in her bed at STAR Labs. One of Slade’s masked Mirakuru soldiers stood beside her, a knife pressed firmly against her neck. In the background, Oliver could see Caitlin and Cisco were trussed up and cowering in a corner. If he had doubted the voracity of Slade’s claims (he hadn’t) then here was the proof. 

“I would rethink your idea of shooting me. You see this? They call it a ‘kill switch’; if I let go of it, the sensor will send an alert to my men in Central City. And if they get that alert, then they will kill your pretty blonde Sleeping Beauty,” Slade smirked, glancing down at the feed on his screen before he shook his head with a sadistic smile. “Drop the bow kid. Do it.” 

Without hesitation, Oliver’s fingers opened and sent his bow clattering to the floor while his eyes stayed trained hungrily on the phone. Even as he watched, one of the soldiers gripped Felicity’s hair in his hand, wrenching back her head so that her neck arched awfully against the blade, which the man then allowed to trace down her throat in warning. Oliver’s mouth went dry as he saw a thin line of blood drip down her throat from a nick just below her jaw. The warning was clear: comply or she would die. As if he had needed a reminder or any further motivation.

“Yes… Countless nights dreaming of taking from you all that you took from me,” Slade grumbled, his eyes wild even as they remained fixated on Oliver, drinking in his pain and his terror. 

“By killing the woman I love.”

“Yes.”

“What makes you think I love Felicity?” Oliver queried, doing his level best to distract and to defuse and to delay. Every moment he bought was a moment more for John to get closer to Felicity. The ghost of a frown flickered across Slade’s features and as Oliver watched, his enemy turned off the phone and threw it to the floor in a clatter. For all Slade’s posturing, he had placed this figurative target upon the only woman in Oliver’s life who was not either family or a past dalliance. 

Slade could have chosen Laurel, with whom Oliver had a long, complicated, _messy_ romantic history. And indeed, it was Laurel that Oliver had at first believed Slade had kidnapped - not because he loved her (those days, if ever they had existed, had long since passed) but because on the island? Oliver had told Slade of Laurel. In Oliver’s mind, Slade would have seen Laurel as the obvious choice for the woman that Oliver loved.

Or, Slade could have taken Sara, with whom Oliver also had history. History in the form of a wildly inappropriate fling that had definitely occurred while he was still seeing Laurel. Sara who, in Slade’s mind, Oliver had chosen over Shado to live. Sara, who had been back in town for weeks now. Weeks that had been largely spent in Oliver’s company, though admittedly nothing had happened between the two. From an outside perspective, Sara would have been a strong candidate for ‘the woman Oliver loved’. 

But instead, Slade had chosen Felicity. The woman furthest from Starling City. The woman who, for the last few months, had been absent as she lay comatose. At first glance, it was an unorthodox choice. But Slade was a patient man. Oliver knew Slade had bugged the mansion. Slade was methodical, he was thorough. 

Slade likely knew of Oliver’s regular visits to Central City to sit at Felicity’s bedside. Oliver’s call logs would have shown frequent calls to Caitlin and Cisco at STAR Labs. His financials would have shown the massive donation to STAR Labs that Oliver had made to fund Felicity’s care. The family jet’s travel logs would have shown countless trips to the Central City airfield. And if none of that had convinced him, the fact that Felicity was his EA but had spent inordinate amounts of time with Oliver outside of her regular EA duties before the accident? That probably would have sealed the deal.

But did that mean Oliver loved her? No.

“You’re here, aren’t you?” Slade remarked and Oliver snapped back to focus, having been so engrossed in his thoughts he had nearly forgotten where he was - and why. “Would you have come here at all if you didn’t love her?” 

“I was trying to stop another innocent life from being lost.” 

“Not even you believe that.”

“You don’t know what I believe.” 

What _did_ Oliver believe? Even he didn’t know the answer to that question. Was he trying to prevent Felicity from being killed? Absolutely. She was the most innocent of them all; she was the true north of the team, always guiding him and leading him home. Did he care for her? Without question. Did he trust her? Implicitly. Could he imagine life without her? No. No he could not. 

And the fact that he thought of her, daily, and missed her? What of it? They were teammates and coworkers! And who was to say what it meant, that Oliver dreamed of her often? People often dreamed of those who they spent much of their time with. And yes, she was the only person whose number was programmed into his phone as an emergency contact, so that he could dial her without even looking at his phone. But Felicity was never two feet away from her phone, that was just him being _practical_. Nothing more. 

Yes, he’d visited her bedside at STAR Labs frequently. So he cared about her. He also cared about Diggle and would have visited John’s bedside had he been comatose. And sure, he hadn’t particularly enjoyed seeing Felicity and Barry hitting it off but that… That was because Felicity deserved better than Barry - a fact which had been confirmed when the Barry of the future had explained what had happened the night Felicity was struck by that fateful lightning bolt. That wasn’t jealousy that was just Oliver having a good sense for who to trust - and who not to. 

But Oliver had not come here merely to protect one innocent life. 

If Slade had held Laurel or Sara instead, would Oliver have come? The answer was a resounding ‘no’; the fate of the city was supposed to be his main concern. One life weighed against the many, and all that. But this was Felicity. And the idea of losing her? Well… The loss of Felicity was too unconscionable for him to even consider. He’d been on his motorcycle and tearing across town before he’d even had time to think it all through.

He’d stormed in here with no real plan, fully prepared to lay down his life if doing so could save _her._ It had been stupid and foolhardy and was perhaps the last rash decision he would make in a lifetime that had been filled with them. But unlike most of his reckless choices, this was not one he would regret. Because Oliver now knew two things: 

He was a man who was willing to do whatever it took to protect the ones that he loved. 

And he loved Felicity Smoak. 

The weight of the realization crashed down on him with all the force of a ton of bricks. Without warning, he sank to his knees before Slade and slowly pushed back his hood. Blinking up at the man who he had once called ‘friend’, Oliver struggled to breathe, knowing that the end was near. It was not the fear of death that made his heart race or his breathing stutter; the knowledge that he would die, never having told Felicity the truth about how he felt was what weighed on him now, in his final moments. One of the last times they’d been together, he’d wounded her deeply by talking of why he’d slept with Isabel in Russia. He’d been flippant, saying it hadn’t meant anything. But it had.

That night with Isabel had been a release, an escape from the very real feelings he’d felt building even then, for his blonde Executive Assistant. Russia had been denial. Russia had been him trying to come to terms with emotions deeper than he was accustomed to having. Russia had been him, calling out Felicity’s name while he’d held Isabel in his arms. 

Russia had been him trying to run away from Felicity. And he saw plainly now that all that time, he should have been running _toward_ her. But it was too late and Oliver didn’t have the power to change the past. All he could hope to change was the future. And maybe in sacrificing himself to save her, perhaps Felicity would understand that in his final moments, Oliver had been motivated by love. Love for _her._

And these were most assuredly his final moments. There was no Plan B, no backup plan, no backup _period_. He had no cards left up his sleeves. He had been outmanned, outgunned, and outfoxed by Slade at every turn. And now? Now Felicity was going to pay for his failings unless Oliver could convince Slade to spare her and only kill him. 

“I’m here,” Oliver croaked out as he stared up at Slade. “I did everything you asked. Please... let her go.” He had been reduced to begging but he didn’t care; Oliver would have done most anything to guarantee Felicity’s life. If he had to beg, borrow, cheat, lie, or steal, he would have done so happily. No cost would have been too great a price to pay for her safety.

“By now, your beloved is already growing cold in the Central City morgue.” With a scoff, Slade tossed aside the kill switch as he stepped closer to Oliver, sneering down at him. “Did you really think I would spare her life? Now... Now you know the pain that I have known.” 

The room seemed to spin and Oliver fought to focus but he was drowning in a sea of grief that warred with a ruthless tempest of fury. Slade… had already ordered her killed?! _Felicity_. She had been the most innocent and the most kind and compassionate person. She had been the beating heart and lifeblood of the team. And what’s more? 

She had captured his heart. Knowing that her heart had stopped beating on account of him? It was too much. 

“You said if I came here, she would be safe!” 

“I said that if you did not do exactly what I said, I would kill her.” 

“I did everything you asked!” 

“And that is why she lived long enough for you to see her one last time in that video,” Slade snarled as he leveled his blade at Oliver’s throat. ”A greater mercy than was shown to Shado or myself.”

“What would Shado say if she could see you now?!” Oliver questioned desperately, silently praying that Slade’s men had not made their move already. “She would be horrified by what you’ve done in her name.” 

“WHAT I HAVE DONE? _YOU_ are the reason we are here! YOUR actions have brought us to this point! And when you look into the lifeless eyes of your beloved, then you will know the debt has been paid!”

As Oliver watched, Slade drew back his sword. Oliver steadied himself with a deep breath and tried to picture Felicity in his mind’s eye. One moment of (hopefully brief) pain and it would be over. Perhaps he would even be at peace. He didn’t dare to hope he would see her again; if there was a heaven, that was where Felicity would go. And Oliver harbored no hope or illusions that that was where he would wind up. 

And peace _didn’t_ come - but nor did pain, brief or otherwise. Instead, there came only a rumbling, booming roll of _thunder._

The very sound shook the entire building and a sudden gust of wind blew past Oliver on his right side. In the same breath, Slade was suddenly on his knees, clutching a syringe that was lodged in his neck. And beside Slade, swaying unsteadily, stood a pale faced and messy haired Felicity. Her blue eyes swung anxiously across the room and landed on Oliver in surprise, followed by relief. 

“Oliver?” Felicity gasped softly. She took one trembling step towards him and he rose to meet her, only for her to collapse into his arms, her whole body shaking from head to toe. 

“Felicity?!” Oliver breathed, burying his face in her hair as he held her against him in shock and joy and relief. “Oh my God, Felicity,” he murmured, holding her tightly in his arms. He didn’t know how she had woken up or when, or how she had escaped the clutches of Slade’s men. He didn’t know what had been the cause of her waking up or why it had happened now, five months after the lightning strike instead of the nine that Barry had told him. 

Oliver had many more questions than he did answers. But at the end of the day, all that mattered was that he had Felicity alive and safe in his arms. And if he had his way? That was where she was going to stay. 


	4. Chapter 4

She had been suspended, floating in a dreamlike state when it happened. Through the warm haze she’d been trapped in, a sudden stab of something sharp and cold cut through the quiet, one word echoing through her dormant mind. 

_Oliver._

Felicity awoke all at once then, unaware that she’d even been asleep, unaware of anything and everything save for the name still rattling around in her brain.

“Oliver!” 

The word dropped from her lips without conscious thought, spoken in a ragged gasp as she bolted upright into a sitting position. Her chest heaved as she took in her surroundings with wild eyes. The room she was in was entirely unfamiliar to her but it didn’t look like any hospital she’d ever seen. She was definitely in some sort of medical area though - the monitors at the head of her bed were proof of that, as were the tubes and wires that ran from those monitors to her body. With a shudder, she realized that she was covered in sensors and such from head to toe.

The wires and sensors, however, were of low priority. Because at that precise moment, Felicity realized there were two very large, very hulking, very _intimidating_ figures looming over her in matching masks that screamed ‘bad guys’ and definitely not ‘Halloween fun’. With a lurch, Felicity processed that there was a knife in the hand of one of them, and before she could even think better of it, she found herself throwing out a hand to grab it from him.

Felicity wasn’t sure what she had expected; was she going to wrestle this much larger, physically imposing man for the knife? She was outmatched two to one and even if it had been mono e mono, she wouldn’t have stood a chance against such a hulking, presumably strong guy. But whatever outcome Felicity _might_ have expected, she had certainly not anticipated her hand reaching out fast as a whip and plucking it out of the man’s hands as easily as if she had been taking candy from a baby. 

But it really had been that simple. It was as if the man was frozen in place. She actually had time to hold the blade in her hand and stare at it in shock and still the man hadn’t moved. It was as if he was in slow motion - he _was_ moving, she could see that now. But something was definitely wrong - and it wasn’t just him. His equally behemoth-like partner was also moving at microspeeds and Felicity couldn’t fathom _why._

They were both moving towards her, albeit slowly, and while she could not for the life of her figure out what was causing them to move so slow, she didn’t particularly feel like sticking around to find out how _fast_ they were normally. Scrambling out of her hospital bed and around so that she was behind her would-be attackers, Felicity realized several things all at once and with a sharp exhale of surprise.

Lesson one: she’d been plugged into a multitude of wires and tubes that, upon leaping out of bed as she had, she had ripped out by force. It had hurt, to say the least.

Lesson two: blood was dripping down her throat from a thin cut she hadn’t even realized she had but which, glancing at the blade in her hand, had likely been caused by the two men before her. If she had any doubts as to their intentions, those doubts had vanished. 

Lesson three: she was in a hospital gown. A hospital gown and _nothing else_. The breeze was _not_ pleasant, if she was being honest - the cold of it sent a shiver up her spine and as her skin broke out into goosebumps, it was as if the room snapped from slow-mo to regular speed. In a rush of noise and motion, the masked men began to move at normal speeds and suddenly they were looking around in confusion until their eyes landed on _her._

“Oh frak,” she croaked in a voice that sounded entirely rusty from disuse, “this is bad. So, _so_ bad.” 

The men came at her swiftly and before she could even think of how to defend herself, Felicity felt her fingers tighten around the handle of the blade in her hand. With a wild swing, she threw herself headlong at the men, flailing the blade before her blindly. She felt before she saw that the room had gone all slow again; in her mad flailing, the men had slowed almost to the point of inaction and her blade had cut through them both, as evidenced by the blood dripping off of both sides of the sharp steel. 

Staring at the knife, Felicity’s focus shifted to it in disbelief and all at once, time resumed its normal passage once more. The men before her appeared unfazed, however, which was almost as preposterous as the notion that time was slowing down and speeding up around her. Felicity didn’t have time to dwell on it though because in unison, the two men came at her and she instinctively tried to block their blows, even knowing how futile that effort would be. 

But futile was the furthest thing from what ensued. 

Somehow, she met them blow for blow, parrying their attacks with ease. It was as if they were moving so slow, she could easily throw up a hand to block all of their attacks. And somehow? Her slight, five foot five frame didn’t buckle beneath the blows but instead, absorbed them easily. 

“What the _frak is happening here?!_ ” Felicity yelped even as she dodged another blow, countering it with one of her own that caught the masked man squarely in the lower jaw, making him stagger back a few steps. Still, for all her surprisingly well aimed and powered punches, neither man showed signs of weakening. 

“What is happening is they are superpowered soldiers! Your punches aren’t going to do anything to them unless you inject them with _that_!” 

Felicity whipped her head around to meet the voice and for the first time, she realized that a young woman and a young man were also in the room with her and her masked attackers. The duo were bound together back to back and sitting on the floor not too far from where Felicity was currently engaging their presumed captors. She didn’t have time to process more than that though, because at that precise moment one of the two men threw a punch and Felicity only narrowly had time to leap out of the way of it as she refocused and time slowed down. 

That seemed to be the trick of it - if she was distracted, time seemed to run at normal speeds. But if she was focused, such as on defending herself against the masked men? Then time ran slowly and she could block their punches. 

Which was good. Because unless someone had uploaded the knowledge to her brain while she’d slept, she had _no idea_ how to fight. She was only surviving right now because of this whole bizarre slow motion phenomenon that she still didn’t understand. 

Apparently, she had missed a lot. Like superpowered soldiers. But that reminded her - the voice had said she could stop them! It was the young woman who had spoken and she had gestured with her chin in the direction of a workspace across the way. There, Felicity saw a half a dozen syringes filled with a vibrant, bright blue liquid. 

“ _That_ is going to make them less super-soldier-y?” Felicity queried as she ducked a powerhouse swing from one of the men while she frantically kicked out a leg to sweep the foot of the other. “That looks like precisely the kind of stuff that would GIVE someone superpowers, not take them away!” 

“Just DO IT or we are all toast the minute they take you out!” shouted the young man from the other side of the room.

“Seriously Cisco? That’s _not_ helpful!” 

“It’s true!” 

“This is really frakking crazy,” Felicity gulped, her eyes wide as she stared at the two men and jumped back to avoid a concerted effort to pin her between the two of them. Crazy or not, she didn’t have any better options. With a shrug, Felicity turned tail on the men to run across the room to the workspace with the syringes. Only, instead of the handful of seconds she had thought the run would take her, she was suddenly at the workspace in the blink of an eye and with no recollection or understanding of how she’d managed it. 

“Okay. This is more than timey wimey stuff at play and I do _not_ love it,” Felicity gasped as the room spun before her eyes. Reaching out for the syringes, she grabbed a pair and took a deep breath before she began to run back towards the masked men. Again, she crossed the room in a nanosecond and before either man knew what had happened, she was injecting them each with one of the syringes of blue liquid. 

The moment she had plunged the last of the unknown substance into the two men, Felicity threw her best approximation of a punch at each of them, catching both of them full in the face. This time they didn’t merely stagger and carry on, however. Both men dropped like flies and lay motionless on the ground before her. Felicity blinked at them in surprise, feeling more than a little dizzy. And though her knuckles stung for a moment or two, she felt no worse for wear from the entire, bizarre ordeal (her dizziness aside). 

A little breathless, Felicity spun to face the young woman and man tied up on the floor and she did her level best approximation of a reassuring smile.

“Hi. Sorry about that. Umm… Forgive me if this is a dumb question but… who were those guys that I just injected with highly questionable chemicals? And how did I just kick their butts? Not that I”m not happy that I did but it’s just… usually I am the one watching the butt-kicking from the sidelines, not the one doling out the butt-kickings. Also, where are we? And who are you? And how did I get here?”

Her heart stuttered suddenly then, making her blood turn to ice and her eyes flutter closed as Felicity was reminded of what had awoken her from her deep, _deep_ sleep. That lancing sense of cold and the name that had echoed in her mind returned all at once in full force. 

“Never mind, forget all of that - I only have one question: do either of you know where I can find Oliver Queen?!”

\-----

Felicity’s mind was still reeling as she spilled out of STAR Labs and into the neighboring parking garage. Cisco had given her the keys to the Lab’s car and she had every intention of driving the six hundred miles between her and Oliver like a bat out of hell. Caitlin and Cisco hadn’t been able to reverse engineer much of the cure serum - the half dozen syringes she’d seen had been the extent of it and she’d just used two of them herself. The four remaining syringes were now with her, two in each coat pocket (Caitlin had generously dressed Felicity in a spare jacket she kept at the Lab and some scrubs).

Felicity searched the parking garage for the car, relieved in the extreme when her eyes landed on it parked nearby. She had a location; she’d used Cisco’s computer to track Oliver’s phone to a warehouse in Starling. She just needed to get the cure to him there. And _fast._ She’d probably have to shatter some speed limits and maybe hack a few police scanners so she didn’t start a high speed police chase. But come hell or high water, Felicity Smoak was going to help Oliver Queen save Starling City. And equally as importantly? 

She was going to help save Oliver Queen from the madman currently threatening him and the city.

With the full weight of her focus on such thoughts, Felicity began to run to the waiting car. But even as she did, the same strange quiet stole over her and suddenly, the world passing her by was all a blur of lights and color. But instead of panicking, Felicity consciously tried to lean _into_ the oddness of it all. 

Whatever this weird time vortex thing was? It had helped her escape the goons that had attacked her back at the lab. And while Felicity had no understanding of how it worked or how dangerous it might be, all she knew was that Oliver, the team, and the city were in trouble. If this weird slow-motion vibe helped her to help them? Then she had to give it a shot. 

A short time later - moments, minutes, or hours, she wasn’t entirely sure which - she came to a sliding stop in front of the warehouse she’d pinged Oliver’s phone at. As Felicity grabbed to pluck a syringe out of her borrowed jacket pocket though, a hot tongue of pain brushed across her fingers and Felicity realized that her jacket? _Was on fire_. With a quiet shriek, Felicity shrugged out of the article of clothing and stamped on it when it was on the ground so as to put out the flames. 

“Seriously, I decide to trust this whole slow motion weirdness and this is the thanks I get? My clothes catch fire?! Thanks universe!” Felicity muttered as she abandoned the ruined jacket to the asphalt and darted into the warehouse. Once more, she found herself zooming at unnatural speeds and as she broke onto the scene of Oliver and his attacker, Felicity felt her heart lurch painfully. 

Oliver was on his knees, his hood drawn back, before a man that Felicity didn’t recognize who was brandishing a sword at Oliver’s unarmed figure, the threat obvious. 

He was going to kill Oliver. 

Felicity hurtled forward and very intentionally brandished the syringe in her hand before she jabbed it pointedly into the throat of the man threatening Oliver. She had the presence of mind and energy enough to plunge the entirety of the liquid into his body before she began to feel a sudden, overpowering woozy sensation. As she turned on unsteady feet, the world seemed to shift and splinter before her. She took one uneven step, her eyes darting to and fro before her gaze anchored upon him.

“Oliver?” 

She felt relief flood her system and then the floor rose up to meet her as Felicity slipped back into the waiting embrace of the darkness, his voice echoing in her ears.

“ _Felicity?”_

\-----

“She’s here. And she’s safe.”

“Has she told you how she managed to get from Central City to Starling in the span of a few minutes?!”

“No, she’s still asleep.”

“When she wakes up-”

“I will let you know.”

“We need to run some tests, Oliver. We have no idea what kind of toll the coma took on her, or what this entire ordeal has done. We don't understand the scope of her abilities or what she's capable of. We need to know more.” 

“I understand, Caitlin. We’ll arrange something later. I want to give her time after she wakes up before we start pushing her,” Oliver murmured into his phone, his voice low as he sat across the Foundry, watching Felicity’s still sleeping figure. 

She was here. And awake. Or at least, she _had_ been; she still hadn’t come to after she’d passed out in his arms after somehow appearing in the warehouse where he’d been facing off with Slade. She’d dispatched of him without even breaking a sweat and then she’d uttered his name and fallen into his arms.

It still felt like a dream.

“Caitlin… How did this happen? When we talked last week, you said everything was status quo,” Oliver queried, running a hand through his hair to quell his anxiety.

“Everything _was_ status quo. I’ve already reviewed her stats. Up until moments before she woke up, everything was consistent with her comatose baselines, Oliver.” 

“How is that possible? Shouldn’t there have been… I don’t know, _signs_ or something?!” 

“I don’t know how it’s possible,” Caitlin admitted freely. “All I know is, she was comatose, Oliver. Completely out. And then when those guys showed up, they filmed her and then started talking about sending the video to some ‘Slade’ guy. They said he was going to show the video to you and then he was going to kill you. Then the next thing I knew, all of Felicity’s monitors started going _haywire_ and all of a sudden she’s sitting bolt upright, saying your name. Another second later and she was fighting those thugs.” 

“What?!” 

“I don’t understand it either, Oliver. But as soon as they mentioned killing you, everything started happening at once.” 

Oliver regarded Felicity in awe, unable to help the way his heart clenched hopefully. Was it possible that she’d heard he was in trouble and she’d woke to come to his aid? No. He was being ridiculous. This was real life, not some silly children’s story with princesses waking up from cursed slumbers. It was just a coincidence - however odd. Clearing his throat, Oliver returned his focus to the phone call at hand. 

“Well… If you guys figure anything else out, please let me know. I’ll take care of her over here until we can get her checked out to make sure she’s okay.”

With a few parting medical suggestions, Caitlin quickly bid him farewell, leaving Oliver to stand silent vigil over Felicity’s sleeping figure. All the while, his mind turned over the curious timing of her waking, wondering how it was possible that the coma Future Barry had said would last nine months had somehow lasted five. 

“I guess Future Barry doesn’t know everything after all, huh?” Oliver muttered as he seated himself beside her. Staring at her hand, Oliver swallowed. It was ridiculous. Stupid, really. But he had waited a long time to hold her hand again, to offer a gentle, reassuring touch. Taking a deep breath, Oliver reached forward and took Felicity’s hand warmly in his, his eyes running over her face with concern.

“You really gave me a scare tonight, you know that?” Oliver whispered to her, lifting her hand to his lips and kissing it softly. He felt a tiny crackle of electricity as a small shock jumped from her knuckles to his lips, making his whole face tingle. _Ouch._ He held steadfastly to her hand though, continuing to stare at her as he spoke again. “I don’t know how you did it. But I’m really glad you came back. And I’d really love it if you came back to me again, Felicity. _Please.”_

\-----

_And I’d really love it if you came back to me again, Felicity. Please._

The words echoed through her mind and sent a pulse of energy through her that slowly, began to penetrate the fog that had encroached on her ever since she’d passed out. This time when Felicity awoke, she did so slowly; she blinked and the Foundry came into blurry view before her. A few more blinks and she could see it clearly - or at least, as clearly as one could ever see a subterranean, dimly lit refuge such as the Arrow Cave. Stirring, she slowly pushed herself up into a sitting position on the metal exam table, a hand instinctively going to rub her right temple as she tried to process what had happened; in truth, her memory was quite fuzzy. 

“Hi.” 

Felicity wrenched her neck to look in the direction from which the familiar voice had come so suddenly that she made herself dizzy. It was a small price to pay though. There before her was Oliver; he was sitting in the shadows right next to her, his eyes trained on her in the relatively dim lighting of the Foundry. 

“H-Hi,” Felicity answered back a little breathlessly, still not entirely sure what had happened to land her in here like this but relieved and thrilled to see him nonetheless. 

“How are you feeling?” Oliver asked, his voice exceedingly soft as he continued to keep his eyes on her. Felicity lifted one hand towards the back of her head, allowing her fingertips to probe the little bald spot where the wires and leads had been connected to her when she’d first woken up back in STAR Labs. But the bald spot was gone - it was as if her hair had somehow grown back to fill in the spots. What?!

“Confused, mostly? I-I mean, one minute I was with Barry in his lab at the CCPD and the next… I woke up at STAR Labs to a couple of goons threatening me and I find out that you and the city are under attack from an army of super soldiers? I… I don’t really understand it, Oliver. _Any_ of it.”

“I can help you, if you let me,” he offered slowly, seeming to choose his words carefully. “But Felicity… What I have to tell you is going to sound insane.” He warned her and Felicity couldn’t help but snort quietly. 

“If you promise not to call _me_ crazy when I describe what I remember and how it seemed to happen, then I promise not to call _you_ crazy for what you have to tell me. Deal?” 

“What do you think happened?!” Oliver queried, his interest spiking suddenly. Felicity offered him a mock frown and clucked her tongue at him.

“You didn’t accept the terms of my deal,” she teased and Oliver schooled his curious expression, replacing it with a look of contrition as he played along gamely.

“I’m sorry. I’ll take your deal… So... what do you think happened?” 

Felicity fell quiet then, her gaze lowering to her hands, folded in her lap before her. She swallowed thickly and cleared her throat, trying to think of how best to put into words what she needed to tell him. 

“When I woke up… I was in some kind of lab type place - STAR Labs, I guess. And there were people. Two m-masked men and they had a knife,” she paused in the retelling of it, her hand going gingerly to her throat and touching upon the skin that, remarkably, showed no sign of the injury it had suffered so recently. 

“A-And I don’t know how or why but it was like… time slowed down? But only for them. I was moving at normal speed but they were moving in slow motion. So I took the knife away from them and then… I know it sounds ridiculous but I _fought them_. Not like you would fight them but I mean, they were moving so slow I could block every punch. And I did! I even punched _them_ a few times! And then there was this woman and this man and they were tied up in the lab and they told me the two men would keep fighting unless I injected them with this antidote thing. And I did and then… Oliver, I _punched them in the face_! Which is admittedly, hard to believe. But I actually knocked them out with one hit. I just… I don’t understand it. Any of it. At all,” Felicity sighed, her shoulders slumping in relief as her nervous rambling came to a merciful end. 

“Felicity,” Oliver began delicately, his voice warm but guarded, “the man and the woman - did they say who they were?” 

“They introduced themselves to me as Cisco and Caitlin,” Felicity offered and Oliver nodded, looking suddenly more relaxed. 

“That’s good. And did Caitlin or Cisco tell you anything about why you were at STAR Labs? Or what had happened to you?” 

“Well they would have, I think, but I had the strangest feeling that you were in trouble and I asked them about you and they told me about the whole ‘super soldier army’ thing and that you needed the cure for - ‘Mirakuru’? Is that a thing now? Irrelevant,” Felicity course corrected herself mid-ramble, shaking her head before she resumed her train of thought. “So, I didn’t have time to get filled in totally by them. I… I only cared about getting to you in time,” she admitted shyly and at this, Oliver smiled, revealing his dimples and somehow, the sight settled her. For all the strangeness she’d woken up to, at least one thing was still the same: Oliver. 

“Lucky for me that was the case. A minute later and you would have arrived to a very different scene,” Oliver remarked with a wry smile but Felicity felt only distress at the thought. Seeming to sense this, Oliver reached a tentative hand towards her, covering one of her hands with one of his. 

“Hey,” he intoned quietly, “it’s okay. You’re safe now. We both are.” 

Felicity nodded wordlessly but even as she did so, she felt something within her begin to give. The stress and the strain had kept her going, thanks in no small part to a very healthy dose of adrenaline. But now, with the smoke clearing and no pending imminent danger looming over them, she was finally feeling the full weight of her uncertainties and fears. She found herself crumbling into his waiting embrace, her arms coming to encircle him in a desperate hug as she buried her face against his chest and just _cried._

She didn’t know what had happened. But she was a smart enough person to know that whatever it was? It was big. And she was afraid to learn the answers to the questions rattling around in her brain. 

He made soft, soothing noises as he rubbed her back with one hand while his other cupped the back of her head. Eventually, Felicity collected herself enough to stand on her own two feet, though Oliver hovered at her elbow, should she need assistance. She took a deep, steadying breath and spoke, though there was still a tremble in her voice that gave away her nerves. 

“T-Tell me, Oliver. Whatever it is… I can handle it.” 

He stared at her for a long while and she could see the internal war he was waging with himself. The fact that he seemed so disconcerted about telling her only heightened her sense of dread and anxiety. 

“Felicity… You were in a coma. STAR Labs has been caring for you for the last five months. We had reason to suspect you would be in that coma for nine months but you gave us a surprise and woke up early,” Oliver explained, offering her a tight, wry smile. But Felicity felt as though she’d had the wind knocked out of her. 

_Months?!_ She’d been in a coma for _five months_? She’d lost so much time!

“Please tell me that this is a really bad joke,” Felicity gasped softly and in response, Oliver’s expression clouded and his brows grew pinched with worry. 

“It’s true?!” Felicity inhaled sharply, not wanting to believe it but also, unable to see any other feasible explanation. 

“What’s the last thing you remember? Tell me - in detail,” Oliver asked her delicately and Felicity passed a hand across her face, allowing her fingers to trail through her messy hair as she tried to focus herself. What _was_ the last thing she remembered? 

“I-I was in Central City… Barry had asked for my help on a project. He… He needed me to code something for him… and for Doctor Wells. It was important. I think he said it was for the… the Particle Accelerator? So I did it... And I stopped by his lab when I was done and everything… It’s all fuzzy after that…I just remember… I remember being... _scared..._ ” Felicity trailed off uneasily, her attention whipping back to Oliver from her vantage sitting atop the table. 

He was quiet as he rose from his chair and paced nearer to her; his hands were shoved into his pockets and he refused to meet her gaze at first, instead staring at the floor. As he came to a stop before her, she could see how tense he was and that set her on edge. 

“Felicity… There was a storm in Central City that night. And while you were in Barry’s lab, you were struck by lightning that shattered the overhead skylight and hit you directly.”

Felicity felt her eyes bug open wide and the air seemed to leave the room as she tried to wrap her head around what Oliver had just told her. Of all the possibilities she had been considering - and she’d thought up some doozies - this had not even cracked the top thousand. 

“I-I was _struck by lightning?!_ ” She repeated in disbelief, shaking her head. “Okay yeah, you’re right… That _is_ insane. I mean the odds of that happening are like...like…” 

“...1 in 700,000 in the US in one given year - at least according to Google. I looked it up,” Oliver offered in a murmur. “The odds of being struck in a lifetime are more like 1 in 3,000 though.” 

“I’d rather win the lottery,” Felicity groused quietly and Oliver’s lips flickered into a brief smile. 

“Well, start playing. Because your odds… Yours are probably far more astronomical than any of the figures I just cited.” 

“...What does that mean?” 

“It means… Felicity, the night you were in Central City was the same night the STAR Labs particle accelerator was turned on. Something went wrong and it exploded - and before you ask, no, it was not your fault. It had nothing to do with the coding that Barry had you do,” Oliver headed her question off just as she opened her mouth to voice it. 

He knew her too well.

“When the particle accelerator exploded, it released a wave of dark matter through the city,” Oliver explained gently and Felicity felt her brain take off like a jackrabbit as she tried to mentally predict and deduce what might have occurred. 

“...What does that mean?” 

“Well, to tell you that, I have to tell you the insane part.” 

“...I’m sorry, me getting struck by lightning _wasn’t_ the insane part?” 

At this, Oliver raised his brows at her as he made eye contact and he shook his head minutely, looking terse in the extreme. 

“Felicity, when I got the call that you’d been in an accident, I went to the hospital in Central City as fast as I could. And when I got there, someone was waiting for me. Someone... from the future.” 

Oliver’s words hung heavy in the air between them and Felicity felt her brain seem to go blank as she tried and failed to process what he had just said to her. 

“I-I’m sorry, have I fallen into an episode of Doctor Who or did you say ‘someone from the future’? Are we seriously discussing time travel right now? W-Who do we know that can time travel?! And since when is that possible?!”

The sound of a throat clearing drew both her attention and Oliver’s as two figures came into view. Felicity, so swept up in talking to Oliver, had completely missed the newcomers’ arrival to the Foundry mere moments prior but there was no missing them now as the pair walked into view. 

“That would be me.” From the shadows, a tall, thin figure stepped forward and Felicity frowned in confusion as Barry came into view, though this version of Barry looked a bit different than the Barry she remembered. Less baby faced. Older. But still distinctly _Barry_. Huh.

“B-Barry?” 

The brunette braniac flashed her a pinched smile. But even as she tried to process the notion that _Barry_ was a time traveler, she caught sight of the other person who had entered the Foundry along with him. 

“John!!” Felicity cried out merrily, her face lighting up as she caught sight of her friend. In answer, he crossed the space to her and embraced her warmly, his strong arms coming to wrap around her in a quick hug before he backed away to stand beside Oliver, glancing from one teammate to the other.

“It’s good to see you conscious,” Diggle remarked with a smile that Felicity quickly mirrored. 

“It’s good to _be_ conscious,” she returned brightly, though her grin dimmed as her focus returned to Barry, who hovered a bit away from the other two men, taking in the whole scene with an uneasy air. “Okay so, I’m sorry… Can someone please elaborate on this ‘time travel’ thing? Because I...I have a lot of questions.” 

At this, both Oliver and Diggle frowned and cast scathing looks Barry’s way, which only further fueled Felicity’s confusion and curiosity. Barry wilted a bit beneath the glares but seemed to mostly take it in stride as he stepped forward, his focus shifting entirely to her as he cleared his throat.

“Alright Felicity… So here’s the thing…” Barry began tersely, slowly finding his stride as his story progressed. A story which, in truth, made her jaw drop the more that he explained himself to her. Metahumans. Superhuman abilities. Time travel. It was… a lot. 

“...I’m sorry, so we’re really saying that because Barry ‘ran back in time’ and changed the past… I got struck by lightning instead of him… So now I will probably develop superhuman powers - most likely superspeed - because of it?!” Felicity babbled at lightning speed before coming to a gasping conclusion, her chest heaving as she finished spitting out the words.

All three men nodded in unison and Felicity felt her mind go blank for a full ten seconds before she could speak again.

“...Wow. Okay, yeah. I’m getting why you said that what you had to tell me was insane,” she sighed, her right hand grasping her left forearm and rubbing it in an attempt at self soothing. “So umm… Remember how I was describing to you me fighting with the masked bad guys that showed up at STAR Labs? Well… that wasn’t the craziest part of all of this,” Felicity hedged uneasily.

Hopefully Oliver hadn’t hit his limit for crazy because she was about to lay down a pretty massive, crazy explanation for him. 

“After I got the cure from Caitlin and Cisco, I was running to the car to rush to bring it to you… And all that I could think of was getting to you at that warehouse - I had used Cisco’s computer to ping your phone, so I knew how to find you. And as I thought about it, everything just sort of got quiet while I ran and when I looked around me, everything was just a...a blur of light. I don’t know how long it was like that but when it stopped, I was in front of the warehouse and no worse for wear. Well, minus my jacket, which caught on fire somehow. I guess I owe Caitlin a new one,” Felicity rambled and right away, all three men’s eyebrows shot up. 

“Oh yeah, I should warn you, that can happen sometimes - you’ll want to be very careful not to wear anything particularly flammable when you tap into the Speed Force or else you’ll burn through your wardrobe. Speaking from experience, you’ll want to invest some time in having Cisco design you some fire-retardant clothing,” Barry muttered with a knowing grin which no one returned. Glancing around the circle, his smile faded away and Barry cleared his throat, his expression growing serious once more. “Sorry, go on.” 

“After I took a syringe out of the burning jacket, I started to run again and it was like the same thing happened; suddenly I was inside the warehouse and I was watching Slade? Slade,” Felicity repeated when she saw Oliver’s answering nod, “-threaten to kill you and all I could think about was injecting him with the cure and getting you out of there. Once I started moving towards you, it was like everything froze until I jabbed him in the neck with that needle and then… then I felt really woozy and everything went dark.” 

Felicity’s eyes were trained on Oliver, whose expression was so closed off and yet, so undeniably tense that it had her clamming up. His eyes seemed to take her in hungrily and the set of his jaw grew taut the longer he stared at her. 

“Felicity, that… that sounds like you tapped into the speed force - that’s umm, basically the extra dimensional energy that allows a speedster to well… _speed,_ among other things,” Barry trailed off, his eyes bright and his tone enthusiastic. “And as for you passing out - I’ve already told Oliver and Diggle, you really just overexerted yourself, that’s all; these powers put tremendous energetic demands on your body. You probably superspeeded yourself right into a caloric deficit and your body shut down because you had totally depleted your energy reserves. The good news is, this means that we were right - your powers are likely the exact same as mine - superspeed and super healing, among other things. And since I’ve already lived through the learning curve of developing those powers, I can help you navigate it so that it’s easier for you than it was for me.” 

At this Felicity nodded weakly; her mind was spinning and she would have spiraled out had it not been for Oliver. His eyes were unswervingly focused on her and she allowed his gaze to anchor her even as the storm of emotions raged on within her. Without him, she would have been swept up in her confusion and fear but with him? She had her north star.

“Umm, thanks Barry but… I don’t even know _if_ I want to learn to use these ‘powers’. I mean… I’m an IT girl, not a… a _hero_. I leave that role to Oliver - I just want to be the behind the scenes girl. That’s what I do. _That_ is how I help.” 

At this, Barry’s expression turned suddenly panicked and he stepped forward to grasp one of her hands in both of his, jostling Oliver in the process. Felicity saw Oliver’s eyes flash and leave her as he glared daggers at Barry. Sensing the danger Barry was in (even if he didn’t) Felicity cleared her throat and put her free hand on Oliver’s chest, effectively putting a cork on the bottle of his rage. Only then did she grudgingly shift her attention to Barry and his desperate plea.

“No, Felicity you don’t understand. You _have_ to learn to use your powers. That’s the only way we can undo the changes I made to the timeline and return my powers to me. You have to run back in time and change things so I get my powers, so I can get back to my time. Otherwise I’ll be trapped here, in this time. Forever. Being here just for the five months that I already have has likely already caused a ripple effect of changes. The longer I’m here, the worse it’ll be. I’ve got to get back as soon as possible.” 

“I’m sorry, ‘undo the changes’... What you mean like… _run back in time_ **_again_** _?!_ ” Felicity echoed in disbelief, unable to fathom that Barry could possibly be suggesting something as ludicrous as that. Surely he couldn’t be _that_ stupid. Her? Run back in time? That was just asking for trouble! 

“Yes, that’s exactly what I mean!” he answered and Felicity huffed a sigh. Okay. So apparently he _could_ be that stupid. Huh. 

“Absolutely not.” 

Oliver had stepped forward so he was now standing between Felicity and Barry; a quick glance showed her that his hands were balled into shaking fists and he was staring Barry down with a vicious expression on his face. If looks could have killed, Barry would have been dead thrice over.

“Suppose she does this? Suppose she runs back in time. If something goes wrong, none of us can get to her. She’ll be stuck or lost or worse. I will _not_ risk Felicity’s life like that!” Oliver wasn’t yelling - quite the opposite, in fact. His voice was so low and so quiet but with such steel in it that it felt profoundly lethal. The force of his words was equivalent to his having screamed; his chest was heaving and he was white knuckled. 

“She _has_ to. I’m stranded here if she doesn’t! It’ll completely change the future if she doesn’t fix it!” 

“You were the one trying to change the future to begin with!” Oliver countered and Felicity gave a short bob of her head in agreement. Oliver had a point.

“That’s different!” 

“How?”

“Because...Because I’ve done it before! I know the impact one small change can have. And this? This is a _massive_ change!” 

“Brought about _by you_. If an ‘experienced’ time traveler like yourself can’t get it right, I am _not_ going to let you put Felicity in jeopardy, least of all when she’s completely new to all of this and she can’t have any backup to support her!” Oliver was livid now and his eyes were flashing with rage up until he spun to look at her, still breathing raggedly. Instantly, his features softened, fear and concern flooding in through the anger. 

“Please Felicity… I would never forgive myself if I let you put yourself in danger and something happened to you. Please don’t do this… Don’t go where I can’t follow.” 

Of all the things to come out of this conversation, it was this last line from Oliver that sent Felicity spiraling the most. Her gaze remained solidly trained on him and as the staring contest went on and on, she could only shiver at what she saw in Oliver’s eyes. This wasn’t him pulling some stupid frakking macho nonsense - she could tell just look at him that he was being serious. He desperately did not want her to go somewhere that he could not accompany her - and protect her. 

“Enough.” 

It was a solitary word from her but it drew Oliver up as quickly as if _he_ had been struck by lightning. Diggle, who had been silent throughout, turned his focus squarely away from the bickering men and onto Felicity. Barry, however, continued to glare daggers at the side of Oliver’s head before he too, grudgingly, turned to face her. 

“We are not deciding anything right now,” Felicity informed the trio quietly, rubbing the side of her head once again. “I am tired. I am confused. I am _hungry_. And I would really like to shower and put on clothes that actually belong to me,” she sighed wearily as she pinched at the ill fitting scrub top she’d borrowed from Caitlin at STAR Labs. 

“I can pull my car around,” Diggle began to offer, but Oliver interjected, his eyes never leaving hers. 

“I can take her home, John.” 

“What about Slade?” Diggle reminded Oliver quietly and at this, Oliver turned to look at his friend. 

“ARGUS is arranging transport to a remote prison. If you’re willing, I’d appreciate it if you would help oversee it.” 

“You’re not going to go?” Diggle was plainly flabbergasted that, after all that Slade had put him through, Olvier wasn’t going to see the man who had murdered his mother put in a cell. Oliver swallowed and shook his head minutely. 

“I trust you to see that he gets to where he belongs. I-...I wanna be here. With Felicity.” Felicity tried to ignore the butterflies that rose in her stomach as Oliver’s gaze swung to hers, his expression softer than she’d ever seen it before. Not even when he interacted with his family had she ever seen him so gentle and open. 

“I want to be with you...If what Barry says is true and you’ve become… _something_ else, I would maybe like to discover a little more about that person together - if you’re willing” 

Felicity’s mouth had gone dry and she could only stare at Oliver in slack jawed amazement, not entirely certain how to proceed. She had to be making this up. Were delusions also among her new powers? Certainly he didn’t mean _‘with her’_ with her...right? He just meant, he wanted to get an understanding of her powers. He probably didn’t think he could leave her unsupervised, given that she’d superspeeded her way across more than six hundred miles and then promptly passed out within less than an hour of waking up from her months long coma. 

But whatever his reasoning, hearing Oliver Jonas Queen say that he wanted to be with her? Yeah that… that was something she was going to replay _over and over_ in her head. Unable to find the words, Felicity could only nod at him by way of response and he echoed her movements, bobbing his head in agreement before he turned back to John.

“I’m going to stay here.”

“Then I’ll take Slade to his new slice of prison paradise,” John commented, looking at his two partners with a lingering look before he clapped Oliver on the shoulder. “I’ll call you from the SAT phone when it’s done.” 

With a quick hug to Felicity, Diggle departed, with a dispirited Barry trailing along behind him, leaving only Oliver and Felicity behind in the darkened Foundry. When the sound of the Foundry door clicking closed echoed through the cavernous space, Oliver stuffed his hands in his pockets and shyly turned his attention back to Felicity. 

“So...If Barry is to be believed, you’re probably pretty hungry. Diggle gave you some IV fluids but I imagine that with your superhuman metabolism, you’re probably due to eat. Are you? Hungry, that is?” Oliver stumbled over the words, his usual confidence and relative poise having virtually evaporated before her and Felicity couldn’t help but give him a lopsided smile. 

“I would murder for a double double with fries from Big Belly Burger right about now, to be honest. Oh! And a milkshake. A milkshake and fries? Oof. Yeah.” 

Some of the tension seemed to dissipate as Oliver chuckled softly at her response. He offered her one of his hands then and she looked at it in surprise for a moment until he spoke.

“Then let’s go. My treat.” 

His hand hung out in the air between them expectantly and despite the logical side of her saying that this was totally not a romantic gesture, her heart still fluttered as she slipped her hand through his. 

“Okay that’s good, because I haven’t worked in months so I don’t think I’ve gotten a paycheck in that time, unless being struck by lightning, going into a coma, and developing superpowers is covered by FMLA. Do you think my boss will buy the ‘I was in a coma after getting hit by lightning’ excuse and take me back? He can be a tough cookie,” Felicity teased lightly, though Oliver’s answering grimace didn’t exactly reassure her. “I mean… If I still have a job. Do I? Did you fire me?” 

Oliver sighed, though he kept a firm hold on her hand as he led her across the Foundry and up the steps, helping her with them, though in truth she needed no assistance.

“About work... We’ve got a lot to catch you up on…”


	5. Chapter 5

“So I just want to make sure I’ve got this straight. I am jobless. You are no longer a billionaire. Isabel stole QC and your assets out from under you. ARGUS knows who all of us are. Diggle’s back with his ex-wife, Lyla. You took on a protege who also happens to be Thea’s sort of boyfriend. Thea got kidnapped by Slade. Laurel’s younger sister, Sara, is back and the League of Assassins sort of showed up too but it’s okay, we’re on good terms with them now and they sort of helped save the city. And none of this has me as worked up as the knowledge that a hacker attacked the Foundry and _fried my computers!!_ ”

Oliver stared back at her, his expression something between a wince and a grimace as she repeated the series of events he had recounted to her over the course of dinner, which they had brought back with them to the Foundry. 

As it turned out, Barry hadn’t been lying about the whole ‘caloric deficit’ thing; Felicity had scarfed down six double doubles without even breaking a sweat and at least as many orders of fries, plus two milkshakes - one strawberry and one chocolate. 

“A lot happened while you were in the coma,” Oliver sighed as he set aside the remainder of his dinner - a sole double double, which he had eaten three quarters of. “But you were always on our minds.” 

Felicity fell still, staring at him with an expression equal parts disbelief and adoration. How could he be so soft at a moment like this but also so capable of flipping a switch and becoming the violent vigilante defender that the public knew his alter ego to be? It still flummoxed her.

Flummoxed. Now there was a word that didn’t get nearly enough press. Huh. 

“You don’t have to lie to me, Oliver. I know you guys had your hands full. I’m sorry if I left you in the lurch. I never should have gone to Central City… If I hadn’t gone, I could have spared us all a lot of undue stress…” Felicity trailed off with a sigh. A quiet creak stole her attention and she looked up to see Oliver scooting his wheelie chair closer to her where she sat at her workstation. 

“Felicity… I’m not lying. I - _we_ \- thought about you all the time. Every day. We missed you - and not just for your tech skills. We missed _you_. But you don’t owe us any apologies. None of this is your fault. There is only one person to blame for any of this-” Oliver began and Felicity could see he was getting onto a soapbox of sorts.

“-Oliver,” she warned but he carried on anyway. 

“-and that is Barry. Future Barry, to be clear. Jury’s still out on present day Barry.” 

“I thought present day Barry was very nice. And he _did_ save your life.” 

“Debatable,” Oliver dismissed in a gruff scoff and Felicity rolled her eyes.

“Hardly. You would have died if it weren’t for him. Present day Barry gets a pass on this one. If you want to be mad at Future Barry, go right ahead. I can’t say he doesn’t deserve it. I mean, messing with the past - the future? Messing with _time_ like that? I just… I can’t imagine it,” Felicity heaved a sigh and ran a hand through her hair as she shook her head. 

Even supposing she _could_ run through time and change things… would she? It seemed to be morally dubious at best and at worst? It was narcissistic, dangerous, and showed a callous disregard for the lives that would be impacted by any changes. Even _thinking_ about committing such a questionable act had Felicity sweating. 

Oliver had quieted when she spoke and he stared at her now, stock still and brooding. 

“Felicity, you don’t have to imagine it. You don’t have to learn to run through time and change the past. Barry made his choice by running back here and changing things - now he has to live with the consequences of that. It shouldn’t fall to you to have to fix his mistakes.” 

“But Oliver, you heard him; if I don’t, he’ll be trapped here. _Forever_.”

“That’s not your fault, Felicity. It isn’t your responsibility to clean up after him. Future Barry made this bed - and he will have to lie in it.”

He was right. Felicity _knew_ he was right. But she still didn’t like his approach. He was being growly and - in her opinion? - a little too lacking in compassion. 

“Oliver, he’ll be stuck here-”

“He should have thought about that before he played God then, shouldn’t he?!” Oliver shot back with a heaping hint of scorn and disapproval and Felicity drew herself up in her chair.

“He’ll never see his loved ones - the version of them that he knows - ever again. Can you even imagine that? To be alone like that and set apart from everyone and everything? That’s almost a fate worse than death!” 

Even as the words left her lips, Felicity winced, realizing how callous _she_ had just sounded. Of course Oliver understood what it felt like to be trapped somewhere, alone. Isolated from everything he loved and cared about. 

“3… 2...1. I’m sorry. That… was obviously a poor choice of words. I didn’t mean-... I just think I should consider this from all sides before I make a decision,” she struggled to explain herself. As she watched, a series of emotions paraded across Oliver’s face before he finally took an exasperated breath and nodded, his voice a throaty brass rumble when he spoke at last. 

“And while I respect that, let me ask you this: if our positions were reversed, would you let _me_ run headlong into the unknown to tamper with _time_ for someone like Barry? Someone who we don’t know with any certainty is truly as good as he claims to be?”

Felicity fidgeted in her seat apprehensively, but Oliver was nowhere near done. 

“Would you be comfortable with me risking my life, risking getting trapped in the wrong time? Would you be okay with the possibility of never seeing me, never speaking to me again? Of me being lost - forever - in a place you could never reach?”

Again, Felicity shifted, slightly abashed.

“And all of that aside, would you be alright with me making changes to the past, recognizing that I had no way of knowing what the ramifications of my actions might be in the future? Knowing those ramifications could actually cause you to _forget_ me - permanently?”

Felicity remained silent long after he had finished, unable to deny that he raised several good points - if the tables were turned, she absolutely would have pointed all of these very things out to Oliver. And if Felicity was honest with herself? Her gut instinct screamed at her that tampering with time was a very bad, very dangerous idea that could only lead to heartbreak and havoc. 

Did she feel tremendously terrible at the idea of Barry being trapped here, isolated from the versions of his loved ones that he knew from his time? Absolutely. Was she willing to risk throwing herself at the mercy of that very same fate to correct a mistake that she’d had no hand in causing?

Honestly? Her inclination was to say no. She wasn’t. Even taking herself out of the equation, supposing there was no danger to her? Felicity _still_ didn’t feel good about altering the course of history. That just didn’t seem like a good precedent to set. There was a reason that all time travel movies imposed rules and limitations on the concept. The power to alter the flow of time was a not insubstantial thing; to use such a capability freely, without restraint or moral compass was profoundly dangerous and inherently wrong. 

Long story short? 

“No,” Felicity admitted in a voice scarcely above a whisper, her eyes downcast as she gnawed ruefully at her lower lip. Even if there was no risk to herself, Felicity would still have taken issue with the notion - real or hypothetical - of doing as Barry had asked of her, and ‘running through time’ to alter the past. 

“No what?” Oliver pressed her on the issue, and Felicity struggled to breathe for a moment before she said the words. 

“No… I wouldn’t be okay with you risking yourself. No, I wouldn’t want you to go some place where I couldn’t follow. And no, I wouldn’t be alright with you going to the past and blindly changing the future,” she professed in a hushed tone. Messing with time like that? It was too dangerous. And what’s more? It was wrong. She didn’t feel good about any part of it. And her conscious screamed at her not to do it. And then there was the desperate pleading in Oliver’s eyes to consider. If she was being honest, it was this last that proved to be the straw that broke the camel’s back. There was no way she could run back in time and leave him behind, when he had beseeched her not to. 

Felicity watched as Oliver went stock still, his eyes trained on her as he processed what she had said. She could tell that he was supremely relieved by the way his shoulders slowly slumped, though he did his best to maintain a neutral expression. For all his efforts though, he couldn’t help the way his eyes glowed with joy at her words. 

“Thank you,” he breathed quietly before he passed a hand across his face before he exhaled deeply. “I’m sorry for being an ass about it. I just… I want you to be safe.”

Felicity blinked at him in surprise; a thank you, followed by an apology from Oliver Queen? That was unheard of. This must have meant more to him than she had realized. 

“I-I’m sorry. I think something is wrong with my hearing. Because for a second there, it sounded like you said _‘thank you’_ and then followed it with an ‘ _I’m sorry_ ’. And that, my friend, is definitely not characteristic Oliver Queen. Are you running a fever?”

As she watched, Oliver’s lips tugged into a wry smirk and he shook his head at her and rolled his eyes with a soft chuckle. 

“Felicity, when you came on board the team, I made Diggle a promise that we could protect you. And I have sought to honor that every day since then. I already failed it once by not protecting you from all of… _this_ ,” here, Oliver waved a hand at her in a motion that she understood was meant to encompass everything involving the lightning strike, the coma, and her subsequent development of superhuman powers. “I don’t think I could bear it if I failed you again by letting you time travel and possibly get hurt or killed or _trapped in the past._ I just… I want to keep you safe. I promised to. Please let me.”

“Oliver,” she murmured, reaching out towards him to cover one of his hands with one of hers. “I don’t want to be a burden or a weakness you feel you have to guard against the world. I’m your _partner_ … Not your Achilles’ heel.” 

His eyes bore into hers with almost feverish intensity then as he leaned forward so his face was unnecessarily close. 

“I know that, Felicity. But you’re more than just my partner,” Oliver explained and Felicity felt a flutter of surprise and uncertainty in her stomach at his words. 

More than a partner? What was more than a partner? What was he about to say?!

“You’re my... friend,” Oliver added, his voice softening as he said the words. Felicity felt the nervous flutter inside her disappear in an instant and despite herself, a bitter tang of disappointment rose in the back of her throat. 

_Friend._ Of course. She was his friend, Felicity. Friend. With a deep breath, Felicity moved past the briefly embarrassing moment before she could blunder and make an even greater fool of herself. Fortunately, Oliver didn’t seem to have noticed her earlier hopefulness, or her subsequent regret. 

Clearing her throat, Felicity withdrew her hand from his with a forced smile and she turned back to her nonfunctional workstation, poking around half heartedly at her busted keyboard. Whoever this Tockman guy had been that the team had fought? He had really done a number on the electronics. And Slade and his goons certainly hadn’t done the Foundry’s tech any favors. 

The poor tech. She’d installed these monitors herself and now? They were trashed. She felt like a mother, mourning the loss of her firstborn. But then again, that was probably an extremely overdramatic comparison. Seeing as her ‘firstborn’ in this equation was just a really, _really_ nice computer and not like… an actual _person._

She needed to get out of her own head. Words. She needed to say words to Oliver. Any words would do. Well, not _any_ words. But _almost_ any words would do. 

“Well, for the record… You don’t have to worry about me running through time. Or at all, really. I can’t learn how to use my powers anyhow - I’m jobless. The last thing I need is to take up an extracurricular activity that will result in my wardrobe catching fire. I won’t be able to afford keeping myself clothed.” 

Felicity did her best to put on a brave face and be her usual, lightheartedly bantering self but it felt forced. And it was. 

“Anyway… I should probably go home,” at this Felicity paused and spun in her chair to look at Oliver, suddenly thinking of another question for him. “Do I still have a home or did I get evicted when I failed to pay rent for months on end?”

Frak. Trying to find a place to live with no job lined up was _not_ going to be easy. But instead of grimacing or trying to hide his face from her, to her surprise Oliver gave her a warm smile. 

“You still have a home to go to, Felicity. I took care of a year’s worth of your rent when you landed in the coma, to make sure you didn’t lose your place. You’re good. Go home. Rest. But stop at the corner store because your fridge and cabinets are going to be pretty empty,” he advised her gently and she smiled as she rose to her feet.

“You took care of my rent _for a year_?!” 

“Well, according to Barry he was in a coma for nine months, so I figured a year would be safe and give you some time to recover without worrying about the bills, that’s all,” Oliver shrugged, keenly downplaying the generosity of what he had done for her. 

“You know, you better be careful? You keep this up, people might start cluing in to what a nice guy you really are.” Felicity was being playful and she poked him in the chest with one finger, attempting a wink as she did so. But whatever joy she felt disappeared the moment she considered something else.

_She_ still had a place to live (thanks entirely to Oliver, it would seem). But did he have somewhere to go to? From the sounds of it, Isabel had been swift in meting out her vengeance after her takeover at QC and every one of the Queen family’s assets had fallen under fire, been frozen, or been stolen out from under them. She wasn't sure where the family mansion fell on that list of assets: retained or lost. 

“What about you, Oliver? Do you still have a home to go to?” 

“We umm… We did, yeah. But now… not so much. Thea… Thea’s not in town but that’s a long story for another time. I… I’ve just been staying down here.” At this, Oliver shrugged, offering her an unbothered but miniscule smile.

“Time out. Here as in… _the Foundry_?!” 

“Home sweet home,” Oliver confirmed and Felicity gaped at him in disbelief and displeasure. 

“You cannot stay here. This place is in ruins, Oliver.” 

“I don’t really have the luxury of having options right now, Felicity. It’s alright, there are worse places to sleep than the floor of the Foundry. Trust me. I’ve slept in them.”

“The… _The floor?!_ ” Felicity spluttered and Oliver chuckled at the vehemence of her words as she made incoherent noises for a moment. “That’s absurd. You need a bed.” 

“I really don’t, it’s fine.” 

“None of this is ‘fine’, Oliver,” Felicity groaned. “Where’s your mother staying?” 

At this, Oliver grew silent and Felicity hesitated, realizing she must have unwittingly stepped on a conversational landmine. Were things fraught between him and Moira at the moment? Oops. She hadn’t known. 

“It’s...a long story... One we don’t have the time for me to tell you right now. Because I need to get you home.” 

“I’m getting the sense there are a number of ‘long stories’ that I need catching up on.” 

“You’re not wrong,” Oliver returned weakly and she sighed. 

“We are not finished discussing this - you sleeping on the floor is not an acceptable arrangement.” 

“Noted, Felicity,” Oliver chuckled softly. “Come on. It’s high time I got you home.” 

“That’s silly, why would you take me home just to turn around and come all the way back here? I’ll just call a cab,” Felicity offered but Oliver shook his head, unmovable on the issue. 

“Under no circumstances am I having you call a cab. Come on. I still have the motorcycle.” 

“I’m sorry, did you say m-motorcycle?” Felicity squawked and he shot her a smirk and quirked a brow at her as he led her towards the stairs and topside. 

\-----

Sleeping in her own bed felt, in a word? _Glorious_. When Felicity woke in the morning, she felt well rested. Despite the utter lunacy of the events she was currently embroiled in, she felt almost… _relaxed_. It was a feeling that did not last long, however. 

Once she woke, Felicity set to work catching herself up on everything that she had missed over the last few months. And though she was dreading it a little bit, the first item on her to-do list was to inform her mother that she was awake. As expected, the pitch of her mother’s voice when she answered the phone and heard Felicity on the other end was, predictably, shrill enough to shatter glass. 

“BABY GIRL YOU’RE AWAKE!” Donna screamed and Felicity winced as she drew the phone back from her ear, her eardrums smarting. 

“Yes, Mom. I’m awake.” 

“Are you okay? How do you feel? Do you need anything? What did your doctors say? When can I come see you?” The questions poured forth so fast not even Felicity felt she could keep up. How was she imbued with superhuman speed and _still_ trailing behind her mother’s whirlwind personality? Oye. 

“Okay, easy there. One at a time. Yes, I am okay, I feel fine. I woke up yesterday-”

“Well I know that, sweetie. Oliver told me,” Donna tutted and Felicity felt her mind go blank for a moment. 

“I’m sorry, did you just say _Oliver told you?_ Since when are you and my former boss on speaking terms?” 

“Since you went and got yourself struck by lightning and landed yourself in a coma! Oliver has been keeping me updated on your prognosis. We talk and text all the time, hon.” 

“He has? _You do?!_ ” This was weird. Like… Twilight Zone weird. It felt like her two worlds were colliding and she wasn’t sure that she liked it. Her _mother_ was on a texting basis with Oliver? Oh this was too much.

“Well yes, sweetie. He even gave me a Queen family credit card to use for buying flights out to see you. At least, until he lost the company. He has been _very_ sweet…” Donna trailed off pointedly and Felicity could hear warning bells going off in her head. 

“Easy does it Mom, he’s my boss and my friend. That’s it.” 

“Mhmm. And how many friends pay for their friend’s mother to fly across the country to visit them in the hospital as often as they like?” 

“Mom-” Felicity warned even as her mother barreled on.

“And how many bosses text their employee’s mother updates? Status reports? He sent me weekly notes from your doctors, sweetie.” 

“Are we sure we’re talking about the same Oliver Queen?” Felicity tried to tease lamely but her mother only made a disapproving noise. 

“That boy was not acting like any boss or friend that I know,” Donna remarked. “He was consistently going above and beyond to take care of you - and me. That’s what a good boyfriend or husband does,” Donna pointed out and Felicity groaned.

“Mom! I told you, we’re just-”

“-friends. I know sweetie. But I’m just telling you. The way that man behaved these last five months? You’d be a fool to stay just friends.” 

“Oliver doesn’t look at me like that,” Felicity countered and Donna huffed. 

“Oh honey. He brought you fuzzy socks and a blanket while you were in your coma. He brought ferns and flowers to your bedside to spruce the place up...That boy is smitten, mark my words.” 

“Can we please discuss… literally _anything_ else?” Felicity whimpered and she heard her mother heave an exasperated sigh. 

“Fine. I won’t ask anything else about Oliver. Tell me about _you,_ sweetie.”

“Where to begin…?” Felicity trailed off wearily. The rest of the conversation with her mother went by without incident. She refrained from telling her mother about her newfound powers - being as she still hadn’t decided what she thought of them herself yet, it seemed premature to go spreading the word. Especially to her mother, who would only worry. After saying her goodbyes and promising to call soon, Felicity finally managed to get off the phone and she flopped back against her couch cushions limply.

One thing off the to-do list. Just fifty million more to go.

With a pot of coffee brewing, she began to pore over news sites to catch herself up on world news and local goings on, starting with the oldest news and working her way to the more recent. As ever, Starling had been busy; Slade and his henchmen aside, she’d missed not only Tockman and his electronic bombardment, but there had been an _actual_ bomber by the name of ‘Shrapnel’, the week after she’d been struck.

Sebastian Blood had run for Mayor - and so had Moira Queen. Felicity’s brain had nearly short circuited at that one. Moira? Moira, who was lucky to be walking around a free woman after her involvement in the Undertaking, _had run for Mayor?!_

“This city really doesn’t make sense to me sometimes,” Felicity muttered as she kept reading with a curt shake of her head. 

The Huntress had reappeared at her father’s trial and Frank Bertinelli had wound up dead not by his daughter’s hand, but in crossfire with SWAT, apparently. Laurel had been rehired as the District Attorney. There was a news article about Thea’s kidnapping, which Felicity had already heard of from Oliver himself. The lab Isabel had been peddling for Slade Wilson’s Mirakuru monstrosities had been bombed, but Felicity knew that this had been the team’s doing. There were articles about a red hoodie wearing boy on the rampage too.

“Hello there _Roy_ ,” Felicity hummed, rising from her laptop to go grab a cup of coffee now that the pot had finished brewing. But instead of the usual, tiny little rush that the first few sips of coffee always gave her, Felicity felt... _nothing._

“Oh come on,” she groaned as she stared at the coffee, recalling what Barry had said about calories and metabolisms. “Seriously? Are we really going to say that my metabolism is so fast that caffeine can’t do anything for me anymore? That’s barbaric.” 

But barbaric or not, it seemed to be true. One entire pot of coffee later and she didn’t have so much as a whiff of the caffeine shakes. 

“What the frak.” 

But as Felicity pressed on with her current events reading, her hands began to shake for reasons that had _nothing_ to do with caffeine or caffeine withdrawal. 

The article headline blared the news and though she didn’t dare to believe it, a quick cross reference search showed that it was in fact true. 

_SLADE WILSON WANTED FOR THE MURDER OF MOIRA QUEEN_

Other articles bore variations of the news but whatever the wording, the outcome was the same - Moira Queen had been killed in cold blood, with both of her children forced to bear witness to it. Felicity’s hands trembled and her mind raced as she tried to understand how Oliver could have omitted such a tragic and deeply personal event in his recounting of what she had missed while she’d been in the coma. 

Had he… not trusted her enough to tell her? Had he thought she wouldn’t care? Perhaps Moira Queen hadn’t been Felicity’s favorite person in the world but never in a million years would Felicity have ignored her death. Already her mind was reeling as she tried to imagine what Oliver must have gone through and what he must have felt. 

And then, guilt came sweeping in. 

Thea’s kidnapping. His mother’s murder. How much was Oliver forced to endure over the last few months? How much had he compartmentalized and had to bury his feelings and hide them from the world? How much strain had he been under and how much had he blamed himself, given his self loathing tendencies? Felicity could only imagine. 

“Oh, Oliver…” she sighed, passing a hand through her hair as she thought of the man she had come to know and care about so deeply in the last year. And thinking of him reminded her of his current housing plight. 

Her fingers flew across the keyboard as she searched the internet for something that would fit her needs, cross checking the results against product reviews and the like. In short order, she had checked out, carefully selecting the ‘pick up same day - in store’ option. Grabbing her purse and a bottle of water, Felicity bolted for the door, arriving faster than anticipated and with a faint hint of smoke.

“Woah. Okay. Maybe no running,” she muttered to herself as she picked up a slow paced stroll to her car. From now on? Felicity needed to take things _slow._

\-----

Oliver had spent the day trying to sort out the Foundry. The place was in shambles, thanks to Slade’s efforts. And while Oliver didn’t know much about what his future held, he knew that the city still needed saving. So the Foundry? It still had purpose. And so did he. 

He swept up broken shards of glass and metal and other sundry broken things as he sought to return order to the chaotic space. He was in the midst of inventorying arrows - many of which had been snapped or otherwise broken - when the sound of the door at the top of the stairs opening drew his attention. 

At the top of the staircase stood Future Barry. And to put it frankly? He looked like hell. 

“What happened to you?!” Oliver queried as he set aside the arrow he’d been inspecting. In response, Barry began to stagger unevenly down the stairs, looking haggard and worn. 

“Alcohol. Alcohol happened to me,” Barry slurred and Oliver frowned at the other man. 

“Barry… are you _drunk?_ ” 

“Yes!” Barry crowed, pumping a hand in the air victoriously. “Yes I am Oliver. For the first time in like… a number of years, _I am drunk_. I couldn’t get drunk before, see, because my metabls- mebatol- m’tablismolism-” Barry slurred drunkenly.

“-metabolism?” Oliver offered and Barry clapped his hands together loudly and pointed at Oliver.

“YES! That! It burned off the alc’hol so I couldn’t even get a little bit buzzed. But that’s not a problem now! So here is me. _Drunk_!” Barry announced loudly, staring at the otherwise empty space as if waiting on applause. 

“Maybe you should go sleep it off somewhere else,” Oliver growled, not liking the energy Barry was giving off and certainly in no mood to have to babysit the guy. 

“Oh no I think I’ll stay right here. Because I have a bone to pick with _you-_ ” at this Barry lumbered forward, poking Oliver squarely in the chest with his index finger. No sooner had he poked Oliver than did Barry wince and draw his hand away, waving it quickly.

“Oww. I think your chest muscles broke my finger.” 

Oliver raised one brow at Barry, unimpressed. He wasn’t exactly surprised; the kid looked like he would be a lightweight and he was proving that now. “Barry is there a point to you being here? Because if there is, you should make it and then go,” Oliver suggested firmly and Barry glowered at him, still nursing his injured finger. 

“Yeah there’s a point and the point is you! You ruined my life!” 

“I have ruined a lot of lives. And I will own that. But yours is definitely not one of them, Barry,” Oliver growled back through clenched teeth. His patience for the time traveler was waning - and quickly. 

“You told her not to help me! You told F’licity she shouldn’t run back and fix the past. It’s YOUR fault that I am stuck here! You couldn’t just s’port me, could you? You couldn’t help me out. You had to kick me while I was down!” 

“What happened to you is no one’s fault but _yours_ Barry. As I recall, no one _made you_ run back in time and mess with the past. If you ask me? It is high time you started taking some responsibility for your actions. This isn’t on me and it damn sure isn’t on Felicity. Do you hear me? It is _not_ her fault that you are stuck here. You want someone to blame? Try looking in the mirror.” 

Oliver stormed away then, doing his best to keep his anger in check. Barry had a way of making Oliver want to lash out and he knew Felicity wouldn’t look kindly upon Oliver punching Barry in the face. _Again._

“There you go, running away from the truth and from the problem. Classic Oliver!” Barry sneered and Oliver’s jaw tensed as his fingers curled into fists. _Don’t give him the satisfaction. He’s drunk and he’s dumb._ But Oliver could handle Barry being a dick to him. He could, truly. He didn’t have to like it, but he could absorb it. 

“Last I checked, Barry, _you_ were supposed to be the expert on running. Tell me again, how did you get here? That’s right. You ran. Through time. Real smart. How’s that working out for you?” Oliver taunted, unable to help himself. He wasn’t gonna punch the twerp but he sure as shit wasn’t going to take Barry’s crap lying down. 

“I don’t know what I expected. I should have known you wouldn’t help me. Some friend you are.” 

“Let’s get something straight. You and I, Barry? We’re not friends. Friends are people you care about, and I don’t give a flying fuck about you. But Felicity? Her, I care about. She _is_ my friend. And I will not let you put her in harm’s way for something as selfish and dangerous as this. And FYI - if we really _were_ friends, as you claim we were, _you_ wouldn’t be asking this of me - or her. So from where I stand, that whole ‘friends’ line of yours is pure bullshit.” 

“I don’t know what I expected; of course you’re using your wife as an excuse not to help me. I don’t know why I thought you could actually be a decent friend for a change. You’re always going to choose F’licity first, everyone else second!” 

It was as if the Earth had stopped turning; everything went very, eerily silent and the only thing Oliver could hear was the roaring of the blood in his ears and the drumming of his heart in his chest. 

_Had Barry really said… Was Felicity Oliver’s_ **_wife_ ** _in the future?_

Oliver suddenly felt faint. He had the presence of mind to grasp numbly at the metal table top before him as the world suddenly began to spin entirely too fast around him. _Wife_. He was married to Felicity in the future. Or he had been. Now that Barry had come back here and altered the timeline, who knew what would happen. 

“You can’t even face me, can you? You know it’s true, your wife is a crutch and you’re using her as an excuse not to help me. It’s bullshit is what it is... is what it is!” Barry continued in his drunken ramblings. “I’ve helped you like… _loads of times_!” Barry was like an irritating insect, buzzing in the back of Oliver’s brain but not a single word actually processed through the haze of surprise Olvier was locked in at the moment. 

_Oliver._ ** _Married._** That alone was a surprising concept to wrap his head around. That he was married to Felicity though? That propelled him to an altogether greater height of disbelief. Felicity was beautiful and funny and kind and she was _entirely too good for him._ How in God’s name had they wound up together in the future? How was that possible? 

And could it still be possible in this altered timeline that Barry had created in his meddling? 

“Tell her to help me, Oliver! _Make her_ run back in time. You can’t just leave me STUCK HERE. Do you hear me? She’ll listen to you!”

Distantly, Oliver heard Barry saying something else but Oliver’s brain was still short circuiting over the information overload that the news of his future spouse’s identity had wrought. Dazed, Oliver tried to compartmentalize this information but as he struggled to do so, several things transpired in a heartbeat. 

“LOOK AT ME, DAMN YOU!” Barry’s voice sounded far off as he yelled and still, Oliver wasn’t really processing his words. Already, he’d gotten pretty good at tuning Barry out. 

He heard a yell and almost at the same moment, something breezed past him and rammed him bodily and with great force. He spun into a table holding the arrowheads he’d already catalogued and, off balance physically and mentally as Oliver was, he knocked both the tray and the metal table over as he fell to the ground. 

“Sorry! I am so, so sorry!” A familiar voice yelped out and Oliver blinked in confusion as he slowly composed himself on the floor. 

“Felicity?” 

“Yes! I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to do that, I didn’t realize bumping into you would have that kind of impact, I was just trying to stop him from hitting you! Are you okay Oliver?” Felicity chirped. As Oliver stood, Felicity came into view standing where he had stood only moments ago. She held Barry’s closed fist with both hands where she had stopped him just short of punching Oliver while his back was turned. The time traveler himself was staring in shock and confusion between his own hand and Felicity’s face, clearly surprised that his sneak attack had been cut short. 

Oliver blinked as he looked from Barry to Felicity, still trying to process what had just happened (and still reeling from what Barry had let slip). Then, before Oliver could do or say anything more, Felicity piped up.

“Umm. Also I bought you a cot to sleep on! Surprise?” 

\-----

After she’d picked the cot up from the store, Felicity had driven straight for Verdant, determined that if she couldn’t provide Oliver with a place to stay, she could at least get him off the floor of the Foundry. When she pulled up in the back of the building, no vehicles were in sight. Although, she did see a suspiciously shaped something near the back wall of the club. Something which looked remarkably like a certain someone’s motorcycle, just with a moving blanket thrown over it. 

Well good. If Oliver was here, she could also maybe talk with him about his mother. And about why he had felt the need to keep the truth about Moira Queen’s death secret from Felicity. 

After wrangling with the awkwardly large box for several minutes, Felicity finally made her way into the empty club, half dragging and half carrying the cot along with her. As she fumbled open the door to the basement, however, she heard raised voices. Frowning, Felicity walked inside the familiar space although the scene before her was anything but familiar. 

Oliver was hunched over a worktable with Barry standing behind him, shouting at the top of his lungs about what exactly, she had no idea. But as Felicity watched, Barry drew back his arm, his fist cocked and ready to strike. It was right around then that Felicity cried out instinctively.

“STOP!”

The box containing the cot slipped from her fingers as Felicity threw herself forward at breakneck speed. The foundry seemed to freeze as she hurtled across the distance separating her from the two men. As it happened, Felicity knew she must have tapped into the speed force again based on what Barry had told her but she didn’t care. There was no chance of her allowing Barry to strike Oliver when he wasn’t looking. Even if he _had_ been looking, she wouldn’t have stood for Barry striking him. 

Absolutely not. Not on her watch. 

Both her hands enclosed on Barry’s and all at once time picked back up at normal speed. Felicity realized belatedly that in the process of getting to Barry, she had buffeted Oliver and with a wince, she watched him spin into the table and fall. 

_Frak._

“Sorry! I am so, so sorry!” Felicity cried out to him in the ensuing quiet, mentally kicking herself. Some heroic rescue this was proving to be. What was wrong with her? 

“Felicity?” 

“Yes! I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to do that, I didn’t realize bumping into you would have that kind of impact. Are you okay Oliver?” 

By way of response, a head of tousled hair came into view and a pair of blue eyes blinked at her in surprise as Oliver regained his feet, looking for all the world as if he _had_ been clocked in the back of the head. Uh oh. Had Barry already punched Oliver silly before she’d got here? 

_No,_ a voice inside her head answered with a snort. _Oliver is perfectly capable of taking on the likes of Barry Allen._ Even if Barry had snuck in a punch on an unsuspecting Oliver, Felicity found it hard to picture him landing a second one. As Oliver continued to blink at her wordlessly, Felicity remembered the reason she had come here to begin with. 

“Umm. Also I bought you a cot! Surprise?” 

No sooner had the words left her mouth than Barry turned tail and ran, fleeing up the staircase and out of the Foundry without a backwards glance. Felicity’s eyes met Oliver’s and the two blinked in owlish shock at one another until Felicity pointed one hand in the direction the man had gone.

“S-Should I go after him or…?” Felicity trailed off as Oliver drew nearer, still looking utterly gobsmacked. 

Ooh. Gobsmacked. Now there was another word that was criminally under utilized. 

“You’re on fire,” Oliver remarked in a quiet voice and Felicity felt her lips split into a little grin as she glanced to the Foundry door. 

“Oh. Umm… Thank you. I mean, obviously sending you flying into the table wasn’t the best and was totally unintentional. So there’s plenty of room for improvement. But for being one of the first few times I’ve done the whole ‘super speed’ thing, it wasn’t half bad, right?” 

Her words came out in a rushed ramble and she found herself speaking without pausing to take a breath. When at last she managed to stop her babbling, she inhaled deeply and looked to Oliver hopefully. He continued to stare at her blankly and then all at once, the dazed quality left his eyes and he snapped to alertness. 

“No, Felicity I mean you are actually, _literally_ on fire!” Oliver shouted, rushing towards her. Felicity glanced down at herself in confusion, just in time to see a tongue of actual flames licking up the arm of her blouse. At the same time, she became aware of the distinct smell of something burning and a flicker of pain from somewhere around her midriff clued her in that Oliver was right and her superspeeding had definitely not agreed with the fabric of her shirt. With a yip, Felicity wrenched her top over her head and threw it off of herself. In a swift motion, Oliver stomped on the burning fabric, quickly tamping out the flames. 

Breathing heavily, Felicity self consciously crossed her arms in front of herself, keenly aware that she had nothing on the top half of her body save a bra. Naturally. Because clinging to whatever shred of dignity she had left when confronting Oliver today would have been too much to ask the universe for. _Frak._

Finished putting out the flames, Oliver scooped up the burnt remains of her top off the floor and lifted them up for her to see. The fire had eaten away a surprising chunk of her blouse and what remained wasn’t salvageable and it certainly wasn’t worth attempting to put back on for what little of her it would actually cover. 

Great. So now she was just going to have to stand here, half naked in front of Oliver. Awesome. 

\-----

Felicity’s arrival had thrown Oliver for a loop, for a number of reasons. 

One being, after so many months of her being absent, having her show up unannounced again? It was like a breath of fresh air when he hadn’t even known he was drowning. For a moment, Oliver forgot himself. It felt as though he had entered into one of his dreams and there she was, looking at him with those bright, hopeful blue gray eyes of hers. 

For another thing, she had bought him a cot? Felicity Megan Smoak had… she had bought him a bed to sleep on. Wow. 

And thirdly? 

Thirdly, he’d just heard from Barry ‘time traveler from the future’ Allen that he, Oliver Queen, was apparently _married_ to Felicity in the future. And as if saying her name aloud had summoned her, she had appeared on that staircase looking like heaven and she’d swooped to his rescue when he hadn’t even known he’d been in danger. And he had _no idea_ how much of what Barry had said she’d heard. Had she heard Barry refer to her as his wife? Oliver didn’t know. 

So yeah. To say he was thrown by her sudden appearance was putting it mildly. 

And then? … Then her blouse had _caught on fire_ right in front of him. The loop that Oliver had been thrown for? Yeah, he wasn’t coming back from it anytime soon. Because standing in front of Felicity, dressed in nothing but a bra and a skirt? It was impossible _not_ to look. Oliver felt his mouth go dry and his mind went blank. His eyes drank in the sight of her, unable to help but notice the smooth planes of skin that he had only ever imagined before (and god _damn it_ , now he realized that yes, he _had_ wondered and imagined and the reality was even better than his mind had concocted). 

The swell of her breasts, hidden behind a simple black, lace edged bra drew his attention in an instant. _Fuck._ He was never going to get these images out of his head. The toned lines of her arms, the shapely curve of her ass in that skirt, it was all so much to take in. And he knew he shouldn’t be looking but he also couldn’t seem to tear himself away. And he was married to this - to _her_ \- in the future? How in God’s name had his future self managed to pull that off? Had Felicity lost a bet and gotten stuck marrying him? What other explanation could there be for someone so wildly out of his league consenting to marry him? 

As he watched, Felicity’s eyes flared wide in mortification and her arms lifted to cross in front of her chest self consciously, although no amount of arm crossing could hide her exposed top half fully from his view. Entirely too belatedly, Oliver cleared his throat and averted his gaze, though he knew the image of an almost half naked Felicity was already forever burned into his brain. He’d be replaying this moment for years to come, he knew. 

With a start, Oliver lurched to pick up her top off of the ground, holding it before her sheepishly as he stared at the burned remains of what had been, until a minute ago, a very pretty blouse. Swallowing thickly, he chanced a glance at her, doing his level best to keep his gaze focused on Felicity from the neck up.

It was a difficult thing to do.

Clearing his throat, Oliver locked eyes with her. There. Eyes. That was safe. He just needed to stay focused on her eyes, and not allow his to stray lower. 

“I believe this is yours,” he murmured as he waited for her to take the blouse. As he watched, she seemed to struggle to decide what to do and then, quick as a wink, her hand flashed out towards him, grabbing the top just to retract her hand back to her body, intent on keeping herself covered.

“Thank you,” she choked out, her embarrassment obvious. Realizing the burnt remains of her blouse did her little good, Oliver hurried to shrug off his own shirt and quickly balled it up in one hand so he could hand it to her. Felicity stared at him and then at the shirt as if uncertain what to do. 

“Please. Take this,” Oliver insisted and Felicity’s eyes darted to his in surprise before her other hand reached out and slowly accepted the shirt from him. 

“T-Thank you.” 

He turned around pointedly so that he was no longer facing her. Listening intently, Oliver could hear a faint rustle of fabric as Felicity dressed herself in his top. She must have started to recover from the shock of the whole ordeal because it was about then that some of her normal babbling started to make a reappearance. 

“This is nice. It umm… It smells like you. Not that you smell like, in a bad way. I mean we all smell. I just mean it smells like you when you smell. Like when you’re sweaty. It smells like sweaty you. I mean not sweaty you but… I’m going to stop talking now. Thank you. For the shirt. You can turn around now.” 

With a chuckle, Oliver turned to face her again and when he did so, the sight that met his eyes knocked him for another loop entirely. 

Seeing Felicity half naked had been… well. He wouldn’t lie. It had been a treat for the senses. But seeing her like this? Dressed in a t-shirt of his that hung low and loose on her, it was hard not to picture her wearing his shirt (and nothing else) after a late night tryst. In fact, that was _all_ he could picture. And that mental image? It stirred up something inside of him that he definitely could not touch right now. Or ever. This was Felicity.

_But she’s your wife in the future. Something changes. Why not start now?_ A little voice in the back of his head tried to argue but Oliver shut it down quickly. That was dangerous, thinking like that. He had to protect Felicity. Nothing had changed - Oliver lived a life too prone to danger to bring someone else into it. Especially not her. He would never be able to forgive himself if something happened to her on his watch. 

Tearing his eyes away from her body, Oliver met her gaze and tried to focus. 

“What ah… What brings you down here, Felicity? I thought you were going to stay home today. Catch up.” 

Her cheeks were practically firetruck red but at his attempt to return to normalcy, he could see her begin to relax and loosen up again. 

“Right. Catching up. Yes. I did! Or, I started to, anyway. But umm, in the process I saw some things. Some things that I was hoping we could… discuss…” she trailed off uneasily and Oliver’s brows knitted into a frown.

What did possibly she want to discuss with him?

“I’m all ears,” he offered as he walked past her and towards the table that he had knocked over upon her arrival. Wordlessly, he righted it and then began to collect the scattered arrows as he waited for her to begin.

He did not have long to wait. 

“Oliver I… I know about your mother.” 

Her hand landed lightly on his shoulder, a gentle touch that, ordinarily, he would have taken no issue with. He and Felicity seemed prone to such innocent touches as that. But now, in the light of what Barry had let slip? After having seen her (nearly) half naked? The simple contact set his skin on fire and Oliver found himself pulling away from her touch, afraid to let himself be swept away by it. 

“What about her, Felicity?” he queried as he rose and turned to face her, folding both arms in front of himself to keep his hands to himself. No touching. His self control was too frayed already. 

\-----

_What about her?!_

Was he kidding? Felicity felt a flash of anger which was quickly followed by a cold dousing of doubt as Oliver sharply pulled away from her hand. She could only blink at him in shock. Was she really so abhorrent as that now? He’d never seemed to care when she put a reassuring hand on him before. Why was her touch so suddenly repulsive? What had changed? 

_You changed_ , the voice inside her head reminded her. _You are a superpowered freak now. No small wonder why he wouldn’t want to be near you._

Okay no. She was _not_ going to let her doubt and anxieties get the best of her here. But admittedly, the timing of this? It wasn’t exactly the most reassuring. 

“You didn’t tell me… about what happened,” Felicity pointed out, struggling to articulate what she was feeling. The whole incident with the shirt had left her beyond flustered and now? Well, now Oliver was standing in front of her, shirtless. And yes, she’d seen him shirtless loads of times before but it was never exactly easy to concentrate with him preening about all bare chested and muscley. 

“I-... It didn’t seem like the right time,” Oliver hesitated, avoiding her gaze as he slid past her and continued collecting the scattered arrows. 

“Oliver, there’s never a ‘right’ time to tell someone bad news,” Felicity pointed out gently and at this he seemed to go tense.

“Well Felicity, you know. So now what?” Oliver inquired curtly and Felicity bit back a snarky response. Why was he being so dismissive? 

“Now… I am trying to check on you. That had to be hard.” 

“What do you want me to say, Felicity? That it was miserable? It was. It was one of the most awful days of my life. I saved the city from Slade but I failed to save my mother.” At this, Oliver stalked away from her and Felicity reached a hand out for him but stopped short of actually touching him, afraid he would pull away again. She wasn’t sure she could take another rejection so soon after the first. 

“I-I wanted to say… I’m sorry.” 

Oliver stopped short, his back to her as he seemed to let her words sink in. Slowly, he turned to face her, his eyes wide with disbelief. 

“ _You’re_ sorry? For...For what?” 

“For not being here! Maybe… Maybe I could have done something. If I hadn’t gone to Central City, I wouldn’t have gotten struck by lightning and I wouldn’t have been in a coma. Maybe I could have helped somehow. I don’t know. I do know I should have been there for you when it happened!”

\-----

At Felicity’s words, Oliver’s mind went blank with shock. And then, just as quickly, his mind supplied the mental image of Felicity beside him that night with Slade. And instead of the sword driving through his mother’s chest, Oliver’s imagination all too easily provided the image of _Felicity_ being run through. And it was that haunting thought that made Oliver go pale.

“No!” he snapped suddenly, his words directed at himself rather than her. Gods no. It was for the best she hadn’t been there. Oliver would not have been able to face another day if Slade had stabbed Felicity through the chest with his blade. It had been bad enough that Felicity had been held at knifepoint by Slade’s men. For her to have been threatened by the man himself would have been unconscionable. 

“There was nothing you could have done,” Oliver choked out, doing his level best to be reassuring, though truthfully he was in no fit state to comfort anyone. He himself was spiraling over the mental image of Felicity being murdered the way his mother had been. Throw in his turmoil over the knowledge that she was his future wife and he’d seen her (mostly) half naked tonight, and Oliver was beyond frazzled. Beyond worked up. Beyond distressed. “It was… It was better you weren’t here.” 

It was meant to be comforting. To console her. Nothing would have changed the outcome, in Oliver’s mind. But what could have changed was the extent of the loss. And if Felicity _had_ been around? It was entirely possible Slade would have gone after her sooner. And maybe even succeeded in killing her.

And that? That was not a loss Oliver could have come back from.

\-----

_It was better you weren’t here._

Felicity felt the sting as though he had slapped her across the face with those very words. Better that she wasn’t here? How could he say that? Was she really so useless as all that? Did she really matter so little? 

A few months in a coma and apparently he had stopped having any use for her, it seemed. 

“Well… At any rate, I’m sorry… I’m sure that was hard for you,” Felicity murmured, glancing around the Foundry to avoid having to look at him, avoiding her. “I umm… I’m going to go now. Lots to catch up on still. Job applications to fill out...I just wanted to drop off the cot for you. And to say my condolences. So… Sorry for your loss…” Felicity trailed off uneasily, biting the inside of her cheek. 

She felt small. And without a purpose. Lost. And as he continued to avoid her? Unwanted joined that list of descriptors. 

“Thank you… You really didn’t need to do that,” Oliver responded, his gaze flicking to hers for the briefest of moments. Felicity nodded and rapped the top of her old workstation with one hand as she turned to go. 

“Right… Well, I’ll umm… I’ll wash your shirt and get it back to you tomorrow.” 

“Don’t worry about it. Keep it,” Oliver rebuffed her and Felicity could only nod slowly as she turned to leave. As she ascended the stairs she exhaled heavily, muttering to herself too low for anyone to hear. 

_“Welcome back from your coma, Felicity…”_


	6. Chapter 6

Felicity had left the foundry that day after everything with Oliver and she hadn’t looked back. Her pride had definitely been wounded, hearing Oliver say that it was better she hadn’t been around to help and that there was nothing she could have done. But what had cut worse than that was his dismissive attitude, the way he’d avoided looking at her and shied away from her touch. 

She’d gone home, uncorked a bottle of wine (discovering with a hint of sadness that, just as with the coffee, her favorite beverage no longer provided the associated physical response) and she’d spent the rest of the day catching up on the news and applying for jobs. The latter of which proved to be a soul crushing exercise, seeing as her move from IT to EA wasn’t exactly likely to curry favor in any tech jobs. Before the day was over, she’d already received two rejection emails. It was around the time of letter number two that Felicity really began to despise not being able to even feel momentarily tipsy. 

That frakking lightning bolt just  _ had  _ to go and hit her instead of Barry. 

_ Barry.  _

Felicity’s stomach twisted uneasily every time she thought about the time traveler. During his recounting of events, she’d learned that during her time in the coma, he’d been forced to linger, unable to return to his time. And because he didn’t want to risk further disruption to the future, he had also been forced to give Central City a wide berth, lest it come to light that there were two of him. And so, Future Barry had stuck around Starling, relying on the good graces of Oliver, as it had turned out. 

Felicity had been rather shocked to learn that Oliver had been bankrolling Future Barry (right up until he’d been bankrupted by Isabel, that was). Given his distaste for the man, it had seemed profoundly odd to her. But then again, it seemed she didn’t know Oliver as well as she thought she had. 

She had  _ thought  _ that he would still be her friend in spite of her newly acquired abilities. She’d  _ trusted  _ that they were friends who could tell each other anything. And she had believed they were friends comfortable with simple gestures and touches, like hugs and a gentle squeeze of the hand or reassuring shoulder touch. But apparently, she hadn’t known Oliver at all. She hadn’t known  _ anything _ at all. 

When the next morning dawned, Felicity woke up on her couch, her laptop still sitting cockeyed on her stomach where she had passed out working on job applications. Yawning, she’d pushed herself up into a sitting position and checked her smartwatch. 

**_7:37 A.M._ **

It was entirely too early. Why was she awake right now? If she didn’t have to be up, Felicity was definitely a ‘sleep in and relax’ kind of girl. Especially now that coffee was no longer going to give her any get up and go. Groaning, she set her laptop aside on the coffee table and rolled over as if to go back to sleep. It was around then that her phone chirped at her and drew her attention. 

**_2 NEW MESSAGES_ **

> **_Oliver Queen:_ **   
>  Can you please come to the Foundry this morning? Nine o’clock? 
> 
> **_Oliver Queen:_ **   
>  _ There’s some people you need to meet from STAR Labs. And they need to run a few tests. Just to make sure you’re alright, post-coma and everything. They said it’s really important.  _

Felicity exhaled slowly and shook her head, not exactly feeling like meeting strangers and having them poke and prod at her. If they were from STAR Labs, she had a sneaking suspicion they’d want to do more than just test her blood or take her vitals. They’d want to hear about - and most likely,  _ see  _ \- her speed. She couldn’t precisely control it. And then there was the whole clothes burning aspect to consider - she was really not looking to repeat yesterday’s blouse-fire fiasco. She would have been happier to forget that it had ever happened, truthfully. It had been mortifying in the extreme. Glancing down at the shirt of Oliver’s that she was still wearing, she heaved a little sigh. 

Okay, so maybe one tiny little not so bad, kinda good thing had come out of the tee burning of yesterday. Burying her nose in the fabric of it, she could still smell the faint undertone of ‘Oliver’ that still clung to the fabric. Coupled with the mental image of him standing before her shirtless, and Felicity was suddenly feeling rather flushed. 

Yes, he’d been a jerk. But he was a frakking  _ attractive  _ jerk. A jerk that she cared about. Ugh. She hated him sometimes. Before she could delve into her complex and layered feelings for Oliver though, the enigma himself texted her again.

> **_Oliver Queen:_ **   
>  _ Please come? I’ll pick up bear claws from that donut shop you love if you do.  _

Well frak. She was going to go, wasn’t she? Yeah. She totally was. Felicity tried to tell herself that her motivation was purely food based - she  _ loved  _ the bear claws from the little hole in the wall shop he’d mentioned. But deep down? She knew the reason she was going had nothing to do with her stomach. She was powerless to resist Oliver Jonas Queen when he asked her ‘please’.

> **_Felicity Smoak_ ** **:** **  
>  ** _ Throw in a cruller and you’ve got yourself a deal. But let the record show by coming to the Foundry I am not consenting to any medical testing. I am consenting to donuts. You still need to sell me on these tests. And I am absolutely not showing off my speed for them. Understood? This show pony doesn’t perform before 12pm. _

Hopefully the teasing intent translated; given how he’d shirked her yesterday, she was still a little gun shy. His response, however, encouraged her. 

> **_Oliver Queen:_ ** _   
>  _ _ Haha, the show pony’s preferences are duly noted (for the record though, you’re not a show pony. You’re at minimum a show Thoroughbred. Much classier). I’ll see you soon, Cruller Girl. _

She couldn’t resist the faint smile that tugged at the corners of her lips. But just as quickly, the smile turned to a frown. How could he go from being an ice king with her yesterday, to playful, friendly banter with her today? She was getting whiplash. 

But in fairness, she had been… less than articulate. In fact, she had been the exact  _ opposite  _ of articulate. She had been a bumbling, nonsensical,  _ fool  _ and she couldn’t exactly blame him for shying away from her. Given everything with her top catching fire and being shirtless in front of him, her frazzlement had shone through instead of her concern. And somehow, she’d made the issue of his mother’s murder about  _ her _ . She’d asked why  _ he  _ hadn’t told  _ her  _ about it. In retrospect, it hadn’t been her most compassionate move and she felt more than a little guilty over it. She had intended to see how he was doing, to apologize for not having been there, to offer her support and a shoulder to cry on belatedly. Instead? She’d basically berated him for not looping her in sooner. She’d been selfish in the face of his grief and it felt, at least in her mind, like a rather ugly look for herself. 

Yet, here he was buying  _ her  _ donuts to apologize. 

Sighing heavily, Felicity passed a hand over her face and spoke aloud to the empty room and to herself. 

“Pull yourself together, Smoak.”

\-----

Oliver had left the Foundry early to pick up half a dozen bear claws and half a dozen crullers from the donut shop he knew Felicity adored before he made his way back to his subterranean refuge. Ideally, he would have bought a dozen dozens but that was the old Oliver. The Oliver who actually had money. Oliver was no longer the ‘him’ that had cash to spend. But he would have spent every dime to his name in order to make amends with Felicity. 

He knew she’d been upset that he hadn’t told her about his mother’s murder. And it was true, he had omitted that in his quick rundown of things she had missed. But in truth, he’d been afraid to admit to her that he had so grossly failed to protect someone he had loved so much. How could he tell her of his shortcomings as a protector when she was now, more than ever before, an enormous target thanks to her newly acquired powers? He wanted Felicity to believe and to trust him when he told her he would keep her safe.

Telling her that his mother had been murdered in front of his very eyes? That...well, it certainly weakened any vows to protect her that he made, that was for sure. He had wanted to keep the focus on her and on keeping her safe. It was imperative that she believed him equal to the task of guarding her. Moreover, it was crucial that he actually BE equal to that task. And god help him, for Felicity? He would be, or he would die trying. And so he had neglected to breathe a word about his mother. And naturally, his choice had the opposite of its intended result: Felicity had learned the truth anyway and immediately gone to him, wounded that he hadn’t trusted her enough to tell her in the first place. 

And just like that, the trust he’d been working so hard to safeguard had been hacked to shreds. 

“Classic Oliver Queen,” he muttered to himself as he hustled down the Foundry staircase, the donut box in hand as he flipped on the lights and readied the space for the pending STAR Labs arrivals. 

Caitlin and Cisco, since being brought into the loop about Oliver’s secret identity, had proven helpful on a number of occasions when the team had needed tech assists while Felicity was comatose. But other than a few select interactions, the pair had mostly stuck to their business in Central City, tending to Felicity and doing whatever it was that occupied the nerds that worked out of the husked shell of STAR Labs alongside Harrison Wells. 

But upon Felicity’s waking, the two of them (and Harrison Wells alongside them) had been positively  _ clamoring _ to run tests on her. Oliver had put them off at first, citing stress and fatigue and the Slade Wilson situation as reasons to put things on hold. But with Slade now safely confined to his new prison on Lian Yu, and Felicity having begun the process of settling back into her routine, it had been harder to make excuses. 

Especially when Caitlin and Cisco had pointed out that Felicity’s health stood to benefit from them running the tests they wanted to. And while Oliver had every indication to believe that Felicity was in tip top shape (since, according to Future Barry, he was when he awoke), the prickle of doubt in the back of his mind had prompted Oliver to heed the nerds. 

Convincing Felicity, however, was another matter entirely. Medical testing usually involved blood draws. Blood draws involved needles. Needles were pointy objects. AKA one of Felicity’s most detested things. Thank goodness he knew her well enough to know a weakness of hers that he could appeal to in order to get her to agree to the testing: donuts. 

Specifically,  _ these  _ donuts. 

He set the pretty pink box on top of her workstation, fussing with the box to angle it  _ just so  _ before he finally left it and went about puttering around the space to continue putting it to rights. It still wasn’t back to pre-Slade normal, but the Foundry was at least less in shambles than it had been before. Certainly tidy enough to entertain a couple of braniac visitors from Central City. 

Oliver was busy reviewing some satellite footage of Lian Yu (now that Slade Wilson was there, Oliver fully intended on making regular satellite checks a staple) when the sound of the door opening drew his attention. At the top of the staircase, Felicity had just closed the door behind her and stood, wavering with uncertainty on the first step. Her eyes landed on his and it did not escape his attention how she seemed to flinch a little as they locked gazes. 

_ Fuck.  _ She was still hurt. And rightfully so.

“Hi,” she muttered faintly and Oliver felt his heart take off with a lurching staccato dance at the sound of her voice. 

“Hi,” he answered back, his voice feather light and soft as he stared up at her. She seemed to regard the space with no small measure of hesitancy before she began her careful descent down the stairs. As she reached the ground level, her eyes flitted around searchingly and when she had finished her sweep of the space, she frowned at him. 

“Where is your bed? Please don’t tell me you returned it. So help me, Oliver Queen, if you are sleeping on the floor, I swear-” she began, her voice rising with preemptive frustration only for Oliver to interrupt her with a beaming smile and two raised hands. 

“Woah, easy there, Goodfella. The cot is folded up in that back corner there; I didn’t want anyone feeling weird about coming in here just because I’m basically living here now, so I folded it up temporarily. I promise, I’m not sleeping on the floor. You can holster your guns,” he teased, though there was an undercurrent of anxious energy to each word. 

He was trying to banter. But the strain he felt that he had created between them? It weighed on him.  _ Heavily.  _

Felicity’s gaze followed his point to the corner and Oliver could see the precise moment her eyes landed on the folded up cot. In truth, the cot had been a tremendous step up from sleeping on the floor. But Oliver felt rather guilty that Felicity had spent any of her hard earned money on buying him a bed, of all things. And her, without a job right now. It was so wrong, on a number of levels. Yet another example of how he continued to be a drain on those around him. 

“You didn’t need to put it away, Oliver. You’re allowed to take up space here. It is  _ your  _ space, after all,” she reminded him gently and Oliver gave one faint, barking laugh. 

“It  _ was _ ,” he remarked, his hands in his pockets as he surveyed her. Perhaps once upon a time the Foundry had been his to run amok in. But now? Now he had a team. The Foundry belonged to all of them. And he wanted to respect that rather than treating it like his own personal playground.”This place? It’s yours. And Diggle’s too. It belongs to all of us. It hasn’t been just ‘mine’ in a while now.”

The two of them stared at each other for a long moment then and Felicity offered him a small, lopsided smile that stirred butterflies into motion in his gut. And over the objections of his own inner monologue, Oliver could not help but feel the first quiet notes of hope springing forth.

“Listen, about yesterday-” Oliver began, only for a booming knock to sound on the door at the top of the stairs, effectively cutting him off at the knees. Raising one finger, Oliver began to slide grudgingly towards the door. “Hold that thought,” he remarked before he hastened up the stairs, swinging the door open wide to find Cisco and Caitlin waiting eagerly on the other side. 

“Oh heck yes. Back in the Arrow Cave! This place is so sick, although I really do think you should reconsider my suggestions about changing your color to red…” Cisco trailed off as he hustled down the stairs, his bags of gear in tow as he went. Oliver rolled his eyes and clenched his jaw to refrain from saying anything snappish as he stepped aside to let Caitlin pass by as well. Felicity caught his gaze moments later and Oliver couldn’t be certain, but he thought he saw her duck her head to try and hide a smile. 

Maybe… Maybe he hadn’t fucked things up beyond all recognition yet. Maybe he could still salvage things, recover what he’d broken by not telling her the whole truth. Oliver’s focus remained firmly on Felicity and even as he closed the door behind Caitlin, he was loath to tear his eyes away from her. 

Without her around, it had been easier to forget what Future Barry had told him. But now, when faced with the reality of her? 

Oliver was drowning in her again. Felicity’s heather blue eyes, her scarlet painted lips, her soft, almost chime like laughter. Her nimble fingers, the crinkle on her brow when she was absorbed in her computer work; he was reminded of half a hundred wondrous parts of her that he’d forgotten while she’d been away. And then he discovered half a hundred new things to love with every passing minute. The sleek look of her ponytail as it bobbed at her neck. The gentle fragrance of her perfume - light notes of bergamot and honey, like a warm spring day. The way her glasses sat on her face, the frames bringing out her eyes all the more. The confident, ground eating stride she assumed when relaxed and focused on her work. Her tendency to press her lips together or put a pen to her mouth when puzzling out a new problem. 

He was  _ married _ to this exquisite creature in the future? How on God’s green Earth could that be true?! 

“Yoohoo, Earth to Planet Oliver?” Caitlin waved a hand in front of his face, forcibly returning Oliver to the present. “Where can we set up?” 

_ Oh.  _ Shit. He’d forgotten they didn’t know their way around the space all that well, having only been down here a handful of times during Felicity’s coma, when the team had required tech support that only Cisco and Caitlin had been available to give them. 

“Here’s good. There’s outlets over there and we can wheel up Felicity’s chair from her workstation so she can sit in it while you work. 

He saw Caitlin’s eyebrows go up as he referred to the area as being Felicity’s workstation, Oliver’s declaration of possession a rather weighty thing to consider. Neither he nor John really had an ‘area’ - they shared the workout equipment and other workstations rather equally. But this? This was definitively and unequivocally  _ Felicity’s  _ kingdom.

“Need I remind you, I haven’t agreed to any tests? And while we’re on the subject, I was made to believe there would be bear claws… And crullers!” Felicity warbled playfully and Oliver chuckled as he reached the main floor of the Foundry. Without hesitation, he made his way over to her workstation and lifted the box for her to survey. 

“Half a dozen of each. Now, will you please let the Science Twins do their thing?” Oliver pleaded. In response, Felicity narrowed her eyes. For a moment, he thought she might actually refuse him, but then Felicity reluctantly agreed with a curt nod and slunk towards Oliver and snatched a cruller from the box. In short order, Caitlin and Cisco had her set up but as they ripped open the packaging on their needles, Oliver watched Felicity visibly pale, the half eaten cruller set aside and forgotten as she swallowed nervously.

“So umm...exactly how much blood do you guys need for these tests? And how big are these needles?” Her voice was a little strained and despite her best efforts, fear edged her voice. “And what tests are you doing, precisely?” 

At this, Caitlin’s head lifted from where she was bent over her equipment, prepping for the tests in question. 

“We need quite a few vials of blood for the various tests we’d like to run - we want to check your cardiac enzymes, check for signs of inflammation, assess your blood clotting, and anything else we possibly can. To do that we’re going to run a CBC test, a PT test, a comprehensive metabolic panel, a lipid panel, and a liver panel and a few others. We’d also like to do urinalysis, and take some cultures - saliva swabs, hair samples, and maybe tissue, if you’re willing. We’re also going to want to hook you up to a few machines to monitor things like heart rate, respiration rate...”

As Oliver watched, he could  _ see  _ Felicity’s eyes glaze over as she became overwhelmed by the sheer amount of medical testing she was about to be subjected to. Before his eyes, he saw her eyes trace back to the equipment and then slide across the Foundry. It did not escape his attention how her hands shook as she folded them in her lap, or how her voice quavered as she spoke up a moment later.

“I-I don’t know about all of this… This might have been a bad idea…” Felicity trailed off uneasily, her eyes falling upon the needles once more. And Oliver could feel how genuinely she meant it - she wasn’t trying to be difficult and she wasn’t joking. Her willingness to participate was vanishing before his very eyes. She was  _ scared _ . She needed reassurance and someone to lend her their strength. 

Before Oliver even realized what he was doing, he had stepped forward so that he was just behind Felicity and he cleared his throat once a little loudly.

“If it helps… You can hold my hand while they get what they need. And I’ll be right here, every step of the way. Every test. Whatever you need, I’ll be here.” 

The room went so quiet, Oliver would have sworn that the sound of a pin dropping would have sounded like a bomb detonating. Felicity’s eyes had jumped off of the needles and now rested squarely on Oliver, wide and blinking slowly in disbelief. Her lips had parted a bit and it took a fair amount of self control for him not to kiss her while she looked that way. 

Oh fuck. Where had that thought come from? He could  _ not  _ let himself start thinking like that. Forcibly shoving such thoughts aside, he refocused on her. He wanted to be here for her because he cared for  _ her _ . Felicity. His  _ friend _ .

... _ his friend who he loved.  _ And was apparently married to in the future.

“D-Deal,” Felicity murmured, sounding shell shocked by his offer. And just as simply as that, Oliver found himself at her side. His hand opened welcomingly and he gave a waggle of his fingers to invite her to place her hand in his. He did not have long to wait: no sooner had he put his hand out than did Felicity’s fingers lace through his. Her hands were clammy and warm, and her fingers were nimble as she wove them with his effortlessly. His attention fell to their twined hands in an instant and he could feel his heart still within his chest. 

God help him, he loved holding her hand. He could have died then and there, a happy man as he held onto Felicity Smoak.

He gave her fingers a gentle squeeze and a little shake to reassure her while also taking her out of her own head. When her eyes met his and held there, Oliver gave a faint nod of his head. Wordlessly, he saw Caitlin and Cisco begin to move around them and as Oliver continued holding her, Felicity allowed them to do their work. When the needle broke through her skin, she grew still paler. She was white as a sheet by that point but held fast to him, refusing to give in to her fear of the pointy objects she was now being jabbed with. 

As the duo of Caitlin and Cisco progressed with their various tests, Oliver watched Felicity do her level best to stay calm. Her grip on his hand was like a vice and her face remained bloodless as the tests continued. And even once Caitlin had detached Felicity from the wires and leads and needles, Felicity could not seem to tear her eyes away from Oliver. She held onto him resolutely, like he was the sole anchor preventing her from being washed out to sea. It was a duty he took seriously, his eyes never leaving her, his support never wavering. For as long as she needed him, she had him. Unequivocally and without limitation, he was  _ hers.  _

The Science Twins, as Oliver liked to refer to them, put Felicity through the gauntlet of tests. Cisco took some of their samples and initiated a gene sequencing program on one of the Foundry computers, while Caitlin put Felicity through a rigorous pulmonary function test. They did a full physical workup on her, everything from an eye exam to taking clippings of her nails. The duo did their best to leave no medical stone unturned. As Caitlin got a comprehensive medical history from Felicity, Oliver couldn’t help but grin inwardly as Felicity explained that her abs were ‘newly minted’ which, upon further explanation, apparently meant that she hadn’t had them quite so  _ precisely  _ defined before the coma but now, they very much were.

Oliver had to resist the urge to ask to see them himself; there were limits and that would be well beyond them. Still, he couldn’t help but wonder at what other changes the lightning strike had wrought on Felicity’s body. She’d always been trim and in shape. If it had added a little extra definition and tone to her abdomen, what else might it have done? 

But, that was the whole point of the Science Twins being here, he supposed.  _ They  _ were trying to learn precisely that. 

After an extensive (and sometimes excessive) amount of poking and prodding and embarrassing moments collecting samples (Felicity had been mortified returning from the bathroom with her urine sample clutched before her, her cheeks a flaming, firetruck red), Caitlin and Cisco called an end to things. 

They still had plenty of tests to run and learning to do but in terms of what they could accomplish same day, they were satisfied. And they’d apparently gotten enough samples from Felicity to fulfill their wants and needs - at least for this go around. Oliver could tell they were itching to have Felicity do further physical testing - running as fast as she could in controlled settings so they could clock her being foremost amongst their desires. But Oliver had watched her grow steadily more and more weary and nervous as the day had progressed and he knew her well enough to know when she’d had enough. And Felicity? She was well past ‘enough’ by now. 

“We should schedule a time to do the next round of testing-” Caitlin began as she gathered up the bags of equipment she and Cisco had brought into the Foundry with them. In an instant, Felicity’s head whipped up from where she had been inspecting the box of donuts at her workstation. The bear claws and crullers sat forgotten as she came around the table, her eyes flitting from Caitlin to Oliver and back.

“I’m sorry, did you say ‘next round of tests’? As in...more tests? As in, I’m not done with the sharp objects and such?” Felicity queried anxiously and Oliver stepped forward, laying a gentle hand on her shoulder. 

“I think what Caitlin  _ meant  _ to say was we should discuss if it would be  _ possible  _ for them to do another round of - I’m assuming less invasive - tests. Just to get a better handle on things and to make sure we have the information we need to keep you healthy and safe,” Oliver interrupted, sending a pointed glare Caitlin’s way. The woman hesitated a moment before she dropped Oliver’s gaze and looked to Felicity apologetically. 

“Right! That’s… That’s what I mean. Cisco and I would really like to do a series of trials with you to determine your capabilities as well as your limitations. The more we know, the better we can support you and prepare for any possible issues you might have down the road.” 

Felicity pondered this for a moment while she gnawed at her lower lip, suddenly brightening as something occurred to her.

“Issues like...clothing catching on fire after I run too fast?” 

“What?!”

“Wicked!” 

In unison, Caitlin and Cisco responded, albeit in very different ways. While Caitlin was perplexed and perhaps a little concerned, Cisco seemed entirely enthused.

“If we created articles of clothing built to withstand high friction coefficients I bet we could prevent your outfits from catching on fire if you have to run unexpectedly,” he babbled excitedly, looking to Caitlin with a gleam in his eye. Caitlin, however, looked less on board with this idea.

“Cisco, no woman with as much fashion sense as Felicity would entrust you to design her entire wardrobe. You’d make everything red,” Caitlin remarked with a teasing shake of her head before she glanced at Felicity. “When we get back to STAR Labs, we’ll try and work on some sort of spray or sealant that you can use to protect your existing closet from friction induced combustion.” 

Caitlin gave Felicity a friendly pat on the shoulder as she passed by and Cisco trailed after her, looking a little put out that he wouldn’t be getting the chance to design friction resistant materials. With a few parting words to Oliver, the pair quickly exited the Foundry, leaving Felicity and Oliver alone once more. 

As he turned to face her, Oliver took note of the shell shocked look on Felicity’s face; no small wonder why. She’d undergone a tremendous amount of testing and the knowledge that she possibly wasn’t done was probably daunting. He longed to ease her stress and anxiety over the issue but in truth he wasn’t sure what to say.

So he said just that. 

“I know...this has all been a lot for you. And I’m sorry if I haven’t necessarily made things easier on you. It might surprise you to know, I don’t have any experience with lightning strikes and explosions imbuing people I care about with superhuman powers,” Oliver offered in a gentle tease and Felicity’s features brightened marginally. 

“You mean there’s  _ not  _ a greeting card for that? So weird.” 

They both gave soft huffs of laughter and Oliver felt some of the tightness in his chest begin to loosen. Sure, the two of them still were a bit strained but this hint of banter? That was a good thing, he was convinced. Silence blossomed between them as they stole shy glances at one another, both of them shifting their weight from foot to foot nervously. 

“Felicity-”

“Oliver-” 

They began in unison and immediately they drew up short as they realized they had begun talking at the same time. 

“After you, I insist,” Oliver backed down, wanting her to speak up while she was so inclined to. Felicity seemed to contemplate arguing the point for a moment but she quickly relented. As he watched, she fiddled with her folded hands nervously, staring at them rather than at him as she began to speak in a rush. 

“Oliver, I need to tell you how sorry I am for yesterday. I was flustered with the whole…” Felicity trailed off, motioning with her hands towards her top to indicate the flaming blouse incident, “-and I was saying all the wrong things and I just… I’m so sorry. I’m sorry for yesterday and about your mom and about making her death about me that was… Oh that was bad. Really not good. I’m sorry. You deserved so much better than that. And then here you are today being so nice and so kind to me and literally holding my hand and I just… Thank you. Thank you for being here for me, even after I wasn’t there for you.”

Felicity finally fell quiet as she took a deep breath and Oliver stared at her for a spell as he tried to gather himself after her rambled speech. It had been… Well, frankly it had been a lot to process and unpack.

She thought that  _ she  _ needed to apologize for yesterday? Had that lightning bolt scrambled her brain? Clearly  _ he  _ was the one in the wrong! He’d hidden the truth from her - a frequent tactic of his that he knew was wrong and that always backfired and yet, here he was, still reaping the rewards of that poisoned fruit. He’d broken her trust. How could she believe him when he promised to keep her safe now? 

“Felicity… You have nothing to apologize for. I’m the one who messed up. I wasn’t honest with you - I hid the truth about my mother from you. I just… I promised to keep you safe and I didn’t want to tell you about my mother because… I failed her, Felicity. And I don’t want to fail you. I was afraid that if you knew about my mom… You wouldn’t have any faith in my abilities to keep  _ you  _ safe. But I promise you, Felicity, I will do  _ whatever  _ it takes to protect you. From your powers. From Future Barry. Even from yourself. I just… I am not going to let anything bad happen to you. And I’m sorry if by lying, I broke your trust or lost your faith in me. Just… please know that it was coming from a good place. I just didn’t do a good job of communicating that…” 

The pair of them stared at each other, both of them looking at the other as if they had two heads. It was Felicity who spoke first, shaking her head before her eyes lit on his. 

“Can we just… go back in time and pretend this misunderstanding never happened?” she queried, only to process her own words and then become belatedly panicked. “And by ‘go back in time’ I do not actually mean to suggest we should travel back in time and change the timeline because as we have now seen that is something that can seriously,  _ seriously  _ mess with things. Big time consequences...” she rambled, panting heavily by the time she finished. Oliver had frozen at her words and stared at her now, speechless. 

Talking about time travel and changing events had only reminded him of Barry’s slip and the knowledge that had resulted from it. Playing with time  _ did  _ have consequences.And they were already paying dearly for it. Leveling his gaze at her, Oliver forced a smile, even though internally he was a frantic mess. 

“You mean take a mulligan?” 

“A what-igan?”

“A mulligan. It’s a golf term. Basically it means a do over,” Oliver explained in a relaxed tone and Felicity shoulders slouched in relief. 

“Yes. A do over. That would be amazing.” 

“Consider it done,” Oliver responded softly, watching her with the utmost of tenderness. “So umm… I guess the Science Twins are done with tests for you for now… You probably want to go home and shower or relax or something, I’m guessing…?” Oliver trailed, his eyes searching as he watched her. 

“Oh umm… Yeah, I- guess so, sure.” 

Neither of them seemed to know what to do with themselves and they stared uneasily at each other as they tried to figure that out. 

“W-Well then… I guess I ah… I’ll just... _ go _ ,” Felicity murmured by way of explanation, pointing a thumb over her shoulder as she glanced around as if to gather her things. And  _ God _ , he wanted her to stay. But going? Going was probably for the best. She’d gotten as far as gathering up her purse and the box of remaining bear claws and crullers (at his insistence - he did  _ not  _ need that much sugar on his own) when a loud rap at the door to the Foundry drew them both up short. Frowning, Oliver gestured for Felicity to stay where she was and he trotted up the stairs, taking them two at a time as he made his way to the source of the noise. When he peeked out into the hallway through the digital peephole though, Oliver’s blood began to boil. 

He pushed the door open more roughly than was strictly necessary and threw a hand out to grasp Future Barry roughly by the collar before he dragged the young man inside and towed him bodily behind him on the stairs. 

“Come back to try and sucker punch me again?” Oliver growled as he released Barry forcibly at the base of the stairs. As he came to stand beside and slightly in front of Felicity, Oliver folded his arms across his chest, determined to place himself between Felicity and Future Barry, just in case the man had any tricks up his damned sleeves. “Or have you sobered up?”

To his credit, Future Barry looked properly mortified and he opened and closed his mouth several times as he attempted (and failed) to respond to this line of questioning. 

“I was out of line, okay? I shouldn’t have gone drinking. That’s on me. I got heated and I didn’t handle it well,” Barry explained and Oliver heard Felicity give a sharp snort from beside him. When his eyes flicked towards her, he was pleased to see she was mirroring his closed arm posture as she stared down the time traveler, looking none too pleased with him. 

“If this is an apology, the words you’re looking for are ‘I’m’ and ‘sorry’; you should probably spit them out sooner rather than later,” Felicity directed with a cold stare and Barry blanched, clearly taken aback at this response from her.

“Okay yes,  _ obviously  _ I am sorry, alright? I didn’t mean for things to go that way.” 

“Now to be clear, how exactly  _ did  _ you mean for things to go? Because from where I stand, there was no good way for things to play out with you storming in here, drunk and violent. And for the record? This is a pretty terrible frakking apology. You could have  _ really  _ hurt Oliver!” she suggested in a nervous ramble as she began to get worked up, her gaze darting to Oliver for half a heartbeat. In the momentary ensuing silence, Oliver’s hand twitched at his side, the back of his knuckles just barely brushing against her own. 

_ Bingo.  _

Her hand fluttered faintly in response to his questioning touch and as simply as that, he felt her fingers come to thread between his own. And for a brief but glorious moment, Oliver forgot all about Barry, forgot about the strains and stressors they were all under and he existed purely in the warmth of the contact between Felicity’s fingers and his own. 

“I wasn’t trying to actually hurt him, alright? I was just... _ mad _ !” Barry attempted to defend himself and Oliver could see Felicity visibly stiffen with rage. In the couple years he had been working alongside Felicity, Oliver couldn’t remember ever seeing her quite so furious as she looked to be right now. It was almost enough to make him feel sorry for the time traveling twerp. 

_ Almost.  _ But not quite. 

“I still have yet to hear you actually apologize to Oliver,” Felicity remarked pointedly, her slight five foot five frame positively trembling with rage.Barry glowered for a moment then heaved a heavy sigh before casting his eyes to Oliver. 

“Fine. Oliver, I am sorry that I  _ attempted  _ to hit you. It was my mistake.” When finished, Barry shot a scowl and an arched brow Felicity’s way. “Satisfied?” 

“Hardly,” Felicity ground out and Oliver could feel her fingers tighten on his as she attempted to moor herself and not let her anger carry her away. “But I have a feeling that’s about as much as we’re going to get.” 

The trio fell silent, all focus still thrown to Barry as he shifted his weight from foot to foot uneasily. 

“Alright Barry. What brings you back here?” Oliver was the one to break the uncomfortable sense of quiet at last and he had a feeling he wasn’t going to like what came next. 

Unsurprisingly, he was spot on.

“I’m here to plead my case to Felicity. Last time… Well, I didn’t give you all the facts last time around. This time I’d like to - if you’ll let me,” he explained, lifting his chin defiantly as he awaited Felicity’s decision. Oliver had to bite his tongue to swallow back a sharp retort but he managed it, if only narrowly. 

Felicity was her own woman. She could decide what she wanted to hear - and what she didn’t. He only hoped that whatever Barry said today, Felicity’s answer to his question remained unchanged. When neither of them stopped him, Barry cleared his throat and found a spot to lean against one of the work benches, his eyes nervously flitting around the room, never landing anywhere more than a few seconds. 

“In my timeline… I make a difference. I save people, using the powers that Felicity now has. I help the CCPD stop metahumans. Sometimes I even team up with other heroes to save the city and the entire planet from danger. And yes, I have run back in time a few times to change the past. But I’ve learned from my mistakes and I’ve learned how even one change has a butterfly effect. I know that it’s a lot to consider. But in all my running through time, this is the only time I’ve really had a problem with being stuck. Well… there was one time with the speed force, but that doesn’t really count because I knew I would be trapped... ANYWAY. I understand why you would be scared to risk it. But believe me, it’ll be better for you in the long run. And if it helps, _ I  _ can train you, Felicity. By the time I’m done with you, you’ll be a time traveling pro. It’s not that scary once you get the hang of it. Then you can run back in time, fix things, and you guys can go back to living your lives and I can go back to living mine…” 

Barry allowed the silence to grow between the three of them and as Oliver watched, he could tell Felicity was mulling something substantial over. There was something about what Barry had said that didn’t quite sit  _ right  _ with Oliver, though he couldn’t put his thumb on what it was. It was not until Felicity spoke up that Oliver realized what went wrong. 

“Barry… How many times would you say you’ve run through time?” 

Oh wow. Every noise in the world seemed to fade to the background as Barry got a distinct ‘deer in the headlights’ look and the wheels started turning as he attempted to find an acceptable answer to Felicity’s  _ very  _ heavy but remarkably straightforward question.

“I ahh… I mean I don’t keep a running tally,” Barry attempted to duck the question but Felicity was having none of that. 

“That’s fine. By your best guess, how many times would you say?” 

If possible, Barry grew paler yet as he rubbed a hand across the back of his neck, looking incredibly uncomfortable. 

“I mean I’ve done it more than once.” 

“Would you say you’ve done it half a dozen times? A dozen?” Barry’s silence spoke volumes more than any answer he could have given Felicity would have and Oliver could see the stern set to Felicity’s jaw as she nodded slowly. “Barry… we’re talking about how many times you have  _ altered time itself _ and you don’t know for certain? That’s…  _ insane _ . And that’s definitely way too much power for one person to have.” 

“You don’t seem to have any problem with one person having that power now that that one person is  _ you _ ,” Barry snarked back and in an instant, Oliver’s blood pressure shot up as he took one warning step closer to Barry. He was stopped dead in his tracks by Felicity giving his hand the faintest squeeze. And though her touch was feather light, it had him frozen in place, even though he was dying to snap the twerp in half for talking to Felicity like that. 

“I didn’t ask for these powers, Barry,” Felicity reminded him quietly and the time traveler squared off with her, undeterred. 

“And neither did I.” 

“No, but you abused them. You’re the one who talked about how one small change to the timeline can have massive repercussions, yet here you are running through time who knows how often, making it your personal playground. That’s  _ wrong _ , Barry! How can you not see that?” 

“Listen, I learned from my mistakes, okay? I ran back and I saved my mom from getting murdered. But that created a flashpoint and… there were issues. Too much had changed. So then I ran back and I let it happen, alright? I  _ let my mother get murdered.  _ Do you think that was easy? No! But I did it! Because I  _ have  _ learned the responsibility that comes with my powers!” 

Barry’s chest was heaving and his eyes flashed with rage but even as he grew angrier and angrier, Felicity seemed to grow calmer and calmer at Oliver’s side. 

“...And yet, here you are, Barry. Displaced in time, trapped in the past, because you ran through time again trying to change things. At this point that’s not you demonstrating that you’ve learned from your mistakes - that’s you trying to control all the variables and play God.” 

Her voice was soft and relaxed and Oliver was frankly a little surprised at the sense of peaceful acceptance she was giving off. This whole mess had rocked Felicity’s world - and his - yet she was coming to grips with it right before his very eyes. By contrast, Barry seemed to be  _ losing  _ his grip. 

“I was trying to make things better! No more metahuman of the week wreaking havoc on my city! I was going to save people from themselves and from the powers the explosion gave them!” 

“Barry, if you can’t be honest with us, at least be honest with yourself. That’s not why you came back here.” 

Barry glowered at her and Oliver saw the other man’s hand curl into fists. And while Oliver knew Felicity was more than capable of avoiding a punch with her new abilities, he let go of her hand so he could step in front of her, his eyes boring into Barry’s in warning. 

“In case you’ve forgotten, you don’t have superhuman speed anymore. And if I see you make a fist in Felicity’s presence I will not hesitate to.  _ Put. You. Down, _ ” Oliver growled and Barry glared back at him, unmoving. 

“Big talk for a guy missing his signature weapon in hand.” 

Oliver’s scowl deepened, and so did his voice as he spoke again. “ _ I  _ am the weapon, Barry,” Oliver warned, his expression leaving no room for doubt. Barry looked like he was about to burst a blood vessel in his forehead but in answer, he slowly unclenched his hands. 

“I wasn’t going to do anything,” Barry muttered in a foul mood and Oliver quirked a brow at him.

_ No. You aren’t going to do anything. Not while I’m around,  _ Oliver thought to himself with a deep, steadying breath. Felicity laid one of her palms on Oliver’s shoulder as she stepped out from behind him, offering him a small, appreciative smile as she regarded both men in turn. 

“I don’t want this.  _ Any  _ of it. I was perfectly content being a Queen Consolidated employee by day and the Arrow’s tech support by night. But we’re here now. And Barry, I’m sorry. I want to help you, I do. But… I won’t change the timeline to do it. There’s a limit to how much power any one person should have and that? That’s too much by my estimate. What if I accidentally make everything worse? What if I accidentally erase you from existence altogether? There’s an infinite number of ways things could go wrong and alter the future beyond all recognition. I can’t… I can’t risk that.” 

“So you’re not going to help me?” 

Felicity turned a pitying gaze to the man, so displaced in time, and she shook her head. 

“No Barry. I’m not going to help you. At least, not the way you want me to. Even if I was willing to change the timeline, I can’t give you back these powers when, the more you tell me, the more I see how irresponsible you’ve been with them. It is the moral responsibility of those with power to protect those without. And from where I stand, the person you’ve been protecting this whole time has been…  _ you. _ ” 

The room was deathly quiet and Oliver could see Barry’s throat working as he attempted to swallow back his emotions - frustration, anger, sadness, who knew what all he was feeling. He shook as he stared back at Oliver and Felicity.

“You don’t understand… When time is altered, there’s a finite window of time in which it can be fixed again. This timeline has existed for  _ months  _ now - that means that if the past is changed to correct things, there will be differences even now. But the sooner we act, the less severe and the fewer those differences will be. There… There isn’t much time for you to change your mind. You  _ have  _ to change what I’ve done, Felicity. The future is at risk if you don’t.” 

Instead of looking to Felicity, however, Barry looked directly at Oliver then, his gaze pointed. 

“Everything that is supposed to happen in the future could be in jeopardy if you don’t correct my mistake.  _ Everything _ . You think going back is the bigger danger but really? The dangerous choice is staying here and doing nothing to fix this. You have no idea what you could be changing. You could irreparably harm the future. It could cost you and the people around you  _ everything. _ ” 

Oliver felt as though someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over his head as he recalled Barry’s slip up.  _ Everything _ was in jeopardy. Including Oliver’s future marriage to Felicity, it seemed. Despite his hard line against Barry’s plan, Oliver couldn’t help but swallow thickly. A future where he and Felicity were together and  _ married  _ was in jeopardy. And God help him, that was a future that he now desperately wanted to know and to see come to fruition. 

He had thought that he couldn’t be with her and be the Arrow. He had thought he couldn’t be with her  _ and  _ keep her safe. And somehow, some way? They’d managed it. And they were  _ happy.  _ Everything he’d told her after Russia… God. He hated himself for it, even now. But in the future, he had found a way. And that future was what he knew Barry was referencing as being in danger. 

“I understand. But I’m sorry, Barry. I still can’t do what you’re asking me to,” Felicity muttered softly, glancing at Oliver and biting her lower lip. “I umm… I think I’m going to go but… Thank you. For being there for me today.” Felicity’s words were plainly directed at Oliver this time and he wasn’t certain but he thought he caught the faintest blush rising in her cheeks as she thanked him.

“Of course; I’ll always be here for you, Felicity.” 

As Oliver watched, Felicity gathered up her things and, with a backwards glance towards him and Barry, she scooted up the stairs and out of the Foundry. The door closed loudly behind her and the moment it was shut, Barry spun to face Oliver. 

“You have to talk to her.” 

“Felicity makes her own choices, Barry. And she sounds like she’s made up her mind on this one.” 

“She doesn’t know what she’s risking.  _ You  _ do!” 

“Yeah, thanks for that,” Oliver groused, turning his back on the brunette man as he set about pulling the cot Felicity had bought him back out. “Why exactly did you have to go and tell me that? It’s not exactly easy to be near her, knowing what you said. Did you ever think of that?!” 

“I wasn’t really thinking about  _ you  _ when I told you that, Oliver,” Barry shot back hotly. “But now that you know, think of what you’re losing if she doesn’t reset the timeline!” 

“I’ve done nothing  _ but  _ think about it, Barry! But I can’t risk losing her the way that you are lost right now. And I certainly am not going to push her into doing something she’s got her heart dead set against!” 

“Oliver, if you don’t, you two might never get married!” 

“Believe me, I understand what I’m risking. The difference is, I”m not willing to risk her life, even if it means I can never share a life together with her.” 

Barry was silent as he stewed to himself for a moment and then something seemed to dawn on him. 

“You know Oliver, it isn’t just your future you’re risking,” Barry suggested and Oliver rolled his eyes and slammed down the cot as he finished unfolding it. 

“I understand that perfectly well, Barry! It’s her future too.”

“And your children’s.” 

Oliver felt as though Barry had pulled the rug out from under him and he dropped the pillow he’d just picked up as he spun to look at the other man. Oliver’s eyes felt as though they might bug out of his head but this? This was a new development and one that had his heart nearly bursting through his chest. 

“D-Did you say…  _ children _ ? P-Plural? Felicity and I… We have…  _ Children? _ ” 

“Well you did. I can’t promise you will in this version of the timeline. You see, Oliver? By allowing her to leave things in this altered state, you might be protecting Felicity, but you’re putting your children at risk.” 

He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t think.  _ Children _ . Oliver had children. With Felicity. They were parents. God help him, the idea of bringing a child - let alone more than one - into this world, given the lives that they led, was utterly terrifying. The idea of being a dad - even a normal one - was alarming. He’d never been good with kids, never having been around them in the past. But hearing that he and Felicity had a family together? It made Oliver’s heart ache for a future he hadn’t even realized that he desperately,  _ desperately  _ wanted. Knowing they married in the future had been revelation enough. Knowing that they had a family together? 

God. It was more than he had dared to hope for himself.

“At a point in the future, you two are happy. You’re married. You retire. You’ve got two kids. And your kids grow up to be heroes. I’ve seen your daughter and she… Is a lot like both her parents. But none of that might happen now. So tell me, Oliver. Is it still not worth the risk? It’s one life weighed against the many. You need to make Felicity see that. Or nothing that’s supposed to happen will come to pass,” Barry warned and Oliver reached a hand out to steady himself against the wall of the Foundry as his mind spun. 

He had  _ children _ . He and Felicity were happily  _ married _ . And their kids grew up to take on the mantle of heroism. It was enough to make him feel fit to burst with pride.

And all of it was on the chopping block because of the changes to the timeline. Unless Felicity ran through time and messed with it some more. For the first time since all of the time travel fuckery had invaded his life, Oliver was unsure if he had made the right choice in counseling Felicity on what to do. 

But these were hypotheticals. Hypothetical children. And Felicity? She was real. She was flesh and blood and a person he cared about.  _ Deeply.  _ It was apples and oranges to compare the two. Or, so he told himself. Besides, there was no telling if he could trust Future Barry - what if he was just telling Oliver what he wanted to hear in order to persuade him to help? Oliver wasn’t convinced the man before him was trustworthy. 

“Felicity made her choice. And I agree with it. I don’t want to risk her life, Barry. And I won’t. Not for the sake of my happiness and not for the sake of yours either. If Felicity and I are meant to be, we will find a way to be together, even in this new timeline. But even if we don’t? I will spend every day making sure that she is protected from anyone and anything that means her harm. All that matters at the end of the day is that she’s happy and she’s safe… Even if it isn’t with me.” 

Oliver fell silent for a moment, contemplating the weight of what he’d just said. How could he be mourning the loss of children that didn’t yet exist? How could he be sad about missing out on a family he had never even known but, somehow, had become attached to in the minutes since he’d learned of their supposed existence? With a pang, Oliver realized it was because the picture that Barry had painted? Of Oliver and Felicity being happily married, retired, with two kids? He wanted it. He wanted it so desperately he ached for it, yearned for it even. 

But to have it, he would have to send Felicity alone, into the past, with no means of rescue or communication. If it had been his life, Oliver would have rolled the dice in a heartbeat. But to risk Felicity’s life? It was unconscionable. He would rather die than send her into the belly of the beast and lose her there. What Barry had neglected to mention was, either way? Oliver risked losing everything. The difference was, if he lost everything making the gamble Barry wanted, he’d lose Felicity forever. If he gambled by keeping her nearby? It might mean they would never be together but it also meant he would have the peace of knowing that she was alive. Safe. With a chance at a future and happiness. 

There was no decision to make. He wasn’t going to risk Felicity, no matter what future joy it might cost him to do so. 

“Can’t you see how selfish you’re being?!” Barry accused and Oliver bristled at the insinuation. 

“It isn’t selfish of me to prioritize Felicity’s safety over your happiness, Barry. It’s actually costing me a  _ fucking lot. _ ” 

“What about the people whose lives you’re putting in jeopardy by not giving me back my powers? What about all the people I’m supposed to save? You’re condemning them!” 

This was a new tactic, though admittedly an effective one. Oliver pressed his lips together in thought, then frowned. 

“You said that the code Felicity worked up for you controlled the particle accelerator explosion - so by your own admission, the ‘metahuman threat’ you protected people against? ...It no longer exists,” Oliver reasoned and Barry opened his mouth to respond, only for words to fail him. “People will always be in danger from everyday things and everyday evils, Barry. I can’t stop that from happening. All I can do is my best to keep my city and my loved ones safe. And my best? Does not include throwing Felicity into harm’s way. You want to talk in hypotheticals? What happens to all the people that  _ I’m  _ supposed to save if I don’t have Felicity’s help to save them? Lives are always in the balance with what we do, Barry. This choice that I’m making now? This is the choice that lets me sleep at night, feeling that I made the best of a bad situation.” 

Oliver took a deep breath, surprised by the confidence he felt in his response to Barry and the rationale behind it. He was aware he had a history of less than great decision making. His life was living proof of that. But this time? Oliver knew that, whatever it cost him personally to do so, protecting Felicity was the most important thing he could do in this situation.

“It’s over, Barry. Felicity doesn’t want to do it. And nothing you say will convince me that I need to persuade her to do otherwise.” Oliver spared a glance at the cot that she had bought him, his heart softening. She had been back all of a day and already, she’d selflessly set to work at improving his life. 

Because she was Felicity. She made things better. It was just what she inherently did. Whatever the repercussions of Barry’s meddling proved to be, they would handle them. Together. And Oliver had no doubts that she would find a way to come through all of this an even better person than she already was.

That was another Felicity thing. She didn’t just make  _ things  _ better - she made the people around her better too. Barry really could have stood to learn a thing or two from her. 


	7. Chapter 7

As she scraped herself up off of the ground for the fifth time that morning, Felicity tried to ignore the ache in her limbs and the burning of her forearm. As she looked herself over, she saw the rather obvious cause; her arm now bore a fairly significant stretch of angry, bloodied road rash where she had fallen and skidded on her side with her arm extended. 

Good thing she healed almost as rapidly as she could run. 

Dusting herself off, she became aware of Oliver’s voice in the bluetooth at her ear.

“Felicity? Felicity?! Diggle, we need to get out there, she’s not answering me-”

“I’m here,” she sighed as she took a deep breath, her chest heaving. “I’m alright. I just fell again when I was trying to come to a controlled stop.” 

“We should wrap it up for today, Felicity. I don’t want to push you until you hurt yourself beyond what your healing abilities can handle,” Oliver reasoned and she made a growling noise of frustration. 

“No! I’m fine. We should go again. I need to learn to do this.” 

“And you will - in time. Cut yourself a break, Feliclity.” 

“No, Oliver. I want to learn how to control my powers. I can’t keep accidentally speeding myself around. I could hurt someone or worse, I could expose my powers to the wrong person. I’ve got to get a handle on this. So reset. We’re going again,” she insisted as she brushed off her arms and inspected the rest of herself. 

Future Barry had disappeared without a word after her refusal to run back in time for him. He’d vanished without so much as a word to either her or Oliver. So, Felicity was being forced to learn to control her powers blindly. Oliver and Diggle were doing their level best to help her and Caitlin and Cisco had as well, but at the end of the day, none of them knew or understood what it meant to be a metahuman speedster. 

Felicity was still figuring that out for herself. Thus far, being a speedster had entailed a lot of padding - she was dressed from head to toe in every pad imaginable. She had on a rather intense helmet, elbow guards, knee guards, wrist guards, shin guards - the works. Any part of her that could be padded, Oliver had insisted _was_ padded. The rest of her was clad in a wetsuit, so as to protect her skin from any falls or stumbles. Which had worked well enough for the first few falls. But on her fourth tumble her sheer speed combined with the rough terrain of the gravel had led to her prolonged fall and skid doing a real number on the wetsuit - it had chewed right through the arm and knees and her skin was definitely looking worse for wear. She’d only finished healing from the fourth fall a minute ago, which was when she had embarked on her fifth (equally disastrous) attempt.

Enhanced regeneration was a most necessary ability if she was going to survive long enough to figure these frakking powers of hers out. 

As she walked dejectedly back to the far off mobile headquarters that Oliver and Diggle had set up beneath a shade tent, Felicity couldn’t help the frustration welling up within her. She didn’t want to be a vigilante, running around the city fighting bad guys. It was ridiculous to assume that she could go from behind a desk to in the field overnight with no proper training - and truth be told, she had no desire to. Doing that would have been absolutely idiotic and she didn’t have a death wish. She just wanted to have enough control over herself to feel comfortable going out in public. And right now? ...She didn’t. 

Whenever Felicity felt anxious or stressed, she found herself accidentally tapping into her powers - and that could get bad. _Fast_. Luckily, so far nothing terrible had happened but she was keenly aware that it was just a matter of time before the wrong person saw too much. 

“Let me see,” a warm voice murmured as she neared the tent; as Felicity glanced up, Diggle approached her and gingerly lifted her arm so he could inspect it with pursed lips. She knew John wasn’t a fan of her putting herself through this ordeal but unlike Oliver, he seemed to believe she knew her limits and, thus far, he hadn’t said a word to stop her when she insisted on going again and again. 

“How bad is it?” she queried and he gave her one of his classic disarming smiles. 

“Not too bad. Especially given how fast you heal now. I think you’ll probably be fine again in another few minutes.” 

“I meant Oliver,” she murmured, her eyes landing on the not too-distant figure of Oliver as he paced a short distance away, his frustration fairly evident, at least to her eyes. Releasing her arm, Diggle cast a glance Oliver’s way and shook his head, keeping his voice low. 

“He hates this, Felicity. He hates seeing you killing yourself over these powers of yours.” 

“How is me practicing controlling my speed any different from him doing the salmon ladder? Or shooting practice with his bow? Or going rounds on the mat with you? You _both_ get hurt doing that!” Felicity defended herself and John held his arms before him in a show of innocence. 

“I know that. And you know that. But this is Oliver we’re talking about. He’s never going to be okay with us putting ourselves in harm’s way. For any reason. In his mind, the only expendable one around here is him.” 

“That’s _absurd_ ,” Felicity huffed and Diggle chuckled quietly. 

“That’s _Oliver_ , Felicity. When have you known him to be reasonable?” 

“Fair point,” she sighed, her eyes remaining trained on the man in question’s figure as he bent down and picked up a rock, just to throw it away from the mobile HQ. “I don’t know why he’s so worked up over this. I literally have superhuman healing properties now,” she blew out sharply, and from beside her, Diggle chuckled. 

“Felicity, he cares about you.” 

“Yeah, but so do you and you aren’t losing your mind right now,” Felicity pointed out and John rolled his eyes at her. 

“Yes, but I am also not the one who spent the five months you were in Central City trying to take care of you, just for you to wake up and start hurling yourself around at potentially fatal speeds,” John stated and Felicity paused for a moment. 

“I still can’t believe he paid my rent for a year,” Felicity sighed and John blinked at her in surprise. 

“He did what?” 

“He...He paid my rent. Isn’t that what you meant when you said he was taking care of me while I was in my coma?” 

“No… I was talking about how he basically absconded with the family’s private jet to visit you anytime he could. Or all the times he played Doctor Who episodes on a laptop and sat at your bedside watching them with you just so you wouldn’t be alone. And how he brought you blankets and candles from home because he hoped the familiar smells would make you comfortable and maybe help wake you up…” John trailed off and Felicity could only stare blankly at him, feeling newly awed by Oliver.

“Oh,” she murmured, glancing over to Oliver’s distant figure in time to catch sight of him throwing yet another rock. Suddenly, his rage made a little more sense. Here he’d devoted five months to trying to protect her and, in his eyes, she was now squandering that protection to endanger herself. If their positions were reversed, Felicity knew she’d be every bit as worried about Oliver as he probably was about her right now. “...Okay. Right,” she choked out, shaking her head and squaring her shoulders. With controlled strides, she moved towards Oliver, determined to calm him down. 

“Well, I may not be winning any competitions for ‘control of metahuman abilities’ but I’d say you’re definitely in contention for ‘longest rock throw’. You might even take home the gold medal,” she attempted to inject a little lighthearted humor into the situation as she approached him, a hesitant smile on her face. He turned to face her and when he did, the storm clouds in his eyes were evident to her. _Oh Oliver._

“You can’t be so hard on yourself, Felicity. There’s no guide book for acquiring superhuman speed almost overnight. If you just took a step back, you might see what I see - which is that you’re doing _great_.” 

“Were you watching the same ‘me’ that just did a thirty foot skid in the gravel during that last fall? Because I don’t think that ‘me’ is doing so great at this at all,” she teased, pointing over her shoulder with her thumb. 

Oliver frowned at her and shook his head as he reached out with both hands and gingerly captured her arm by the elbow and wrist. “Believe me, I saw every moment of it,” he murmured quietly. Surveying her injuries, she saw his features pinch and his eyes darken as he looked at her shredded flesh, which already looked a little bit better than it had a moment ago when Diggle examined her. Right. He was upset about the whole endangering herself thing. Joking about it was probably not her smartest tactic. Frak. She was bad at this. 

“Felicity, you’re missing the point. Yes, you fell. But you had enough control of your speed that you were able to tap into your speed at will. And you were able to stop at will. Sure, you still have more to learn about controlling yourself as you come to a stop but… you’re managing it better than you give yourself credit for…” 

In the face of his praise, Felicity felt her cheeks warm a bit and she ducked her head and nodded appreciatively.

“Thank you, that… That means a lot coming from you. I just… I want to feel like I’m the one controlling my powers - not the other way around. And I’m not there yet.” 

“You have to give yourself time. You’ll get there eventually.” 

“I don’t have the luxury of time, Oliver. Every time I go outside, I’m risking exposure if I don’t have _complete_ command of my powers. This isn’t me being a perfectionist, this is me being realistic. If I’m ever going to get back some semblance of normalcy, I need to be able to go outside! I need to be able to interview for a new job - and actually _go_ to it without accidentally bulldozing my coworkers in an accidental burst of super speed!”

The sound of the blood roaring in her ears began to drown out the world and she was distinctly aware that her heart was racing and her chest felt tight. 

“Woah woah woah, Felicity. Breathe,” Oliver intervened, trying to calm her but she was too wrapped up in her fears to be so easily assuaged. 

“Oliver, you don’t understand! What if you’re in the field and I let my guard down for a second and the next thing I know, I’m doing that weird vibrating thing and my hand passes through my keyboard instead of typing on it? What if I leave _you_ hanging in a moment of need because I can’t get a grip? I can’t risk that, Oliver! I _won’t._ I need to know how to control my powers. Because if I can’t, all I am is a liability to this team and to you and to everyone around me. I can handle a lot but I can’t handle that. I’ll leave the team before I put you in danger.” 

Silence descended between the two of them then. As Felicity watched, Oliver grudgingly lifted his gaze to her, his eyes skimming across the scuff marks on her elbow pads and her helmet with more than a dash of concern. At long last he heaved a sigh and nodded vaguely. 

“You’re right. You need to be in control enough that you can feel safe. That you can have as normal a life as you possibly can. And I… I understand why you have to do this, so that you can have all of that. I do. It _is_ important. And I want to support you. I _do_ support you.” 

“Thank you,” she hiccuped, feeling self conscious as she stood in her myriad of protective pads and tattered wetsuit before him. He was staring down at her with a look she couldn’t quite place but there was something so exceedingly gentle about it that she felt herself melting beneath it. 

“But Felicity?” Oliver’s voice was a little hoarse as he said her name just above a whisper. 

“Yes?” 

“You are the heart of this team. You think you could endanger me but really, I’m safer with you on the other end of those comms than I ever could be without you. No matter what happens, that will always be true. You’re glue, Felicity. You hold all of this together. This team. This mission… And _me._ ” 

Felicity felt a grateful smile spread slowly across her lips as she stared back at him, a little thunderstruck. She had come to expect a certain level of thickheadedness from Oliver but he had also shown himself capable of moments of extreme insightfulness and kindness. Just now had definitely been one such moment. 

Together, they made their way back to the mobile HQ, where Diggle was waiting with athletic tape for her. Wordlessly, he looked between the two of them and shook his head before he approached Felicity and began to tape her up; in the time her and Oliver had taken to talk and walk back, her skin had taken on the bright pink shine that bespoke a freshly healed wound. It was this area that Diggle now covered in the tape, what with her wetsuit being shredded beyond all recognition. 

When he was finished, he gave a curt nod and then backed away behind the monitoring systems they had set up in the stretch of empty landscape in between Starling and Central City. Oliver turned his gaze to her then and there was something different in his bearing that instantly drew her attention. He smiled brightly at her - a smile that actually reached his eyes, even - and he nodded. 

“You can do this, Felicity. Close your eyes.”

Oliver paused then and arched an eyebrow at her. Flustered, Felicity hurried to close her eyes and obey. After a brief delay, Oliver began to speak again. “Clear your mind. This is no different than when you’re behind a keyboard okay? Your brain is your weapon then; now? Your body is the weapon. Focus on your muscles and especially on your limbs. I don’t know what it feels like to be a speedster but I do know what it feels like to be in the field with high stakes and adrenaline pumping. Find your center. Something that grounds you, that makes you feel happy and safe and secure. Find that and hold onto it. Let it give you the calm that you need to channel your energy into something great.” 

He took a deep breath and she followed suit, matching the speed of her breaths to his. She felt his hands slip between hers, giving her a squeeze of support. 

“You can do this, Felicity. You are not alone. And I believe in you.” 

Felicity felt as though she might explode; she was flooded in warmth and contentment and she could only smile as her eyes fluttered open to find Oliver staring down at her with a look of complete encouragement and kindness and that _something_ that she just couldn’t place but found thoroughly delightful. 

“Thank you, Oliver,” she exhaled, holding his gaze for another long moment before she reluctantly walked towards the spot they had earmarked earlier as her ‘starting line’. As she knelt down into a runner’s crouch, Felicity closed her eyes and tried to do as Oliver had told her to. 

Clear her mind? ...Easier said than done, that. But she did her level best to shove aside the voices of doubt and fear that crowded the edges of her conscience. Find her center? That was perhaps still more challenging. What made her feel happy and safe and secure? 

Helping the city gave her purpose. That made her happy. She liked coffee and ice cream and wine. Those made her happy. She loved her mom and her friends - they made her feel happy. Her job gave her security. But what gave her all of that and more? What made her feel safe even in the darkest of times?

_Oliver._

It was an answer she hadn’t been seeking but it was nonetheless true, even as Felicity struggled to understand the answer her brain had supplied. She trusted Oliver; he had _always_ kept her safe. His presence made her feel seen and appreciated and secure. He was her friend and her teammate. They worked together to do good for the city. 

He made her feel happy. He made her feel safe. And he made her feel secure. 

Hesitantly, she chanced a glance at where he stood, now comfortably ensconced behind the monitors of their mobile HQ. In quite the role reversal, she saw him smile at her just before his voice broke across the com in her ear. 

“Deep breaths. Find that center. And then just… let _go._ You can do this, Felicity.” 

It felt as though there was a constant, low level hum of electricity thrumming through her at his words and Felicity could feel her heart rate speeding up as Oliver spoke. She could remember asking him once ‘ _Don’t you have any happy stories?’_ In her mind, she allowed herself to focus on her friendship with Oliver and all the ways he had shown up and supported her. _Saving her from the Dodger’s explosive necklace. Working together to rescue Walter. Saving her from the Count._

Somehow _he_ had become _her_ happy story.

Platonically. Of course. Because obviously Oliver and her? That was… Well. It was unthinkable. Best not to let herself pine needlessly after a man she could never have. He was her friend and that… Well, it was enough. Or so she told herself. After all, it _had_ to be enough.

The world and all its background noise seemed to fade away to silence and Felicity finally felt her mind and body relax. She could feel the electricity coursing through her veins, the electrical impulses that would compel her limbs to move when she so willed. For the first time, perhaps _ever_ in her life, Felicity felt in tune with her body and her body felt _strong_. 

_Let go._

She did.

Her feet dug in as she shoved off and began to run, the rest of the world falling to slow motion as she did so. As she approached the spray painted marker where she was meant to stop, Felicity collected her limbs back under herself, relaxing into the skid she knew would occur. And as simply as that, she found herself standing smackdab on the painted ‘X’, a twenty foot groove behind her where she’d gone into a controlled slide to stop herself. 

“I did it,” she breathed softly in disbelief, brightening a moment later as the reality of the situation finally processed. “I did it!” she shouted into the comms as she pumped a fist in the air victoriously. She then spun back to look at the distant HQ where she could already hear distant whoops and the faroff figure of Oliver leaping joyously. 

“I knew you could do it! Felicity, you’re remarkable!” 

His voice crackled across the com, bright and effusive. She beamed beneath his praise and though he was still too far off to see it, she was grinning from ear to ear. 

“Thanks to you! I don’t know how but what you suggested just _worked_ and something _clicked_ this time!” 

“It was all you,” Oliver murmured and Felicity shook her head smilingly before she decided to push her luck a little more. Without warning, she began to run again, once more channeling the undercurrent of energy that snapped and crackled beneath her skin. In an instant, she was sliding to a stop back at the HQ, flashing both men a wide smile. 

“I think I’m getting the hang of this!!” 

Diggle blinked at her, his eyes wide and his expression utterly priceless. “I’m never going to get used to that, am I?” he murmured faintly and Felicity couldn’t help but giggle a bit. 

“I think we’re all going to need some time to get used to it, John. But hopefully we all will. And on that note - I’m going to go again.” 

She cast her gaze to Oliver, who pursed his lips in thought at this. 

“Are you sure you don’t want to end there? That was a lot for today, Felicity and it seems like you’re getting the hang of it. Might be a good time to call it a day.” 

“That’s precisely why I want to go again. I want to make sure it wasn’t a fluke. I need more practice. Just let’s do one more for today? Just one, then I promise I’ll take a break. I’m getting hungry anyway,” she pointed out and Oliver caved, nodding slowly.

“Alright. _One_ more run. Then you rest and recharge.” 

“Excellent! You have yourself a deal, Queen.” 

“Probably the _only_ deal I’m going to get at the rate things are going,” Oliver joked and Felicity narrowed her eyes at him as she approached and laid her hands on his upper arms in a friendly, reassuring touch. She knew what he was referencing - the company. They had a hope and a chance of getting it back, if they could convince the board to agree to a deal with Oliver. He clearly thought they wouldn’t - Felicity, however, felt otherwise.

“Not on my watch, mister. First we’re going to get this whole ‘meta powers’ thing under control and then we are going to go corporate master of the universe on the QC Board. You watch. Things are looking up starting _now,”_ she assured him, flashing him a wink before she tightened her left elbow pad and darted back to her starting line, a wide smile in place. 

_Clear your mind. Focus. Center yourself_ , she reminded herself inwardly. 

_Shaking Oliver’s hand to join him in his mission. Swinging across an elevator shaft in his arms. Him storming the underground casino to come to her rescue._

The warmth was building up; she could feel the static crackle of her powers like a wave that was slowly overtaking her. She leaned into it even while her heart thumped vigorously in her chest as she replayed the memories. Just as she was about to release the energy though, his voice sounded in her ears.

“Okay Felicity. You can do this. Just remember, no matter what? I’ll always be here. And you’ll always be my girl.”

Several things happened all at once. Felicity’s heart took off so fast she stopped feeling it altogether and her attention fractured and broke. At the same time, the static crackle of her powers seemed to move from beneath her skin to her fingertips. She had enough presence of mind to lift her hands to look at them but her hands were a blur of motion surrounded in a purple pink glow. And as she lifted them, that glowing seemed to crystallize and then before she could do anything else, she felt the warmth from her fingers depart and the glowing energy shot off in every direction all at once. 

The world sped back up around her and Felicity gasped as her heart slowed back down and the warm energy from her powers abated. But despite being done with the physical undertaking of whatever new power she’d tapped into, Felicity found herself unable to breathe easier as she looked around her.

The mobile HQ was in tatters and looked like a bomb had gone off. Computers and various tech was strewn about, some smoking, some fritzing with static electricity. It was not the destroyed tech, however, that did Felicity in.

It was the sight of Diggle crouched over Oliver, who was lying prone on the ground, that made Felicity stagger. 

“John?! What happened?!” Felicity questioned as she took a step towards the tent, only for Diggle to throw a hand up, halting her.

“Don’t come any closer Felicity; I don’t know what just happened but you let loose some big burst of energy and a bolt of what looked like lightning hit Oliver square in the chest. Just… stay there. If you go full electric shock again, you could kill him.” 

Felicity felt her breath catch in her throat and she began to tremble as she watched, powerless to help, while John leaned over Oliver and began chest compressions. Her eyes slammed shut to try and block out the sight of Oliver’s motionless figure, his head lolling. God, what had she done? Oliver had survived five years in hell on that island and two years of running around Starling as a vigilante and now he was going to die because a bumbling IT girl with metahuman powers had lost control and shocked him to death? 

She would never forgive herself. 

“John? Please tell me he’s alive,” Felicity gasped through her tears as she opened her eyes in time to watch John continue to work on Oliver, going so far as to give him mouth to mouth. He shot her a look that did little to calm her and Felicity instinctively clenched her hands into fists and focused on keeping her hands at her sides so as not to throw energy around again. She needed to stay calm to avoid accidentally tapping into her powers - but calm was the furthest thing she was capable of as she listened to John pound on Oliver’s chest to try and get his heart beating again. Was it really possible that at the same time he had set her heart to racing with his words of encouragement, his heart had stopped beating _permanently?_

 _Oh god._ What had she done?!

\-----

Watching Felicity fall was perhaps one of the harder things Oliver Queen had been forced to bear witness to in his life thus far. It was admittedly not as hard as watching his mother or Shado being murdered in front of him. But it certainly ranked high on his list of miserable memories. And that was saying something.

Every time Felicity took off from the starting line, Oliver felt like his heart was taking off with her. His heart raced with worry and every time she fell, his heart was in his throat until her voice broke across the comms, reassuring Diggle and himself that she was unscathed. Granted, they’d learned that she healed rapidly. But that in no way meant Oliver was alright with her getting hurt. 

He was never going to be ‘okay’ with that. 

When she wiped out bad enough to rip her suit to shreds, Oliver had tried to call it a day. But Felicity would not hear of it and even Diggle had seemed inclined to let her continue, given that her wounds weren’t ‘that bad’ and she was healing so rapidly that in no time at all, her skin was back to normal, with a healthy pink sheen where the skin had knitted itself back together. 

Oliver had bit the inside of his cheek so hard that he drew blood but he’d gone along with it. Mostly because he hadn’t had a choice. Felicity had stepped up to the starting line and gone again. And she had wiped out. _Again._ It was at that point that he’d stormed away from the mobile HQ, too heated to handle this anymore. 

Was this what it felt like for her every time that _he_ went out into the field? No, of course not. That would be ridiculous. They were friends. She didn’t see him _that_ way. But god help him, Oliver couldn’t help but see Felicity _that way_ these days. He would have liked to have pinned the blame on Barry for letting slip what the future had held for Oliver and his blonde girl Wednesday (Felicity had corrected him that it was ‘Girl Friday’ but he was still partial to his ‘Girl Wednesday’ version). But in truth, Oliver knew that he’d been feeling something _more_ towards Felicity for...well, for longer than he truly cared to contemplate. She’d always had a special place in his heart. And now that special place was being obliterated time and time again as he watched Felicity hurl herself around at breakneck speeds, only to hurt herself each and every time. 

It was too much. 

Oliver had picked up a rock and chucked it, anything to release some of the frustration and fear that had built up inside of him over the course of Felicity’s ‘practice runs’. He just wanted her safe. Why did she need to learn to use these powers at all if she was going to be behind a computer in the Foundry, safe at the comms and not out in the field? 

Not a short moment later, Felicity had approached him and in talking with her, Oliver got a clearer sense of where her head was at - and why mastering her powers was so important to her. And he had to admit (though grudgingly) that what she was saying? It made sense. He understood. Hell, he even agreed with it. 

That didn’t mean he _liked it_. But he did have to support her. And that? That he knew he could do. 

Supporting Felicity? It was the easiest thing in the world. It came naturally to him, when he took his head out of his ass long enough to have a coherent thought. Of course she needed to feel that she was in control enough to live a normal life. That… made perfect sense. And he _wanted_ that for her. If she could resume normalcy even with her powers, she could lead a happy, healthy life with ease, of that he had no doubts.

 _Not to mention, if she resumed her normal life, there was a chance that the future as Future Barry saw it might still come to pass_. 

It was a profoundly selfish thought. One that Oliver shoved out of his head as soon as it had crossed his mind. His priority needed to be Felicity. And _only_ Felicity. Her wellbeing. Her safety. It was all tied to her learning to control the powers she now possessed. How could he help her achieve that? _That_ was the kind of stuff he needed to be thinking. 

Oliver had done his level best to advise her, though it was hard, given that he had _absolutely no idea_ what it was to be a metahuman. But he knew what it was to deal with stress. To be uncertain. To be afraid. And he knew how to channel his own abilities (mundanely human and non-super though they were) in the heat of action. So it was with that in mind that Oliver coached her, delighting in watching her close her eyes before him and take in his words. 

More delightful still was watching her succeed. The way she pumped a fist in the air and delightedly exclaimed into the comms? It made his heart swell with pride and something else that he wasn’t sure how to place. 

_Love._

Even thinking that four letter word made his heart race a little faster but as Felicity came zipping back to the mobile HQ, Oliver found himself unable to deny it. It was true - he _did_ love her. He’d realized it when everything had happened with Slade, but even then he hadn’t quite understood precisely how and how much he loved her. But he was getting a clearer picture of that by the minute. And it was not just because Barry had come along and told him that she one day became his wife. It was more than that. If Oliver was honest, he’d been in love with Felicity for some time. Perhaps ‘love at first sight’ sounded bold, but he could still remember the moment he’d stolen a glimpse of her, when he’d visited QC before he’d returned ‘from the island’. She’d captured his interest then. Every interaction since that first one, he’d been falling steadily deeper and deeper in love with her. 

Maybe without Barry’s meddling, it would have taken him longer to come to terms with it and to realize the depth of his feelings. But Barry _had_ come along and he _had_ meddled and as Oliver beamed at Felicity as she bantered with John, he knew there was no going back.

He didn’t just _love_ Felicity. 

He was _in love_ with Felicity. 

And he wasn’t going to sit idly by loving her either. As Oliver watched her gear up for another run (over his gentle objections) he was certain of two things:

One: He loved Felicity Megan Smoak.

Two: Life was unpredictable. Yachts sank. Lightning struck. And because of its unpredictability, life was _precious_ and could not be taken for granted. Tomorrow was never promised. If tomorrow or the next day, he was to die, Oliver knew he didn’t want to die with things left unspoken or undone. 

To that end, he was going to tell Felicity the truth of how he felt for her. And maybe she would turn him down - it was certainly a possibility. But it was a risk he had to take. Because he loved her. And he wanted to be with her. That realization in and of itself was new and exciting for him; he couldn’t recall a time in his life where he had wanted to be with a woman because of the future he could envision for them together. Even with Laurel, who he’d been with for so long, he’d never gotten excited about making plans for tomorrow. But Felicity? He wasn’t even with her and he was already envisioning what their lives together could be like. 

As she readied herself at the starting line for her final run, Oliver could only grin as he pictured taking her out to eat after all this. Maybe he could ask her over Big Belly Burger to go to a more proper dinner. A dinner date.

A _date_ date. 

“Okay Felicity. You can do this. Just remember, no matter what? I’ll always be here. And you’ll always be my girl,” Oliver rumbled reassuringly over the coms to her, smiling proudly as he watched her collect herself with newfound confidence. 

Events began to run together after that. 

All at once, light blossomed from her fingertips and swirled around her hands, engulfing Felicity in a pinkish purple glow. Fear clawed at him and he began to move towards her, his protective instincts kicking into overdrive. He saw her lift her hands and as she did so, light erupted out from her and then everything went _dark._

\-----

Felicity was having a hard time remaining standing as the force of her physical shaking grew more intense and her legs seemed to turn to jello beneath her. But her terror at the idea of accidentally letting loose more energy and hurting Diggle and Oliver kept her on her feet - if only barely. After what felt like an eternity however, Oliver’s body twitched and she heard a ragged gasp.

“Oliver!? John is he okay?” 

“He’s okay, Felicity!” John called to her as he helped Oliver up into a sitting position. From her vantage point, Felicity could see that the side of Oliver’s head was bloodied and his face was pale. He blinked and looked around, plainly disoriented until his eyes landed on her. 

“Felicity?!” 

As she watched, he attempted to scramble to his feet, only to clutch at his chest and wince while John laid a hand on his shoulder to hold him back.

“Woah, easy there Oliver. You shouldn’t push it just yet. You took a nasty hit there,” Diggle cautioned and Oliver rolled his shoulders and shook his head.

“I’m fine. How’s Felicity? Felicity? How are you?” 

Despite Diggle’s protests, Oliver pushed himself up onto his feet, staggering as he did so. Felicity could see the gash on the side of his head clearly as he began to walk towards her on unsteady feet. In an instant, her heart rate surged again and she felt terror lance through her.

“Oliver stop!” she cried out, keeping her hands at her sides for fear of moving them. “Don’t come near me! I don’t want to hurt you!” 

“You’re not going to hurt me, Felicity,” Oliver grumbled, still barreling towards her at a limping walk, Diggle on his heels. 

“I didn’t think I was going to hurt you a minute ago and somehow I did. I don’t have control, Oliver. I’m dangerous! Even John thinks so,” she tried to reason with him, shaking her head as she timidly backed away from him as he continued to approach her. Each step felt like walking on eggshells and she was terrified more energy would come pouring out of her and strike Oliver down. Nothing of the sort happened, thankfully. 

“Felicity, don’t be ridiculous-” Oliver began and he was so close now that she could see the blood beading down the side of his face. She could see the angry vine-like marking that bloomed across his cheek where some of the energy she’d given off had hit him and entered his body. And she could see the feral look in his eyes as he got still closer. 

“Oliver STOP!” she shouted, quivering violently now. “Please. If you won’t stay away from me for your sake, stay away for mine. I have lost enough important people in my life already, Oliver. Just the thought of losing someone that important to me again-” she was in an emotional tailspin, rambling like a fool but Oliver didn’t so much as blink at it.

“Hey you’re not gonna lose me, Felicity. Whatever it is that’s going on with your powers… We’ll figure it out.” 

“I don’t want to hurt anyone, Oliver.” 

“You won’t. Look at me. Listen to my voice,” he encouraged her and Felicity forced herself to meet his gaze, even as the tears welled within her eyes and slid down her cheeks. “Felicity, it was an accident. Accidents happen. I’m fine though. See? I’m okay. Just… come here, please.” 

He held a hand out towards her, waiting for her to take it. She stared at his outstretched palm like it was an explosive. Her gaze darted from Oliver’s hand to Diggle, clearly seeking guidance. But John offered nothing up, instead watching solemnly from a little ways behind Oliver. 

Still shaking like a leaf, Felicity took one tentative step towards Oliver, her eyes squeezed shut with fear. But even as her foot touched lightly on the gravel, nothing happened. No sudden surge of energy, no crackle of electricity. Nothing. Opening her eyes, she looked around uneasily, her tense muscles slowly beginning to relax as she realized all was still well. 

Gingerly, she closed the distance between herself and Oliver; when she reached him, her hands shook as she slowly lifted them to his face, her fingers hovering near the bloody gash and the singed area near it. 

“Oh Oliver… I’m so sorry,” she whimpered but he shrugged away her concern as his hands touched lightly on her upper arms while _he_ looked _her_ over with concern. 

“You don’t owe me any apologies, Felicity. It was an accident. And I’m fine.” Yet the way he was standing - a little hunched, not straight and tall - indicated he was far from. Then there was the gash on the side of his head. The singed skin. And though he tried to mask it, she knew him well enough to know what ‘pain’ looked like on Oliver Queen and his eyes? His eyes were _pained._

“You could have _died_ ,” Felicity growled as she held her hands before her in horror. “You could have died and I would have been the one responsible. I almost _killed you_ , Oliver!” 

Saying it out loud made it more real. And as easily as that, Felicity felt something inside her snap. The tears came hot and fast and she could do nothing to stop them. 

At some point, she felt his arms wrap around her and pull her in for a warm, if somewhat awkward hug; he seemed to be avoiding the right side of his chest. _He probably had a few broken ribs given how long Diggle was doing manual chest compressions._ The notion that he was going to be in pain for _weeks_ because of broken ribs she’d inflicted upon him just sent her even deeper into the sorrow prompting her tears. 

Her hands grabbed fistfuls of the fabric of his shirt as she buried her face against his chest. She took solace in the familiar smell of him and the comfortable warmth of his embrace but even both of those things combined could not chase away her tears. The guilt she felt, coupled with the very real terror that had hung over for those long moments when she hadn’t known if he would live or die? It clung to her. 

“I’m so sorry. Oliver, I’m so, so _sorry_ ,” she whimpered through tears that fell quickly from her face, landing upon his shirt like rain. Her breathing was ragged and her voice rasped while her eyes slammed shut to stave off the memories of Diggle frantically working to bring him back to life. 

She had almost killed Oliver. The person who had been there for her time and time again. The one who had not only helped her to find her center, but who _was_ her center. Her friend. The man she l-

The man she believed in. And cared for. 

“Felicity, do you think I became The Arrow overnight?” 

She was still against him and then, very slowly, she shook her head against his chest. 

“No. I didn’t. It took me what felt like an eternity and a lot of failures before I could hit a target with an arrow. Everything that I can do today? I spent years learning and practicing and perfecting. Nothing… nothing that requires skill comes ready-made. It takes a lot of hard work. Today was _one_ small setback, Felicity. It doesn’t mean you won’t get there eventually.” 

“Oliver, you don’t understand. This? It’s different. I’m a weapon _all the time._ I can’t relax even for a second - you saw what happened when I did! I have to keep my guard up _constantly._ The minute I don’t, I could kill someone. I feel _so alone_ ,” she gasped quietly and she felt him shift against her as he tried to pull her back from his chest. As he did, she saw him searching out her gaze and she met his eyes reluctantly, trying to wipe the tears from her own. 

“Felicity, you aren’t-”

“-alone. I know you keep saying that, Oliver. But how can I let anyone in when I can’t even relax and be myself? How am I supposed to live anything resembling a normal life when I have to keep my walls up 24/7 for everyone else’s safety?! I feel like I’m… I’m...”

“...-on an island?” Oliver supplied and Felicity fell still, staring back at him with newfound appreciation for what he had been through all those years. 

“Yes,” she sighed as she massaged her temple with one hand. “I just...I’m scared, Oliver. All the time. I’m scared of my powers. I’m scared of myself. I’m scared I made the wrong choice telling Barry no, I’m scared that I’m not cut out for these powers. I thought Barry had used these powers irresponsibly but look at me. Can I honestly say I’m doing any better than he did?” 

“Hey,” Oliver’s voice dropped an octave and she shivered as his hands came to grasp her by both elbows as he stared down at her intently. “Yes. Yes you _are_ doing a better job than he did.” 

“How can you possibly know that?” 

“I know it because you’re asking yourself that question! Do you really think Barry was debating these sorts of things when he was changing the past? Because I don’t! I think he was more concerned with what his powers could do for him than he was concerned about what his powers could do for others.” 

“But he said he was a hero,” Felicity countered and Oliver let out a soft hiss as he exhaled sharply. 

“According to him he was, sure. But doing heroic acts isn’t what makes a hero. Anyone can come to another person’s aid. A hero is...a hero is someone who chooses to put other people’s safety above their own. And Felicity… that is what you did. You said no to Barry because you were prioritizing the safety of the people whose lives he would endanger or alter by continuing to meddle in time. You put them above yourself, knowing full well that these powers would change your life. That makes you a hero - at least from where I stand.” 

“I wasn’t trying to be a hero. I was just trying to do the right thing. It’s… It’s different. _You_ do the heroics around here. And for all his flaws… at least Barry could _control_ his powers. He wasn’t causing electric bursts to shock everyone in a fifteen foot radius of him just because he let his guard down.” 

“The Barry we saw had also had his powers for _years;_ who knows what he was like when he first got his powers! I’m sure he had more than his share of screw ups too.” Not that the asshole had stuck around for them to ask. If Oliver ever saw Future Barry again, he was going to strangle that guy for leaving Felicity high and dry just because she wouldn’t do his bidding. It was wrong, letting her flounder with these abilities when it was within Future Barry’s power to help. 

Oliver really hated that guy.

“But his screw ups didn’t almost kill his teammates,” Felicity stated hollowly and Oliver gritted his teeth and took a breath.

“I will argue that you don’t know that for a fact but regardless, you have to go easy on yourself, Felicity. Control will come with time and practice. I know you. You can do anything you set that brilliant mind of yours to.” 

Gently, he tapped her forehead with his pointer finger, eliciting a small smile from her in response. 

“I just want to go back to being the girl on the other end of the comms, Oliver.” 

Nodding, he offered her his arm and she took it gratefully, pressing her face against it as they began to slowly walk back towards the fried remains of their mobile headquarters. 

“And you can, Felicity. But no matter what side of the comms you’re on, you’re a hero in my book.” 

Felicity drew up short at that, her eyes traveling up to his as she stared at him in disbelief, the tears once more welling. “Oliver...I-I need you to promise me something.” 

“Anything,” he responded back without taking so much as a beat and his certainty warmed her heart. 

“I need you to promise me that if I become a danger to anyone - especially to you or Diggle - that you’ll put an end to things.” 

Oliver blanched at that and looked at her with wide eyes as the color continued to drain out of his face. “What do you mean ‘put an end to things’?!”

“I think you know exactly what I mean.” 

“Absolutely not.” 

“You have to.” 

“No.” 

“I almost _killed you_ , Oliver!” Felicity’s voice rose with emotion once more. “I have survived a lot of things in my life, Oliver. But I could not survive that, do you hear me? I cannot lose you!” 

“How many times do I have to tell you, _you’re not going to lose me_ , Felicity!” 

“Promise me, Oliver. Promise me that if it comes down to me or the city, you’ll choose the city.” 

“This is absurd, we’re not having this conversation,” Oliver shook his head and tried to walk away, only to be drawn up short by her grip on his hand. 

“Yes, yes we are. You said being a hero meant putting others above yourself? Well, that’s what I’m trying to do. If I can’t get these powers under control, if I become a danger to people, you have to put an end to it. Put an end to _me_. Promise me.” 

“No,” Oliver barked angrily and she could see his eyes flashing with rage and hurt. Desperate, she turned her attention to Diggle, who was standing in silent observation a short way behind Oliver. 

“John, _you_ promise me then-” she began, only for Oliver to snarl and spin towards Diggle, shaking his head as he held up a hand to stop him from answering. 

“ENOUGH!” Oliver shouted, looking from Diggle back to Felicity, the pain in his eyes only intensifying. She knew what she was asking of him was unbearably hard. And she couldn’t honestly say that, if their places were reversed, she would be able to do the same for him.

Killing Oliver? That was beyond unthinkable. That was cataclysmic. But he was the King - she was just a pawn, or at best a bishop. And if she became a danger? She needed to be removed from the board.

“Oliver, please. Please do this. For me,” she begged. His chest was heaving and his expression was murderous but at the pleading note in her voice, he seemed to soften, if only infinitesimally. “The only way I am going to get through this is if I know that you are going to be there to pull the plug if I lose control. Please, Oliver. I need you to do this for me.” 

His eyes fluttered shut and she could see he was warring with himself. 

“Please, Oliver. I need you now.” 

\-----

It was that last which crumbled his resolve entirely. _I need you now._ How could he refuse her? In short - he couldn’t. 

“Fine, Felicity. If you lose control... I’ll be there. I promise.” 

He wasn’t going to be there the way she meant though - under no circumstances would Oliver ‘pull the plug’ on the life of Felicity Smoak. Over his dead fucking body. But he _would_ promise to be there to find _another_ way of stopping her from hurting herself - and others - if things came to that. 

Which they wouldn’t. He would see to that. 

She relaxed against him and he could see the tension seeping out of her; she had obviously been more stressed about this than he had even realized. 

“Thank you, Oliver,” she whispered as she wrapped her arms around one of his and then pressed her face against his shoulder. “I can’t tell you how much it means to me to know that… no matter what? I’ve got you.” 

Something inside of him deflated as she said those words. And it should have been a good thing - in truth it _was_ a good thing. Knowing that she trusted him so completely, _relied_ on him to this extent? It made him feel good. It made him feel as if he had actually become a better man in the time that he had known her, to become deserving of such an honor. 

But at the same time, knowing that she felt this way? It changed everything and nothing all at once. 

He could not, under any circumstances, do anything that would imperil their relationship as friends. She was counting on him in such a tremendous way - to press for them to become _more_ right now? It would have been the height of selfishness. And Oliver did not have it in him to be selfish at Felicity’s expense. 

He loved her. And he, Oliver Jonas Queen, was hardly an expert on love. But he knew himself well enough to know that he loved Felicity more than any other woman he had been with. In truth, he’d never been in love before. Not really. He’d been in lust more times than he could count. And he had, to an extent, cared about other women he’d been with. But love? That had never been on the table before, no matter what he might have said to the contrary to the faces of those women. 

He had cared deeply for Shado. Love might be a bold statement but she would have been perhaps the closest thing to it that he had experienced. And sure, he cared for Sara deeply. But was that love? If it was, it felt more platonic than romantic, honestly. Love, of the soul consuming, life altering, heart making or breaking variety? He had not experienced that before now. 

Did he love Felicity Megan Smoak? Absolutely. He knew that he wanted to be with her. Desperately. But because he loved her, he couldn’t be with her. She needed to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he would always be there. If he pursued a romance with her, it might jeopardize things between them.

If they broke up badly, would she even _want_ him around for support? Probably not. And then her fear of struggling in solitude would be a reality. Oliver couldn’t let that happen.

He loved her. And because he loved her, he would do nothing to clue her in to how he felt towards her. He would throw himself into being her friend and her support system. Swallowing thickly, Oliver chased away the mental image of himself and Felicity with a pair of kids. Ever since Barry had let slip the truth, Oliver had been imagining countless futures with Felicity. A hundred lifetimes, a hundred happy love stories. A hundred hopes and dreams that he now boxed up and put away, compartmentalized in the back of his brain.

She needed him just as he was. He could not tempt that. She needed his support and his friendship. And she would have it. She would also have his blossoming romantic devotion but that? That would be his secret.


	8. Chapter 8

Over John’s protests, Oliver had insisted on being the one to take Felicity home. Sure, his chest hurt like hell - he was definitely nursing at least a couple broken ribs, he was guessing - but he wasn’t about to let that stop him. Felicity was still visibly shaken by the entire ordeal back at their practice site and she was extremely jumpy. Oliver was loath to leave her alone when she was so plainly distressed. 

And that was how he had come to escort Felicity to her front door despite her insistence that he go home and take care of himself. 

“Really, Oliver I’ll be fine. You should go get yourself checked out. Make sure you aren’t hurt worse than you think,” Felicity tried to press as she slipped her keys out of her purse and unlocked her door as he stood beside her, a brooding shadow. 

As if he gave a flying fuck about taking care of himself right now. 

“Felicity, you haven’t stopped shaking the whole way back to Starling. I’m not going to leave you alone like this. You made me promise to be there for you. This is me doing that.” 

He watched as she gnawed at her lower lip a moment, considering his words before she sighed and seemed to give in as she put her shoulder to the door and pushed it open to admit him to her place. 

He had been here before, albeit infrequently, and Felicity’s home never failed to put him into a relaxed state of mind. It was quintessential ‘Felicity’; airy and bright with lots of natural light. She had plants scattered throughout the space and a comfortable yet stylish selection of furniture. There was a pleasant balance of neutral tones with pops of color and a few cheerful pieces of wall art. His favorite was of course, the Robin Hood poster that was hung prominently above her television but that might have been rather biased of him to like. 

“Sorry for the mess, I wasn’t exactly expecting company,” Felicity explained as she toed a pair of boots out of the entryway and scooted aside to make room for him. He stepped across the threshold after her, relaxing almost automatically. 

The air smelled faintly of coffee and citrus and _fresh_. Maybe it was the plants or the fact that she cleaned regularly but the air was nice. Crisp. The coffee had obvious origins within a gleaming coffeemaker in the kitchen and the citrus, he put down to a fruit bowl on the counter which currently boasted a number of oranges. Or tangerines. It was hard to say from here. 

“You don’t need to tidy on my account, Felicity,” He chuckled as she darted ahead of him, grabbing miscellaneous objects here and there. 

“Oliver Queen is in my living room. Tidying is the least thing I can do,” she retorted with anxious chipperness. As he watched though, her figure began to blur as she unintentionally began to tap into her speed while she collected magazines and stray socks with gusto. Doing his level best to time it right, Oliver reached out and grabbed for her as the Felicity-shaped blur passed him and she came to a halt, clutching an empty water glass in one hand and a discarded jacket in the other, his arm around her middle and holding her surprisingly close to him.

“Felicity. Relax. It’s fine. It’s just me. And besides, I like your place exactly as it is,” he reassured her quietly as he gently pressed a lock of her hair between the fingers of his free hand, putting out the tiny little lick of flame that had sparked as she’d come to a stop. They both watched a wisp of smoke curl up into the air before dissipating and then their eyes slowly fell back to one another's faces. 

“Thank you,” she exhaled as her shoulders slumped a little and he gently released her. 

“Don’t mention it,” he waved aside her thanks as he pried off his shoes near the doorway and walked deeper into her place in sock clad feet. “Mind if I sit down?” 

“Please!” Felicity leaped to move aside a decorative pillow for him but he held her off by lifting his hands to calm her before he sat against the couch, pillow and all. 

“I’ve always liked your place,” Oliver commented as he looked around smilingly and Felicity cast him a dubious look as she carried the empty glass into the kitchen at a more normal rate of speed. 

“You? Oliver Queen, mister ‘lived in a literal mansion’ likes my little eight hundred square foot living space? Isn’t this like… the size of a closet in the Queen mansion?” 

Oliver rolled his eyes at her as she grinned and came to sit on the opposite end of the couch, her eyes glittering playfully as she fixed him with a stare. 

“Yes, my family’s place is big. Well… _was._ But this? Felicity, this is a real, _lived in_ space. I love it. It’s homey. And besides, it’s not the size of the house that makes it a home. Your place? It always makes me feel _safe._ Y’know? This is a happy home. Mine was… rather less so.” 

“Is this where you launch into a tortured speech about how money can’t buy happiness?” Felicity inquired teasingly and Oliver shook his head and chuckled, pleased to hear the melodic notes of her own laughter following his. 

“Something like that but as usual, you’re way ahead of me, so I suppose I’ll skip it today,” he bantered easily watching delightedly as Felicity seemed to continue to relax. She’d even stopped shaking and now only fidgeted occasionally. It was definitely an improvement. 

“Thank you, Oliver. For everything. You… You can’t imagine how much it means to me.” 

Felicity reached forward and covered one of his hands in one of her own and he felt his heart skip a beat at the simple, innocent touch. His mouth went dry and it took him a moment to get his bearings. 

_Fuck._ He needed to pull it together. 

“Felicity, you don’t need to thank me. I’m always going to be there for you - I promise.” 

Silence fell between them and Oliver felt the mood shift from relaxed to a little uncertain and he tried to get out ahead of the awkwardness before it could take root. 

“Listen, I just wanted to make sure you made it home safe-”

“Would you mind staying a while?”

They had both spoken in unison and now sat staring at each other as they tried to process what the other had said. 

“You want me to stay?” Oliver was the first to speak and she looked at him with wide eyes, suddenly looking unsure of herself. 

“Yes. I mean no. I mean if you wouldn’t mind, I’d really appreciate it but you probably want to go and that’s fine, if you need to go you should totally go-”

“-back to the foundry and my cot? Don’t get me wrong, my cot is lovely and all, but trust me, Felicity. I’m in no rush. I can stay as long as you like.” 

“Really?” 

“Absolutely. Nowhere else I’d rather be. Go do whatever you need to do. I’ll just be here. Deal?”

“Deal.” Felicity offered him a relieved smile and slowly drew away as she stood and went to fetch the TV remote. She left him to his channel surfing and he listened contentedly to the sounds of her moving around her place. 

“Felicity, are you hungry?” 

It was a silly question - these days? She was _always_ hungry; the caloric demands that her speed placed on her meant that Felicity was almost always munching on a snack or seeking out a meal. Right away, he saw her head poke out from her bedroom, her eyes wide and a faint smile on her face. 

“Are you offering me food, Oliver?” 

He chuckled. Was he offering her food? He would have offered her the moon if it was in his power to give. 

“If you’ve got food here, I can whip something up. Or I can order in.” 

“I think you mean _I_ can order in, unless you got your family fortune back and neglected to tell me?” A wink accompanied this bit of banter and he stuffed his hands in his pockets as he huffed a sigh. “Although, technically I’m unemployed too. I conveniently keep forgetting that.” 

Oliver rolled his eyes, trying to be playful and banter with her but still unable to help the pang of guilt he still felt regarding her lack of employment. It was, after all, his fault. 

“I’ll see what you’ve got in your kitchen.” 

As he rifled through her stock, she made her way to the bathroom where the sound of running water soon followed. Oliver did his level best to focus on the sparsely stocked pantry in front of him and not on the fact that Felicity was showering just down the hall.

Friends. They were friends. And only friends. And he was going to make his friend a meal.

His friend who he was in love with. Yep.

What she had was a great deal of frozen dinners, as it turned out. Which, based on what he knew of Felicity? ...That tracked. She wasn’t much of a cook, to hear her tell it. Still, he did find some pasta and some fresh vegetables so in short order, he had put together a salad and a simple pasta dish (complete with sauce out of a jar, though it physically pained him to feed it to her - he happened to know a homemade tomato basil sauce that was exquisite but she didn’t have fresh tomatoes…or basil, fresh or otherwise). He added a bit of additional seasoning (‘seasoning’ being pepper, garlic powder, and salt as that was all she had in her pantry) and seeing her modest wine collection, he grabbed an accompanying bottle of red and left it unopened on the table, for her to partake in if she so chose. 

“Something smells amazing!” 

He spun towards the sound and found a freshly showered Felicity emerging from the bathroom in a cloud of steam, her damp hair pulled up into a messy ponytail and a smile on her face as she padded towards him dressed in a tank top and pajama shorts.

“It’s not anything particularly grand,” he began to explain and she waved aside his remarks as she sat down at the table, eyeing the pot of pasta appreciatively. 

“I’m amazed you could cobble anything together given my limited cookware and even more limited pantry,” she confessed as she inhaled deeply and sighed. “It smells incredible. Seriously.” 

“And all it took was a pot of boiling water,” he teased as he passed her a fork and a napkin before he sat down opposite of her, studying her intently. “Please tell me you are capable of boiling water.” 

“I have a very high IQ, Oliver, I think I am capable of heating water to a boil.” 

“I’ve seen your freezer, Smoak. Quite frankly the number of frozen dinners is, in a word? Alarming. I have to be sure you can feed yourself.” 

“Where there are frozen dinners, there is a well fed Smoak woman,” she grinned as she speared the pasta with her fork, taking an appreciative bite and then humming delightedly. “Scratch that - where there is an Oliver Queen, there is a well fed Felicity Smoak. This is spectacular.” 

“You’re entirely too easy to impress.” 

“I eat frozen meals and take out. Fresh food is a rarity and it is one I will applaud. So suck it up and accept my praise, Queen,” she beamed at him as she took another bite, looking equally delighted with that bite as she had the first. Oliver shook his head and suppressed a smile as he offered her a helping of salad before he set about serving himself. 

As he sat across from her, watching her eagerly eat the meal he’d prepared for her, Oliver was struck by a pang of desire. He wanted this. Wanted to make her meals. He didn’t want her to microwave those sad little frozen dinners night after night. He wanted to make her fresh bread from scratch. He wanted to whip up monte cristos, chicken cordon bleu, and broccoli tartine for her. He wanted her to come home after a long day of work to a hot meal with her favorite wine already poured and ready for her. 

He wanted to be there to support her. 

_Enough._ He couldn’t let his thoughts go down that road. What he wanted didn’t matter. All that mattered was keeping Felicity safe, keeping her happy, and helping her to control her powers. She didn’t need her teammate and former boss hitting on her. That was the opposite of helpful. 

“You’re awfully quiet. Cat got your tongue?” 

He snapped back to the present and found her staring at him cheekily as she chewed on a mouthful of salad. 

“Just thinking,” he confessed and she narrowed her eyes at him as she considered this. 

“About?”

“You,” he answered honestly. In response, Felicity’s eyes flared open wide and she spluttered and choked on her pasta for a moment before she got herself under control and looked back to him, wheezing slightly.

“ _Me?!_ ” Felicity gasped in surprise, grabbing suddenly for the wine bottle. 

“Yes you.” 

“What about me?!” 

“About how I can help you with all of… this,” he gestured around vaguely as he grabbed up the corkscrew and put a hand out towards her. She passed over the bottle to him and then her eyes dropped to the tabletop and a blush crept up her neck and spread across her cheeks. 

“You nearly get killed trying to help me control my powers. You drive me home to be sure I make it safely. You _cook me dinner_ to make sure I’m well fed and you are sitting here asking yourself what more you can do for me?” Felicity blinked at him for a moment and then shook her head. Oliver felt his breath catch in his throat and for a moment he feared he’d gone too far and this was her calling him out. 

It wasn’t.

“You know, Oliver you better be careful. Someone might realize you’ve got a heart of gold if you keep this up. It’ll be ruinous on your grizzled tough guy act.”

He was stunned into silence for a brief moment before he broke into laughter, Felicity’s giggles joining him a moment later.

The rest of the meal proceeded uneventfully; they spoke of plans for the coming days and week; Felicity was reluctant to practice using her powers again but Oliver was insistent that she do so, if for no other reason than to feel secure in her own skin. They discussed some of the current SCPD cases they were keeping tabs on and then the conversation turned to their families. Thea was still globetrotting and Felicity’s mother was busy as ever with her job in Las Vegas. 

In time, the wine and food were consumed and though Oliver could have happily stayed and talked the night away with her, he knew it was probably time for him to leave. After clearing and washing the dishes (he’d insisted, over her protests), however, Felicity surprised him. 

“Oliver?” 

“Felicity?” 

He spun to face her slowly, a dish towel in his hands as he dried off after the last dish was put away. She stood hesitantly in the kitchen entryway, looking at him anxiously. 

“Recognizing that you have already gone far above and beyond tonight… Could I ask you for one more thing?” 

“Anything,” he responded in a heartbeat, taking inordinate joy in the way his response lit up her features. 

“W-Would you spend the night with me? Not ‘with me’ with me but here, in my place? So that I’m not alone? Would you stay the night _here? On_ the couch? I-I just… I don’t want to be alone tonight. I’m still pretty freaked out and I just would really like to go to sleep knowing that… that you’re here. But that’s too much, you certainly don’t have to, I won’t be upset if you-”

“-Yes,” Oliver stated simply, watching in amusement as Felicity continued her rambling for a moment until his words caught up with her.

“I-I’m sorry did you say ‘yes’? As in ‘yes yes’? As in you’ll stay the night here? With me?”

“Yes, Felicity. I will stay the night here on your couch.” 

“Oh _thank you,_ Oliver!” Felicity gasped in a rush before she crossed the small kitchen and threw her arms around him in a warm hug. He slowly brought his arms to encircle her in return and despite himself, Oliver buried his face in her hair and breathed her in, if just for a moment. 

“ _Thank you,_ ” she whispered against him once more and he smiled. 

“Don’t mention it.” 

When they broke apart, she was wearing a sheepish smile and then she departed, hurriedly digging up blankets from her hallway closet and extra pillows too. It wasn’t until she disappeared into the bathroom to get ready for bed that the reality of the situation hit Oliver.

He was spending the night. At Felicity’s place. 

Of all the many, _many_ ways he had envisioned spending a night with her, this had not cracked the list. Suddenly unsure of himself in her absence, he shrugged out of the gray henley he’d been wearing, leaving his white undershirt on. He folded his shirt and set it primly on the arm of the couch, where it was soon joined by his belt. It was at that point that Oliver stalled out; taking off his slacks seemed presumptuous, even though he was wearing boxers underneath. But if he left his dress pants on, would that make it obvious that he was feeling uncomfortable? 

God he was overthinking this. Never in all his life had he been so hyper aware of what clothes he was or wasn’t wearing while staying the night at a woman’s place. Granted, in every other situation, his sleepovers had been most decidedly romantic while this one, he was hellbent on keeping platonic. It changed the name of things and he was most assuredly off his game because of it. And thinking it through round and round in circles like this? It was giving him a headache. With a sigh, Oliver sat down and stared at his hands, unsure how to proceed.

He was still debating what to do with himself when Felicity emerged from the bathroom a minute later, a toothbrush sticking out from the corner of her mouth. She flashed him a toothpaste coated smile and padded over to the couch, plopping down beside him joyously. 

“Is that what you’re wearing to bed?” Felicity queried and he glanced over his shoulder at her and _damn her._ He couldn’t resist smiling at the sight of her, foamy mouth and all, as she brushed her teeth with sparkling eyes. The clean, minty tang of her toothpaste clung to her and mingled with the smell of her shampoo - something mild and floral that he couldn’t quite place but found himself intoxicated by. Rose? Sweet pea? He had no goddamn clue but whatever it was, it was his new favorite scent. 

“Well I didn’t exactly come prepared for a sleepover,” he confessed and her countenance grew more serious as she considered this. 

“Oliver Queen, are you telling me you’re commando under those slacks?” Felicity deadpanned and he snorted at her and shook his head as he looked to the ceiling. 

“No, that is not what I meant _at all,_ Smoak.” 

“Hey, it was a valid question. A girl’s gotta ask.” 

“I’m sorry, was that your indirect way of asking me if I’m a boxers or briefs kind of man?” 

“I was your EA, Oliver. It’s cute that you think I don’t know these things already,” Felicity remarked with a wink and he felt his mouth fall open at the insinuation even as she rose and darted back into the bathroom. 

“Excuse me,” he called at her retreating figure, “but I don’t recall us ever having that discussion!” 

“We didn’t,” she called out, her voice vaguely echo-y from within the tiled bathroom, “but I have caught enough glimpses of you changing in and out of your suit - I mean your _nighttime_ suit - to know that historically, you are a boxers man. So if you’re afraid of offending my delicate sensibilities, don’t be.” 

“I’m scandalized.” 

“I know, the audacity of me to have eyes and a brain,” Felicity remarked teasingly, sticking her head out of the bathroom to quirk a brow at him playfully before she retreated with a laugh and the sound of the sink running obscured her voice a little. “Make yourself comfortable, Oliver. It’s the least I can do. And for the record, I think there’s a spare toothbrush in here somewhere from my last dentist visit. It’s all yours.” 

“A complimentary toothbrush? Hotel Smoak is getting a five star review from me tonight,” Oliver bantered back before his features settled into a relaxed smile. “Thank you, Felicity.” As he watched, she emerged from the bathroom and her features softened, a little of her playful sparkle replaced with the soft glow of gratitude. With a deft flick of her hand, she snuffed out the bathroom light and walked slowly toward where he was still seated on the couch. Wordlessly, she sat down gingerly beside him, patently avoiding his gaze as she did so. 

“No, thank _you,_ Oliver. This… It means a lot to me, as silly as it may be. I’m about to turn twenty five years old and I’m still afraid of things that go bump in the night,” she mocked herself, pressing a hand to her face as she rolled her eyes at herself. “It’s ridiculous. But this? … It helps. So… Thank you. Truly.”

Unthinkingly, he reached forward and tenderly lifted her chin up so that she was looking him in the eye. 

“Felicity, I meant it when I said I’d do anything - if it’s you asking, I’ll do it.” 

The not so subtle flush of heat rising in her neck and cheeks told him he might have overstepped; and as he processed the intimate way he’d reached for her face and turned her eyes to him? Well, Oliver was suddenly self conscious too. His hand fell away from her face and he cleared his throat. In the same breath, Felicity rose from the couch and smoothed her pajama bottoms as she scooted towards the hallway, one hand rubbing at the back of her neck. 

“Well umm, thanks! And ahh, I’ll try not to abuse that power. Wouldn’t want it going to my head.” 

She paused in the hallway and glanced back at him. Oliver got the distinct impression that something was on her mind. Just as quickly though, she seemed to shake off whatever thought was hanging over her. 

“Umm… Goodnight, Oliver.” 

“Goodnight, Felicity.” 

With a shy smile, she turned and disappeared down the hall. He heard the soft creak of her bedroom door opening and the whispered _click_ of it shutting behind her. Once he had craned his neck to peer down the hallway and confirm that her door was indeed closed, Oliver quickly shed his pants and folded them before adding them to the pile of his clothes on the couch. A quick perusal of the bathroom revealed that Felicity had left out the aforementioned toothbrush, still pristine in its plastic wrap.

In short order, he had readied himself as best he could and he reclined onto the couch, surprising himself at how sleepy he already felt. Ever since his time on the island, he’d found it hard to adjust to sleeping in new places. There were too many sights and sounds and smells to acclimate to and he always seemed to toss and turn. But here tonight? His lids felt heavy and the usual tension and anxiety was nowhere to be found as he settled against the multitude of pillows she’d produced for him.

For some reason, being here didn’t feel foreign and alarming. It felt… It felt like coming _home._ But that was a thought he couldn’t touch with a twelve foot pole so instead he sidestepped it and gave himself over to sleep. 

\-----

Terror. 

He awoke engulfed in it, a terror so cold and intense that it burned through him in an instant, leaving every nerve ending smarting. Oliver found himself lurching up into a sitting position, his chest heaving with ragged breaths and his limbs flailing instinctively. His mind struggled to catch up to his body as his heart thundered and he felt completely lost and afraid for a few long seconds as his primal self warred with the logical, civilized part of him still waking up.

Then he heard a sound that made his blood curdle.

Felicity _screamed_. 

He was off the couch and down the hall in a shower of blankets and pillows in the span of half a heartbeat. Driven by protective instincts and fear, he threw the door open and lumbered inside but instead of finding some tangible threat he could defeat, there was nothing. Nothing except Felicity, writhing in her bed, all tangled up in the sheets. She was crying now and murmuring mostly unintelligibly. He caught snatches of words here or there, enough to begin to piece together the scenario.

She was having a nightmare. And judging from her reaction? A pretty horrible nightmare at that. 

“No, no, no,” she whined and as Oliver watched, one of her hands stretched out, her fingers reaching out across the empty expanse of bed. Her hand began to blur as her powers kicked in and her hand moved so fast that it was nearly invisible to the naked eye. Oliver felt torn as he warred between waking her and letting her sleep. 

If he woke her, she might be mortified to find he had barged into her room and as she slept. That could be crossing a line she might not want crossed. But if he didn’t wake her? Well, she sounded obviously distressed. Who knew what she was enduring right now? And who knew what powers she might tap into because of that distress? If she used her powers in her sleep and caused damage to the room or in any way hurt him, he knew she’d be irate with herself.

“Oliver!” Felicity whimpered in her sleep and at that moment his uncertainty crumbled away. His hands fell gently upon her arms and as carefully but firmly as he could, Oliver shook her awake.

“Felicity?! Hey, ssh, easy there. Felicity, it’s me. It’s Oliver. Hey, you’re okay, it’s alright,” he soothed as he tried to wake her gently. Despite his efforts she still floundered as she came to, her arms pinwheeling a bit as she gasped in shock.

“O-Oliver?” Felicity panted, looking at him in wide eyed terror. Suddenly, she was reaching out for him and grabbing on to him tightly, her breathing still uneven as she clutched at him. “Y-You’re really here? You’re alright?” 

“I’m here. I’m fine. You had a nightmare and you started tapping into your powers, that’s all,” he sought to comfort her and as he watched she nodded and bowed her head as she fought off tears. 

“I-It was so _real_. You… you were there. So were Sara, Barry, and others I didn’t recognize… You were hurt and… Oliver, you _died_!” Tears spilled down her cheeks hot and fast, leaving Oliver to look about helplessly for tissues. Lacking any, he shrugged out of his undershirt and wadded it up in his hand before he gently daubed at her face with it while he made soft, soothing noises to her.

Felicity leaned into him, gasping softly even as her entire body seemed to shudder as she fought to control her raging emotions. Oliver couldn’t help but be at least _slightly_ selfishly pleased to see her so distressed - she didn’t want him to die. That was good, right? Surely she wouldn’t be as upset as this over a dream that involved a mere acquaintance’s death now, would she? 

It was hardly proof positive that she felt the same way for him as he did for her, as the little, doubtful voice in his head was quick to remind him. But Oliver remained weirdly bolstered by Felicity’s reaction to the mere idea of his death. 

“It was a nightmare, Felicity. It’s okay, it wasn’t real. You’re awake now. I’m here. I’m not dead. More importantly, _you’re safe_ ,” he muttered in her ear as one of his hands came up to stroke the side of her face and brush the hair away from her eyes. “You’re safe. No one and nothing will hurt you as long as I’m here. You have my word,” he promised her. 

She held fast to him for what felt like a long while until finally, her fatigue slowly began to drag her back towards sleep. Bit by bit, Felicity sunk lower against her pillows. Her breathing took a while to slow but eventually, Felicity began to grow calm in his embrace. He could feel as her body ceased trembling and soon her breathing quieted to a rhythmic background noise. She was still fighting sleep but he could tell - sleep was starting to win.

As he peered down at her, her eyes closed and she seemed to drift off right in front of his very eyes. Carefully, Oliver began to extricate himself from her embrace but even as he moved to rise off of the bed, her hand suddenly enclosed upon his upper arm, stopping him in an instant. 

“Oliver?” 

“Felicity?” 

“Please… Don’t go. Stay? I just… I don’t want to be alone and… I would really like it if you stayed here with me tonight. I-...I’m afraid to be alone.” 

Oliver swallowed thickly as he looked down at her again and this time found a pair of blue gray eyes staring back at him pleadingly. He could no sooner resist her than he could have commanded his heart to stop beating. With a wordless nod, Oliver found himself sitting back down on the mattress. At the same time, Felicity scooted over on the bed, making room for him in the space she had just vacated. 

He lay down next to her and when she was still and comfortable, he made himself cozy beside her. Instinctively, she curled up against him and he found himself bringing an arm around her to hold her close. As he did so, he heard her sigh softly, a light and fluttering little sound that made his stomach do flips and his heart stutter.

“Thank you, Oliver,” her voice was a merry little hum and before he could respond, she rolled over in his embrace to face him, her blue eyes blinking at him sleepily a few times before she smiled and laid her head on his chest. Her entire body snuggled up against his and he could smell her, the soft floral _something_ that still hung around her from her earlier shower, the clean smell of her fresh bed linens, and the faint sweet yet sour smell of sweat, no doubt a byproduct of her recent nightmares. 

She smelled incredible, truthfully. And it took all his self control not to nuzzle his face in the crook of her neck. But that was dangerous territory to let his mind wander down and he quickly reeled himself back. Friends. They had to remain just friends. No matter how he felt, the important thing - the _most_ important thing - was being a pillar of support for Felicity. She needed him and he was here, would always be here. He could not give her any reason to question or fear otherwise. 

But friends or no, Oliver’s feelings towards Felicity were solidifying by the moment. Not that they had been in doubt before. Never had he been so eager to hold a woman in his arms, or so willing to lie in her bed with her, all the while knowing it would lead nowhere. Being close to her, being of comfort to her? That was enough. Did he want more? 

Without question.

But he would gladly take this. The opportunity to be there for her, to be the pair of warm, strong arms that held her in her dark hours. That was not nothing. In fact, it was _everything._ Even still, he could not resist allowing himself one small, simple gesture of tender affection. He was a man after all, not a machine. Tentatively, Oliver pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head, his voice a gentle growl.

“Get some sleep, Felicity. I promise, I’ll stay here all night. I won’t leave you. When the morning comes… I’ll still be right here.” 

\-----

Low, booming thunder rolled across Central City as a lone figure lingered outside the fenced off remains of STAR Labs. A pair of eyes glinted from beneath the shelter of a red hoodie before the slender figure moved forward, scrambling over the fence without concern. A pair of scuffed Converse landed on the other side of the fence and with a grunt, the individual stood and shook themselves off before moving confidently towards the entrance to the darkened building. 

With sure strides, the individual snuck through a back entrance, the door of which swung uselessly on damaged hinges. Even now, three quarters of a year post particle accelerator explosion, the building had still yet to be put to rights. Taking advantage of this, the shadowy figure slipped inside without hesitation, expertly navigating the destroyed halls before slowly maneuvering deeper into the building, to the areas that had not been badly damaged in the explosion. 

A far off voice echoed through the halls and as the figure stole nearer, the voice came into crisper focus. A few more hallways brought the speaker into view: with dark, short hair and glasses, Harrison Wells cut a recognizable figure as he sat at his desk, talking into a recording device as he worked on some project or another. 

The lone figure inched closer, studying the man intently - so intently, in fact, that a misstep sent the intruder pitching forward unsteadily. At the last moment, the individual managed to catch themselves - albeit too late to avoid detection. When the intruder looked up once more, Harrison Wells had turned to face the interloper, with dark, narrowed eyes. 

“Who are you and what do you want?” Wells asked pointedly, his expression tense. The lone figure fumbled for a moment and then, slowly, drew back the hood hiding them. 

“I think we both know the answers to those questions,” Barry Allen muttered, lifting his chin as he stared down the man who had once been his mentor - and his nemesis - with cold indifference. 

Felicity had refused to help him. So it was time to seek assistance elsewhere. 


	9. Chapter 9

Warmth. 

Felicity felt it, from the roots of her hair to the tips of her toes; it seemed to course through her as she tensed, a coiled spring ready to be released. She cleared her mind as the energy built up within and around her, Oliver’s voice ringing in her ears. 

_ Find your center.  _

The warmth flowed through her like a river of energy and she relaxed into it, allowing the coiled tension within her muscles to spring free. The world seemed to disappear around her and there was just the sound of her own heart and her own breathing, and the mental image she kept fixed firmly in her mind’s eye. 

And then, just as quickly as it had begun, it all stopped; the warmth was gone and the tension evaporated. Looking at the ground beneath her feet, Felicity heaved a relieved sigh as she caught sight of the neon orange ‘X’ spray painted on the loose gravel. With a flick of her wrist, she deftly undid the strap beneath her chin and eagerly removed her helmet. With confident strides, she made her way towards the repaired mobile HQ, where Oliver and Diggle were waiting on her. 

“How was that?” 

“Well, you just broke your previous personal record for your mile time and your stop this attempt looked like a completely controlled slide in these stills from the slow motion cameras,” Diggle explained, pointing to the screens in question for emphasis. As Felicity came under the tent to join the men, she saw the images of herself emblazoned on the computers, in the midst of the very slide that had brought her safely to a stop in front of the very tent they now stood under. 

“You’re really getting the hang of this, Felicity,” Diggle encouraged her with a smile that she echoed as her eyes turned from the screens to Diggle, and then to the silent observer of the party. 

“Did you umm… have anything to add? Any suggestions or comments?” Felicity asked him hesitantly. Oliver stood in front of the monitors with his arms crossed in front of himself, looking every bit the moody, broody, serious vigilante. This look was further aided by the fact that he was half dressed in his Arrow leathers at Felicity’s insistence.

If she lost control again, the jacket might at least provide him a little added protection. Diggle too had donned his black leather jacket, also at Felicity’s request. 

“You haven’t had a slip up with your powers in weeks. You keep getting faster and faster. You asked if I had anything to add but… I don’t. The fact of the matter is… You’ve done it, Felicity. You found your center. You’ve figured out how to control these powers," Oliver remarked with a small smile.  Felicity beamed beneath Oliver’s praise, even as her cheeks flushed and she tried to bite the inside of her lip to quell her joy. 

For weeks now Oliver had been… different. He was more attentive, communicative, and honest than she had ever known him to be. He was hardly perfect but… for the first time since she’d known him? Felicity thought Oliver seemed…  _ hopeful.  _ There was a lightness to him and a quietude that she had found briefly unsettling until she realized that this? This was what Oliver looked like  _ happy.  _ For the time that she’d known him, she’d truthfully never seen him really and truly  _ happy _ or at peace.  But apparently his brooding moroseness could and did transform to thoughtful stoicism when cast beneath the bright lights of joy.

_ Why  _ he was suddenly so chipper was another question entirely and one which Felicity didn’t know the answer to. 

Together, the trio packed up the mobile headquarters, done testing Felicity and her powers for the day; halfway through, Diggle received a call from Lyla, asking him to pick up strawberry frosted pop tarts and veggie burgers on his way home - her pregnancy cravings were in full swing and Diggle had little choice but to comply. Felicity and Oliver happily handled the rest of the breakdown of equipment. Felicity did some quick on the fly analysis of her last few runs and then the pair hopped into the van.

Oliver kept his eyes trained on the road in front of them as they made their way back to Starling but it did not escape Felicity’s attention that he kept shifting his weight, as though antsy about something. After half a dozen or so instances of him having to fuss with his seatbelt and his posture, Felicity couldn’t resist teasing him.

“What’s going on over there? Have you got ants in your pants or something?” 

“What?!” Oliver responded, his eyes snapping from the road to her face in surprise. 

“You heard me! As my mother would  _ so eloquently  _ say, you’re fidgeting like a sinner in synagogue. Because you know… there’s the whole ‘sinner in church’ saying but...we’re Jewish so… Synagogue…” she trailed off mid ramble, shaking her head as she cleared her throat. “Anyway, you’re antsy. What’s the deal?” 

“Can’t I just be having a hard time getting comfortable?” 

“Oliver Queen, you spent five years on a hellish island and you managed to sleep in absurdly terrible conditions; I’m pretty sure you can make almost anything comfy. So whatever this is? It’s not a matter of you being unable to find a cozy spot. Is it?” 

His mouth closed so fast she heard the faint  _ click  _ of his teeth but otherwise, Oliver gave her no reaction at first. They’d traveled she wasn’t even sure how much farther down the road before he heaved a sigh. 

“Okay, you’re right. It’s not that I can’t get comfortable.” 

“Color me shocked,” Felicity interjected with a smile, leaning towards him as he turned to meet her gaze with a frown that his heart wasn’t in. She just kept grinning at him before she reached out and tapped his shoulder with her finger. “It may pain you to know this but I actually think I’ve gotten reasonably good at reading you, Oliver. I’m not saying you have to tell me what’s wrong. Just… don’t feel like you need to feed me some line.” 

“Fair enough,” he responded with a nod of his head. Silence fell between them once more and Felicity settled back against her seat, accepting that whatever had him out of sorts, he wasn’t in the mood for discussing. But just when she thought all chances of conversation had been lost, he surprised her. 

“You’ve gotten really good at harnessing your powers, Felicity. Your improvement recently has been nothing short of remarkable.” 

Huh. Interesting choice of topic. But she went with it. 

“Thank you. I couldn’t have done it without you and Digg though,” she reminded him, keen on sharing the credit for her improvement. In answer, Oliver shook his head, a faint smile playing at the corners of his lips. 

“Sure you could have. You’re a genius, Felicity. You’d have found a way. All we did was stand by you while you figured things out.” 

“Risking life and limb in the process,” she pointed out and Oliver chuckled. 

“You make it sound so dramatic-”

“You having to get cardiopulmonary resuscitation because you took a lightning bolt to the chest felt pretty dramatic at the time. You weren’t conscious, so you wouldn’t know but it was actually quite terrifying and I’m still not over it. So yes, I’d say you were quite literally risking your life every time you chose to stand here and support me while I figured out what I was doing.” 

“Touche,” Oliver conceded, his eyes staring out into the darkening night as the van barreled ever closer to Starling. “Can I ask you something?” 

“Oliver, I know your secret leather wearing alter ego and you know that I have superhuman powers and dye my hair. I think we’re at a point where there’s no such thing as too personal a question,” Felicity teased, though Oliver did not share in her soft laughter. 

“Do you remember when I told you to try and find your center?” 

“Vividly,” Felicity responded without hesitation, prompting Oliver to peel his eyes off the road and look at her with a raised brow. 

“Can I ask what your ‘center’ is when you’re out there, running?” 

Of all the things she had expected him to ask her about, this had not been among them. Her eyes and nostrils flared in shock and she felt her heart begin to race - and not in a good way. In a ‘her powers were about to start doing things she couldn’t control’ kind of way. Already she felt the static energy beneath her scalp, buzzing through her brain. Fighting to quell it, Felicity did her level best to clear her mind and to go to the very center that Oliver had just asked her about. 

She could discuss this with him. It would be fine. She just could absolutely, under no circumstances, allow herself to get into trouble in one of her classic, Felicity-esque rambles. No biggie, right? 

“It’s warm and not just from my powers - it’s like I’m… wrapped up in warmth. Cocooned in it,” Felicity began in a quiet voice as her heart still hammered within her chest, entirely too fast to be safe. “I’m safe. I’m loved. Supported. Believed in. And... I’m known, if that makes sense? Not in like, a famous celebrity kind of way but in like an…’understood and appreciated’ kind of way...” she trailed off, her eyes snapping closed as she focused on the ‘center’ that was responsible for her sudden ability to control her powers. 

_ Waking up slowly on a quiet Sunday morning to find his arms around her, holding her flush against him. Her face resting against his bare chest. The faint whiff of leather that clung to him, even out of the Arrow suit, combined with the notes of pasta sauce from his cooking adventures the night before and a hint of musty sweat. The feel of his breath dancing across her skin as he slept. The sound of his heart beneath her ear, a steady refrain that settled her like nothing else could. The feeling of being completely and utterly safe and at peace with him beside her, holding her close. Realizing that never, in all her life, had she felt this calm and this content.  _

What was her center? That. Him.  _ Them.  _ All of it. The memory of waking up with him that morning just a few weeks prior was everything. It was safety. It was security. It was happiness. And it grounded her as nothing else had, not even her other happy memories with Oliver could compare with that morning. 

How had she gotten so good so fast? In short, because of  _ him _ . 

But she couldn’t very well tell  _ Oliver  _ that. What better way to send a man running for the hills than to inform him that his very platonic relationship with her was the thing that fueled her dreams and gave her the courage to face each new day with her powers. So no, she wasn’t being  _ entirely  _ honest with him, which she did feel badly about. But she was going to be as honest as she could be without letting on the exact nature of what had centered her these last few weeks. 

She opened her eyes and looked over at him, only to find him studying her with a wistful look on his face.  _ Stop it,  _ she chastised herself.  _ Now that was just wishful thinking. He was not looking at her wistfully, he was just looking at her. Wist-lessly… Was that a word? It totally wasn’t. Now she was just making up words like a fricking lunatic. _

“I’m not alone. That… That’s my center,” Felicity finished lamely with a tiny little shrug and a small smile. He continued to watch her for several long moments and then he nodded and his eyes slid back to the road before them. 

\-----

_ I’m not alone.  _

It was hardly a smoking gun but somehow the words landed like a kick to the chest for Oliver and it was all he could do to keep guiding the van along the empty roadways. He’d suspected (scratch that,  _ hoped _ was the more appropriate word) that maybe,  _ possibly  _ a change had begun to take place between himself and Felicity. 

But perhaps that was just wishful thinking. 

Since he’d spent the night at her place and held her in his arms after her nightmare, Oliver had endeavored to keep things between them strictly platonic. But as Felicity had grown more and more chipper and the ease between them had grown more and more natural, it had become increasingly difficult to remind himself that they were friends only.  _ That  _ was why their arrangement was going so well - he was committed to staying her friend and to helping her master her powers. And it was working.

He couldn’t upend that cart. And yet…

She seemed so happy - more so than usual, even by Felicity’s standard - and she’d become so confident in her workouts and training sessions that he knew  _ something  _ had changed for her since that night. He had just been afraid to ask what that ‘something’ was. What if he was wrong? What if he was getting his hopes up for nothing? 

And her answer just now?  _ I’m not alone _ . That gave him every reason to believe that his steadfast friendship was what might have helped her. That his unswerving devotion and platonic support was aiding her in a way that he never could have hoped to help her if he had confessed his romantic feelings for her. 

He recalled the joyous hours he’d spent at her place, cooking for her and later, holding her as she slept. He’d been utterly engrossed in holding her and he hadn’t wanted the moment to end and now? Now he longed to go back to that night and relive it, unable to help but wonder if he had missed some subtle sign from her that she felt for him as he did for her. Was it at all possible that  _ he  _ was the reason she was feeling safe and loved, supported and believed in? Could the friendship they shared started to become something more? Was there any hope for friendship to give way to romance?

He didn’t dare to hope it. But if not him, then who? He couldn’t begrudge Felicity her happiness, even if she found it with someone else. He just didn’t know what the truth was. And it was the not knowing that was driving him mad. Or, so he told himself. But asking for the truth would be to risk ruining whatever happy medium they had fallen into.

He cleared his throat and focused on the road, trying to ignore the ache in his chest. Whatever she needed, he had sworn to be. She needed a friend and that was what he was going to be, damn it. If he couldn’t love her the way he wanted to, he was going to love her the best way she would let him. He’d be the best damn friend she could possibly ask for.

God, he wasn't making any sense. His mind was a mess.

What it boiled down to was... now that she  _ had  _ learned to control her powers, Felicity was in a less vulnerable state than she had been those weeks ago when she had broken down in front of him. Back when finding a new ‘normal’ had seemed so impossible to her and she had been so afraid. Oliver had wanted to be honest with her then and he had set his feelings aside in favor of prioritizing her wellbeing. But now she was no fragile china doll. He  _ wanted  _ to come clean, to tell her the truth. After all, if he couldn’t be honest with her now, when she seemed to have picked up the pieces, he’d never be able to be honest with her. 

“Felicity… I’m really glad you’ve found that center. And I’m glad that now, with your powers under control, you can resume your life,” he elaborated and he felt rather than saw her look at him from the passenger seat. Taking a deep breath, he changed tactics. “What do you say we stop for dinner somewhere? Together. Just the two of us. Big Belly Burger sound good or should we do something else?” 

He glanced over at her in time to catch her wiping a shocked expression off her face. It happened quickly but for a moment, he would have sworn she almost looked excited. As quickly as the bright flicker of excitement had appeared though, it vanished and he couldn’t really be sure that it had ever been there at all. 

“Yeah, sure. Big Belly Burger that ah… That sounds great. You know me… I’m always good for triple ‘B’,” she rambled and as he split his focus between the road and her, he saw her fumble with her seatbelt. “I’m just umm, going to go check something on one of the monitors real quick, excuse me.”

\-----

_ Just the two of us.  _

Felicity felt as though all the oxygen had been sucked out of the van as those words left Oliver’s lips and it was all she could do to keep herself from babbling herself into a mortified corner. She gave him some weak excuse about checking the monitors in the back of the van but in reality, she needed an escape to give herself the space to breathe and to think without him seeing. 

She wasn’t stupid. She knew Oliver didn’t see her  _ that  _ way. He had dated the likes of Gorgeous Laurel and Helena Bertinelli and had slept with women like  _ Isabel might-as-well-be-a-model freaking Rochev _ . Felicity was self aware enough to know that her possession of a spine, standards, and intellect made her an intimidating woman to weak men. But Oliver wasn’t weak - quite the contrary. It wasn’t that she’d harbored any realistic hopes of them ever getting together. But hearing him ask her to dinner?  _ Just the two of them _ ? It made her hopes soar to illogical highs that maybe,  _ just maybe _ , she and Oliver were finally going to stop tip toeing around each other. 

What a foolish, girlish dream. If Oliver had been interested in her, he would have said something long ago. He didn't see her that way. She needed to get over this. 

Yes, they’d technically slept in the same bed together. But she wasn’t stupid enough to think it had meant to Oliver what it had to her. She cared about him. Deeply. In the two years she’d known Oliver Felicity had come to see another side of him. And she’d seen him grow from the insolent, moody, lone wolf she’d first met into a more compassionate, reasonable, cooperative man. And that man? 

Well… she loved him. 

Sure, they were teammates. And a relationship between the two of them could interfere with how they chose to spend their nights. Logically, she knew that. And then there was the small matter of him still technically being her boss to consider - that muddied the waters too. But for all the reasons why they shouldn’t work or make sense, Felicity knew deep down that part of her? Part of her would always be  _ in love  _ with Oliver Queen.

She just needed to accept that no part of  _ him  _ was in love with  _ her _ . 

“Felicity? We’re here.”

A rustling from the front seat preceded him pushing his way to the back of the van as he flashed her a bright smile and she forced one of her own, though her heart wasn’t in it. Dinner with her friend. She could do that. Better to have dinner with her friend than to have nothing with him at all, right? Right. She could lick her wounds later, when she was home alone. He certainly hadn’t meant to imply any sort of date-like quality about this meal. They were just friends, grabbing a bite together. Nothing more. Totally platonic. One hundred percent. 

“Double double, here we come!” Felicity murmured a little breathlessly as she leapt to her feet and made for the back door of the van. She didn’t wait for Oliver before she pushed the door open and hopped out onto the asphalt of the parking lot. He followed soon after and though he shot her a questioning look, she just pulled up the collar of her faux leather moto jacket and strode for the entrance to the Big Belly Burger. 

They ordered without conversation and despite Oliver’s protests, Felicity paid, reminding him that she was the one who owed him for his generosity in paying her rent for a year during the whole coma fiasco. He wasn’t happy about it but seeing as he was well and truly broke? He didn’t have much in the way of options. 

“I have  _ some  _ money set aside, you know,” Oliver reminded her as he pulled out a chair for her at one of the little plasticized tables in the dining area. Felicity raised a brow at him and chortled as she sat down in the proffered seat. 

“Mhmm. Well, someday hopefully very soon when you get QC back, how about this? You can thank me by buying me a new desk chair - if I’m being honest, my old one was more for aesthetics than for function. It was a little lacking in the lumbar support,” she added as an afterthought, frowning as she recalled the chair in question. Oliver chuckled and shook his head as he studied her. 

“Well while we’re on the subject of being honest… I wanted to tell you something,” Oliver began and Felicity sensed the shift in tone and the change in his body language. He was…  _ tense.  _

Frak.

\-----

He really had been determined not to tell her. He didn’t want to risk changing anything between them. But somehow, her comment earlier in the car had undone his resolve entirely. Felicity had gained control of her powers. She felt safe. She felt supported. And she didn’t feel alone. All the justifications (see: excuses) he’d made for not telling her the truth of his feelings suddenly felt null and void. Even if he was wrong, even if she didn’t feel for him as he did for her? It was important to him that he tell her the truth of his feelings, knowing that now, he would not be putting her at risk in doing so. 

He loved her. He was  _ in love  _ with her. She was no longer dangling on the precipice of oblivion. She was firmly in command of herself and her speedster powers and Oliver knew he would never be able to live with himself if he didn’t come clean to her. It was a novel sentiment - Oliver couldn’t recall ever having much of a burning desire to share a hard truth with someone before. He’d been more of a ‘sweep it under the rug’ kind of guy. But that was before. And this? 

This was Felicity. Honesty was the only policy. 

“Felicity,” he began, feeling his muscles bunching as the tension in his body ratcheted up to new levels. Confessions of love weren’t exactly something Oliver did on a daily basis. Before he could get out another word, however, they were interrupted by the arrival of their food. Oliver fell silent as the Big Belly Burger employee smilingly doled out their meal and after a quiet word of thanks, Oliver cleared his throat and refocused on her. 

Though she had smiled cheerily at the employee that had brought out their food, Felicity fixed him now with an expression equal parts resigned and worried.  _ Shit.  _ Did she know what was coming? Had he been so obvious? And here he’d thought he’d been hiding his feelings passably well.  _ Fuck.  _

“Felicity, we’ve been through a lot, the two of us. Especially in the last year,” Oliver began slowly as he avoided eye contact with her by instead, focusing on unwrapping his burger. “And I’d like to think we’ve grown closer. Especially recently. So… I want to be honest with you. I think I owe you at least that much,” Oliver explained in a long winded ramble. Already, he could feel the heat rising in his cheeks. God, he had no poker face where she was concerned. Where was the debonair Oliver Queen that had known how to work a room and woo a stranger in five minutes or less? 

No. Wait. He was glad he wasn’t  _ that  _ Oliver Queen. That Oliver Queen had been an ass. But a little bit of his old debonair self would have done wonders here and now, given that Oliver felt so nervous he was on the verge of vomiting. 

“Felicity, I know you… have been through a huge ordeal. And I know how hard it has been on you. But these last few weeks, you’ve really taken control of your situation, it seems like. The control you were afraid you'd never have? You've found it. Which is why I feel comfortable telling you this now. And I know that I don’t exactly have the best track record with these things-"

"Oliver you're not making any sense," Felicity interjected softly, her eyes trained on his as he swallowed thickly, trying to organize his thoughts but feeling for all the world as though he were herding cats. 

"Felicity, I know your center is that you aren’t alone - and maybe that means you’ve found someone or maybe it means something else entirely. Either way, I don’t want to overstep or cross a line but I need to-” he began, only to be interrupted by Felicity choking rather violently on the sip of soda she had just taken. Wide eyed and spluttering, she waved off his concerns as she hacked. This went on for half a minute and when she was finally done, she sat before him wheezing and pale but otherwise no worse for wear (mostly). 

“I-I’m sorry, Oliver did you say maybe I’ve found some-” Felicity began, only for a shrill chirping that Oliver recognized as her automated alert system, to cut her off. Her eyes fluttered closed and she exhaled forcefully before she snaked a hand to her jacket pocket, from which she retrieved her phone. 

“What is it?” Oliver asked expectantly and Felicity’s gaze flicked to him nervously. 

“Armed robbery in progress over at Kord Industries,” she muttered, seeming almost annoyed, “-But Oliver-”

“We have to go,” Oliver grunted, hastily rewrapping his burger as he rose from the table, looking at Felicity anxiously even as she seemed to linger reluctantly.  _ Fuck.  _ Of course they’d gotten interrupted. That just about figured. He would resume this conversation later though - he wasn’t going to rest easy until he told her the truth.

He loved her. 

The more he thought the words in his own head, the more he yearned to say them aloud to her. But there would be time for that later - right now they had a job to do. They gathered their meals, though Felicity did so stiffly, and hurried back out to the van. As soon as they were safely ensconced inside of it, Oliver had them peeling out of the parking lot. 

“I should have brought the entire damn suit, not just the jacket. Now here we are, stuck in traffic halfway across town from the Foundry.  _ Stupid! _ What was I thinking?!” Oliver growled, chastising himself as he pushed the van to its limits weaving through the city traffic. In reality, he wasn’t mad about not having brought the suit. He was mad about getting interrupted. Mad that he couldn’t have just  _ one  _ normal goddamn moment to tell the woman that he loved the truth about his feelings. If he had needed a reminder of how unsuitable a partner he would have made for her though, this whole debacle had reminded him with all the subtlety of a swift kick to the head. It was as if the universe itself had intervened to stop him from spilling his guts to her and Oliver couldn’t help but feel rather sensitive to that. 

For a full minute as the van blew through the Glades and barreled towards Verdant, Oliver contemplated just how ill an omen it might be to have a love confession interrupted by threats of violence breaking out on the other side of town. Sure, it wasn’t exactly an  _ encouraging  _ development, being interrupted thusly. But at the same time… He wasn’t quite superstitious enough to forgo telling her just because it hadn’t gone quite as he’d hoped. 

He’d tell her. Later. After they’d handled this armed robbery.

\-----

Felicity felt numb the whole way from Big Belly Burger to the Foundry. So much so that she’d actually tripped on the stairs on her way to her workstation and only Oliver’s quick reflexes had saved her. The feel of his hand on her arm as he’d caught her had been enough to make her flush scarlet and render her incapable of speech. Instead, she’d made a garbled, unintelligible noise and practically run to her work station. The interrupted conversation with Oliver replayed over and over in her brain but repeating it did not shed any additional light on what Oliver was getting at or why he had phrased things the way that he had. 

Where had he gotten the notion that she had found someone? What was he referring to? Did he mean she already had friends? Family? Coworkers?  _ A boyfriend?! _ Where the ever loving frak had the idea come from? She spent all her free time with  _ him  _ for frak’s sake - where and when the heck was she supposed to have found a boyfriend without him knowing?!

Oliver's words rolled and rattled around in her head without any answers to her many,  _ many  _ questions. She would have brought the subject up again to clarify what the  _ frak  _ Oliver was talking about but she could tell just by looking at him that he was already deep into his ‘Arrow’ headspace as he hurried to gather supplies. 

She couldn’t talk to him now. He needed to focus on the mission. Something she herself ought to do. Shaking her head, Felicity tried to banish her ponderings to a distant corner of her mind but even as she attempted to do so, Oliver began to stride towards the exit of the foundry and Felicity found her attempt at focusing instantly disrupted. 

“What do you think you’re doing?!”

Oliver spun on his heel to face her, his expression stormy as he made eye contact with her.  _ Oof. _ Yeah, he was definitely in ‘Arrow’ mode. 

“I am going to the scene of this armed robbery to handle it. What does it look like I’m doing?!” Oliver growled in a low voice that made her heart flutter. It wasn’t quite as low as his voice when he used the modulator to scramble it, but it was pitched low enough that she shivered in response. 

“It looks like you’re running headlong into trouble without backup. Which would be a  _ supremely  _ bad idea, wouldn’t you say so?” Felicity countered, rising up from her seat and striding the few steps to meet him, her arms crossed in front of her chest. Oliver glowered at her and shook his head irritably, exhaling in a soft hiss. 

“Felicity, I survived five years of trouble without much in the way of backup. I think I’ll manage.” 

“You should wait for John,” she resisted and Oliver made a cross little huffing noise. 

“I didn’t call John; he’s at home, taking care of Lyla.” 

“What about Roy?” 

“I don’t know, Felicity. He didn’t answer his phone earlier when I called him. And I can’t wait around for him to show up.” 

“Oliver, we are talking about men with guns robbing a company that makes cutting edge, next gen tech. This is serious.” 

“Which is why it can’t wait,” Oliver grumbled back sharply as he sidestepped her while drawing up his hood. 

“Then I should go with you.” 

The words were spoken half in challenge and she could see the way his whole body went still before he turned slowly to face her, his eyes just visible beneath the shadows his hood cast upon his face. 

“Not a chance.” 

“Oliver, come on I’ll stay in the van but at least then I’ll be on site if something goes wrong-”

“Absolutely not. I need you here, safe.” 

“I don’t want to be safe! I want to be with you, in the field,  _ unsafe _ if that’s what it takes to prevent you from going out there alone!” 

"Felicity you have no mask to hide your identity. You have no suit to protect you physically. Not to mention, at no point have we trained you for field work and there's not a chance I'm letting you step out onto the field without being properly prepared. For god's sake, you don't even have a codename! I'd just be out there shouting your name, revealing your identity to the world!" 

"Better all of that than for you to go at it alone," she countered through gritted teeth, only for him to shake his head at her. 

“I’ll be fine, Felicity. I promise,” he murmured, catching her eye as he pulled on his mask. She shook her head at him in frustration but he just flashed her a smile. “Talk me in?” Oliver questioned gently as he offered her the bluetooth she ordinarily wore to communicate with him while he was in the field. She couldn’t help but roll her eyes at him and sigh as she grudgingly took the device. 

“I always do, you know that,” she shot back as she slipped the bluetooth on over her ear while Oliver (unsuccessfully) bit back a smile. Without another word he turned and began to make his way up the stairs. She heard each footfall ring out through the Foundry as she returned to her chair. With her heart in her throat she called out to him. 

“Oliver?”

The sound of his footfalls went silent and then, a moment later he spoke. “Felicity?” 

She swallowed and warred with herself for a brief moment in time before she decided not to turn towards him. Instead she cleared her throat as she refocused on her computer screens and she took a breath. 

“Just… be careful. Please.” 

She stole a furtive glance at him in her peripheral vision, enough to see him fidgeting with uncertainty before he finally heaved a sigh, nodded, and darted out the door and into the night. 

Guiding him over the comms was easy; she’d done it so many times at this point that it was almost second nature. But something about the present situation felt…  _ off _ . She couldn’t quite put her finger on  _ what  _ felt off - but something definitely  _ was.  _ Though Oliver found his way to Kord Industries without incident, Felicity’s stomach was in knots the entire way. Not even the rugged growl of his modulated ‘Arrow voice’ calmed her when he checked in with her to let her know he’d arrived on site - as if she hadn’t already hacked into security cameras and a government satellite so she could monitor him. 

Still, it was sweet of him to do. But it didn’t calm her nerves any. Not tonight. Not with whatever weirdness was in the air. 

“Oliver, I really think we should rethink this whole ‘you going in solo’ strategy. You’re on site. Why don’t you monitor from afar until I can get Roy headed your way? Or until the SCPD shows up, even?” 

“Felicity, the reports said it was three assailants. I can handle three men with guns in my sleep,” Oliver remarked with a soft huff. 

“You know that and I know that. So who are you trying to impress? Just wait. It’s the smart call, Oliver. Don’t be stupid.” 

“Well, I’m just the brawn, Felicity. And ‘stupid’ is my wheelhouse,” Oliver muttered with a brazen recklessness that was unusual for him (at least these days). As she watched, he moved across the rooftop of the Kord building and let himself in through the roof access door. 

“Oliver!” Felicity hissed angrily as he disappeared from her view. When only silence met her, she exhaled sharply and began to tap frantically at her keyboard as she pulled the satellite and switched to a thermal feed. In moments, the glowing figure of her favorite archer appeared and Felicity relaxed.

It was a short lived breather. 

“I’ve got three unknowns at your eleven o’clock, top floor,” Felicity instructed him tersely, still angry with him for going in but not about to let that interfere with the mission - or more importantly, with keeping Oliver safe. 

“Copy that. Moving to intercept.” 

Felicity reclined back in her chair as her fingers tapped the top of her workstation rhythmically. Oliver was right. If it was just a simple robbery, he would have no issue subduing three men - even well armed ones. But as Felicity’s toe began to tap restlessly, a sick feeling came over her. 

In his mad rush to respond, had Oliver taken the time to case the building? She hadn’t - she’d been too stupidly distracted trying to talk him into waiting. And what’s more? There was no police chatter about this going on. Felicity fussed with the police scanner app she had designed and typically used to eavesdrop and her skin broke out in goosebumps as she realized there was absolutely no chatter about a robbery at Kord Industries.

How was that possible? 

Her blood turned to ice in the blink of an eye and Felicity scrambled to search the area now, however belatedly. The initial indications seemed fine but as she switched to thermal imaging again, something in the heat signatures caught her attention and made her heart nearly stop.

The building was a large, warehouse-esque layout with two stories. The exterior and surrounding area were all clear and presumably safe as was the top floor, minus the three assailants Oliver had been preparing to engage with. But the ground floor was teeming with heat signatures and while some of them certainly seemed to be hostages based on their posture - kneeling with their hands behind their heads - most of them looked to be heat signatures of the gun toting accomplice variety.

And Oliver was going to walk into them blindly.

“Oliver!” Felicity shouted into the comm, more loudly than she had intended. Her heart boomed in her ears as she waited for his response but it wasn’t forthcoming. “No, no no nonono!” Felicity panicked as she looked once more to the thermal imaging on the screen before her. As she went to move the satellite to search for Oliver’s heat signature though, her hand passed through the mouse and with a start, she realized she’d begun to vibrate her hand so fast she was phasing through things. 

_ Frak.  _

“Okay, I can do this. I am just going to touch the keyboard. I can do that,” she assured herself in a faux calm tone as she reached tentatively for the keys, stroking them with her fingers faintly. When she made contact, she felt a flood of relief. And then, the lightbulb in her head went off. Without another moment’s hesitation, Felicity closed her eyes and tried to hurriedly channel the calm center she had been tapping into recently. With her heart racing, adrenaline flowing, and fear singing through her veins, it was a fair measure harder than it had been in more controlled circumstances. But after a few tries, she felt the familiar, trickling warmth of the electricity flooding through her. 

And just like that, she was out of the Foundry and gone in a crackle of purple and pink light. 

\-----

He’d lost contact with Felicity soon after he’d entered the building; the realization had come with much mental swearing at himself for not having done a more thorough sweep of the building’s security measures. Now that he was inside, he could see the jamming devices meant to render transmissions ineffective. It made sense - a company like Kord with high grade, proprietary tech in development would want to prevent anyone from texting or emailing pictures of fledgling projects to competitors. But it also meant he was now alone, about to take on his opponents, and he was doing so effectively blind and deaf without Felicity as his eyes and ears in the sky. It felt like fighting with one of his hands tied - he was so accustomed to having her in his ear. 

That was what she didn’t understand - if Oliver had Felicity, then he  _ did  _ have backup - arguably the very best there was. 

Taking a deep breath, Oliver crept towards the sound of voices at the far end of the building. Drawing his bow up, he had an arrow nocked and ready to fly as he tiptoed closer. A quick peek around the corner showed him two figures, engrossed in conversation as they stood over one of the workstations of the Kord R&D wing and a third nervously pacing behind them, a rifle in his hands. With practiced ease, Oliver let loose a solitary arrow. His aim was true and with a shriek, the rifle toting baddie dropped his weapon and clutched his left wrist, now sporting an arrow through the meat of his left hand. 

“Put your hands up.  _ Now,”  _ Oliver growled, his voice distorted into his classic Arrow brass rumble by the modulator as he stepped out into view, his bow pointed at the trio warningly. They froze and spun to face him slowly, their hands raised over their heads as they stared him down. The injured third clutched his wounded hand to his chest but lamely raised his unharmed hand as requested.

“We wondered when we should expect you. Frankly, your response time leaves a lot to be desired,” one of the men remarked and Oliver narrowed his eyes at the man, not liking his plucky tone. Plucky was not the usual response when he had someone cornered. Plucky implied that he didn’t actually have the upper hand -  _ they _ did. Instinctively, he hit the button on his suit to try and talk to Felicity but a static crackle was all that met his ears. 

_ Damn it.  _ He was still within range of the jammers.

“Back away from the tech,” he instructed in a clipped voice, watching as the smirking duo obliged. “Down on the ground. The lot of you.” 

“You… You  _ shot  _ my fucking hand!” 

Apparently injured hand dude wasn’t going to let that go. Ah well. Such was life. 

“And you committed a robbery the moment you broke into Kord Industries looking to steal things that don’t belong to you. We’ve all done things tonight,” Oliver retorted cheekily, adjusting his grip on his bow. “Now get down or your feet will match your hand.” 

The injured man made a noise of complaint but complied, while his compatriots glared daggers at Oliver before doing likewise. When the three of them were down he approached, careful to maintain a safe distance in case any of them got it in their heads to do something stupid. Removing some cordage from his quiver, he set about trussing them up. Starting with the uninjured two, he bound them tidily, intent on delivering them to SCPD headquarters with a bow literally tied around them for Lance. But as he set about tying up the injured man, he heard a sound that made his blood go suddenly cold. 

From the staircase just outside, he could hear footsteps.  _ Many  _ footsteps. The sound of the stairwell door bursting open preceded their arrival. Even as Oliver forgot about his attempts to tie up the injured criminal and reached for his bow though, he heard another sound distantly over the sound of footsteps. 

_ Thunder.  _

\-----

Staying calm as she ran proved challenging. For all her practice at harnessing her powers, she’d never had to learn to use them when she felt terror singing through her veins. But whenever her doubts began to rise up within her, Felicity tamped them back down, determined to get to Oliver in time to warn him.He couldn’t walk blindly into a firefight without backup. He’d be slaughtered. 

Thinking of him was all it took to keep her powers in hand, no matter how her terror clawed at her throat, threatening to suffocate her. 

It felt like lifetimes before she was racing up to the Kord building but in reality, it was probably closer to a matter of seconds, a minute at most. But as she came to a sliding stop in front of the building to try and do a brief moment of recon, flashes of gunfire reflected off the windows of the building and the staccato of it met her ears, making her heart pound.

She was too late. They’d already found Oliver. 

“Oh God,” Felicity gasped, lurching forward unthinkingly. Recon didn’t matter. Her own safety didn’t matter. All that mattered was getting to Oliver in time. The energy snapped and crackled around her as she threw herself headlong toward the building. A few armed men remained on the ground floor and Felicity was able to disarm them easily. Tapping into the same energy flow that had caused her to accidentally shoot lightning at Oliver that fateful day weeks ago, Felicity sent a surge of it pulsing at each of the men. She watched proudly as the distinct bolts of energy flashed across the room, knocking all the armed parties unconscious. With her would be assailants neutralized, Felicity’s eyes swung to the hostages, none of whom were Oliver, she noted with worry.

“GO! Get out of here, now!” 

Almost at the same time, however, she heard a sound that turned her blood to ice. A single, hollow gunshot that echoed heavily in the air from the floor above, which sounded different than all the gunshots that had come before it. The moment she heard it she was in motion, her feet carrying her across the first floor and up the stairs with all haste. But even as she dashed into the room where Oliver and his opponents were squaring off, she saw that she was too late. 

Oliver’s figure at the far end of the room was already contorted in pain and as she reached his side at superspeed, his attackers momentarily forgotten, she could easily see why.

A bullet had caught him just under his armpit, and his Kevlar had either failed or the bullet had caught a lucky angle. Whatever the case? He was wounded. And it was serious - she didn’t need to be a doctor to know how bad a gunshot wound to the chest must be. Even as she wrapped her arms around him, she used her free hand to bat still more bullets out of the way, the small projectiles nearly frozen in the air due to the tremendous speed at which she was moving. 

“OLIVER?! No. No no no. Oliver please, stay with me,” she whispered as she clutched him, suddenly very keenly aware of how  _ big  _ he was. And how  _ heavy _ . How was she going to get him out of here safely? Searching the room desperately, Felicity felt tears stinging her eyes and panic clouding her mind. That was all it took for her focus to break enough for time to resume at normal speed and she gasped as the men around them began to move again, their guns still pointed at her and Oliver. 

“NO,” she growled at herself, trying to clear her mind as she trembled, still holding him. “Keep it together, Smoak," she muttered to herself. But even as she readied herself to speed Oliver and herself away, a familiar figure stepped through the wall of hulking brutes and Felicity felt suddenly lightheaded. 

“B-Barry?”

Dressed from head to toe in black like some kind of cat burglar from a B-list movie, he emerged from the back of the pack, looking serious as he stared at her without compassion. This was not present day Barry - this was Future Barry. And he looked far more sinister than she remembered him being. 

“Hello, Felicity. How nice to see you again. Sorry it had to be under such extreme circumstances.” Felicity felt her eyes travel from Barry to Oliver and her unease in that moment grew profound. She wasn’t going to stick around here to find out what Barry was up to. But as she began to tap into her powers, Felicity felt something sharp prick her skin at the back of her neck. She gasped as a bone deep cold spread through her, making her feel as though her body had turned to ice. The blonde speedster attempted to grab at her neck and succeeded in wrenching away a silver dart but a quick glance at it showed it had emptied its contents into her bloodstream already, and indeed, she could feel her body slowing as the cold raced through her veins. 

Dropping the dart from her hands, Felicity had just enough energy to turn her head back to Barry, accusation written on her features. He smiled at her, holding aloft the tranq gun he had clearly shot her with when her back was turned. 

“Y-You did this?” Realization continued to dawn on her then but it was too late; even as she attempted to channel her powers into speed, she felt an empty vastness where the power dwelled, a frozen, barren landscape where before, lightning had been at her fingertips. The cold. Whatever Barry had done to her? It had rendered her powers useless. She could move her eyes and little else. Glancing to Oliver, Felicity whimpered as she saw the blood continue to pool under him despite her hands pressed fast to the injury site, attempting to staunch the blood. 

He was going to bleed to death. And she was stuck here like a statue watching it happen. 

“Guilty as charged. And don’t bother trying to run away; you see, the benefit to having formerly been a speedster? I know what a speedster’s weaknesses are. And in your case, since you have some version of the powers that I did, your weakness is  _ cold.  _ That dart has dropped your core body temperature so low that even with your whole body vibrating at your top superspeed, your molecules can’t move but the slightest bit. You see? To beat a speedster, you turn them  _ slow.  _ And cold happens to do that nicely.” 

Barry patted the barrel of the cold gun, setting it aside as he paced the room in a move so predictably ‘evil villain monologue’ style, she would have rolled her eyes, were it not so difficult to move them. Instead, she focused on Barry and Felicity forced her lips to move, though the energy she expended to do so felt gargantuan. 

“Y-You hacked my p-police scanner. Y-You created a  _ false p- _ police alert a-about a robbery to l-lure Oliver here. Why?!”

But even as the words left her mouth, Felicity knew why. She didn’t need him to tell her. She just wanted to hear him say it, to hear him admit to the dastardly plan he had concocted in his selfish, godawful quest to get what he wanted. 

“Because you wouldn’t help me,” Barry growled back, his whole body trembling with anger. “So I went to Harrison Wells. Because in my timeline? He’s actually Eobard Thawne. A time traveler who became my nemesis and traveled back in time to assume Wells’ identity to get close to me. He was a murderer and a villain in my time and I knew that I would need his help if I was going to have any chance of getting back to where I belonged.” 

“Y-You teamed up with your nemesis? Are you k-kidding me?” Felicity stammered, her teeth continuing to chatter from the cold that had frozen her muscles into stone. “D-Do you hear h-how insane you sound? That is  _ evil  _ B-Barry.” 

“Maybe. But it’s less evil than letting a man die and a future world disappear just because it’s inconvenient to you and your personal code of ethics,” Barry snarled accusingly, wagging a finger in her direction. “And it didn’t even matter because you know what? He didn’t know who I was!” Barry roared, his entire chest heaving. “He didn’t know me. Because you have let this go on for so long that the future I came from has started to disappear. Eobard Thawne no longer exists in my future because  _ I  _ no longer exist as The Flash in my future. He had no reason to travel back here. So Harrison Wells was just… THIS timeline’s Harrison Wells!” Barry shouted in exasperation, throwing his hands up. 

“Y-You’re m-mad that someone  _ wasn’t  _ m-murdered? Some h-hero you are,” Felicity challenged, only for Barry to whirl on her, his eyes bloodshot and wild. 

“You don’t have the first clue what kind of hero I am,” Barry snarled in protest but Felicity felt a smug sense of calm settle over her as she remembered what Oliver had told her. 

“Someone w-wise once t-told me that ‘d-doing heroic acts i-isn’t what makes a hero. A-Anyone can come to another p-person’s aid',” Felicity quoted, her eyes blazing as she focused on the force of her rage, the burning inferno of it. Impossibly, against the paralyzing cold, she felt the heat of her rage flare up her spine, returning some of the sensation to that area. Emboldened, Felicity carried on, quoting Oliver’s words to her that fateful day as they’d practiced her speed. “'A hero is s-someone who ch-chooses to put other people’s safety a-above their own.’ And f-from where I stand? Y-You don’t know the f-first thing about being a h-hero, B-Barry. And you n-never did,” Felicity growled at him, watching as Barry’s eyes bulged with the force of his wrath.

“You don’t know,” he whispered in a low voice, pacing back and forth, “YOU DON’T KNOW ANYTHING!” He screamed, leveling the cold gun at her in warning. Felicity had just enough mobility to tilt her chin up defiantly, her eyes flashing as Barry continued his wild ramblings. “You could have gotten me back my powers that first day and I would have made it back to my time with no one the wiser. But you refused. And now? Now even if I make it back there’s no telling what is left for me to go back to. So instead, I was forced to think like Thawne. So I hired these gentlemen,” he gestured to the goons behind him, "-to help me kill Oliver to give you the proper motivation you so clearly need." 

“Y-You’re m-mad,” Felicity grunted, her brows slanting together as she managed a furious glare. 

“Maybe. But I’m the madman who will be going home tonight,” Barry growled at her, lifting his head proudly. “I’ve been watching you. You’ve gotten pretty good at controlling your speed, Felicity. You’re faster than I ever was, even after years of practice. And you’re more powerful too. I saw the lightning you disabled those men downstairs with. Impressive,” Barry allowed, nodding his head as he stalked closer, his hands in his pockets. As he knelt before her, Felicity felt a thrill of danger as Barry forcibly lifted her chin with the barrel of the cold gun, his eyes dark as he stared her down. 

“You are going to run back in time now whether you want to or not. And you’re going to go back to the night of the accident and get me back my powers. Because if you don’t? Oliver there is going to die. And here’s a fun fact - because I know mister ‘honor code’ over there probably hasn’t told you. In my future? You two are married. So tell me, Felicity: are you willing to let your future husband and the father of your children  _ die  _ or will you play ball?” Barry breathed, so focused on studying her face that Felicity could tell, he hadn’t seen the subtle twitch of her fingers on the hand applying pressure to Oliver’s wound. 

“One thing y-you should know a-about me, B-Barry? I d-don’t care for sports m-metaphors,” Felicity growled.

Everything happened all at once then; Felicity pitched her body forward, tackling Barry to the ground with the sheer weight of herself while her somewhat un-thawed hand fumbled with the cold gun. The pair grappled for a brief moment and Felicity knew it was only the fear of shooting the man paying them that prevented Barry’s hired guns from firing on the pair. But even as they wrestled each other, there was a sudden quiet hiss and beneath her, Felicity felt Barry go slack. 

She drew away from him in an instant, the shiny little dart protruding from his abdomen providing a clear cause for Barry’s sudden listlessness. Guilt swept through Felicity in a heartbeat and before she could say a word to Barry, his whole body tensed and a thin sheen of frost crept across his skin, encasing him in an icy tomb. 

A strangled wail left Felicity’s lips, her horror and shock so profound that she was momentarily too stunned to move. It was only the click of the hired goons across from her undoing the safeties on their guns that set her into motion. 

Barry was dead. But she could not leave Oliver to that same fate. 

Even as quick fingers pulled the triggers of multiple assault rifles, Felicity summoned the flow of electricity and from the frozen recesses of her body, she felt the answering call of her powers as the energy flowed through her, splintering the icy cold that had held her prisoner. The world seemed to go still and silent around her as her speed returned to her and without delay, Felicity grabbed Oliver into her arms, praying it was not too late. 

She was getting him out of here. She was getting him out of here  _ now.  _ She had superhuman powers, for crying out loud. She had muscles courtesy of dark matter lightning bolts, damn it. She was going to use these powers to save Oliver or die trying. Pressing one hand to his wound, she did her level best to heft him into her arms, staggering momentarily under his weight. But though her arms and legs trembled, she did not fold beneath him. 

“Hold on, Oliver. Please. I love you just... Hold on,” she begged him, her heart beating erratically within her chest as a torrent of energy unlike anything she had ever known before ripped through her. She felt as though she might cleave in two as she threw herself forward, clinging to Oliver as the purple and pink lightning coursed through and around her. Then?

She  _ ran.  _ Admittedly, Felicity had a new concept of what constituted ‘fast’; but as she raced through the darkened streets of Starling, she felt as though she was moving at tremendous speeds - even for her.

Her fastest hadn’t been enough to save Oliver from being shot. She could only hope her speed would be enough to save him now. 


	10. Chapter 10

“Felicity, you’re doing it again.” 

Diggle’s voice was gentle but tired as he alerted her to the fact that she’d unconsciously begun to tap into her speed as she paced the private waiting room the hospital had stuck them in. As soon as Felicity had gotten Oliver to the hospital, Diggle had been her first call. She had been out of her mind with worry and grief, guilt and confusion, sorrow and heartache.

She hadn’t taken him out of his leathers. There hadn’t been time and her fingers were still regaining sensation when she had arrived at the hospital. And truthfully? She hadn’t been in the right mindset for it. She was terrified at having revealed Oliver’s identity and she was still more terrified that she’d gotten him here too little, too late. He’d barely had a pulse when she’d turned him over to the doctor, who had solemnly promised to care for him. 

“Sorry,” Felicity apologized quickly, concentrating for a moment and forcing herself to slow back to normal speeds. She continued walking in an endless loop back and forth across the west side of the room, wringing her hands as she went. 

Oliver had been shot.  _ Shot.  _ And this was not some glancing wound, easily stitched and made better by Diggle’s intermediate skills at throwing stitches. This was a life threatening injury, the kind of ‘shot’ that led to headstones in cemeteries and teary eulogies. When John and Roy had shown up at the hospital, Felicity had still quite literally had Oliver’s blood on her hands from her attempts to staunch the bleeding from his wound. They’d had to help her to a bathroom and wash her up because she’d been too deep in shock to do it herself. 

And then there was Barry to consider. Barry whose body was now lying in the Foundry after Roy had gone to Kord Industries to clean up the mess Felicity had left behind. Barry who, for all intents and purposes,  _ she had killed.  _ Barry who had, once upon a time, been the wielder of the very powers she now possessed. Barry who had gone from being a supposed hero, to a villain, because of those powers. 

Was she following in his footsteps? Was Felicity in the midst of her own transformation from ‘good guy’ to ‘bad guy’? 

She was a murderer. She had brought about Barry’s death with her own two hands. It didn’t matter that the weapon had been his or that she hadn’t been trying to hurt him, only disarm him. The fact remained that he  _ had  _ been shot and the dose of ‘cold’ that he’d been given had clearly been lethal. With a shiver, she recalled the layer of frost that had spread across his skin in seconds. 

How had one night that had begun with such promise at Big Belly gone so horribly awry? Oliver had been  _ shot.  _ The words ricocheted through her brain again. Oliver had been  _ shot _ .  _ Oliver had been shot. _ And what’s more?  _ Barry had been the one to shoot him.  _ All because she had denied him.

Oh god. If Oliver died it would be entirely her fault. She should never have let him go alone. She should have run faster, gotten to him sooner. She’d felt it as she ran with Oliver to get him to the hospital; she couldn’t be sure, but it had been just there, right at her fingertips. A slipstream of speed so intense she just  _ knew  _ what it must have been - she’d been very close to running through time. Breaking the sound barrier felt different (she’d done that ages ago). But what she’d felt as she raced to get Oliver here? Felicity was convinced what she’d felt was the ability to run to the past. 

And she had chosen not to. Now, she wondered if that had been wise.

Here she sat, twiddling her thumbs as Oliver fought for his life and there was nothing she could do to tip the scales in his favor. Or was there?  _ Barry ran back through time to change the past _ , a voice in the back of her head nagged at her and Felicity felt her insides go cold for reasons that had nothing to do with the still lingering effects of the cold gun Barry had used on her.  _ If he did it numerous times, she could do it just once. Just to save Oliver.  _

No. No no no.  _ No _ . She was not even remotely going to entertain the thought of running back in time. How much had she judged Barry for doing the very same thing? For meddling in time, consequences be damned? 

The thought pounded through her head in an endless loop, her heart stuttering with every reminder. She might yet lose Oliver. It seemed grossly unfair. She had been sitting around, trying to find ways of telling him how she felt without scaring him off and now he’d been shot  _ because of her  _ and he might die never knowing the truth.

She loved him. How could she let the man she loved die when she might (scratch that,  _ did _ ) have the power to save him? He would die never knowing how she felt. Sure, she’d said the words aloud to him but he’d been unconscious at the time. That didn’t count!

“Jesus, Felicity just...  _ Sit. Down.  _ You’re going to phase through the floor if you keep this shit up” Roy wasn’t as good at hiding his exasperation as Diggle was. Even as she looked to him in confusion, he rose and grabbed her by the shoulder, towing her over to a seat and motioning for her to sit. Looking down at her hands, she realized she had, in fact, begun to vibrate so fast that her hands were phasing. Roy was right to be afraid she’d lose total control and phase through the floor. That would have been incredibly hard to explain.

But the good news? If she could phase, then the cold gun’s effects must be wearing off.

She seated herself with a heavy sigh, her head in her now once again solid hands as she tried to clear her mind and just focus on being still. All her training to harness her powers and now suddenly she couldn’t stop using them? It felt like life having a cruel laugh at her expense, honestly. 

What was the right thing to do here? Oliver was a good man. A hero. He had helped countless people in this city through his efforts. It was her poor choices that had landed them here - of that she was convinced. Did she risk the ripple effect that changing the past would incur to save him? But if she did it once, what would stop her from doing it a second time, or a third? What would stop her from becoming  _ Barry?  _

_ What would Oliver want her to do _ ? The thought entered her mind and Felicity sucked in a breath, knowing the answer but hating it just the same. Oliver would want her to let him die rather than risk herself. That much she was sure of. But it wasn’t the risk to  _ herself  _ she cared about - she would have gladly laid her life on the line if it meant she could save him. It was all the  _ other  _ lives that might be impacted by her choice that she was worried about. 

Brokenly, Felicity came to the conclusion that, in her heart, she’d already known.

It didn’t matter that she  _ could  _ run to the past and save him if he died tonight. She wouldn’t do it. He wouldn’t want her to. And not even the love she bore him was justification enough to place everyone else in the world at risk.

“John,” she whispered, placing a hand on each of her knees as she tried to keep herself calm and still even as her heart was breaking with the realization she’d come to. “...Is he going to be okay?” 

It wasn’t a fair question. He didn’t know any better than she did. But John had been through things like this before, during his time in the service. Felicity? Well, she hadn’t. She’d experienced loss of a sort, when her father had abandoned her. And she’d lost her maternal grandparents as a kid too. But this? This was different. 

Losing someone in the prime of their life? Losing someone young and vibrant who still ought to have years? … Losing someone you had romantic feelings of love for? Losing someone and having it be  _ entirely your fault? _ It just… wasn’t the same. 

“I don’t know, Felicity. But I do know that you getting him here so fast gave him the best shot he could ask for at making a full recovery,” Diggle did his level best to assure her but Felicity could only wince. 

She should have been faster. She should have gone straight up the stairs from the get go when she got inside the building. She should never have stopped to survey the exterior of the building. She should have moved like a freight train, she might have gotten there in time, instead of showing up too little, too late. She should have been a step ahead of Barry and sped out of the Kord building before he could hit her with the cold gun. She hadn’t saved Oliver or helped him, no matter what Diggle said. All she’d done was scrape him off the floor. 

“I never should have let him go into the field solo. This is all my fault.”

She’d never forgive herself if he didn’t wake up. This was entirely her doing. She should have insisted more firmly on him having backup. She should have demanded they wait for Roy or John. Or hell,  _ she  _ should have gone with him! How many precious seconds and minutes had she wasted running from the Foundry to the Kord building and from Kord to the hospital? If she had been on site, she could have swept him off to safety long before a single bullet ever punctured his skin. She had rapid healing powers, for crying out loud and instead, she’d hidden behind her computers, safe in the bunker while Oliver had risked life and limb.

She was a coward and a failure. 

A warm hand passed across her back and she startled as Diggle gave her a gentle side hug. He sought out her gaze and when he found it, held it, staring her down intently. 

“Hey. Save the self loathing and blaming yourself for everything routine for Oliver. That’s his shtick, not yours,” John teased her gently, holding firm to her. “This wasn’t your fault, Felicity. Any of it. Barry is the one who tried to have Oliver killed - not you. And Oliver? Oliver is a grown man. He knows better than to go into the field alone but he made a choice. And as for you? You are the only reason he is still breathing. That means you aren’t at fault. You’re to thank for him still being alive.” 

Felicity blinked, dumbfounded. “I’m sorry, did you just imply that I was sounding like  _ Oliver _ ?!” Oof. She was in worse shape than she thought if that was the comparison being drawn. “Frak. That’s bad.”

“Yep. You’ve got a pretty serious case of the Oliver Queen ‘blame myself’ blues,” Diggle chided her teasingly. “Better watch out, or next thing we know you’re going to start responding to questions with grunts and coming up with quippy catchphrases about failing cities,” he winked at her as he slowly drew back from her and sat regarding her quietly. 

“I just… I expected better of myself. That’s all,” she tried to explain quietly and John chuckled beside her, shaking his head. 

“Felicity, you got struck by lightning and gained powers. Those powers don’t make you responsible for shouldering the weight of the world. They just make you a little faster than the rest of us.” 

“A  _ little  _ faster?” Roy snarked from across the way and Diggle shot him a warning look. 

“He’s right. I’m more than a little faster. So I should have thought ahead to this possibility sooner, John.” 

“Felicity, you need to ease up on yourself,” Diggle began but Felicity shook her head, cutting him off. 

“Life hasn’t eased up on me or on any of us. So why should I ease up on myself? I need to do better. I  _ have  _ to  _ be  _ better,” she whimpered, passing a hand over her face as she fought to keep her breathing level. 

“Felicity, no one can be expected to be their best selves when dealing with situations like this,” Diggle countered and Felicity felt her train of thought screech to a stop.

“Situations like this? How many people deal with situations like this, Digg? I feel like we’re a pretty specific demographic, ‘vigilantes and the people that assist them’. Superpowered ‘metahumans’. There aren’t exactly support groups popping up nationwide...”

Roy snorted and bit back a smirk but Diggle just sighed and ran a hand across the top of his head, scratching his forehead for a moment as he seemed to collect himself.

“That’s not the kind of situation I was referring to, Felicity.” 

“Then what  _ were  _ you referring to? Because I’m a little lost here, John.” 

“I mean… It’s always hard when you’re worrying about the wellbeing of someone who you…” he trailed off expectantly, making eye contact and giving her a pointed look that she completely did not understand. 

“Someone who I what?”

John hung his head and made a frustrated little noise and Roy chuckled openly. “You’re going to have to spell it out for her, Digg,” Roy remarked with a wide smile and Felicity flashed him a frown.

“Wait,  _ he  _ knows what you’re talking about but I don’t? What is happening here?!”

“Felicity. No one is ever at their best when they’re watching someone that they love fight for their life.” 

She tried not to remain passive but between the swoop in her stomach and the mental overload of Diggle’s words, she found herself blinking furiously as she tried to respond calmly. 

“I love all of you guys. You’re my family. That doesn’t mean I should get a free pass to be an idiot around you,” she tried to reason and Diggle shook his head. 

“Come on Felicity, don’t give me that. I know you. And I know Oliver. I have seen the way you two look at each other and how you interact. You love each other,” Diggle murmured, his voice gentle as he broke the news to her. She gnawed momentarily at her lower lip and then she closed her eyes and buried her face in her hands. 

“Well, you’re half right,” she remarked hoarsely, still hiding behind her hands. “I do… love him, that is. But Oliver… John, he doesn’t love me.” 

“Oh my god I thought you were supposed to be a genius?! Come on!” Roy groused and she lifted her head, glaring at him with teary eyes. 

“It doesn’t take a genius to know that when someone invites you to a dinner that gets interrupted by a murderous ex-friend and then they get shot, that might be the universe telling you that you aren’t meant to be together,” Felicity returned more sharply than she’d intended to, wincing moments later. “I’m sorry, Roy. I’m not mad at you. I’m mad at me.” 

Roy lifted his hands before him and shook his head at Diggle, clearly done trying. But from beside her, Felicity felt John stir. 

“Felicity, I don’t know about your interrupted dinner. But I do know-”

“John, please,” Felicity sighed weakly, “please don’t. I cannot handle any false hope on this, okay? He doesn’t feel the same way. And that’s… that’s okay. Someday, maybe I won’t feel my heart clench every time he walks into a room.” At this, she offered him a watery smile, but her heart wasn’t in it. “But right now? I do. But that doesn’t make it okay for me to mess up like I did tonight.” 

“Felicity,” his voice was stern as John leaned his shoulder to bump against hers, his eyes soft as she met his gaze. “-watching the person you love risk themselves needlessly? That would drive  _ anyone  _ out of their mind with worry. No one is at their best when the people they love are in danger. Your heart will always be in your throat, the stakes will always be high. Take it from a guy who was married to an Army soldier; life or death situations? They never get any easier when your heart is in the line of fire. You just… learn to recognize the stakes. That’s all.” 

A throat clearing interrupted them then and the trio whipped their heads up to see that the doctor had entered the room. Her eyes were serious but didn’t seem sorrowful, so Felicity felt a tiny ray of hope shine through the darkness. Still, she found herself reaching out for John’s hand, relaxing minutely as both of his sandwiched hers with a comforting squeeze.

“He’s out of surgery,” the doctor explained, looking at them each in turn. “The bullet caused a tension pneumothorax. Essentially, the bullet hole created a one way valve and allowed air into his chest, but not out. The pressure built and eventually collapsed his lung, which then put undue strain on his heart. He had a rough go of it but for now, he is stable and in recovery. The lung collapse will take a couple weeks but should heal. He’s a very lucky man - he lost a lot of blood and the bullet was centimeters away from doing irreparable damage but because of how quickly you got him here, he should make a full recovery.” 

“Can I-  _ can we  _ \- see him?” Felicity queried hopefully and the doctor offered her a small smile. 

“He’s getting moved from recovery to his room shortly. But there’s a one person per room limit on his floor and it’s already after visiting hours...” the doctor trailed off in explanation.

Felicity was on her feet before she’d even realized she’d moved. She glanced to both men questioningly but Diggle was already waving her forward and Roy was nodding encouragingly. 

“Go. Take all the time that you need. We’ll be here waiting for you and we can see him tomorrow.” 

Felicity did not need to be told twice; she followed the doctor as the other woman led her through the hospital halls, kindly escorting her right to Oliver’s room. Felicity pushed the door open tentatively, swallowing as she steeled herself for what was waiting on the other side. 

It was worse than she had expected. 

Seeing Oliver like this? Still out from the anesthesia, hooked up to a million monitors, with wires and tubes running every which way? Somehow, Oliver Queen’s hulking six foot something frame looked impossibly small in the hospital bed. He also looked more vulnerable than she’d ever seen him before. And it broke her heart to think she’d allowed this to happen on her watch. 

The room itself was dark; the overhead lights were off, leaving only the moonlight streaming in through the window and the lights of Oliver’s monitors to illuminate the space. There was a small chair in the room and she pulled it up to his bedside, seating herself near his head. Gingerly, she wrapped her hands around one of his, careful not to tug at his IV. Tears sprang into her eyes as she stared at him, the total weight of her grief and guilt and worry crashing down on her with force. 

“You really had me worried there, you know that?” Felicity sniffled through her tears, her thumb brushing lightly against the backs of his fingers. “I heard that gunshot and I thought I’d lost you.” 

Her eyes shuttered as she relived the moment, the echo of the shot eliciting goosebumps even now. For a few seconds that had stretched into eternity, she had feared him lost to her forever even as she sprinted to his side. That gunshot, horrible as it had been, had brought everything into abundant clarity. The horror that had flared within her chest when she’d seen the bullet wound had been enough to nearly break her in the moment.

“I-I can’t lose you. Do you hear me Oliver Queen? I need you to stick around for a long,  _ long  _ time,” she pleaded desperately with his unconscious figure. One hand loosened its hold on his hand and reached out for his face in the gentlest of touches as she felt the soft warmth of his flesh beneath her fingers, reassuring herself that he was, in fact, alive and well. 

“Y-You asked me… what my center was,” Felicity whispered, her heart fluttering nervously. “I described it to you. Do you remember?” She paused to lick her lips, mentally chastising herself for feeling so nervous. He was in a drug induced sleep. The doctor had said it might take him a while to wake up. There was nothing to lose in talking to him. And god, she had so much to say to him. She just prayed he’d wake up so she got the chance.

“What I didn’t tell you is… my ‘center’? The place where I feel safe and warm and not alone? It… It’s with  _ you _ , Oliver.” Once more, her heart thumped against her chest as she recalled the morning after he’d spent the night at her place. Waking up in bed beside him had been  _ everything  _ and more. Nothing, in all her years, had ever come close to matching it. And she was convinced nothing in her future ever would either. 

Oliver was her center. The place where she felt  _ home.  _

“Because you see Oliver, the thing is…  _ I love you _ ,” Felicity confessed, the words rife with raw emotion. The import of those words was not lost on her; it carried greater weight than anything she had perhaps told anyone in her life  _ ever.  _

But it was true. She knew it in her bones. She loved him. And not in a platonic way. She loved him in a heart palpitation inspiring, weak in the knees, consuming, romantic kind of way the likes of which she’d never known. This was not some schoolgirl crush or some minor infatuation. This was the real deal. The ‘forever and always’ kind of stuff. At least, when it was requited. Which this wasn’t. But that wasn’t the point. 

She loved him with her whole heart. And it had taken this - nearly losing him - for her to see it with absolute clarity. Suddenly, all her excuses and reasons for not telling him seemed paltry and pathetic and small. He had almost died and if he had? He would have died never knowing the truth of her heart. And that pained her beyond words to imagine. 

“Oh wow. That’s a lot to dump on you. I’m sorry. You know how I get when I get nervous. Blah blah blah, that’s me. Rambling away. It never stops, even when I count and get myself in hand,” she sighed and shook her head, already feeling herself spiraling.  _ Focus _ . 

“I love you. And it’s okay that you don’t love me back. I don’t expect you to say it. I know that you see us as friends. And that’s alright. It’s better than alright because you… you mean so much to me, Oliver. No matter what we are to each other: friends, teammates, or something else - as long as you’re in my life? … I’m happy.” 

It was true. She would take whatever version of him she could have and happily. The very thought of losing Oliver - Oliver who had become so beloved - brought her to tears. Losing him? It would destroy her. Of that she was certain. But she was just one small piece of the puzzle. 

“I know you think that you’re expendable… That no one would  _ really  _ miss you if you were gone. Well, allow me to go full Charles Dickens on you and pay you a little visit as the ghost of Christmas future: you have a lot of people that care about you. People who would be devastated if anything happened to you,” she explained, taking a deep breath as she ran through the list. “There’s Thea, for one. And John. Roy. Sara. ...And me,” she added in a small voice, continuing to run her thumb across the fingers of the hand she held tightly in hers. “You make our lives better. And we would  _ all  _ miss you if you were gone. So please… Don’t tempt that fate, Oliver. You’re not expendable to any of us. And especially not to me.” 

She swallowed then but found herself unable to swallow away the lump in her throat. 

“Seeing you here like this? Even knowing the doctor said you should be okay when you wake up? That’s hard enough. I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you,” Felicity murmured, boldly letting her fingers stroke through his hair as she stared down at him tenderly. 

And then,  _ he blinked at her.  _

“Now you know what it was like for me when  _ you  _ were in the hospital,” he wheezed and Felicity had to stop herself just shy of bolting onto her feet and across the room in surprise and mild alarm.  _ He was awake.  _ Her hand wrenched away from him in shock and she felt her mouth round into a little ‘o’ of surprise. 

“Oliver?! You’re awake!?” Felicity questioned, feeling her stomach tying itself into knots. 

“I don’t need to be told that, Felicity,” he teased with a hoarse chuckle as he shifted in position within the hospital bed, struggling to sit up straighter so he could look at her. He managed to scoot up a little, though he was still closer to lying down than to sitting up.

“How… How  _ long  _ have you been awake?!” Felicity’s attempt at nonchalance sounded strained even to her own ears. How much of her baring her soul before him had he actually heard? And how much would he remember in the morning? These were important questions that she wasn’t going to get answers to just now. 

“Dunno how long I’ve been awake. You were already talking when I started coming to,” he muttered, looking at her with a weighty gaze. “Are we going to talk about what you were saying?” 

“No. We are absolutely not.” They were not going to have this conversation now. His energies ought to be directed towards healing. He shouldn’t be made to feel that he has to fend off her unwanted advances from the confines of his hospital bed. She’d already hurt him enough without hurting his recovery too.

“Felicity,” Oliver began warningly and she shook her head. 

“Not now. You should rest.” Her voice was firm but as his eyes bored into hers, she felt that familiar flutter in the pit of her stomach and her resolve momentarily weakened. 

“I have a feeling I’ve been out for a while. Doesn’t that count as rest? I want to talk,” he objected but Felicity tried her best to remain firm.

“Drug induced states of unconsciousness for surgery hardly qualify as ‘rest’, Oliver.” 

“What?!” That got him. As she watched, he struggled to sit up in full, leaning towards her as he did so. “What happened?” 

“Y-You don’t remember?” Felicity asked and Oliver gave a faint shake of his head as he looked up at her, his eyes bloodshot and weary. 

“No. I remember leaving Big Belly Burger,” a flicker of a shadow passed over his face but he persisted, “-and I remember going to the Foundry. Changing. And heading over to Kord Industries.. Losing comms...And I remember I had the guys just about pinned down and then...nothing,” he explained slowly. His breathing came in shallow waves and she could hear how the air rattled through his weakened lungs.  _ Oh Oliver. _

“There was more to the robbery than we thought. The reason we lost comms? It’s because there were signal jammers. By the time I saw the rest of the team on satellite, you were unreachable. So I… I ran to you,” she confessed, her gaze dropping to their joined hands as she confessed to having used her powers to go to him. She had a feeling this would go over poorly. 

“You did  _ what _ ?!” Oliver grumbled, his eyes flying open wide as he regarded her with panic. “Felicity, you could have been seen! Your identity could have been compromised!” 

“Please, Oliver, I have cleaned up after you enough times that wiping security feeds is like taking candy from a baby,” she dismissed with a wave of her hand and a shake of her head. “I took care of that from here with my phone. And Roy went back and cleaned up… umm… the rest.” 

“Cleaning up after  _ my  _ messes is different,” Oliver rumbled contrarily and Felicity eyed him with raised brows. 

“It is precisely the same and you know it, so shut it,” she chirped back tersely, not about to listen to him prattling on about not being worth saving or whatever such nonsense he was about to spew at her. “Besides, like I said, between Roy and I we handled it. It’s umm… more complicated than you know.”

He scowled at this and she waved her hands at him, trying to backtrack. “Don’t worry about it. The point is, I’ve got it under control. This was different. Trust me, it was good that I was there.” 

“It’s not and I  _ will  _ argue it,” he snapped back with a bit more vigor and she eyed him in surprise as he stared at her, his expression stern. “I’ve trained for years to be out there. I willingly risk my life out there to save others - and that includes you. Felicity, if you go out there in the field? I won’t be able to focus on the mission!” 

At this she scoffed and drew herself up, unable to help how that statement had ruffled her feathers. “What, because I’m green? I’m not completely without skill,” she countered. “You and Diggle have been coaching me for how many months now? And I think the fact that I have superhuman powers should count for something!”

“Felicity, if you’re out there I won’t be able to focus. Not because of training or powers. Because  _ I love you.  _ And I cannot have you in harm’s way. I just… I can’t! Anytime you are in danger I can’t think. I can barely breathe. It’s like having someone rip my heart right out of my chest.”

Convinced he’d misspoken or she’d misheard him, she forged ahead, not letting herself get swept up in that four letter word that she had definitely, totally misheard. He probably meant he loved her as a friend, if he’d meant to use the ‘l’ word at all. Which he totally hadn’t. 

“You are in harm’s way all the time and I make do, Oliver. If you risk yourself, how can you expect me to do any less? You’re the leader of this team, Oliver. I’m just the plucky sidekick at best!” 

“Felicity! Come on. You think  _ I’m  _ not expendable?  _ You’re  _ not expendable. You can’t just go putting yourself into danger on my account!” 

As he parroted her words back to her, Felicity flushed. So they were circling back to what she’d told him while she thought he was asleep, hmm? She’d thought she might have more time before that happened. Apparently not. 

“You put yourself in danger every day, Oliver. And you don’t have superhuman healing powers!” Felicity hissed, taking his hand in hers and holding it tight. “If you get hurt? That’s it, Oliver. One carefully aimed bullet, one stray swing of a knife? That’s all you get. You’ll be gone. Like  _ that _ ,” she snapped her fingers for emphasis even as she stared him down. “Meanwhile, I can heal in moments and I’ve been hiding out all this time behind my keyboards like a coward. Well guess what? I’m done. If you’re in the field? Then I’m in the field. New rule.” 

“Absolutely not.” 

“Too late. I already decided,” she ground out through clenched teeth, shaking her head at him. “I can’t just let you risk yourself day in and day out while I’ve got a built in safety net and I’m sitting safe behind my computers!” 

“Safe is exactly where I want you to be, Felicity!”

“I don’t want to be safe! I want to be with  _ you _ !  _ Unsafe _ !” Felicity countered, staring at him imploringly. “What’s the point in having these powers if I never use them to do anything good?” 

“Felicity,” Oliver groaned, leaning in towards her. “You’ve always had superpowers but you never felt the need to go out in the field with them before. What’s changed?” 

_ Huh?  _ Had he rattled a few brain cells loose when that bullet struck him? She hadn’t always had powers. 

“Oliver, I only got my powers this past spring,” she reminded him gently, concern flooding her voice as she stared at him worriedly. Had he suffered a brain injury? Had he been without oxygen because of the lung collapse? Why was his memory being impacted?! Her mind raced with the possibilities, all of them frightening. 

“Felicity, you have  _ always _ had superpowers,” Oliver explained with a low chuckle, lifting his free hand to tap her temple. “This has always been one of your superpowers. That beautiful brain of yours,” he murmured sleepily and she sighed, finally catching his meaning. 

What a sweet, sincere  _ doofus _ . 

“Oliver,” she began to object but he shook his head, silencing her.

“Felicity, take it from the guy who couldn’t even cobble together a phone trace without you - what you do for this team? It  _ is  _ your superpower. One of many. This speed and healing stuff? Those are just the latest in your long string of talents. But from where I stand - err,  _ sit _ ,” he amended quickly, “you have always had superpowers. You just didn’t realize it before.” He shrugged as he complimented her delicately and Felicity momentarily felt dizzy. 

_ “Oh, _ ” she exhaled faintly, her eyes wide and owlish. Her gaze dropped to their intertwined hands, fixating on a chip in her aquamarine nail polish. She liked the way her hands fit in his and how he liked to use his thumb to rub the back of her hand comfortingly. As if  _ he  _ had any business comforting  _ her  _ right now. He was the one who had been shot, for crying out loud! 

She blew out a breath before she raised her eyes to his once more, 

“Thank you,” she hummed softly and he smiled at her before reclining wearily against the pillows at his back. 

“Felicity, thank  _ you _ . I don’t think you have any idea just how much you do for this team. But I promise you, it’s a lot.” 

“I can do more,” she voiced firmly and Oliver shook his head. 

“Who would be my eyes and ears if you were out in the field instead of on comms?” 

“We’ll figure it out. We can outsource,” she joked lamely and Oliver snorted. 

“Not a chance. I already brought Cisco and Caitlin into the fold but that was done grudgingly. I’d rather not make them a part of the team.” 

“I should be with you in the field,” she began again and he shook his head, his eyes flashing warningly now. 

“Felicity,  _ no.”  _

“Why Oliver? Why is it alright for you to risk your neck but not for me to risk mine?” It was the question she kept circling back to, unsatisfied with his answers thus far. Expendability? He was the indispensable one. Not her. There was no Team Arrow without the Arrow himself. It was a simple equation. 

In answer, he actually had the audacity to  _ chuckle  _ and she felt her hackles raise. 

“You are  _ not  _ laughing at me right now. I’m being serious.” 

“So am I Felicity. I’m sorry,” Oliver allowed, wiping away tears as his laughter broke off into muffled snorts. He eyed her then, his eyes sparkling in a way that did not fit with the discussion they were having  _ at all.  _ “You didn’t hear what I said earlier, did you?” 

“Which part? The part about me having superpowers? Or the part about how you think I’m not expendable but  _ you  _ are? Because I caught that loud and clear and I beg to differ,” she bristled angrily and he shook his head, trying to hold back a smile and failing. 

“The part about me loving you.” 

She went stock still as he said it again and this time, this time she was having a  _ very _ hard time convincing herself she’d misheard him. 

“The part about you  _ what _ ?” 

“You heard me. I. Love. You.” The emphasis after each word was like a hammer falling to accent each syllable, making her heart stutter and struggle to keep beating. 

He loved her? 

“You don’t have to say it, just because I said what I did, Oliver,” she tried to discourage him quietly, shaking her head as she shrank back from him, drawing her limbs to her body as she curled up in her chair shyly. 

“Felicity, I love you.”

“No you don’t,” Felicity responded sharply, shaking her head at him in disbelief. This couldn’t be real. It wasn’t. “You can’t.”

At this, Oliver chuckled again and looked at the ceiling tiles, shaking his head in amusement. 

“You know, I don’t have a lot of experience telling women this but somehow, I don’t think the normal response to ‘I love you’ is ‘No you don’t’,” he remarked and Felicity could only blink at him, flabbergasted. 

“You’ve been through a traumatic ordeal, Oliver. You’re not thinking straight,” Felicity protested, only for him to let go of her hand in favor of cupping her face in his palm. 

“This isn’t a reaction to what happened, or to anything you said today. I was going to tell you back at Big Belly Burger before we got interrupted. I’ve known it for a while but I waited because... I didn’t want to risk our friendship. And then I wanted to be the support system that you needed me to be while you learned your powers. I didn’t want you to question my motives or to feel shoehorned into something. I just… I wanted to be there for you. But I think right now… what you need from me is honesty. And that’s what I’m giving you. Because the truth is.... I. Love. You.” 

“That’s not possible,” Felicity shook her head, a tear slipping down her cheek and landing on his hand. With a gentle flick, he wiped the watery trail the tear had left behind away from her skin, his gaze holding hers.

“I promise you it is very possible.” 

“No it isn’t. You said it yourself… after Russia,” she pointed out, going still and quiet for a moment, her eyes downcast as she recalled the conversation with bitter clarity. “You said that you thought it was better that you not be with someone you could really care about,” Felicity protested weakly and his eyes fell closed, his nostrils flaring as he nodded. 

“I did say that.” 

“So… What does this mean? You love me but you can’t be with me? Because honestly, Oliver, my heart cannot take that kind of hurt. You can’t just dangle maybes in front of me and give me false hope. Say that we’re never going to happen. Say that you don’t actually lo-”

His finger pressed against her lips then, effectively silencing her as their eyes met, his wide and clear as he spoke with quiet conviction. “Don’t,” he murmured. “Don’t ask me to say that I don’t love you.” 

“Then don’t ask me to settle for anything less than all of your heart,” Felicity countered, blinking at him through her tears. “My life is a mess, Oliver. My heart, if possible, is even more so. Either you’re all in, or I’m out.”

“Felicity. This is me. All in,” Oliver assured her, watching as she stared back at him, sniffling quietly. 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Now come here.” Oliver crooked a finger at her and she felt a nervous flutter in her stomach. Like butterflies - if butterflies weighed as much as bricks, perhaps. With her stomach flipping and flopping, she drew in close, her heart positively off the charts fast. She had to make a concentrated effort to keep her powers in hand because if they were about to share their first kiss - and she was pretty sure they were - then the last thing she needed was to accidentally phase right through his lips. 

That would be the opposite of good. 

But just as she bent towards him expectantly, a sharp rap at the door drew her up short as the sound of the door swinging open preceded the doctor’s arrival. 

“Just checking in. I see you’re awake now, Mister Queen. That’s good.” 

Felicity leaned back in her chair, putting space between herself and Oliver so that she could clear her head and think. The last few minutes had been… well, a lot to process. She’d be lying if she said she wasn’t still reeling from Oliver’s declaration of love, right on the heels of her very own declaration. It all felt a little surreal. But as the doctor did a quick exam on Oliver, checking his pupillary response and various other things, Felicity was reminded of how very real  _ all  _ of the day’s events had been. 

Saying he loved her was not going to wiggle Oliver out of the stern talking-to she intended to give him, about the importance of backup and how he would not be going anywhere without it from now on. But that could wait. For now, she was content to simply soak up the sight of him, his blue eyes tinged with fatigue and pain but no less dazzling for it, his cheeks a little rosy, his skin warm to the touch. Seeing him alive was the balm her soul had needed. His declaration of love had been… amazing, to be sure. But him being alive and expected to make a full recovery? Well. That was the best news of the day, bar none. 

As the doctor finished up with him, she regarded Felicity and with a gentle look, she spoke. 

“I hate to chase you away, but it’s already well beyond visiting hours and I’ve bent the rules having you up here as it is,” she explained apologetically and Felicity shook her head as she rose to her feet, drawing her grey moto jacket close around her middle. 

“Say no more; I really appreciate you letting me see him. Thank you,” she murmured smilingly, turning her gaze next to Oliver. The look he was giving her made her heart skip a beat and she couldn’t bite back her answering smile. God, this was going to be a disaster. All he had to do was smile to make her weak in the knees. She was in trouble, alright.

And she had never been so happy to be in so much trouble in all her life. 

“As for you? Please rest. I will be back first thing in the morning,” she hummed at him as she stepped to his bedside and bent at the waist. She hesitated for just a moment before she kissed him on the cheek, her hand lingering on the opposite side of his face and stroking his cheekbones fondly. 

“And by first thing you mean sun-up, right?” Oliver queried hopefully and she snorted softly, shaking her head. 

“I mean the minute that visiting hours start I will be right here.” 

“You promise?” 

“Cross my heart,” she answered back, running her thumb over his lips in a silent promise before she straightened and glanced to the doctor. “Thank you again.” Felicity moved across the room, lingering for a moment in the doorway as she looked back at Oliver. “Tomorrow morning,” she repeated, nodding at him from the doorway. “Goodnight and...I love you,” she added in a moment of boldness, not waiting to see his reaction before she disappeared out into the hospital hall.

And for precisely the second time since she’d gained her powers, Felicity felt the strongest surge of temptation. If Barry had run through time to the past, did that mean she could run through time to the future? Because  _ frak.  _ The thought of having to wait even another minute to kiss Oliver the way she wanted to kiss him? It was agonizing. 

He was worth it though. That, she already knew. 


	11. Chapter 11

Sleep had eluded Felicity. 

After leaving the hospital, she, John, and Roy had gone their separate ways, agreeing to meet back at the hospital in the morning. But even knowing that Oliver was stable and safe, Felicity hadn’t been able to rest. She kept turning their conversation over and over in her mind, still giddy as a schoolgirl that Oliver Jonas Queen had actually said those three, incredible words to her. 

Oliver Jonas Queen who, according to Future Barry? Was also her future husband. And the future father of her children. That… that was a whole other can of worms she was not even remotely prepared to open. Could she even trust the word of that man? Doubtful. But the mental images that his words evoked in her now? Well… those were pretty hard to ignore. The idea of Oliver and her? Married?  _ With children?  _ Yeah that… that was something she couldn’t get out of her head. And truthfully? She didn’t want to.

After all, Oliver had said he loved her.

She’d gotten so worked up thinking about it that she’d actually phased through her bed and landed on the floor beneath it with a thud and a groan. Freeing herself had taken some doing and she was more than a little bruised (both physically and emotionally) by the time she managed to extricate herself. 

“I can lug a two hundred pound vigilante to the hospital at top speed but I can’t sleep in my own bed,” she grumbled to herself as she threw herself down on her couch, not willing to risk ending up under her bed again.

Her couch was light. That she could at least lift by herself without using her powers if she accidentally phased through it. Her bed? Not so much. Still, she wasn’t accustomed to sleeping out in her own living room and with everything that had happened, every errant sound had her on edge and unable to sleep. By the time morning finally rolled around she was perhaps, even more exhausted than she’d been the night before. 

But it was morning. Which meant she could go to the hospital and see Oliver. 

In a blur of motion, Felicity showered, brushed her teeth, dressed, and did her hair and makeup. She tried not to dwell on  _ why  _ she was getting dolled up to go to the hospital because thinking about it made her cheeks heat.

She’d told him that she loved him last night. Was it so wrong she wanted to look nice for the man that she loved, who also happened to love her back? If that was wrong, frankly, she didn’t care to be right. Checking the time, she let out a huff. 

It had been five minutes. Visiting hours at the hospital didn’t start for another two hours. ‘Impatient’ didn’t even begin to describe how she felt. What was she supposed to do for two hours?! 

Oh wow. She was beyond anxious at this point. Beyond antsy, beyond restless, even. But for crying out loud, they’d been  _ this  _ close to kissing last night! She was sure of it. And darn it, Felicity was no quitter. She wanted to finish what they’d started.  _ Pronto _ . 

“I suppose there’s no rule about waiting  _ at the hospital  _ for visiting hours to start,” she thought aloud, a sly smile stealing across her face. She could run over to the hospital now and wait there until it was time to see Oliver. After all, the sooner she got there, the sooner she could plant a smooch on that ruggedly handsome face of his. 

The energy crackled around her and did her bidding in a heartbeat. It took less concentration than usual and it was no surprise why; every fiber of her being wanted to be at Oliver’s bedside right now. Even her powers weren’t going to be able to throw her for a loop now. She was sure of it. She was out the door and down the block in a split second, and at the hospital in less than thirty seconds.

She still obviously had time to spare, so she puttered around the outside of the hospital before making her way inside. Perusing the gift shop and the cafeteria only bought her a little time; it was as if the hands of the clock had slowed just to torment her. Sighing heavily, Felicity made her way to the counter of the gift shop for the second time, having decided that she could at least send some flowers ahead of her visit to Oliver, to let him know she was thinking of him. She opted for a pleasant bouquet of yellow ranunculus, the sunshiney color seeming perfect to brighten up his hospital room. 

“Would you like the flowers delivered or are you delivering them yourself?” The cashier’s tone was bored as he asked her and Felicity smiled. 

“Delivered, please. Visiting hours haven’t started yet but I’d love to get these up to his room ASAP.” 

“Patient name and room number?” 

“Oliver Queen. Room S301,” Felicity returned crisply, having memorized the room number on her visit last night. The cashier nodded and typed the information into the computer, only to frown in puzzlement. 

“You sure you got the right room number?”

“I-I was pretty sure. Why, is he not showing up?” Felicity asked and the cashier shook his head, gesturing towards his screen. “No, he isn’t. No matches. How do you spell the name?” 

After a prolonged back and forth, Felicity left the flowers with the cashier and ran out to the information desk, feeling more than a little flustered. She’d been so sure she had the right room number but clearly, in her emotional state of the night before, she’d mixed something up. 

“Hi there. I wanted to find out what room number my...friend, is in? The name is Oliver Queen, he came in last night. I thought he was in Room S301 but when I tried to have some flowers delivered to him, he didn’t come up in the system,” Felicity rambled anxiously and the woman behind the desk offered her an understanding smile. 

“One moment please. You said the last name was Queen?” 

“Yes. Normal spelling!” Felicity chirped helpfully, bouncing on the balls of her feet as she waited. After a moment, the information desk woman’s face echoed the frown of the cashier in the gift shop. 

“I’m sorry miss, but I don’t have any ‘Oliver Queen’ listed as a current patient at this facility.” 

_ What!? _

“H-How is that possible?” Felicity felt her stomach bottom out and panic went screaming through her veins. He’d been stable when she left. The doctor had said he should make a full recovery. When she’d said goodbye to him, it had been with the belief she’d be seeing him in a few hours and now he was gone from the system? Her stomach twisted painfully as an idea struck her.

Had Oliver  _ died?! _

“Oh please no,” she murmured, suddenly light headed as she reached out to steady herself against the information desk. No. Not Oliver. Not now, when they had  _ just  _ found their way to each other. Her eyes slammed shut and she struggled to breathe as she frantically tried to recall the name of the doctor from the night before.  _ Schwartz.  _

“C-Can you help me get in touch with one of his doctors, please? Her name was Schwartz. P-Please,” Felicity pleaded desperately, her front teeth cutting into her lower lip as she fought valiantly against the tears welling in her eyes. 

As she waited for the information desk clerk to track down the doctor in question, Felicity paced the lobby with controlled strides, careful not to let her focus slip. The last thing she needed to add to this already horrendously bad situation was a lapse of her powers in front of everyone. Honestly, she shouldn’t have even used them to run over here but she’d needed to burn through some of her nervous energy or she’d have been fit to burst. 

With a start, Felicity froze, an idea occurring to her. 

Had she… Had she accidentally tapped into her powers on the way over here? She’d run. And she’d run  _ fast.  _ She’d been confident she was in control but was it possible she had actually... _ run back in time?  _

It would explain why Oliver wasn’t in the system. Felicity felt her heart go positively wild within her chest as fear exploded through her. What had she done? Dear God. If she  _ had  _ run to the past, she couldn’t do anything to change what had happened. She’d have to stand by and let Oliver be shot.  _ Again.  _ The very notion made her feel ill and she swayed on her feet before she collected herself, forcing herself to take deep breaths of air and hold them in her lungs before exhaling slowly. 

Her phone. She should check her phone. But as she reached into her purse, Felicity realized with a groan that, in her haste to get to the hospital, she’d apparently left her phone back at her place.  _ Frak.  _ Spinning back to look at the info desk, Felicity moved forward, her flats pattering pleasantly against the tile floor. 

She had been about to inquire as to what day it was when the information desk clerk smiled at her widely and beat her to the conversational punch. 

“Doctor Schwartz is on her way down, she should be here any moment.” 

“That is  _ so  _ great. Thank you so much. But could I just trouble you for one more thing?” Felicity felt her stomach fluttering nervously and she was half certain she was going to sound like a crazy person, but so be it. 

“Absolutely, how may I help you?” 

“This is probably going to sound a little ridiculous but bear with me, please. I’m a little turned around what with everything leading to my friend being here. In the hospital,” Felicity rambled by way of explanation, realizing that by trying to make herself sound less crazy, she was probably coming off as crazier than if she had just asked her question outright. What a Catch-22. “Anywho… What day is it today?” 

The clerk smiled and opened her mouth to respond but before she could, a crisp voice interrupted them.

“You paged me?” 

Felicity turned to find herself face to face with none other than the doctor from the night before. Upon seeing Felicity, the Doctor frowned. 

“I wasn’t expecting to see you back here.” 

_ Back here.  _ Felicity felt everything in her deflate.The doctor recognized her. Which meant she  _ hadn’t  _ run back in time. Objectively, that was a good thing. But that also meant… It meant…

“Oliver died?” Felicity’s voice broke on his name even as she said it and the doctor’s eyes flew open wide.

“What? When did this happen? I  _ told him  _ not to sign himself out against medical advice. He was shot last night, he belongs in the hospital, not at home. But he  _ insisted _ ,” the doctor prattled, looking incredibly flustered. 

Felicity felt as though she was on some sort of sick carnival ride as her emotions flipped from dismay and grief to confusion and hope. 

“I-I’m sorry did you say he… he  _ checked himself out?! _ ” Felicity repeated and the doctor looked at her, wide eyed and uneasy.

“Yes,” Doctor Schwartz returned, drawing out the syllables in the word. “Against Medical Advice, he did. I cautioned him against it but he adamantly refused to stay.” 

Felicity felt simultaneously buoyed by the doctor’s words and indescribably frustrated with Oliver. 

“So… he’s alive? He… He didn’t die after I left last night?” 

Looking immensely relieved, the doctor’s shoulders slumped and she shook her head. “No. Mister Queen was alive and well when he checked himself out AMA. Unless something happened to him between now and-” she checked her watch, “-twenty minutes ago, then he should be alive and well. Relatively speaking - he  _ is  _ still recovering from a bullet wound.” 

“That bullet wound will be the least of his worries when I get my hands on him,” Felicity muttered irritably, grimacing as she looked back to the doctor, who was regarding her with raised brows. “I’m sorry. I didn't mean that to come off as ominous and creepy murdery as that probably sounded,” Felicity hastened to apologize but the doctor just chuckled. 

“I’m glad to know that someone out there cares enough about him to rake him across the coals for leaving AMA. If he needs anything, call me - this,” the doctor paused, rifling through her pocket for a pen before she grabbed something to write on from the info desk, “-is my cell number. Anytime you or your umm… ‘green friend’ needs anything,” the doctor offered and Felicity bit her lower lip but nodded appreciatively.

“I will. Thank you.” 

The doctor turned to go and then seemed to hesitate a moment before she turned back to Felicity. “And for what it’s worth? He’s very lucky to have someone who loves him as much as you to take care of him. He’s lucky you were around to rush him here after that ah...‘mugging’.” The doctor smirked at Felicity and then turned and strode away, leaving Felicity reeling on a number of levels.

“Oh wow. That is going to have to be a bigger conversation with Oliver,” Felicity murmured to herself as she watched the doctor disappear, the implication of her parting words not at all lost on Felicity.  _ So much for secret identities _ , she thought to herself with a nervous hum. But that was a problem for later. “ _ After  _ I finish wringing his neck for leaving the hospital.” 

\-----

Oliver had gotten restless. 

After morning rounds with the doctors, the police had been brought in to interview him on his ‘mugging’ (the cover story that Felicity and the doctor had apparently concocted when she’d had to deliver him to the hospital with a bullet wound had been shaky at best and not having been able to corroborate with Felicity about it made it hard for Oliver to be a convincing liar. Thankfully, he was able to lean pretty heavily on the ‘I don’t remember’ aspect of the bullshit story and he seemed to have managed to convince the cops. Or else, he’d given them no inclination to pursue the case, given the limited details they had to go on. 

Whatever the case, after his interview, he’d gotten twitchy and uneasy. With visiting hours still what felt like eons away, he’d decided he was done waiting. 

He didn’t want to be stuck here in the hospital, having his visitors dictated to him. If he was going to have to recuperate and heal anywhere, he wanted it to be on his terms. And no, the Foundry wasn’t exactly the ideal place for nursing himself back to health but hey, the door was always open to Felicity, no hour restrictions. 

And he really wanted to see her. 

Her parting ‘I love you’ the night before had been burned into his brain and he’d replayed it all night long in his dreams. He was also fairly certain she’d been leaning in for a kiss when they’d been interrupted by the doctor telling her she needed to let Oliver rest. And well, Oliver couldn’t let that stand. 

He’d nearly died not having kissed her. That was a mistake that needed immediate rectifying. She loved him, for God’s sake. He felt positively giddy anytime he thought about it. Or at least, he thought he felt giddy - ‘giddy’ was not an emotion Oliver Queen had extensive experience with so he couldn’t say for certain. But this? This felt good, whatever emotion it was that he was feeling. And Felicity was absolutely the reason.

As he’d dressed himself in the ill fitting clothes the hospital staff had been kind enough to rustle together for him, he winced as his wound site pulled painfully. 

Yeah. He was definitely in no fit condition to don the hood anytime soon. And who knew how long it would be before he could draw his bow? But he was finding it rather hard to care, to be honest. He could still kiss Felicity even with his injury. And that was his number one priority right now. 

After he’d signed the paperwork (and received a last ditch earful from Doctor Schwartz), Oliver slowly made his way down to the lobby, pausing as he passed the gift shop. The glass display case was filled with various bouquets of flowers and even as he stared at them, Oliver dug into his pockets, praying that he had  _ something.  _

His wallet would have been too much to hope for. But to his surprise and glee, he  _ did  _ have a twenty stashed in his back pocket. God bless the hospital staff.

Truthfully, the flowers were an expense he probably ought not to take on. But Felicity Smoak deserved the world - the least he could do was show up at her front step with a few flowers for her. 

Hobbling inside, he perused the flowers, trying his best to find the prettiest arrangement that he could get for under twenty bucks. He’d wanted to give her a dozen red roses but the $34.99 price tag meant he was S.O.L. There was, however, a modest arrangement of red Chrysanthemums that fell within his budget. A tidy $18.97 total after tax and Oliver was out the door, his flowers in hand. 

Pros: he had flowers and plenty of time to get to Felicity’s place before she left for the hospital. Visiting hours were still a ways off, so he should be able to catch her before she departed with ease. 

Cons: he had $1.03 to his name and a bus ride to her place would cost him at least $1.50. He could walk but  _ fuck.  _ His side was already hurting. He could ask for his dollar to be broken down to quarters and he could use a pay phone to call John or Roy to pick him up but he didn’t particularly fancy including them in this. He had a feeling he’d be on the receiving end of a great deal of chewing out and that wasn’t what he wanted to deal with before going to Felicity to pick up where they’d left off last night. 

“Slow and steady wins the race,” he sighed as he began to slowly make his way down the crowded city sidewalk, clutching his arm against his injured side as he carefully navigated his fellow pedestrians. 

Ten minutes into his journey, Oliver began to second guess his decision making process. He didn’t precisely  _ regret  _ getting the flowers for Felicity. He just… perhaps… should have gotten a cheaper arrangement? Not that the hospital gift shop really had a dollar flower bin or something. But saving a bit of his twenty dollars of pocket money for a cab or the bus would have been wise. 

Then again, no one had ever accused Oliver of being the wise one of the group.

After three city blocks, he stopped to rest at a bus stop, gratefully seeking shelter from the sun beneath the shaded structure. As he sat and recuperated on the bench, a quick glance at his flowers showed that they’d already begun to wilt beneath the beating sun overhead. 

Well fuck. 

It was the idea of showing up a half dead, sweaty mess, with wilted, crappy flowers that got him on his feet and moving again. The sooner he got to Felicity’s place (and air conditioning) the better - for him  _ and  _ the flowers. 

He just had to hope he didn’t pass out on the damn sidewalk while trying to get there. He tried to think if he knew what the signs were of a person about to pass out before they actually did so. 

Then again, the symptoms were probably everything he was feeling already - lightheaded. His vision was swimming a bit at the edges. His chest felt tight and he wasn’t getting much air. Come to think of it, his earlier blood loss probably wasn’t helping matters. 

Fuck. Felicity was going to kill him if she saw him like this.

\-----

“No, it’s okay. I’m going to go to the Foundry to look for him now. How about you take QC and Roy hits the streets near the hospital? They said he left by himself, so that means he was probably on foot.” 

She could not believe Oliver had checked himself out AMA. Scratch that - she  _ could  _ believe it, she just wanted to throttle him for being so  _ daft _ . The blockhead nearly  _ died  _ the night before and now he had up and decided against doctor’s orders that he was well enough to go home. ‘Home’ not even being an actual, proper home, but a frigging  _ cot.  _

She was mad enough to strangle him. Fortunately for OIiver and his neck though, she saw neither hide nor hair of him as she left the hospital, her eyes scanning the city streets as she slowly guided her mini Cooper away from the hospital and towards the Glades. She didn’t necessarily expect him to walk all that way but.. Well, she wasn’t at all sure  _ what  _ was going through his mind at present so trying to predict what he would do next was a little like trying to guess what a drunken toddler would do next. There was no knowing - you just had to wait and see and hope for the best. 

But as Felicity drove and saw no sight of him, rage took second fiddle to worry. 

Where the hell had he gone? The inescapable voice of insecurity and abandonment issues whispered in the back of her mind that he’d  _ gone  _ as far as he could possibly get from her and her love declaration. Obviously his ‘I love you’ had just been a way of calming the situation down long enough so he could bolt out of town. How good of her to carry out the legacy of Smoak women getting abandoned by men that they thought had loved them. 

_ No. Enough.  _

With a shake of her head, Felicity forced the thought out of her brain, adamantly refusing to believe that Oliver was anything like her father. Oliver had put  _ three arrows  _ in the chest of the Count when he’d threatened her. Those were not the actions of a man who was going to be easily scared off by a little thing like an ‘I love you’ from his eyes in the skies. Oliver was out here somewhere. Precisely where and precisely why, she didn’t yet know. But she would find him. Or John or Roy would. But they’d find him and he would be okay. 

He had to be. 

But after a thorough sweep of Verdant’s above- and below- ground levels, Felicity felt worry give way to a more deeply rooted fear. Was terror too strong a word? She felt like she might be bordering on terror but perhaps that was overly dramatic to say. 

She was definitely damn scared though. 

“No, John. There’s no sight of him and no one I’ve talked with has spoken to him. I’m going to go home and change clothes and then I’m going to keep looking. If Roy is covering from the Glades to the hospital, I can take from the hospital up to Park,” she offered as she guided her mini cooper into its parking spot, trying to play it cool even as her heart pounded in her chest. “I’ll be in touch. Thank you John, for helping.” 

“We’re going to find him, Felicity.” 

She swallowed and hung up the phone wordlessly, trying to get her head in the game. What she  _ hadn’t  _ told John was that she was about to do something that was perhaps not strictly smart. But if she told him, he’d try and talk her out of it or stop her. And she was  _ not  _ going to be talked out of it. 

She was going to use her speed to run around the city until she found him. Was it advisable? No. She had no mask, no way of hiding her identity. She’d never done a prolonged run like that, aside from that first day she’d woke up and run from Central City to Starling. She had no idea what to expect, other than a gaping caloric deficit when she was done. There was every possibility she might pass out again, as she’d done then. But Felicity was done doing the right thing and the smart thing. She’d done the right thing by not running back in time and changing the past to prevent Oliver from being injured. That had cost her heart greatly, not to mention what it had cost Oliver physically. She’d done the smart thing by calling in help and splitting up to look for him. And that smart choice had born no fruit. 

So damn it, she was going to do the reckless thing and if it blew up in her face, so be it. If she found Oliver safe and sound, it would be worth it. 

As she raced towards her front door, she stared at her keys as she fumbled with them, so upset that her hands were shaking - though thankfully, these shakes were of the normal human variety, not the metahuman kind. 

Blowing out a breath through the side of her mouth, she tried to steady herself as she took her house key in hand, prepared to zoom in and zoom out in under five minutes flat. She’d change her shoes, pin back her hair, and change into something a little more ‘athletic’ and a little less ‘trying to impress the guy she loved’. But all of those thoughts fled her mind the second she lifted her gaze to her front door and saw a man sitting slumped against the door to her place, sweat soaked and clutching a positively tragic looking little bouquet. 

“Ol-  _ OLIVER?! _ ” Felicity began in a gasp that quickly transformed into a shout as she ran flat out to him, the energy crackling as she sped the remaining distance between them. Kneeling before him, her hands hovered around his face - ghastly pale and covered in sweat. “Oh my god, what the hell happened to you? Are you alright? Oliver? Can you hear me?” 

She needed to slow down. But god help her, she was so relieved to have found him but simultaneously completely freaked out by how awful he looked. As she rambled at him, he cracked open one eye and offered her a weary smile. 

“I brought you sm’flowers,” he slurred a bit as he lifted his left arm weakly to show her a smattering of red flowers that… well. Looked as though they had seen better days. 

“Why are you here and not at the hospital?! The doctor said you checked yourself out against medical advice! What were you thinking? And what the hell happened to you after you left?!”

His eyes shuttered closed again and he grunted, giving a faint shake of his head. 

“You’re gonna yell at me,” he resisted and she had half a mind to smack him but he was so far gone, she doubted it would do any good rousing him. 

“Why do I suspect that’s very true?” Felicity sighed, carefully slipping an arm beneath him on his uninjured side as she tried to coax him up. “Come on. Easy. I’ve got you. Let’s get you inside and clean you up. We can put a pin in the yelling until later, after I’ve got some water in you. You look like you’re about to pass out.” 

“The flowers need water too,” he protested faintly and she closed her eyes and exhaled through her nose. 

“Yes. Right. The flowers.” 

“I got them for  _ you.  _ They’re chrsymu-...charysmu-...” he fumbled and she shook her head faintly, torn between laughter and tears. 

“Chrysanthemums?”

He snapped his fingers by way of response (or rather, he  _ attempted  _ to snap them - the resulting action being something of a fumbled endeavor) and he gave her a wide grin.

“That’s it! You’re so smart.” 

Oh boy.

“Yeah, I think that’s the dehydration talking. Come on you, let’s get you inside and get you out of these clothes,” she muttered, plucking disgustedly at his blood stained shirt - it looked like he might have bled through his surgical site. She had no idea what she was going to put him  _ in  _ after she got him out of his current clothes, but that was a problem for future her to worry about. 

“One ‘I love you’ and already you’re trying to have your way with me? Miss Smoak,” he scoffed and god help her, she wanted to bludgeon him but he was basically drunk with fatigue and dehydration. Hitting him would be like punching a puppy. 

“Yeah that’s it, alright,” she muttered, rolling her eyes as she shepherded him into her place. Half leading, half dragging him, she maneuvered him to the bathroom and managed to sit him down on the toilet, where she proceeded to strip him of his shirt and pants, careful to keep his boxers on and her gaze chest high or above as she wet a washcloth and set about cleaning some of the sweat and grime off of him. She avoided his injury site for the moment, careful to give the gauzed and taped region a wide berth as she went about tending to him. Once she felt reasonably sure he wasn’t going to topple over if left unsupervised, she darted out to her kitchen and called John to fill him in and call off the search. She requested that he drop off some clothes for Oliver, as well as some gatorade, then she quickly hung up and set about getting some water into the fool. 

She returned to him with a plastic cup of water (not really trusting him with glass at the moment, all things considered), which she promptly made him drink. Halfway through, he raised a fuss about his flowers, which she had so callously left on the bathroom sink. Scooping them up to placate him, she threw them into a vase with some water, showing him the proof of her diligent flower TLC before she returned to him.

“Okay, how are you feeling now, smart guy?” Felicity inquired dryly and Oliver gave her a sheepish nod, seeming more himself.

“Better.” 

He looked it too - his cheeks were no longer flaming red with exertion and now that she’d had him sit with a cool washcloth on his forehead for a bit, he seemed to be coming back to his senses. Not that that was saying much, apparently. 

“How much better?” Felicity pressed and she saw him wilt slightly beneath her tone. 

“Better enough for you to yell at me and not feel bad about it,” he offered, gritting his teeth as he offered her a wary, small smile. In answer, she crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes at him but instead, gestured towards his side.

“How about instead I change the dressing on your wound first?” 

Oliver pulled a face but nodded and Felicity got to work removing the soiled gauze and replacing it with new bandages. From what little she could deduce, he didn’t seem to have done anything horrific to his surgical site, merely aggravated it enough to reopen it, but she was still going to keep a close eye on it.

As she finished, however, they both seemed to know what was coming. Looking at her expectantly, Oliver sighed. “Okay. You can let me have it now. I deserve it.” 

After a brief pause, Felicity took a breath, trying to rein in her anger at least a little. 

“What the  _ frak  _ were you thinking checking yourself out of the hospital AMA?! Oliver, you got  _ shot  _ yesterday!” Felicity hissed, raising her hands to her face, only to throw them down to her sides as her fingers clenched into fists. “Do you have any idea how terrified I’ve been? How worried  _ all of us _ have been? I had Roy and John searching the streets for you! I was afraid you’d been hurt or forced to check out under duress or… or that you freaked out about stuff with us and skipped town!” Felicity added with a huff, avoiding his gaze as she glared instead at the floor tiles.

“Felicity.” Her name was so soft as it fell from his lips she felt a familiar, pleasant flutter in her stomach but it was certainly not enough to quell her rage. He was  _ not  _ sweet talking his way out of this. 

“Oliver, I told you I loved you. And that I would be back as soon as visiting hours started. All you had to do was wait for me and you couldn’t do that. Do you have any idea how afraid I was to tell you how I felt? And then the very next day, when I show up at the hospital, you’re nowhere to be found in the system. God, Oliver I was afraid I had pulled a Barry and accidentally run back through time! There was also a period of time I was afraid you  _ had died  _ because I didn’t know why you had disappeared from the hospital’s system _! _ ” 

To his credit, he looked aghast at the litany of fears she’d experienced in the short interim between his leaving the hospital and this moment. But his surprise did little to diminish the force of her discontent. 

“Oliver, you said that you loved me. But if that’s true… You need to start taking better care of yourself or there’s not going to be any ‘you’ for me  _ to  _ love!” Felicity shouted, her chest rising and falling rapidly as the two of them regarded each other warily. 

“I-I had no idea, Felicity. It wasn’t my intention to scare you-”

“Well you did. And that’s saying a lot, because you just finished scaring me last night when I was afraid you were going to die from the bullet wound that I couldn’t get to you in time to prevent. I have enough guilt on my plate about what happened to you without you showing a complete disregard for your own wellbeing so you can go traipsing through town.”

He had the decency to look crushed and guilty but Felicity was still  _ furious.  _ “You don’t get to do that, Oliver. Don’t you understand? I told you that I love you last night. And while that may not entitle me to anything, I would really appreciate it if you could just take care of yourself, if not for your sake then at least for mine and for the sake of all the other people in your life who love you. Don’t you get it? _ I love you _ . Whatever happens to you, happens to me too. You’re walking around carrying my heart with you wherever you go. Don’t you understand?” 

Sighing, she closed her eyes and passed a hand over her forehead. Then she took the couple steps closer to him, placing a hand on each of his shoulders before she opened her eyes and stared down at him. “Oliver, when I thought I’d lost you… I wanted to curl up and die. I don’t know what John or Roy or I would do without you. You… You  _ matter _ . And maybe you’ve forgotten that or maybe you didn’t know, but you do. You matter. To them and… to me. So please… Just take better care of yourself. For all of us.” 

He swallowed as he looked up at her, nodding vaguely. “I-I’m sorry, Felicity. I never wanted to scare you,” he began and she nodded, though his words did little to move her. “I know it’s not the same but… When you were learning how to control your powers? That day you kept falling and ripping your arms open? ... I felt like I was having my heart ripped out of my chest, over and over again.” 

She bit her lower lip, feeling badly now for having put him through any semblance of what she’d just experienced, though admittedly, hers felt far more justified than his ill advised flight. But that was neither here nor there. 

“I understand now, how you feel. When I”m in the field. When I’m in danger… And I’m sorry. For today. And for last night - for not listening when you told me to wait for backup.” 

_ Oh.  _ Well. That was unexpected. 

“I should have listened. And I promise that from now on… I’ll do better. After all… I would really like to stick around long enough to take you on a proper date. And… maybe buy you a proper bouquet of flowers,” he groaned as he cast his glance to the vase of flowers on the edge of the bathroom sink. The water had not magically revived the pathetic looking Chrysanthemums, sadly. 

She smiled and touched his cheek, laughing silently at his distress over flowers, of all things. 

“I don’t need any of that, Oliver. All I need is…  _ you. _ ” 

He fell silent and still beneath her touch as she spoke and then he raised his eyes to hers, that same unidentifiable something from last night in them once more. 

“Felicity… I would really like to kiss you now,” he murmured softly and she felt her stomach explode with butterflies and her heart took off like a rocket. 

“I would really like you to kiss me, Oliver.” 

His fingers crept up her arm, gently drawing her down to him. And despite her reservations, he pulled her strategically into his lap, mindful of his injured side. His palm lifted to touch her cheek and she leaned into the touch, her eyes fluttering closed as his fingertips moved up to her hairline and his fingers carded slowly through her hair. 

“I love you, Felicity. I will try very hard to never scare you like that again,” he assured her and she smiled faintly. 

“Promise?” 

“I promise.” 

Cupping the back of her head, he closed the gap between her face and his, his lips brushing against hers with profound gentleness. His lips were warm and soft against hers and she responded to him quickly in a kiss equal parts loving and expressive. As tender as it was, it communicated so much. His regret, her forgiveness, and the love that they shared for each other. As the kiss went on, he sought to deepen it and Felicity felt a thrill as the kiss intensified and she opened her mouth for him. His tongue stroked hers and she exhaled against him as her heart rate continued to spike as the kiss she’d been literally  _ dreaming of  _ happened at last.

And it was better than she’d dreamed. Which was saying… a lot. 

As they began to part, a tiny crackle of electricity zinged between them, leaving her lips even more tingly than they had been before. Felicity sucked in a nervous breath of air, her eyes wide as she stared at him but Oliver only chuckled quietly. Without hesitation, his nose nuzzled against hers for a moment before he leaned towards her until their foreheads met. They held there like that, her hands cupping the back of his neck, her fingers playing at the ends of his hair. 

“I can’t believe we could have been doing that this whole time instead of arguing and whatever else we’ve been doing,” Oliver muttered, mirth in his voice as he held her close. She smiled and leaned forward, pressing a chaste kiss at the corner of his mouth. 

“I guess we’ll have to make up for lost time then, hmm?” Felicity hummed and she felt the rumbled noise of agreement roll through him.

“Absolutely we will,” he confirmed with a smile before he caught her lips once more in another kiss, this one a little more animated than the first. Felicity lost herself in kissing him, for a while aware of nothing but his lips and his tongue and his mouth. She hadn’t had a makeout session  _ this  _ prolonged since high school, when making out and copping a feel was the pinnacle of romance. But even as she raised a hand to his cheek and brushed along the stubble of his jaw, Felicity couldn’t help but smile. 

High school had been a long time ago and she certainly had progressed past makeouts and second base fumbling but Oliver? He was making her feel like she was in high school again. In a good way. The butterflies, the heady rush she felt kissing him. It was all familiar and yet, new and she found herself positively giddy over it. 

When they finally parted, a little out of breath and with flushed cheeks, she couldn’t help but laugh softly as she ducked her head, shaking it. She could hear the smile in his voice as he asked after her.

“What?” 

“Nothing,” she laughed, only to feel his fingers tickle at her rib cage, drawing forth more laughter from her. She batted his hand away playfully and then lifted her head to look at him as the rest of her went still. “I just...I really love you.” 

Whatever the future held for them - whether it was marriage and children or something else entirely - she was ready to face it. With him. 

He smiled at her, an all consuming, genuine smile that made his cheeks dimple and his eyes glitter. “Well for the record? I really love you too.”

\-----

“Arsenal, what’s your status?” 

“In position, but I’ve got a panel van blocking my view of the entrance,” Roy returned irritably. “Felicity, can you get eyes on the door for me?” 

From the other side of the comms, the team heard a throat clearing pointedly moments prior to Oliver’s voice breaking over the line. 

“Arsenal,  _ codenames _ , remember? We’re in the field,” Oliver growled in warning and on the rooftop above Oliver, Roy rolled his eyes. 

“Seriously you guys? I thought that was a joke. Come on.” 

“Not a joke. Very real. You all have codenames. I wanted one too. Especially if I’m gonna be in the field, backing you up from time to time. I have an identity to protect too, Arsenal!” Felicity reminded him in a bright, clear voice as she teased him while her fingers simultaneously flew across the keyboard at inhuman speeds. 

“I’m so over this already,” Roy groused. 

“Man, you’re bringing this pain on yourself. Just use her codename,” John chortled and Roy sighed heavily, as if so very put upon by having to take this extra step. 

“Fine.  _ Velocity _ , what’s the situation on the ground?” Roy grumbled and back at her keyboard, Felicity beamed. 

“Glad you asked, Arsenal! We’ve got two goons of the hulking goon variety at the south exit, both packing heat,” Felicity informed the team briskly, spinning proudly in her wheelie chair as her codename got some use. 

“Copy that, Velocity. Okay then: Spartan, Arsenal. You take that exit. I’m moving in through the roof access door,” Oliver directed as he fired off a jettison arrow. As he prepared to zipline across, Felicity’s voice chimed in his ear. 

“Please take it easy, Arrow. I know you got cleared by your doctor to resume going to the ah ‘gym’, but… I worry.” 

“Hey,” Oliver murmured quietly, pausing before he flung himself to the building across the way. “I promise you - I’m going to be careful. Nowhere I wanna be more than at home with you. You know that.” 

“And you know that I will not hesitate to race across town if you are in harm’s way. And we  _ both  _ know how much you love that notion,” she teased and he groaned. 

“I know. Believe me, I don’t want to give you any excuse to use the mask and suit Cisco cooked up for you.”

“Aww, but I really think purple is my color!” Felicity chirped brightly, shaking her head in laughter as she heard Oliver’s groan on the other end of the comms. 

“I’m not arguing that. But as much as I love seeing you in tight fitting leather, I’m not a big fan of the whole ‘putting yourself in harm’s way’ that goes with  _ that  _ particular leather getup,” he pointed out and Felicity couldn’t deny that she understood that double edged sword - it was how she felt every time he suited up in his Arrow leathers. 

“I’m going to barf.” 

Silence met Roy’s comment for a long minute before Oliver piped up, not sounding nearly as abashed as Felicity felt. “...Did everyone just hear that conversation?” 

“FRAK. I thought your comms were off,” Felicity groaned as she realized her mistake, only to be met with the sounds of fake retching from Roy and a chuckle from John.

“Nope. Very much on. Thanks for that,” Diggle teased and Oliver shook his head as Felicity whimpered, plainly mortified. 

“I am so sorry.” 

“Not as sorry as I am,” Roy grunted. 

“I’d like to state for the record I didn’t know you could hear but I regret nothing. Velocity looks good in the field, I’d just prefer she stay on the comms. Now, I’m heading for the roof. You got it from here, Velocity?” Oliver inquired a little too brightly. She could practically hear the ear to ear grin he must be wearing.

“Ugh. Yes. Please be careful. I love you.” 

“I love you more,” Oliver returned before he threw himself over the roof’s edge and the zipline made a high pitched hiss as he hurtled towards the building in question. His side felt tight but not painful where his wound had mostly healed, though he still had to be mindful of how he moved, lest he aggravate the site. He wasn’t worried though - regardless of how tonight went (and he was determined it would go swiftly and safely) he knew he had the best possible backup, both on the ground and on the comms. 

And whether he was in the field or at home, he knew he also had the best damn partner he could ask for in Felicity. 

“Velocity? Arrow on site. Prepare to disable the alarm system on my count.” 

“I read you, Arrow. Ready when you are.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for making it to the end of this story! I hope you enjoyed the ride. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment/leave kudos. Your support means a lot and I'm so glad you've followed along on this journey. Thank you. :)


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